Wales, a curious place where there lives a proud people, proud of what I'm not so sure. A place where people will happily send death threats to people who make an off the cuff remark on a comedy programme about the place.

In pubs up and down the Principality of Wales there are people going on about the sanctity of Welsh culture and how the outsiders should either leave or assimilate into the surrounding population. "Struggle", "war" and even "bastion" are words that have been used when describing the "hordes" invading our land.

The people of Wales believe that we stopped the Roman's from invading, that we stopped the Norman conquest, the Vikings, the Saxxons. The only people the Welsh stopped were the Saxxons and that was through an alliance with the Normans (more on that later).

The Celts originated from Europe, as did the English, a small band of settlers "invaded" Wales and taught the Iron Age natives how to speak the Celt language known at "Brythonic" which later mutated into Welsh. One of the main arguments in modern Wales is that the hordes of English are coming to Wales eradicating its culture. So what of the Iron Age culture that existed in Wales before the precious Celt's arrived? Its simply  repetition of what has happened in Wales over the last 2,000 years.

Anyway forward to the Roman's who under the leadership of Emperor Claudius lost to the Celts at first (wait don't start chanting yet) second time they were vanquished. And the Roman's built forts everywhere, the Welsh even adopted the Roman Empire's only religion; Christianity. The Roman's brought with them prosperity, roads and toilets. In fact a few Latin words have now become part of the Welsh language, Pont (bridge), while ffenest (window), pysgod (fish), milltir (mile), melys (sweet or honey), cyllell (knife), ceffyl (horse), perygl (danger), eglwys (church), and many others are attributed to Latin influence.

Ok so "we" as in the Celts invaded Wales, took over then kinda kept the Roman's at bay for a while then let them in anyway. So in the year 383 Magnus Maximus came to Britain and withdrew most of the Roman legions to go and topple Gracian as Emperor of Rome. In Welsh Max is known as Macsen and with his brother Cynan left a bunch of Roman's in Wales to settle and by many he is seen as the father of the Welsh "nation". Oh my god you mean to say Wales was pretty much founded by a greasy Italian? ... Yep!

So the Saxons. Well Rome was conquered by the Goths and the Saxon hordes came to Britain. Wales kept them at bay, well done. Well not quite as sooner or later the Germanic armies settled in Wales too. It was shortly after this that the Welsh Language came to prominence. Our great language is in fact a mish-mash of the ancient languages of the Celts, Saxxons and Romans.

Anyway in 768 after some Welsh cultural and religious development "we" gave it all up and decided to conform with those pesky Roman's and their hip new Catholic buzz. Shortly after that Wales had its first king called Rhodri the great. He held off the Vikings and restricted them to a few ports who now had Nordic names Llandudno (The Great Orme) and Swansea (Sweyn's Eye). When Rhodri died the Welsh asked the English King Alfred for his protection which he gladly accepted. The "Cyfraith Hywe" (Law of Hywell) was established to differ Wales from England. Women had rights first, and rather than the eldest son getting all his father's land and wealth it was shared equally between all of his children. This led to the weakening of Wales as a nation as several kingdoms rose and fell as family squabbles would pull down any sense of power the kingdom once had.

So fast forward to 1066, a few great Welsh rulers have come and gone. And now the Norman's have invaded. William wasn't interested in Wales that much so he gave control to the Marcher Lords who built some splendid Norman castles in Cardiff and Caerphilly among others. Yes you guessed it, that Welsh icon everyone loves to look at on the way back from Cardiff was in fact built by the Normans.

After another few hundred years of Welsh kings reuniting the country then losing to the English Henry VIIIth finally got pissed off when he found out one of his Lords planned to unite Wales so he created the Act of Union and Wales was annexed by England.

In 1603 James the first unified the crowns of Scotland and England and the Welsh folk decided this was a good thing because now we were all united as one country, far more acceptable if the Scottish are in on it too. Anyway the Welsh lived this and loads of the Welsh gentry moved to London.

So for the next 300 hundred years the Welsh culture grew, the poems kept being written the language was spoken here and there. Then coal was found and people from everywhere came and colonised, once again. Just like the Celt's, Roman's and the Normans. Wales became even more prosperous then in the 20th Century everyone left. Well those who had taken what they wanted had left.

Ok so the coal thing we did get raped on. But most of the people who sit in the pubs ranting about how Great Wales is might not even have ancestry from the Celt's who they hold so dear. They could be Roman, Norman hell even Germanic. The fact is people now are complaining about English people invading Wales, people have been invading Wales and settling here for 2,000 years. The Celt's who people believe to be the rightful owners of the country came from Europe and they brought their language with them. What's happening now is just what has happened before. Its called migration and the Human race have been doing it for years.

Now be proud of your country and that I am, the country I said not its inhabitants or its Politics. Despite all the industry Wales is a nice place to live. People are dying to save the language and I guess it should be but it is nothing more than a novelty now. You can't go to France and not speak French because for many there they can't speak English. In Wales you can be successful without ever having to learn Welsh. Language is a mode of communication and there is not one person on this planet who can only speak Welsh and to me that means its end. Most people who rant about being proud of Wales can't even speak the language, if you're that up on being Welsh get off your arse and learn it.

People in Wales like Rugby, a game invented by those pesky English fellows. And hats off to the people who enjoy rugby and support the Wales team because they like rugby. Hats firmly on to those people who support Rugby only when Wales play the "master race" England or any other team. I support Wales in football because I like football, I'm not going out of my way to support my country in a sport I have no interest in.

Anyway to sum up, Wales has been invaded countless times by people who have left settlers, it happened with the Romans, Normans and yes the Celts. People put so much stock in being a Celt that they forget that they once came here too and settled eradicating ancient Iron age culture. Just like those Romans, the Normans and now the hordes of English people I see riding horseback in the sky with a trail of fire behind them. Wales is made up of loads of different cultures, Wales wouldn't be Wales without those precious Celts who came over from Europe, or the Roman's who built roads, toilets and brought religion and civilization to us, or the Normans who built our castles, or the people who came here to dig coal and made settlements previously scarcely inhabited areas of Wales.

You have a right to complain about all the invasions if you were present in Wales circa 500bc when the Celt's first came here. Otherwise you're like me and don't actually care where a person is from, or what country you live in. Don't get me wrong there are jerks in England as there are in Wales (shock horror) there are nationalist jerks all over the World, Germany, the U.S., Australia, Scotland etc etc. But I don't care about the Welsh language I've gotten on fine without it. Don't get me wrong Wales is a nice place to live but people should shut up about being invaded all the god damn time, if you're going to be proud be proud that you don't care where a person is from or what they bring with them as long as it ain't going to kill you. The fact is Wales has been invaded countless times before and lost. And the people who complain about these invaders could easily be from Norman, Germanic, Roman, Irish,  Celt or Iron Age descent. Hell even the Vikings who successfully raped and pillaged several of our ports could be in your lineage.

Have A Foam Filled Day!

© Paul Hunt 2003