The Muffs
REVIEWS
THE MUFFS, (1993)
Rating: 8
Best Song- Baby Go Round
Worst Song- All For Nothing
Written by Neal Grosvenor
I kid you not I found this album in a "clearance crate" at my local used record
shop for one dollar. One dollar!!! You can't even buy a coffee for that these
days. Is that any really way to treat one of the most unhearaled garage/pop/punk
bands of the 90s? "They don't sell here" the somewhat smug employee told me.
Well of course they don't I thought, when half your clients are coked up balding
hippies looking for that awesome demo of Jerry Garcia farting on his deathbed
solos to what could've been new Grateful Dead songs. It's always disheartening
to find one of your favourite bands in a delete bin with the obvious other
Mariah Carey and Matchbox 20 discs as well. I mean, why do people even bother
buying Matchbox 20 albums if they're just going to sell them later? Talk about
your backlog of albums. But anyways, there's no use taking it personally. I'm
probably just bitter that I paid full price for it a few years back (the Muffs
album that is...Matchbox 20 are tossers).
Formed out of the ashes of the LA garage band The Pandoras, lead screamer and
songwriter Kim Shattuck found another outlet for her fuzz drenched melodies in
this early incarnation of the Muffs. Their sound is basically a spirited cross
between the Go-Gos and The Ramones, and Shattuck really shows a knack for good
old fashioned songwriting dressed in a pop/garage disguise. You can tell that
she has studied her garage rawk 101, as in several interviews she praised the
merits of lesser known heroes such as the Fallouts, the Pagans, and early new
wavers The Beat (of whom the Muffs do a smashing cover of "Rock And Roll Girl"
on a "violence against women" benefit compilation which name escapes me at the
moment). Conversely, the Muffs did rock out quite a bit and had quite a
ferocious live reputation. As many bands did, they toured the sometimes seedy
but always interesting LA circuit, forming alliances and friends with like
minded bands such as Redd Kross and Green Day, not to ment
ion C.C. Deville of hair-metallers Poison. Expect his input on future releases,
in between Poison reuion tours of course. Christ, that's a scary thought!
The music on this debut doesn't really sound dated ten years down the road. If
anything, it sounds more relevent today amongst the apparent garage rock revival
and back to basics raunchy sounding rock and roll. Back in 1993 when Pearl Jam's
Eddie Vedder was starting to sound like Foghorn Leghorn and Kurt Cobain was
contemplating buying bullets for his guns, the Muffs were content to play
"faster and louder" the legendary punkers the Dictators put it. Any comparisons
between Kim Shattuck and Courtney Love should be put to rest now. Kim has
talent, Courtney does not...end of story.
"Lucky Guy" starts the album and is average...it has the feel of a big rock
song. Big sounding drums, grand sounding guitars, big everything, until we're
led into the "catch me if you can" feel of the irresistible "Saying Goodbye".
It's always said that if an artist and songwriter can write songs beyond he or
her scope it's a good thing. Writing within your scope can often produce boring
results (has anyone heard of Creed...good example right there). I sense that on
this song as the band pounds away with abandon. "Everywhere I Go" I believe was
used in a commercial, but fucked if I can remember where. It's kind of an
annoying melody, but like say Andy Partridge of XTC or the Buzzcocks' Pete
Shelley, Shattuck writes melodies that permanently lodge themselves into your
brain, like them or not.
"Better Than Me" is an inspiring angry screamfest, the kind of song that gives
you laryngitis in the morning, but well worth the performance. Hello, what's
this though?? "From Your Girl" is a blast and reveals Kim's either voluntary or
involuntary debt to old Brill Building songwriting. Phil Spector house band the
Crystals could have sung the exquisite verse of "please don't walk away from
your girl". Wonderful stuff. Had Shattuck been born 20 years earlier, she
could've got a job working at the Brill Building and kicked Carole King's ass.
The same classic songwriting vibe is apparent in "Baby Go Round", although the
second half of the album kicks into a playful, sometimes pissed off vibe with
rockers like "Big Mouth" and "Stupid Jerk". "I Need You" sounds like old heavy
metal, but I like it anyway. It totally succumbs to a Sonic Youth type wall of
noise, but I'll take that as an added bonus.
