19/05/01

I finished school on Friday and to celebrate me and my chums had a bakery crawl. The rules are you have to buy at least one cake from each bakery on your dinner time route. As usual only two of us obeyed the rules however i must give recognition, as i promised to two outstanding participants who, even though they broke the rules on several occasions still deserve a mention on the website. Barrie Davies for eating more then the duty asked for, 4 cakes and a bacon and egg roll. And Alun Hopkins (Dave Griihl) for showing that he truly is the master.... 1 family sized jumbo Swiss roll in the space of 25 minutes. Before i move onto my rant I'd just like to say that over the 6 years of me going out for dinner many people have joined the regulars (the regulars being me & Rhys Williams) So a big thank you to all that have made dinner times the best part of the school day for 7 years: Rhys Williams, Alun Hopkins, Ben Jones, Greg Smith, Barrie Davies, Chris Jones, James Foale, Adam Moore, Daniel Davies, Greg Chapman (MIA) , Sam Jacobs, Carl Potter, Craig Collins, Garry Watkins  Ian Tomkinson (you randy fucker), Loaf Head, Michael Sage, Gareth Buckle, Steven Grenters, Chris Hughes, Stuart Clatworhty, Little Justin & last but not least Steven Hooker.

So instead of doing paragraph after paragraph on the things that i hate about school, I'll do them in bullet point form (Thanks to I.T. i am now obsessed by bullet points and page breaks and highlighting things in yellow)

MISC

• The fact that i have to get up before 9 a.m. every morning
• The uniform which is very uncomfortable in hot weather

HEADMISTRESS RELATED STUFF

• The fact that the headmistress is obsessed with Drama & music and now gives them special treatment over everything else.
• The fact that the headmistress thinks Media Studies is useless yet makes everyone do Drama.
• When the headmistress failed her Computing course she shut down A' level computing.
• To make more money for the school she opened up a school run ice-cream window putting the ice-cream man who usually waits outside the gates out of business.
• She changed the catering arrangements so that the school run their own catering, thus keeping all profits for the school.
• Forcing year's 7 & 8 to stay in for dinner thus having the use the school's new self-operating kitchens. Then having the cheek to be quoted in the local paper as saying "It's pleasing to see so many children choose to use our new facilities.

THINGS THAT I DON'T KNOW WHO TO BLAME

• Modular A' level courses... THEY SUCK!. In theory they are supposed to make things easier (accumulate grades over two years through a series of exams) But in the end everyone fails and has to sit 4 exams right at the end making it even harder to get good grades.
• AS levels. (HAHA rolls over in laughter) The universities don't like them, their are far too easy and I'm glad i missed them by a year.
• Record Of Achievements. Useless they come in curry house reject menu's. We spend weeks organising them, printing them on special paper and who in hell is going to look at them. To quote some guy in the year above me "Hey i failed my a' levels but al least I've got my ROA"
• The religious biased in schools. After an assembly about how we should treat all religions as equal we get Christian talk no. 367. I beg you ask your school for some other religions to come in and talk to give you a better understanding of which religion (if any) you want to believe.
• "Treat everyone with respect" Yet the older members of the school are still made to feel like children and act like them.
• "no-eating in the library" The teacher who came through eating an apple.
• The careers service: We tell you we want to do something other than factory work and they have a stroke. I ask for Media-type placement for work experience... Placement given: Inland Revenue. ALL OF US DO NOT WISH TO WORK IN AN OFFICE!!!!!!
• Personal & Social Education (PSE) wouldn't mind if it was useful but making us fill in sex-education sheets on our own in silence is why 14 year olds now walk around with a sexual history that would make Hue Hefner give up the day job.
• Physical Education. Useless, i finished school Friday and i have already lost a pound. Of you don't do P.E. in my school you get called "women" and even on one occasion "homosexual" It also doesn't help that when playing team games such as Rugby it always ends up: School Team  V  The people who know how to spell P.E.

MUCKAS

In school these are the fucks who make school shootings a reality.

• They all do GNVQ engineering. (Sorry if i offend anyone)
• The ones who can spell it sometimes do CDT (Chairs, Desks & Tables)
• They spend dinner times pulling wheel spins in their cars that have a sticker on the front window which tells you the make of car for those who can't read the tiny lettering on the back of the car.
• They come into school and go on about how "The new INSERT REPETITIVE SONG/CLUB/ISLAND NAME HERE Anthems CD is BAAANGINGGGGG!!!!!"
• The use words such as Trek in reference to going out for dinner.
• When in the library on computers they type their e-mails into the address bars in Internet Explorer like this "[email protected]"
• If they ever ask "is this computer on the internet?" reply "no it's on the table"
• If you and friends are talking about music in the common room they call rock music "guitar music" as they listen to generic dance song no.156454 by DJ CockKnocker on the mini hi-fi system they brought in from home.
• They are also afraid of facial hair and when they call you  "eader" and you reply "Fuck off" they just make a low grunt as they struggle to come back with a witty retort.

That's pretty much it. Next week I'll do the things that made 7 years of secondary education bearable...just.

Have a Foam Filled Day!

© Paul Hunt 2001