Angels in the outfield
Watching, singing love songs
And lullabies
Looking over me
Keeping me safe in their
Arms, smiles, words
Holding me safe in my dreams
Reminding me
When I wake
That sky blue eyes
Don't lie
Or hold back
And no matter what comes
No matter how far I fall
They'll catch me
In feathered wings
Each little piece
Of my fractured
Dog eared heart
Is made up of love
Fiery hot passion
For each person who
Has ever
Stroked my cheeks
Wiped away imaginary tears
Run their fingers
Though my mind and hair
Past, present, and future
Every little moment
Is recorded on
Mucus colored tissues
Clenched to my chest
In awe of those dear enough
To claim a piece
And call it "mine"
Why does it always hurt so much?
To crush your angels between you hands
Feeling the delicate wings crumble
And the feathers you've clung to
Blow away in the wind
Why can't it be easy?
To kiss away their tears
And ease their constant pain
Why is it I've become a guardian mortal
To an angel?
I haven't had a blue day
Snow cone colored
Walking day
In ages
Where my heart aches
For troubles
Gnomes and ogres and trolls
Created
And I can't stop them
I think of frog entrails
Wrapped into a devilish pixie's
Up-do, upturned, bold, brown
Foot
I wanted to write angry poems
Make a blank page bleed
And seethe
Write of vomit
Mucus, piss, shit, anger
Anger, anger
As if I could make it appear brittle
Like glass broken
Shattered
As I used to perceive life
And think it should be
But I can't
And I won't
I'm only afraid now a days
Of light not coming in
Of not letting enough light out
But I'm not afraid to love
Of love
To be love
To exude
And exalt
And let others know
I hate love poems
And I hate dedications
But I don't dedicate
Send to
Say to
I do
I love
Running
Pounding in time
With my feet
Pounding against my flesh
Like fists
Or like kisses
Pressed too violently against
Tender skin
Pounding
As I dart
And run
Left eventually to fling out my arms
As if embracing a lover
Hitting me softly
Running down my body
Plastering everything unearthly to
My flesh
In sheets of grey
Naked Rain Standing
Running down bare bottoms and backs
Hooray for it!
Hiding from prying eyes
Peeking like a pixie around doors
Until the right time
To jump, spin, hop
And then run back behind doors
So no one will know
The pleasure one can partake in
Especially when it comes to
Naked Rain Dancing
The world on a silver platter
With a side dish of stars
And a big helping of the moon
Would never touch me so deeply
As the smallest leaf
The brightest smile of a child
Two lovers embracing after their time apart
Or a picture of a friend
Who's wistful smile
Makes her look unknown to even the closest of friends
And the tragic beauty that hangs around her
That only film can seem to capture
Is the thing that pulls at my heart
The sadness in that smile
Forced away so only happiness
No matter how strained
Would be all that shows
And the tragedy in that one photo
The deepest of kisses shared by unknowns
The smile of that child
With so much to learn
Are the things that pull at my heart strings
And touch me deep enough
To cry
I was a faded ghost girl
Until the light of something wonderful
shone through
Making me whole
Making me real
For the shortest moments in time
And now I return
To being a ghost girl
The few wonderful people I know
Making the surface glimmer
Making the surface gleam
But never making me half as real
As I've ever been
Saving me from a thousand deaths
Because I already am
Which is why it's safe to be a ghost girl
He's not coming 'round here no more
Because of emotions I couldn't handle
I suffer now because of the things
That no should have been an easy answer to
But he meant so much
To me
He's not coming 'round here no more
And I'm not really happy about this
He thinks I'm a manipulative bitch
And that's fine
I know he'll be wonderful to and for
Whomever he meets
Someone stronger then me
Who can love him fully
Instead of partially
Because instead of falling in love
They will already be there for him
Fully and completely
Honestly and openly
And that's something I couldn't give
To the person I loved the most
And now have to fix
To give it to two people
Or even another
Is just too hard
And I'm too weak
And he's not going to be stopping by
Checking in
Singing with me
No more
Invisible
Traveling forth
At high rate speeds
Ghost girl
I can sense
Your hand and lips
Touching my feet
Faces moving in time
With and undercurrent beat
That ignores my legs
And plucks at the violin
Like the ghost girl
Playing my heart
How can you talk of needing it
When it was you who first denied it?