This album is about as fun as a bottle of dark ale and a bag of red licorice
allsorts with your sort of punk rock girlfriend who beats you up from time but
she really loves you. It's got attitude, songwriting and major RAWK baby!!
Mail your comments and reviews!
BLONDER AND BLONDER, 1995
Best Song-Laying On A Bed Of Roses
Worst Song-I'm Confused
Overall Rating-9
Written by Neal Grosvenor
I tried to get my friend into the Muffs once, and taped her
a ton of Muffs songs. She thought some of them were cute but said "god, they
must be lesbians with a name like that". She also thought that Kim Shattuck's
voice sounded like a little boy's, which is weird, since Julianna Hatfield
and countless other cutesy girl singers have perfected that "little girl"
sounding voice, which probably started with Betty Boo way back in the 30s
and 40s. But to be a woman in her 20s sounding like a little boy? Well, upon
closer listening of her in certain songs, she does have a kind of "boy who
hasn't quite yet reached puberty" sound in her voice. But oh well, with this
album, I'm not sure how popular the band was in certain lesbian circles, but
I'm sure Shattuck gained some notariety with certain dykes cause she was one
tough chick. I personally find her attractive though, and not cause I'm normally
attracted to girls who could potentially give me a beating. Perhaps I'm just
attracted to the artist/songwriter, not the person.
So anyway, this remains the Muffs most popular album and consistently listenable
one as well. I'm not sure if the title Blonder and Blonder is some wonky referrence
to Dylan's Blonde on Blonde, but Kim does appear to have a new bleach job
on the cover. The album's momentum just doesn't let up, and I find that as
a whole, this is one big adrenaline rush. To dispel the myth that the band
were a bunch of crazy dykes, they were promptly reduced to a power trio, adding
former Redd Kross drummer Roy MacDonald. Trusty Ronnie Barrett still remained
bassist and the in house joker. Seriously, I really like this guy, I think
he'd be someone who'd be cool to hang out with, although judging by some of
the concert footage pictures and other stuff on their website, he always seems
to get injured at some point, much to the amusement of the rest of the band.
Falling off stages, getting stuff thrown at him, getting beer poured on him
and having seriously disgusting stuff done to him while he's asleep...you
name it...it's all documented in the Muffs photo archive.
Being buddies with Green Day, the Muffs started to share the same producer
at this point. Rob Cavallo is pretty good, although I blame him for being
indirectly responsible for much of the mediocre mall punk bands such as Good
Charlotte who've copped his production techniques. "Agony" starts the album
in a buzzing Ramones type fashion with more window breaking screaming from
Kim. Not to continue the lesbian theme of this review (cause you know what
my dirty little hetero mind is thinking anyway), but "Oh Nina" is a bloody
amazing tune. It's jumpy and rattles off the most simplistic childish rhymes
like "oh nina, from Pasedena, she was a queer and you know she really wanted
you". Anyway, the song's inherent theme of sexual confusion is pretty funny.
"On and On" continues Shattuck's streak of great Spectorish songwriting. I
know Billie Joe from Green Day wrote some new tunes for the Go-Gos comeback
album, but the band should've asked Kim as well. She would have been perfect
for the job.
"Sad Tomorrow" is probably a song that Courtney Love wishes she could've written,
but the melody is downright brilliant. There is a short story about the bands'
confrontation with Love, but I'll save that for the review of "Hamburger",
the Muffs' b-sides and covers compilation. "Red Eyed Troll" is an old fashioned
sounding garage type tune, twangy guitars and all. This may have exposed the
band to more people, as it was included on a soundtrack, but again, I can't
seem to remember which one. "Laying On A Bed Of Roses" is my ABSOLUTE favourite
Muffs tune. Why? I think because of the ripping energy on the track. It sure
as hell sounds like a "one take wonder" as there would be no way they'd be
able to capture the same energy had they recorded a hundred more versions
of the same tune. Think Keith Richards' riffing sped up, Joey Ramone's dumbass
lyrics and Kurt Cobain diving into a drumkit and these are the necessary visuals
for listening to the song (plus something being poured or puked on bassist
Barrett as well...poor guy). "I Need A Face" is another screamer and "Won't
Come Out To Play" sounds like a kid's song. Kim irresistably sounds like the
kid who sneered "nyahh nyahh nyahh nyahh nyahhh" at you and then stuck out
her tongue in fourth grade.
