WORLD CUP FEVER - June 13

Group D

Spain

Nigeria

Group E

	South Korea		Mexico
	Holland		Belgium

The grim weather outside provided the ideal excuse, if one was really needed, to stay indoors and slip into a vegetative state of World Cup passivity in front of the non-stop flood of top-class footballing action beamed in live from France 98. Spain v Nigeria looked good on paper and it looked even better on television.

STOP... in progress... it's now Monday morning and I can't concentrate on writing this... England kick off in two hours... STOP ... HELP... GO....STOP... ACK!!!

(Eight hours later...) Right. Back to Saturday... realized how much I really cared about the winners when Nigeria equalised. What I want is goals and excitement, and to hell with who wins. (Unless it's England in which case I can only apologise in imaginary advance to the beautiful game. Which is the famous slogan I have on my Brazil-inspired T-shirt, a remnant of USA 94 chic. Terry Christian once wore the same t-shirt on TV, which I remember briefly disturbing me, but I don't think many people noticed.

Raul, despite his well-taken goal, disappointed and I didn't like the look of Luis Enrique. Nigeria's second I would count as a Zubizarreta og, as the ball wasn't going in until he deflected it, but I don't make the official decisions [a week later, it does seem to have been credited as an own goal]. A thrilling finale culminated in Sunday Oliseh's deserved winner. World Cup Fever's Spanish correspondent called from Madrid after the game, delighted to see Spain beaten. His loyalties to Athletic Bilbao players don't extend to the national team it seems, and he had some unrepeatable Robbie Fowleresque gossip about Raul. We tip our hats to the Nigerians then.

And indeed to the Mexicans, and not just for their splendid Aztec-influenced shirts. But for their exciting style of play, for having goalie who's shorter than most of the outfield players, a bleached blond forward Hernandez, and the green-and-white booted Blanco, who introduced his kangaroo hops into the repertoire of classic World Cup moments. South Korea started well but it all went horribly wrong after Ha Seok-Ju (depends how you say it) scored. A minute later, he was off, having crashed into someone from behind. The referees haven't been as strict as anticipated in regard to the automatic red card for a tackle from behind rule. But Ha wasn't getting away with it and, after the break, Mexico put their one-man advantage to good use, gradually taking complete control of the game. South Korea still haven't won a game in the finals.

In the evening, the game I was really looking forward to - Holland v Belgium. And what a disappointment it turned out to be. It seems that two great games in a row is as many as we are allowed. It may have been expected that the first all-European tie, between two old adversaries, was not going to produce an open, attacking game of contrasting styles. At least Holland tried. Overmars' runs down the left wing looked dangerous in the first half, but Belgium defended in depth and allowed the Dutch few clear-cut opportunities. In the second half, Kluivert got himself sent off for a fairly innocuous elbow shove to the chest after an extended verbal attack on Staelens, who then went down like he'd been shot. But Kluivert can't complain, the bloke's an idiot. Bergkamp was brought on, and still looks some way off being 100 per cent fit and on top form. He had one great chance but took too long getting the ball under control. The final whistle blew and it wasn't a minute too soon.

Overheard someone in the pub say that he'd placed a spread bet on an average of there being more than 2.7 goals per game. Right now, we've had 26 in 10 games and I'm not too optimistic for him .

Results:

Spain (1) 2	Nigeria (1) 3
Hierro 21 Raul 47	Adepoju 24 Zubizarreta og 73 Oliseh 79

South Korea (1) 1	Mexico (0) 3
Ha Seok-Ju 28	Pelaez 51 Hernandez 75, 84

Holland (0) 0

Belgium (0) 0

Shots off target:

Saw the Tony Adams Jaffa Cakes ad. I had been warned but nothing could quite prepare me for the bizarre truth. Recent interviews with Tony have left me feeling he has entering a new spiritual plane.

TV detector vans are going to embark upon major campaign to track down license dodgers on Monday when people are at home watching England.

If I hear any more about the pattern that 'proves' England are destined to win this year's trophy... I knew about this in the last World Cup and keep reading stories and hearing DJs who think they've just dicovered it for themselves. If you don't know what I'm talking about, look at this:

1966	England
1970		Brazil
1974			West Germany
1978				Argentina
1982					Italy
1986				Argentina
1990			West Germany
1994		Brazil
1998	...England

Even worse is when people insist on adding the years together and try to prove it that way. 1970 + 1994 = 3964, and 1974 + 1990 = 3964, blah blah, and guess what, 1966 + 1998 = 3964, too! Of course it does, you ninnies. Now shut up about it.

What it does prove is that England have absolutely no chance of winning, because it would form a meaningful series and suggest that God exists or something. Which he doesn't. Trust me, I know these things.

Yellow card: Vauxhall, for their highly irritating and unfunny inserts before and after every ad break on ITV.

Football quote of the day:
'If you can't stand the heat in the dressing-room, get out of the kitchen.' Terry Venables