WORLD CUP FEVER - July 8

Semi-Final

France

Croatia

Oh my word. After some Polish-led festivities at work that involved sinking some large measures of Fiddler on the Roof vodka, one retired to the Bricklayers Arms off Rathbone Place, down what one is informed is a ginnel, some say alley, some say cul de sac, others don't care, they just want more booze and a good view of the television. Ah, the strains of Faure's Pavane heralding the all-you-can-eat buffet of futbol ahead. Was Saint Des there? I can't remember. What happened in the first half. I have little idea. Tense, edgy, scrappy. But enough about me, this is the second World Cup semi-final, France v Croatia, or as I keep typing Crotia. Hello Mr Blazevic with your funny hat. Hello Mr Jacquet with your spectacles and fierce demeanour. Give us a goal.

Ooh, there it is, just like yesterday, Suker runs on to Asanovic's pass and Crotia are a goal up as soon as the second half starts. And just as we've discussed that, France are attacking and Lilian Thuram of all people finds himself bearing down on goal, and finishing like the French strikers wish they could. One-one. Now it livens up, and - will you stop talking... no one's concentrating on the game except me. Talking about their jobs, their holidays, their mortgages, shut the fuck up, this is the World Cup.

Okay... Thuram - who hasn't previously scored for France in 37 appearances - gets another, an even better strike as the Croatian defence fails to pick him up. Laurent Blanc was sent off for pushing (or punching depending on your point of view) Bilic in the face. They'll miss him in the Final. How's that for stating the bleeding obvious. And how's this for talking rubbish: 'We've got 22 players here who are poets, who play with their feet and their hearts,' by Youri Djorkaeff, who was very disappointing again. Are they good enough to win? I am informed by the melting munchkin jabbering away to my right that her cat (yes, really) predicted a 2-1 win to France over Brazil, the second goal coming through controversial circumstances, some time ago.

Oh, doesn't he sound bad tempered today.

Results:

France (0) 2	Croatia (0) 1
Thuram 47, 69	Suker 46

Your Quote for the Day:

'In the words of the old song, it's a long time from May to December but, you know, it's an equally long time from December to May.' Jimmy Hill