10/11/02

Hello, and welcome to Foamy Fought, Its been a while yadda yadda yadda, I say that every time but now I have something I wish to talk about.

Now for some the height of wit is the Marx Brothers, other Frasier, a ripping good yarn or even for the fruit among us Oscar Wilde. Now however there is a certain section of society who do not find upper class wit amusing, probably because they can't spell upper, class or even wit. There are also those who find even the basic forms of wit unfunny; Bobby Davro, Married With Children etc. But for those who find no other pleasure in life than taking the piss out of those weaker than them there is now a new funny, cool and hip phrase in town, one so funny that every time I see it I want to cry:

Back in the nineties there was a struggling chain of fashion outlets called French Connection. They were struggling, so much in fact that they required a new, hip logo, a re-branding. and in 1998 some twat in marketing came up with FCUK. Someone then came up with the brilliant idea of putting FCUK on a t-shirt. This was at least at first mildly amusing. Then sadly taking that as a basis the company decided to launch a whole range of clothes, shoes, and now even sunglasses all baring that incredibly "funny" logo.

Considered "shocking" you can no longer go into a pub, onto a train or walk in a city centre without seeing some arse with the logo "FCUK". Some of the favorites include "cool as FCUK" & "FCUK me" Now mildly funny at first, four years on and it now for me makes me groan with anger. These arseholes continue to buy these t-shirts thinking that they are cool, but they aren't, once a good idea, now devoid of originality.

You know the type of person who is likely to own one, they have thin pencil like Craig David beards, those silly tea cozy hats, white jeans and most annoying of all they like to wear shirts that are three sizes too small. If they think FCUK t-shirts are going to get them attention then so be it, ok it will be attention but only of the kind that eventually leads to a dam good thrashing.

FCUK are trading on the fact that people mis-read FCUK for FUCK. There  I said it, FUCK. Its not as if the morons who buy the shirts are afraid to say FUCK. God knows out of the seven words they can spell correctly six of them are expletives. Why not just put FUCK on the t-shirt? What gets me even more if the fact that some people are actually offended by the name, which pronounced correctly reads "fuc-uk"

Sadly it seems these morons still think FCUK is the height of wit as the company had an annual turnover of £225 million in the year up to 2002. People are now no longer buying clothes because they do the specific job they were meant for, they are now buying them for a moronic joke that wore out it's welcome two months after it debuted. 

Also fuc-uk are now launching an even less witty drink called FAB. Luckily the FCUK CEO Neil Williams admits that all their products are aimed at the shallow, image obsessed end of the market. Which is bad in that they are doing well and I will probably continue to be haunted by the least funny thing this side of an ITV sitcom until my dying days. But then at least we are re-assured that the fcukwits who think that brand name is funny continue to wash my windows, make glass, repair my car and serve me at McDonalds. They think they are cool to be associated with such a shitty joke, I prefer to call them CNUT's.

And don't get me started on men wearing flip-flops!!!!!!!

Have a Foam Filled Day!

© Paul Hunt 2002