Tracy
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Ever After
By Tracy Thurman
Summary: The happy ending I still want for J/C
Author's note: Okay, warning, high sap content ahead! If you are the least diabetic or glucose intolerant STAY AWAY! In all seriousness, this is sort of my knee-jerk reaction to all the depressing J/C lately. I know we don't have much hope left, but I still want a happy ending for these two. Got the idea for this while taking care of a friend's daughter for her.
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Kathryn leaned her head back with a sigh, gently rocking back and forth in the big chair on porch of the cabin. It was so beautiful here this time of the morning. The sunlight slanted through the leaves of the forest trees, the birds twittered in their branches. It had rained in the night, and raindrops dripped lazily to the ground. The forest smelled wonderful this morning. A slightly spicy, sweet scent accompanied the loamy smell of damp earth.
She took another sip from her cup, enjoying the contrasting temperature of the coffee and the cool morning air on her face. Earth. Even after being home all this time she still marvelled at the fact that they were home. Still marvelled at how much life had changed for her since the return.
"Mommy?" a quiet voice came from within the cabin.
Kathryn turned to see a small, sleepy figure in pink pajamas standing at the screen door.
"Good morning, sweetie. Would you like to come outside with me?
Lanarra, rubbed a sleepy hand over her face and nodded, but remained standing where she was. Kathryn smiled and put her cup aside. Lanie often had trouble shaking off sleep. Just like her father.
Kathryn rose and pulled open the screen door, lifting her daughter into her arms. Lanie put an arm around her mother's neck and lay her head on Kathryn's shoulder.
Returning to the rocker, Kathryn gently stroked her daughter's hair and rocked her slowly. It was rare these days to get a chance to cuddle Lanie like this. As soon as she awoke fully she'd be off and running. Kathryn kissed her head and rubbed her back gently.
Stroking the soft, baby curls at her neck, Kathryn reflected that Lanie had inherited her father's darker hair, but it was softened by a reddish tint as well. She had skin darker than Kathryn's, but not quite as coppery as Chakotay's, although her time in the sun had darkened it a bit. Her eyes were a hazel color, a combination, Kathryn suspected, of Chakotay's dark brown eyes and her own blue. A perfect little person who was a combination of her mother and father. All in all, She was absolutely beautiful, in her mother's not-so-unbiased opinion, and she was getting to be so big. She'd grown so much just in the last few months, and to think she was going to be two years old in just about six weeks. Where had the time gone?
It seemed like just yesterday it had been Kathryn and this child, yet to be born, against the world.
"Lanie, do you want some juice?" No answer. She could hear Lanie breathing deeply, still half asleep. Lanie rubbed a thumb gently back and forth across her mother's arm, not quite aware of what she was doing, not quite in the land of the living yet.
In an attempt to awaken Lanie, Kathryn suggested, "Let's sing shall we? What shall we sing?"
After a moment Lanie murmured, "Star."
"Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star?"
"Mmm hmm."
"Okay, here we go." The singing consisted mostly of Kathryn singing alone, with an occasional "Star" or "twinka" coming from Lanie.
As they finished, a sharp tapping noise echoed through the woods. "Lanie, do you hear that?" Again, no answer. "What is that noise, Lanie?" Providing her own answer, Kathryn whispered, "Is that a woodpecker?"
"W'pecker, " her daughter confirmed quietly.
Kathryn smiled into her daughter's hair. After rocking her a little longer she whispered, "You're not going back to sleep on me, are you?" No answer. "Lanie?"
"Mmm?"
"Just checking." With Lanie's face turned away from her it was hard to tell.
Kathryn continued to rock back and forth, now remembering those months before Lanarra had been born. Voyager had miraculously found a wormhole that lead them back to the far reaches of the Alpha Quadrant. Happiness had turned to despair when the greeting from Start Fleet had also included orders to put all former Maquis crew members under house arrest until 'Fleet vessels could intercept them. Charges were to be brought against them despite their service to Voyager and to Star Fleet.
She had decided that the only thing to be done was to send all Maquis crew members, Chakotay included, into hiding. She ordered them to take the Delta Flyer and run. They would remain in hiding until she could get all this sorted out with Star Fleet HQ.
