Siouxsie and the Banshees
REVIEWS
- ONCE UPON A TIME-THE SINGLES
ONCE UPON A TIME-THE SINGLES, (1981)
Rating: 10
Best Songs-Arabian Nights
Worst Song-NONE
Written by Neal Grosvenor
Once upon a time a 12 year old boy named Neal rode the subway to school. His
stuffy private school uniform irritated him. Pine green and cherry red - these
were the ridiculous school colours, jacket and tie respectively.
Across from Neal sat an older girl with spiky hair, black eye liner and a
beautiful face permanently frozen into a scowl. Neal noticed "Siouxsie and the
Banshees" drawn in black marker on her knapsack. Neal had "Bon Jovi" drawn on
his, although he was thinking of writing over it. He suspected people were
laughing at him behind his back.
Neal hated his new school. The Christian brothers beat them and made them say
the rosary. He concentrated on the punk girl. She was pretty. He decided that he
loved her. He started to feel funny down in his crotch. Uh-oh, he thought, the
priests tell us this is bad. He put his knapsack on his lap and gave the girl a
nervous smile. She rolled her eyes. He kept smiling. She finally got off at her
stop, stopping to give him the finger through the window of the closed doors.
The train pulled away from her sulking along on the platform.
That same girl now sits at a desk, in front of a computer at her dead end office
job. She worries about her mortgage and credit card debts, and whether her
husband is having an affair like that bastard on "Sex In The City". Her punk
rock days are forgotten and far behind her. She hums along to REO Speedwagon on
the radio.
Meanwhile, Neal sits in his house surrounded by hundreds of records and empty
lager cans. He marvels how great this collection is, so great in fact that he
will have a party with normal friends and his weird friends, and most
importantly, his goth friends. They will all have a great time and Neal will put
on this album.
Neal thinks of many things, but first and foremost he believes the album
deserves a big fat ten! But Neal also thinks other random thoughts such as: is
Spam made from actual human body parts? or why does it burn when I pee? He still
often feels funny down in his crotch, usually when thoughts of Kirsten Dunst
enter his mind. He has long since abandoned any ties to the Catholic faith,
expect the occasional bout of guilt and desire to read a Graham Greene novel.
But seriously friends, this is a great collection and intro to the notorious
world of these art punkers and goths extrordinaire. It's perfect, short, sweet,
and bashed out in just over half an hour. My first impression was that it was
too brittle, not funky enough, but what the hell?? I don't think James Brown is
going to cover one of their tunes anytime soon and if he does, you can bet HE'LL
make it funky.
It must have been an exciting time to live in England when these songs were on
the radio especially when people like Robbie Williams rule the airwaves now. I
won't bore you with describing the actual songs, although when I did hear "Happy
House" on the radio a long time ago, I actually thought it was Bjork or the
Sugarcubes. Silly me. Although, their influence is undeniable from everyone to
the Jesus and Mary Chain, Lush, Cocteaus, PJ Harvey (she says Captain Beefheart
is a big influence, but she sure sounds a LOT like Siouxsie Sioux sometimes).
By the way, you're invited to my party. Bring your own absinthe!
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