You may have noticed that I haven't been myself recently, I've actually been happy these last few weeks, which in turn means a lot of downtime for the site. But in the last (looks at watch) half an hour I have once again become the pissed off miserable git you all know and love. I'm not going into detail but put it simply the female of the species has something to do with it.

Again I have been knocked back but in a way that makes it all the more difficult. Suffice to say I'm not going near women ever again. Not because they are bitches you understand but because I'm an idiot. I pick the wrong women, they are either not interested in the worst possible way, like to leap off waterfalls two years after having arguments with me or just can't make their minds up.

What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I approach women who are at least comfortable living? Ok so true I have trouble approaching women in general because I'd rather start off as friends first. And after the waterfall incident I'd rather have just sit back and become a monk which I was quite successful at for around almost two years. The waterfall was not of a consequence of anything I did you understand but still I feel guilty. Then sadly I was forced out of my self imposed monk-dom and now I find myself once again batter and bruised while still living I can actually see all of my internal organs on the table in front of me. Suffice to say I'm a little upset.

So I have conducted some searches and the first thing I need to do to become a monk is to contact a bloke called the "Guest Master" and then afterwards I am to get into contact with someone called a "Novice Master". Sounds pretty easy so far.

Of course any of you having doubts right now about my choice let me finalise by telling you why I think I should be a monk.

•    I am already developing the hairstyle
•    I rarely drink
•    I rarely speak, and thus I never have to speak to anyone ever again
•    You have to take a vow of celibacy which suits me fine because of the few women I do meet I seem to manage to pick the wrong ones
•   I'm happy going to bed at 6 p.m. because it saves me having to go out and see happy people.
•   I might actually lose weight on their diet
•   I can already control anger and disappointment having been subjected to it for god knows how long.

Right I'm off, that didn't pick me up as much as I had hoped. I suppose a night of heavy drinking will sort me out.

Have a Foam Filled Day!

© Paul Hunt 2003