The distance was never the problem
But you needed a scapegoat
When she called because she needed you
Were you tired?
Were you sick?
All of these and more.
But you cry for your not needed.
And who can you depend on?
And where is your left arm that was so painfully ripped from your shoulder blade?
Point fingers
make it their faults
But you've never grown apart
Over the years
Still growing together
Filling out quite nicely
But how do you tell your left arm you still need it
When you've learned to get by for so long with out?
On your own.
Making yourself all alone.
Because that's how you work
Compromise with out compromising
But that's how you fucking work
And you've heard that line out of the mouths of others
But still you say it
That's how I work
And that's who I am
And you can never, ever change,
destroy, mangle, take away, remove,
What is me
When you've denied parts of yourself
For so long
You come here
Looking for something
I never planned on giving
Sisterhood
Brotherhood
As if this is a family thing
Where we speak and tell
And cling
And know
This is what is happening
This is what goes on
This is what I feel and think
And I don't need you to know
Or understand
And I don't want you to cling to
ever last word that falls
From my tongue
Because none of this is for any of you
I write because it comes
And if you think I care
Think again
Because I'm not here to satiate some need
For you
Alone
I wonder what you look like
Wandering around
Singing to yourself
Out of tune
Alone
Do you look just like me?
Uncomfortable in your own skin
Pondering your existance
As if it weren't really your's to have
Together
Time stops
Like that time you put your foot to the door
But I don't know if you remember
I'd like to blend into the walls
And truly fade away
So I could watch you
Alone
So it'd be just you
Alone
And I could watch your beauty magnified
She said
I hate the way you have to have them
The amount of time and space they waste
I hate the way the human language dictates such simple things
So I typed this up for her
With out any punctuation at all
Exactly as she would have said it
With out any grammatical function
No starts or stops
Just lots of pauses
For moments of thinking
Then all the rambling words that go into a big jumble together
Not exactly saying one thing
Just a lot at once
All because she didn't like
Quotation marks
Little fifties pin up girl
Bust nearly the size of the times
Waist so tiny
Held in place by strings
Hair dark as midnight
Ringlet after ringlet
With that come hither smile
You're every man's dream
And any man's fantasy
Come alive
How can you be real?
We wondered
And now we think you're fat
But little fifties pin up girl
You're behind your times
And the Goths love you
Adore you, dream of being you
And you want to be you too
But all you can ever truly be is a fifties pin up girl
With your breasts you wouldn't call big
Just heavy
And hips made perfect size for hands to grasp
And pull
And thrust
Your waist one hand could nearly fit around
And they do
Because they love you
And what you can be
In leopard print, leather, satin, silks, feathers, fur...
Everything a luxury with you
A perfect face made porcelain smooth
By too much make up
Lips so red
Eyes so perfectly lined black
So dark against the bone shadow worn from lid to brow
Ah fifties pin up girl
How forgotten you seem
In this technological era where tiny is the lay of the land
Tiny breasts, tiny waists, tiny thighs
But some of us still dream of you
And the voluptuous dream you bring
The little fifties pin up girl
Turn your head
And I'm gone
Disappeared in a flash of
ribbons, feathers, and bells
To return to you
When the time is right
To be near you
When your need is the greatest
For never is a long time
And I don't have all that long
So, I shall return to you
When you reach our your hand
Or call out my name
And need me there
I will be there
As quickly as I left
In a blink of an eye
Papers rustle
Clank!
Damned bongos
You stand on stage
Facing your audience
Speaking of the tragedies
That life will never change
That you will never change
And your audience comes
Deep, deep inside
Comes
Because they need more
Comes because they can
FEEL IT
Comes
Because they need to connect
It's like a fix for the 90's
The new millenium
They need a fix of your emotions