Good stuff this one, and a great starting point if you're a newbie. It was
my starting point and back then took me totally by surprise.
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, 1997
Best Songs-Keep Holding Me, The Best Time Around
Worst Song-Pennywhore
Overall Rating-7.5
Written by Neal Grosvenor
That has got to be the most depressing song to sing to yourself
by yourself. I get flashes of someone being drunk out of his or her mind singing
this song and finally falling face first into a store bought cake with no
real discernable writing to indicate a birthday celebration. This has never
happened to me (really!) but it is a strange motif to base an album on. Pictures
on the inside sleeve of the album show Kim in front of a huge cake with candles,
or her and the rest of the pigging out on what looks like a good old American
hearty artery clogging breakfast. The 1997 version of the Muffs (Roy, Ronnie,
Kim), which is the same as the current lineup, seems to boast a camraderie
that is enviable. I know if I were in a band, I'd want people that I could
goof around with and all that, especially since these are the people you spend
most of your time with. Most of you who are or who've been in bands have probably
already experienced this. And more importantly, The Muffs probabl y didn't
have much money so were staying on people's floors or cheesy hotel rooms,
while their buddies in Green Day were probably getting loaded on champagne
and throwing t.v.s out of expensive hotel rooms.
For all their camraderie (which really isn't like the Monkees, but then again,
the Monkees were totally contrived) it seemed at this point that Kim called
most of the shots, being the one who wrote all the songs. I wouldn't put it
past her to be somewhat of a control freak at times, but when it's your songs
the band is toying with, it makes sense I suppose. Anyway, in 1997 "Muffsmania"
hadn't quite swept the world. They perhaps were most famous for their cover
of the old Kim Wylde (remember her? I don't..) song "Kids In America" on the
soundtrack for the teen film Clueless. Incidentally, I was watching a rerun
for the Clueless spin off t.v. show one day, and lo and behold saw the Muffs
in one of the scenes, which featured them at some kind of school dance. I
guess they needed the money or something. Reprise booted them off the label
after this album, which sold the worst out of all their records.
Initially, I didn't really like it because it didn't punch me in the head
like the previous one. You know, it didn't really have that instant momentum
going, but after a few more listens, I began to see that Kim was attempting
to expand her songwriting (i.e. instead of three chord blasters, we're talking
four chords...getting into major prog territory Kim!!!) The band seemed in
tip top shape, roaring along as usual. Right before one of the tracks you
can hear one of the recording engineers jokingly (or maybe not so jokingly)
accusing either Ronnie or Roy of being "old and lazy" to which he responds
"what the hell are you talking about?? I'm ready to bang this whole record
out right now!!" to which the engineer again mutters "old and lazy..." Kim
sounds kind of weary on certain tracks such as "Is It All Okay", and it's
hard to tell whether this is a result of her writing songs beyond her range,
or that she's just feeling the results of screaming too much. Whatever the
case, he r voice is reduced to actually singing on the record, with the occasional
shriek here and there.
The first two tracks "Crush Me" and "That Awful Man" start off quite nicely
and could be a continuation of the last record. Actually, come to think of
it, Kim writes a lot of songs about "awful men". Are we that bad Kim? Actually
don't answer that... "All Blue Baby" is more classic old fashioned songwriting
that wouldn't sound out of place on a Darlene Love of Lesley Gore record.
"Pennywhore" is kind of a silly acoustic number that best should have been
left as a b-side. "Outer Space" is so simple you could teach the chord changes
to a five year old, but a cool song nonetheless.
"I'm A Dick" is hilarious, and I finally figured out what the lyrics mean.
At first with her singing "I'm A Dick" I thought she was referring to HER,
but she's actually referring to the male organ to which "she couldn't care
less". She actually sings from a penis' point of view. Now that line renders
The Muffs anything BUT "cock rock". Anyway, I'll save the deeper lyric examinations
for my Neil Peart and Rush reviews but I think I'll have to dig to find the
humour in Peart's "poetry". Speaking of lyric analysis, "You And Your Parrot"
is a catchy tune but fucked if I understand what the hell the lyrics mean.