The difficult part was that she and Chakotay had finally become romantically involved just about a month before they discovered the wormhole. She found that after six years in the DQ she could no longer deny her feelings for Chakotay and had gone to him one morning to discuss it. She didn't leave his quarters for two days.
When she initially proposed the plan to him he had refused to leave her, but she convinced him that he had to lead the former Maquis in her absence. Knowing he, and the others, were safe would allow her to fight for their freedom without worrying about them.
He eventually agreed, then the doctor discovered her pregnancy while doing a routine diagnostic on her. She hadn't been keeping up with her birth-control boosters the way she should have and this pregnancy was totally unexpected and unplanned. She knew Chakotay would refuse to leave her if he knew, so she swore the doctor to secrecy. The doctor protested that as the father, Chakotay had a right to know, but she convinced him that it was for the best that he didn't learn of the baby just yet. She also threatened to shut his program down if he didn't agree.
The day he left had been hard on her. The secret she kept made it all the harder. She wistfully watched some of the crew's rather passionate goodbyes, but was determined to keep it formal between she and Chakotay in front of them. They'd said their goodbyes the night before...and this morning.
She had spoken to each of the Maquis crew members in turn, promising each of them to fight for their freedom. Lastly, she got to Chakotay, and although a great deal of emotion passed between them silently, she held out her hand formally and simply said, "Commander. It's been an honor serving with you". She was happy her voice hadn't cracked.
Chakotay had taken her hand but then shook his head and said softly, "Not good enough, Kathryn," and pulled her into his arms, kissing her passionately.
She could hear the crew whooping and hollering behind them, but returned the kiss nonetheless. When he pulled back slightly he murmured, "I love you, Kathryn Janeway," and she, her voice choked with tears, had told him the same.
The months after that were a long, hard, lonely time. Although she was finally home, Star Fleet refused to budge on the issue of the Maquis. She returned to her quarters every night, weary from the fight, and, with the pregnancy, more easily exhausted than she'd ever been.
She realized that she marked the passing time during those days in relation to her pregnancy. When she thought back to any particular event at that time, it wasn't "four months since they'd returned home" it was "the third month of her pregnancy and the end of her first trimester".
When she was about five months along, she returned home to find a cloaked figure standing in her darkened quarters. Her heart leapt at the thought that it might be Chakotay, but the figure turned to reveal someone quite different.
"Tom! How did you get here?" He'd been in the group that had left with Chakotay.
Tom, in turn was gaping at her in astonishment. She was so used to her condition she almost forgot others knew nothing about it.
"Captain! You, uh, you've....changed."
She smiled at that. "Yes I have, haven't I? Tom, what are you doing here? Where's Chakotay?"
"He, uh, he thought he'd be too easily identified coming near your quarters. They'd be looking for him. He sent this for you." Tom handed her a data padd.
"Thanks. Tom, how is he? How are all the others?"
"Good. Fine. He misses you a lot. Does he...does he know about this?" Tom looked extremely uncomfortable asking.
"No, he has no idea, and you're not to tell him. Promise me."
"Okay. But why?"
"Because we both know he'd try to come back here as soon as he found out, and he can't do that until I've worked things out. Promise me, Tom."
"I promise, I promise, but are you okay?"
"I'm fine. Don't worry about me, just take care of yourselves, okay?"
"Okay. Do you want me to take anything back to him?"
"Oh, yes." She went to get a new data padd and wrote Chakotay a quick note telling him she loved him and missed him and asking him to promise to stay away until things were settled.
Tom surprised her with a hug before he left her, and she went to bed that night and dreamt of Chakotay.
The next day two armed security guards arrived on her door step. Admiral Necheyev was demanding to know the location of the Maquis hiding place. Kathryn truthfully told them that she didn't know where they were, but Star Fleet clearly wasn't buying this. Kathryn was incarcerated "until such time as she reveals the Maquis location".
Well, Star Fleet brigs weren't exactly primitive Russian gulags. She had a comfortable room, a comfortable bed, proper pre-natal medical care, something she'd been rather lax about until then, and they made sure she ate properly and was getting the proper nutrients, something else she hadn't been terribly vigilant about.
She awoke one night, unsure of what had disturbed her. The lights in the outer room were dim and her guard, a nice boy named Ensign Bosworth was nowhere to be seen. She started to sit up to call for him, when the force-field to her cell was suddenly deactivated. Before she could register that fact, Chakotay was suddenly standing in front of her.
