Stationery Hero of the Month | An Essay on stationery | Things you should get
Stationery Hero of the Month
_____This months stationery Hero is the Marquis de Sade:
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The Marquis de Sade is a great example of why Stationeryists can not be held back. Even when they took away his stationery, he fought back and improvised. He is an inspiration to us all.
Essay: The Stationery-ist Manifesto by Natalya Karsevina
A spectre is haunting Office Works - the spectre of Stationery. All the powers of technology have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this spectre: Microsoft and MacIntosh, Bill Gates and Palm Pilots, Computer nerds and illiterates.
Where is the paper in opposition that has not be decried as bleached by recyclists in power? Where is the white-out that has not hurled back the branding reproach of 'Xylene Free' against the more advanced 'correction tape' as well as its electronic adversaries?
Two things result from this fact:
- Stationery is already acknowledged to be itself stuff to write on
- It is high time that Stationeryists should openly, in the face of the recycling bin, publish their views, their aims and their tendency to buy stuff they don't need and meet this nursery-tale of the spectre of Stationery with a manifesto of the party itself.
To this end, Stationeryists of various nationalities have not assembled in London and sketched (using HB pencils, 90c each) the following manifesto, to be published in the English, British, maybe Russian, Australian, American and Canadian languages.
Stationery-ists disdain to conceal their felt-tip pens and biros. They openly declare that their picture books can only be coloured-in by the forcible overthrow of all existing Microsoft Paint users. Let the yuppies tremble at stationery revolution. We have nothing to lose but our manilla folders. We have a warehouse to win.
Stationeryists of the world, write!
Recommended Items & Their Uses
- Fluoro coloured paper
- Purple glue sticks
- Dries clear. Doesn't taste like you'd expect it to.
- Docket book
- Makes carbon copies of everything you write. You probably don't NEED one but if you use your brain, there are many practical applications. For instance, uni students can create immediate copies of their notes to give (or sell) to friends who were absent.
- Blue tack
- Coloured white-out
- Hard to find, good as nail polish. Remember - you shouldn't sniff it...
- Stamps
- Dates or messages, like the priceless 'REJECTED'. I stamped all over a foolscap-sized piece of paper and wrapped a present in it. They all thought it was chic post-modern wrapping paper.
- Hole punch
- When my Aunty Noelene was getting married and had to cut costs, this little baby, as far as making confetti & doilies, is a lifesaver. Shame it didnt save Noelene's wedding too.
- Safe/Combination lock
- Easily opened. Combination locks make the fun of opening stuff last twice as long.
- Paper clips
- Bert from Sesame street collected these. Come in all different shapes and sizes. Fun to unbend.
- Guillotine
- O� est ta t�te, Marie Antoinette? Hehe, that rhymes.
- Texta Zoom Crayons
- BEST IN THE WORLD
- Filing cabinet with lock
- Must have.
- Pricing gun
- I guess it's still stationery...
- Whiteboard marker
- Rubs off most things, smells great but no xylene, I'm afraid.