"Keep Holding Me", however, is as close to a love song that the ultra sarcastic
Kim will ever write. I guarantee that. So that song combined with "The Best
Time Around" are my two favourite tracks on the album, and it's always great
to have two great songs to close an album.
So not much changed here, but remember that it's a grower. It'll catch up
on you eventually. The Muffs just couldn't be bothered screwing with their
winning formula. It definitely worked for the Ramones.
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ALERT TODAY, ALIVE TOMORROW (1999)
Best Songs-Blow Your Mind, Silly People
Worst Song-Dear Liar Love Me
Overall Rating-6.5
Written by Neal Grosvenor
Man, I really wanted to like this album and was totally looking
forward to it, but The Muff kids seemed to be running out of steam or ideas
or something here. A change in record labels at least freed them of Reprise's
expectations, but their sound here was starting to sound worn out. Things
start to slow down too. Don't you just hate it when your favourite punk band
starts to "slow down"? I thought the whole idea was to play fast, you know,
bash those songs out like you didn't give a fuck. I know, I hated it when
Green Day started to write ballads...and I know...I know..Green Day or The
Muffs aren't REAL punk in the classic sense, but it still irritates me. The
Sex Pistols would've written ballads to piss people off, not to try to be
"earnest" or anything.
Anyway, there are some cool songs here, but Kim seems to be forcing the songwriting
and not letting things come naturally. If she were to read this she probably
come over to my house and kick my skinny white ass..."I'll show you what's
forced you little shit!". But it's true. Didja hear how strained Noel Gallagher
sounded on Oasis' "Standing On The Shoulders Of Giants"? If this were the
first Muffs album you were to hear, you would'nt think much was wrong, but
given some context, you'd realize that this is pretty much a half-hearted
effort. It was expensive too. Try finding this in a delete bin I dare you!!
I'd never even heard of Honest Don's record label until I bought this album
for a mere 25.99. Hey Muffs, if you're reading this...that's how dedicated
a fan I am..25.99!!! And probably the only copy sold in Toronto too. Who the
fuck is Honest Don?? Oh well, I'm not an indie fascist so I'll save that discussion
for another time.
"I Wish That I Could Be You" starts things off nice and fast but Roy sounds
like he has diarrea playing the drums. I'm not saying that the Muffs normally
funk things up like James Brown, but man, something is off in his playing.
It sounds like he either wants to rush to the toilet or is so hungry he wants
to finish the track and get to the buffet table. "Silly People" sounds great
after a few listens. Pretty simple riff, classic Kim snideness. "Your Kiss"
is another love song...or sort of...wow...Kim must have been smitten over
something to write this. It's sweet though, and I'm all for her writing melodic
love songs, but everything still sounds strained. "Numb" and "Blow Your Mind"
rock pretty hard, but the album closes with a crappy acoustic number, "Jack
Champagne", that made ME want to run for the buffet table and eat all my sorrows
away.
So there is quantity and quality, Big Boy's and a Five Star Restaurant know
for its exquisite fine dining. The Muffs straddle the line between both, but
the trio are still a class act despite this mediocre album.
Mail your comments and reviews!
HAMBURGER (2000)
Best Songs-Become Undone, Brand New Chevy
Worst Song-Happening
Overall Rating-9
Written by Neal Grosvenor
Mmmmm...hamburgers...yum yum. I love them just in case anyone thinks I'm a
sensitive new age dude who proudly announces at parties that he's a vegan. So
for all you vegans reading this: imagine me biting into a nice juicy
hamburger....mmmmmm. Lately, New Yorkers as usual are finding the trendiness in
the apparently not-so-trendy, and I'm hearing that certain Manhattan bistros are
serving hamburgers for like, seventy bucks or something insane like that.
