I broke my VCR today
During one of Wolf’s AROOOO-ings

I never knew the price I’d pay
For those repeated viewings

To work again it never would
I could tell that from the first look

My only thought as I quickly stood?
Oh Cripes!  Where’s the book?

I’m addicted to a Wolf -slash- Man
A fact it’s plain to see

I’m enamored of his romantic plan
To find his poor heart’s ease

I’m obsessed with the Wolfie things he does
The way he scratches his brow

I get a thrill with every grin
A jolt with every growl

I could speak for hours about his smile
And of his sultry stare

I could tell you of his dashing style
Or of his loving care

We could sit and share some tea
And contentment we would find

We’d laugh and talk about the “he”
Of course I wouldn’t mind

To tell you of my favorite line
Well, that would be quite rough

I’d scratch my brow as if in sign
And follow with ‘huff puff!’

There’s when he rescues his dreamy creamy girl
Ignoring her rants and ravings

For he just knew he’d one day win his pearl
I mean, due to his multiple savings

“Love of my life,” he would exclaim
“Let down your lustrous curls

Dear aren’t you glad I came?
For you I’d cross through worlds

I give my solemn Wolfie word
You’ll never come to harm

I wonder darling if you’ve heard
You have substantial charm?”

We’d weep for him in Kissingtown
As his broken heart hit the floor

And when Virginia let him down
We’d see it shatter to it’s core

Of when they played that yummy game
That fabled hide-and-seek

I don’t think we’ll ever be the same
Frankly, I’m still weak!

The noble struggle of our gourmand
On who we’re all so hooked

We’d discuss his craving to be a better “man”
Or how ‘rare implies dangerously cooked’

Of all these things we could wax rhapsodical
We’re all craving more

To be thorough we could get methodical
And delve into Simon’s lore

But what about our family and friends
I bet their awfully lonely

Even though we meant no offense
Just indulging in “if only...”

They’re bound to see it another way
Another fact that’s plain

They’ll think we’re well, not okay
Or just a touch insane

When we spend these hours on the net
Talking to our new friends

I wonder if they’ll ever get
The pleasure to us it sends

To know on this we aren’t alone
Not just one crazy loon

That if we ALL pick up the phone
They’ll make a sequel...soon