Ok I lied. This column is supposed to be about committees. Well by committee’s I mean school committees and by school committees I mean my school’s committees.

Your catching on quick (especially the people who know me) By My school’s committees I mean my school’s form six ball committees and by that I mean my school’s form six ball. (You didn’t see that one coming did you)

The problem is that in 8-10 school weeks (That is weeks spent actually in school not including weeks spent on holiday e.g. Easter) we finish full time education (wahey!) Well yes and no, yes because I never have to see most (Not all) of those people ever again. And No because of some of the people I happen to know and actually enjoy being in the company of. But mostly Yes. Anyway every year there is a Ball and for this ball there is a committee set up to handle it. Now I’m not saying I hate the committee people themselves but it seems as though the ball is not going to be very exciting. Why? Read below:

The Food – Put simply it sucks

The Music  (Part one)- A Band fair enough I can stand this because I’ve almost come to accept that I’m incredibly funny about my musical tastes (Some would say I’m a music snob)

The Music (Part two) – The DJ, fine if you like 80’s cheese I do. But I’ve been to far too many disco’s to realize that gone are the days when party DJ’s were content with playing Time Warp or Start Trekking across the Universe. Now DJ’s for parties are the Ibiza rejects (They will be documented in the muckadex coming soon)

The Dress Code – Turn up in anything but formal dress and you will be turned away. Why? If I want to make a willy of myself dressing up as anyone ranging from the Honey nut monster to Mrs Robinson I should be able to do so.

And lastly and most damming of all (By the end of this you will probably guess the real reason why I’m writing this):

The Seating arrangements - If you have a committee in school you check out the first draft for the seating arrangements, most committee members will be sitting next to their friends, and it will then go down in order of who they know the best, then there’s me. I’m on, surprise surprise table 7, the last table, if these were days God would have given up on six and slept when he was supposed to be making table seven!!!!!!

I’m on the table with the left over, the people who either have no-one to sit next to, or have simply been forgotten. Don’t worry me and Dave Griihl (who is also on my table) will complain. Because (Here comes the real reason for this) the only way to propel yourself onto a better table is to find (for want of a better word, God forgive me for saying this) a date (cringes at the Americanization of the world). Yep many of my friends have either done the deed and asked out someone with whom they have no interest in what so ever or have actually done the impossible and found themselves a girlfriend (Note from Foamy’s computer: Alert Alert Green Eyed Monster alert!)

It’s not jealousy because I love it when two people get it on in fact I’m one of the only people who doesn’t complain about canoodling in the common room. The fact is in order to get a better seat of table with your friends you have to ask a girl to ‘go with you’ what the hell does that mean? I get the fact that boyfriends and girlfriend sit next to each other but we should not have to be clambering for girls just to sit by our friends.

However such is the hypocrisy of this world I WILL DO THE SAME. Why? Because I’ve come to realize while writing this that I get too much free time and I worry far too much. I guarantee you by the end of this week I would’ve already asked someone to " GO TO THE BALL WITH ME" So that I can sit next to an equally uneasy chum.

It’s seems a good idea for some because some people can use the excuse on a girl they like, "Hey will you go to the ball with me?" What they want to say "Hey will you go to the ball with me? By the way I love you!"

I’m not saying everyone who has done this has asked out the person they like but I bet someone has or will.

I’m going to find someone to go with just so I don’t have to sit next to Mr. Conversation Himself, I’m going to defy my own mixed up and confused thoughts because I want to go to the ball to get drunk, shout at teachers I hate and watch come of my friends make tits of themselves confessing to some girls that they have loved them since they were little but have kept it bottled up until now because they’ll never see each other again. And I'll probably end up going with some very misleading thoughts that I might even get lucky with the person "I take"

Do I have too much spare time? The answer: Most probably, but then again everyone wants to go to the ball, especially as Cinderella……….

From the man who can’t re-record over tapes because he cares too much, the Ninth Wonder…

Have a Foam Filled Day!