Fayaway & Hermester's Page
of Found Poetry
Fay & I frequently visit Malibu Creek State Park, and during a number of sojourns we have found scraps of paper with verse written on them scattered among the fallen leaves of a sycamore there. We were told by one of the rangers there it was probably written by a unique individual known as the Malibu Lake Angel, a man who lives naturally among the canyons here. Here are a few of his efforts; we will post more as they come to light. Enjoy!
Untitled
(This first one was found wrapped around a trout with a cigarette stuck in its mouth--perhaps a social statement of some kind.)
Fosworth Frog Sings-
Dear Bella's Been Found!
In a Pond Near The Pound!
Those fishies' no longer Blue!
So Happy Birthday to you!
Freddie Flounder Has Found
Bella in a Pond Pound!
She was drunkin', Tis True
Happy Birthday To you!
She is Healthy, Hoo-Ray!
Swimming 'Neath Gamma-Rays!
Dearest Bella's Been Found
ETC...ETC...
Untitled
Kurt was a lad with long curls
Who was always chasing the girls
When finally he caught one
She said "I'm not one!
My name is Harold--let's whirl!"
Untitled
Mr. Monkey Dance
Has hands in his pants
Who'se hands are those?
Nobody knows
Because their cut off
At the elbows!
Untitled
It's ok
Have a nice day
Because Fred and Ted
Are in bed with Ned
Where are the keys?
We don't have the keys!
But it's ok
Because we have the trees!
"Square Dance"
Put your hands on your head
And rip off your ears
And throw them at your part-ner!
Untitled
What's blue and white and disappears? (See other side)
Turn right three times to find out!
(Fay and I followed the instructions, but the only thing we found that might have inspired this riddle was a junked out VW pickup).
(Like the earlier Bella poem, found in February of 2005, this one--found February of the following year--was wrapped around a fish, this time with a container of Skoal forced into her mouth. It reminded me of those TV spots in which the tobacco producers were reeling in young smokers like fish. And there is no doubt about the social commentary in this case.)
Dear Bella is high
after playing Jai-Lai
In a lake near the zoo,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
She scored her first goal
Cuz she smoked, not chewed Skoal's
She smoked weed, tis so true,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
No more debutante days
Now she prays to Pel�,
She's a hippie dressed in blue,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
Bush said "Bella's bad, full of sin,"
She flipped him off with her fin,
"Fascist Prez, Screweth You,"
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
We partied throughout night and day,
What a babe, that Pel�!
Drinkin' Coconut Juice,
AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BIRTHDAY, BIRTHDAY,
TO YOOOOOOOOUZ!
Apparently the Malibu Angel travels about frequently or is a franchise operation, because this poem, remarkably similar in spirit and content, was found at the Fullerton Arboretum by myself and my publisher, Kurt Brown. It was written on a sheet torn from a Mead lined paper tablet in handwriting very similar to that on the sheets of paper Fay and I have found in Malibu Creek State Park.
Marcus At The Arboretum
Alternate Title:
The Most Absurd Crap I've Ever Written
I got out of Dodge
But not before
the dawning of my soul
Shot my ego in two,
Tearing my martial artist away
From the arms
of my Native American.
I become the seeker of the tree
Hark!
The Protozoologist Arrives
He justifies my spiritual assumptions,
He confirms our past encounter,
Though perhaps he wishes to forget
The image of Theseus� superior blond foe
Is branded onto the breastplate of Hermes
And that grappler on his chest
laughs heartily at the sight
Of my arms around my maiden,
For he knows,
Tis temporary,
and
I will soon embrace only air.
Why has my paternal source
bolted the gate
shut?
�It matters not,�
So said The Protozoologist and his friend,
�for you shall seek refuge,
And attain peace,
By dwelling
In the nest
Of your mother's
one-bedroom
apartment
For eternity."
Fay and I found this riddle poem tucked under the foot of the impressive T.Rex vs. Tricerotops display at the L.A. County Museum of Natural History, on a scrap of paper taken from Bakker's Dinosaur Heresies. The handwriting was identical to that of the Malibu Lake Angel, so we can only assume that he is well-read, interested in the dino/bird debate, and visits museums.
Chew on this...
If:
Some Dino's have feathers
and
Dinos don't fly
and
Ostriches are flightless birds
Then
Ostriches are Dinos!!!
now
Some pillows have feathers
My pillows don't fly.
Therefore:
My pillows are dinos!
and
if I drilled holes in my dinos, they would be faster
because
their lighter
I'd just thought I would share that with you
� 2007 Hermester Barrington
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