20/01/02

Ok, that's it I have had enough! Even if I have to take Prozac i'm going to try and look happy!

Last night for like the millionth time this week someone has called me a depressed looking whore (not entirely their words but apparently I never smile, or look happy) Most people who have commented on my apparent depressed actions all work behind a counter in a post-office, a bank or are just drunk. May I suggest that next time you see me that you remind yourself that I have been forced to get up off my ass to go to the bank for my mother, I am not there on a sunshine trip, I am not there seeking out comedy routines or jest. I am being forced to do menial chores because I don't start at Uni until the 28th! It's not my fault. If you saw me at home I'd be the happiest fucker alive, I do smile! I just don't feel the need to smile when i'm not in a happy mood. In fact if i'm feeling fine, neither happy or sad I'll keep my face straight. I'll be the first to admit that it takes a lot to make me laugh.

Let's face it, the smile is overused in modern society. Despite the way I look, and the stuff I write on the site I am a happy fellow. I do not subscribe to "Teen angst" monthly. If i'm in some danky, karaoke bar having a bad time, i'm not going to make the best of it by pretending to have a good time, i'm either going to leave or sit there pissed off and bored despite that fact that the other patrons of that establishment may think I am being like a certain Smithy type Greg character (a guy who never talks)

However, if I am pissed off it is most likely girl related, which means you could possibly fit me into that whole teen angst section of society, and you can then rightly so call be depressed. But unless i'm really in love with a girl or being but-fucked by my uncle I am not depressed i'm just not laughing my ass off.

I hate living in a society where to be socially accepted most of the time I have to smile. Just because I don't look happy it doesn't mean that i'm not. Just because a guy has one leg it doesn't mean he can't swim, just because I don't have a girlfriend hanging off my huge cock it doesn't mean I like brown trout fishing, just because a guy has long hair it doesn't mean he looks like a lady.

Another thing that people misconceive about me is when someone passes me and they say "alright" and they get no reply. This is not because i'm so depressed I don't like talking, its because I either didn't hear you due to my really bad ears or because I didn't expect you to bother talking to me because I don't smile.

So my kinda late new year resolution (despite what I have just said) is to look happier. And to care less about what people may think. Hopefully this will mean people will stop thinking I am depressed, they may even talk to me, and hey the female population may even feel like making some much needed love to me.

So roll on happiness! And hopefully now my little updates will become happier, and I can concentrate on writing about letterboxes or something in future updates.

Have a Foam Filled Day!

© Paul Hunt 2002