They're dubbed "gourmet" hamburgers and garnished with truffles and other stuff
that never should be near a hamburger. God, you Manhattanites are ever so
ironic!! What next? Hot dogs? Corn Dogs? Gourmet Nachos? Anyway, I mention New
York because it's where I found this last collection of songs from the Muffs. I
was digging away in one of those "budget" shops with cranky employees who know
nothing about music apart from whatever is "bling bling" at the moment, when I
spot this. What the hell? I thought. 30 songs, most of them I
didn't recognize, an incomprensible (but delicious) title, and an equally
incomprehensible cover of a lovestruck boy fainting at the sight of the object
of his affection. It was cheap. I bought it. And after sticking it in my
discman, skipped down 5th or 4th or whatever fucking numbered street I was on,
delighted at finding this awesome disc. Bling-bling!!
It's 2003 now and all is really quiet in Camp Muffs. From what I've read on
their website, Kim is in a side project band, and christ if I know what Roy and
Ronnie are doing. Even if they decided to break up now, I know they could at
least say "at least we had the 1990s" just how say, the Go-Gos could say "at
least we had the 1980s". And while "Hamburger" is not a best of, it is a raw and
lovingly put together collection of bsides and covers and chronologically
documents the Muffs rise to well...nowhere, or at least the point they were at
in 1999. There is hilarious song by song commentary, such as a suspect incident
in which Kim stuck her finger up her ass and put it under a dozing A&R dude's
nose at the record company office. "Nobody falls asleep on me" she bluntly
stated. Classic. The covers dazzle, since most are from obscure garage bands,
with the odd surprise such as Elvis Costello's "No Action", which is actually
pretty true to the original.
The first three songs were recorded at a cheap LA studio in the early 90s, and
the band is visibly disappointed with the outcome of the recordings. "Get Me Out
Of Here" is fun, but kind of annoying after subsequent listens. "You Can Cry If
You Want" and "Brand New Chevy" are way better. The latter is a fine Troggs
cover that reveals the older bands which eventually influenced Kim's own
songwriting. I just wish the sound was fuller, but perhaps they didn't have the
money at this point. "Brand New Chevy" is a cover by an obscure band called The
Devil Dogs and is a real scorcher. Given the cheap recording atmosphere, it
sounds like a live track and a definite one take number, because this rocks and
eventually collapses under its own weight. This song would be a good choice for
a set closer, not unlike say, Nirvana's infamously destructive "Endless
Nameless".
Other highlights on the first half of the album include "Guilty", which
apparently was a big hit on Australian radio but nowhere else. An orphan track
with no real album to call its own, it has them sounding very much like the
Ramones. "Beat Your Heart Out" is a roaring cover of a song by Spanish Elvis
impersonator El Vez. Again, this is heavy Ramones-sounding territory. "Love" is
not a song, but a rambling answering machine message from Ms Hole herself
Courtney Love. From what I gather, she's pissed about a stolen dress or
something. Really strange. "Rock And Roll Girl" I'd already heard before, but
think is one of the band's finest covers. I'd never heard of the Beat before
either, but apparently their new wave career was a short one.
The second half kind of slows down a bit, just I guess, like the band in
general. Most of the bsides were left off "Blonder and Blonder" and "Happy
Birthday To Me", although the covers are still interesting and sometimes
baffling like "Pacer" the Amps songs by former Breeder/Pixie Kim Deal. There's a
Small Faces cover too and "My Mind's Eye", Kim admits, is really the only Small
Faces song that she likes. THAT kind of surprised me. "Nothing For Me" was
included on some Christmas compilation and is a typical punk rock ode to the
Xmas season, as the singer laments that she looked around the tree but there was
"nothing for me". Awwww...sniff. "Become Undone" was incomprehensibly left off
Blonder and Blonder, but why I can't say. It would have been a perfect choice
for a single. Exhaustingly, the collection closes with a energetic retarded
sounding number called "Do The Robot" with lead vocals courtesy of early
guitarist Chris Crass. It's hilarious, although you can tell it's the
band just fucking around in concert. Chris sounds so drunk that he forgets the
words throughout the second half of the song, but that's rock and roll for you
kids.
So, at over 75 minutes, this compilation is well worth the price, even though
listening to it can be exhausting. Best to separate the bsides and covers by
programming your cd player. That way it'll make a whole lot more sense.
Mail your comments and reviews!