Loquacity
Few people may realize that I have a compulsion of sharing information, ideas,
and events. Now, I won’t usually share one story with a superfluity
of people, but rather I’ll tell the topic to just one or two. But in any
case, I will always tell somebody. I suppose that I, for some reason, take
great comfort in knowing that my experiences are shared and perhaps one of
my acquaintances may learn something by it. I’ve only managed to keep one
secret my entire life, and (no offense to you) it will remain unspoken,
likely past my death.
Sometimes this compulsion becomes a flaw: too often i will savor and ponder
the consequences and benefits and factors of an experience for myself for
only a week, when i should have analyzed it for a month or more to absorb
as much wisdom as possible. Often, relating a story degenerates the idea’s
impact on yourself. However, if you don’t speak it aloud, it may also
become distorted in your mind as you slowly emphasize parts and reduce
others, molding it into the story you would LIKE to believe or the story
of something that you NEVER would've wanted to do, when in reality its a
mixture. Everything is a mixture. Sort of like the whole ying-yang idea
(Laozi is listening now). The world is made up of a balance of both good
and bad; experience IS the good and bad. Maybe there originally was a
balance and your mind distorted it. Maybe it was completely imbalanced and
your mind distorted it into something possessing balance. Maybe I should
shut the hell up and stop analyzing things because I am disrupting the
balance of clarity and obscurity as I spew forth each word inspired by the
connection of synapses in my indefinite brain. I wonder, by thinking, does
one clarify, or does one obscure? Geometry leads us to believe that
massive amounts of pondering result in clarity of mind. Eventually, one
will see the solution and how to arrive upon it. experience leads one to
believe that the more he knows, the more obscure his worldview becomes
until he either has an epiphany or he knows so much, he can’t stand it
anymore and makes up your mind. This is why I love moderacy. But wait; if
experience leads us to moderacy, then why do we all want radicalism? We
want to stand out. We admire those who do stand out. That’s why we
exaggerate. We want to make it clear to others that we rock, or that he or
she, whom I know, rocks, when really we all sort of rock and we all
sort of suck. Its a mixture, somewhat of a balance. We all hope to have
predominating goodness, but if you observe conservative standards of
theology, we all really suck and if you observe liberal Catholicism or
reformed theology we all really rock. However, even this larger picture of
standing out includes an conflicting force within us: that of conformity.
Again, it’s a mixture…
It’s interesting…
and a HUGE digression…
kinda obscure...
but i told you about it; i related information that i could've savored and relished for many weeks to come. But now that I’ve said it, its "clarified" in my mind. Yet, if the information is flawed, then my worldview has been obscured…
im gonna stop now