"Chako..." before she could finish saying his name he had pulled her into his arms and nearly squeezed the breath from her.
"Why didn't you tell me?" His voice shook with emotion as he spoke.
"Oh, Chakotay. Because you wouldn't have gone if I did."
He pulled back to look into her face. "You're dammed right I wouldn't. When did you know?" He put his hands gently on her protruding stomach, causing a shiver to run through her.
"I found out shortly before you left. How did you find out?"
"Tom came back from his visit to you...."
"He promised me he wouldn't tell!"
"He didn't tell me, he told B'Elanna because he wasn't sure what to do about it. She promised him she wouldn't tell me unless it was absolutely necessary. When she found out you'd been arrested she decided it was "absolutely necessary"."
"You need to get out of here. They'll catch you."
"I will, but this time you're coming with us."
So, she had gone with them, and the baby ended up being born on the Delta Flyer which was docked on a distant moon. Tom and B'Elanna had helped in the delivery as well as Chakotay, of course. Tom suggested the baby be named "Delta", which earned him a look from B'Elanna, but when Lanie's naming ceremony came about she was named "Lanarra Gretchen" after their two mothers.
She'd never forget the sight of Chakotay's face when his daughter was presented to him. He took her in his arms as gently as if she were made of glass, tears running down his face. He adored her from the second she'd been born.
Soon after that the war with the Dominion ended and the question of the Maquis became somewhat moot. She and Chakotay had returned and married, with baby Lanie in attendance, and had taken up residence in the cabin Chakotay had built himself. Life had settled into a peace and happiness. Kathryn marvelled at the thought that she'd gone from commanding a Star ship to a much more settled, quiet life here and found it just as satisfying.
As if on cue, Lanie murmured, "Where Daddy?"
Kathryn smiled. "Daddy's out running."
"Daddy running?"
"Mmm hmm."
Lanie sat up abruptly, cupping Kathryn's face with her little hands. "Juice, Mommy."
"Oh, now you want juice, hmm? Okay." She stood up holding Lanie, then set her on the top step.
"You stay here and keep a look out for Daddy, okay?"
"'Kay, Mommy."
Kathryn was walking back toward the front door with Lanie's orange juice in her hand when she heard her daughter squeal "Daddy!" and saw her go running off the porch as fast as her little legs would carry her. She heard Chakotay voice saying, "There's my girl!" as she pushed open the door. She was just in time to see Chakotay toss Lanie into the air, deftly catching her as she squealed and giggled.
As they approached Kathryn, Lanie put her hands on either side of Chakotay's face and demanded, "Kiss, Daddy!" He obliged by giving her a loud, smoochy kiss that had her giggling again. She turned and pointed at Kathryn. "Daddy, kiss Mommy!"
Chakotay smiled, looking into Kathryn's eyes. "Glad to." As he leaned in toward her, he said softly, "Good Morning, Mommy." And kissed her.
Kathryn squeezed his arm as she pulled back. "Okay you two, inside. Lanie needs her breakfast, and Daddy needs a shower."
"Yes, ma'am." Chakotay made a mock salute as he carried Lanie inside.
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Chakotay came downstairs twenty minutes later rubbing his hair with a towel. Wrapping the towel around his neck he entered the kitchen. Lanie was eating her cereal while Kathryn kept an eagle eye on her from the other side of the table. Lanie was eating on her own now with sometimes mixed results.
Kathryn smiled at him and handed him his tea. "Lanie, tell Daddy what you're going to be pretty soon." Lanie just giggled.
Chakotay eyed Kathryn. "Secrets? You two are keeping secrets from me?"
Kathryn smiled at him. "C'mon Lanie, tell Daddy what you're going to be soon. Remember? You're going to be a big....."
"Big?" Chakotay smiled at Lanie. "A big girl? Nope, that can't be it, you're already a big girl. Hmmm, a big silly? No, I already knew that...."
Giggling Lanie held her ams up and nearly shouted, "No, no, Daddy, BIG SISTER!"
Astonished, Chakotay looked toward Kathryn.
She smiled that crooked, Cheshire Cat smile of hers and said softly, "Surprise, Daddy."
Finis
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