Arkham, Mass. That's the name of our town, a fictional town that ole' Lovecraft used a great deal (much as Steve King would later use a certain mythical town in Maine) in his writings. It's the mid-1700s and grouchy townsperson Ezra Weedon (Leo Gordon) is keeping watch from the window of the tavern. Damn good place to keep watch from. Come away and drink more, says perenially-twitchy Micah Smith (played by the perenially-twitchy Elisha Cook Jr.). But ole' Weedon is keeping watch for some foul sign of the dark magicks which keep Arkham shrouded in mist and thunderstorm. Of course, it is probably the standard AIP dark magicks, since most of their small bewitched towns are kept shrouded in mist and thunderstorm.
What's that! A beautiful blond damsel, walking as if enchafed by a fiend! She does that slow-stately-doomed walk so intrinsic to 60's horror (at least when one is walking as if enchafed by a fiend) through the misty cobblestoned streets of Arkham, past the spooooky graveyard (more mist here, plus some stock footage of animated lightning) and up the the surprisingly well-lit doors of The Haunted Palace!!!. Of course, Weedon and Smith have trailed her. "Don'cha see man! Behind that door lies Satan himself!" growls Weedon (Leo Gordon), doing about as good an Irish accent as David Boreanaz. Smith and Weedon rush back to town to fetch one of those angry mobs that only exist in AIP films (being about thirty people short of the classic Universal Films style angry mob) and they haul out Joseph Curwen (Vincent Price, with bristling Van Dyke beard, and an even more arched eyebrow than The Rock) who is accompanied by his sultry femme fatale (Cathie Merchant as Hester Tillinghast) and promptly tied to a tree. Said tree is set to flame, but not prior to Vincent taking his sweet time in cursing the townspeople, "Your children, and your children's children!"
On this note it would seem to me, that angry mobs back in witch/warlock burning days always seemed to give their targets a wee bit too much time to curse them. Gag them preceeding the requisite torching maybe? At least your children and your children's children would appreciate it...
One hundred (and ten) years later, Arkham looks much the same, even down to the same actors playing their descendents (nice! And cheap!) with slightly different names, and slightly more 1880s style clothing. Enter Charles Dexter Ward (Price again) with lovely wife Ann (Debra Paget, in what I believe was her final film appearance). They've come from Boston, learning of an inherited property in Arkham. Weedon and Smith (and some others) are stand-offish in the traditional "That there is a cursed place!" manner. Kindly Doctor Willet (Frank Maxwell) points them in the proper direction to The Palace (brought here stone-by-stone from someplace... no one knows where, in fact "no one wants to know where!") which is properly cobwebbed and murky.
While exploring Ann discovers an obviously lost boa constricter in the kitchen (Price dispatches it quickly with a cleaver, go Vincent! Wait, poor snake!) and Ann discovers a painting of Joseph Curwen who, needless to say, his descendent greatly resembles. They also meet Simon (a pudgy Lon Chaney Jr, whose makeup made him look either very dead, or like a dusty yellow cheese) who claims to be the caretaker. Of course, when they meet him, it's quite dark and Ann does the traditional stop-breath-gasp-take. "I was preparing for your arrival." "In the dark?!?" "One gets quite used to the dark in this place, madam."
Ward and Wife plan to only stay in The Haunted Palace until they figure out what to do with it, but old Joseph (via his gloomy portrait) starts possesing his great-great-grandson. Vincent actually does a rather subdued and nice transformation each time his malevolent ancestor enters him (hands to the temple, uncertain speech, and then suddenly he's all arch and grimmly self-satisfied).
Well, it seems that Joseph Curwen (with the help of Simon, and a random third guy whom the credits named Jabez Hutchinson [played by AIP stalwart Milton Parsons], but who had exactly two lines and was never addressed in the film) was using an ancient and "forbidden" volume of writing, one Necronomicon (!!!) to open a portal for "The Great Old Ones, Elder Gods, such as C'thulu, Yog-Shoggoth, and others more terrible". The means of opening said portal are vague at best, but have to do with Curwen enchanting the young wives of Arkham, and essentially allowing a great green beastie (seen once or twice down a manhole-like trapdoor) to have its way with them.
The product of this "most unholy union" are a bunch of poor make-up jobs on non-speaking extras who all walk very slowly, and are kept locked up and fed beef-hearts (!!?!?) by the townspeople of Arkham. Despite the fact that Curwen's experiments ended with his death some one hundred and ten years ago, these demon-genes have passed down through the townspeople, so there is still some shambling critters with fried-egg eyes wandering about. Why they are allowed to wander about to scare Ward & Wife some of the time, and kept locked up as dangerous the rest of the time isn't made clear.. but hey, this is one greasy cheeseburger, so I'm not complaining.
At this point, Bettie fell asleep on the sofa, so I got up to cover her with a blanket and pour myself another glass of disguised Egri Bikavar.