Frequently Asked Questions

noirbettie.com frequently asked questions

1. Are these questions asked that frequently?
No. I don't think anyone actually reads my site.

2. So where did you get the questions from?
I made them up. I was bored.

3. Then why should I even read this?
Because I said so.

4. Do you write everything yourself?
No. Oslowe writes the Grumpy Critic, Angry Cook section. Some of the other sections have guest writers. Every article is labeled on the page it is linked from, and most of them on the article as well.

5. Is your name really Bettie Black? I thought it was Bettie von Pie. I'm so confused!
Yes, I know you did, and sorry about that. I use the name Bettie online. It isn't my real name. Because of that, I feel justified in using whatever surname strikes my fancy at any given time. While we're at it, oslowe's name isn't really oslowe, nor is Sasami's name really Sasami. Pseudonyms are wizard!

6. So, what is your real name? And can I have your phone number, too, you sexy thing?
Um. I'm not even going to pretend to answer this. I don't even know why I wrote it.

7. Why do you have a geocities website but a Hotmail email address?
Because my Yahoo inbox overflowed with fanmail.

8. Geocities really sucks. Why don't you use a better host?
Because I am too lazy to learn html or even to decode those scary "ftp" programs. I think they may be of the devil, anyway. Geocities does everything for me, and it looks fairly decent, I think.

9. Can't you at least upgrade to a banner-free site?
Sure I can. Send me money.

10. Can you review [this movie] for me?
It's doubtful. But my boyfriend is a total whore, and he'll do it for $5.00 and a bucket of Popeye's chicken.

11. Can I use an article from your site on mine?
No. But you're welcome to link to any page on my site. I'd appreciate an email letting me know about it, and if I think your site is good, I'll give you a link on mine as well.
Please note that if you are from a real publication and wish to pay me for my writing, you are more than welcome to contact me and we can work something out.

12. Can I use an image from your site on mine?
No. If you wish to save any of the pictures to your own computer, for personal use, I can't stop you. Scary stalker person. But you may not re-publish them on your own site, and you cannot direct link (geocities doesn't allow it).

13. So your stuff is copywrited, huh?
Yes. So is the writing by guests on my site. It was this whole copywriting thing. There was a party. Didn't you get the invite?

14. I want to link to your site on mine. Is that OK? And do you have a button or a banner?
Yes, it's OK. No, I don't have a banner. I do have a button, designed by my friend Amy. I don't know any fancy code, but here's the graphic for you:

[Please link to www.noirbettie.com]

Please note that if you link to me, I'd appreciate an email telling me where to find the link. I might even link back to your site, if I like it. I might not - I have this whole bipolar thing.

15. Why are there links on the site that don't go to anything?
Because I have ideas about what I want to eventually publish on the site, and it was easier to write in the fake links than to try to remember and do it later.

16. How can I tell what's been updated on the site?
If I remember, I put a little red 'new' next to the link on the main page. Usually I don't remember.

17. Do you have a weblog?
Yes. If you are my parents or are under, say, 14-ish, please don't read it. Otherwise, you can find it here.

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