Dr. Suess has a nasty mind
The following is a story that Dr. Suess really wrote (well maybe) that has never been published because it is for older readers. Enjoy:
Have you......
Have you done it on a boat?
Have you done it with a goat?
Have you done it on a bed?
Have you done it with the dead?
Have you done it in the ass?
Have you done it, high on grass?
Have you done it in a car?
Have you simply gone to far?
Have you done it on a beach?
Have you done it with the teach?
Have you done it on your back?
Have you done it strapped to a rack?
Have you done it in a box?
Have you done it with a fox?
Have you done it in a tree?
Have you done it with more than three?
Have you done it in the rain?
Have you done it for the pain?
Have you done it 'tween the tits?
Have you done it wearing mitts?
Have you done it packed in rubber?
Have you done it undercover?
Have you done it on a perch?
Have you done it in a church?
Have you done it with a virgin?
Have you done it with a sturgeon?
Have you done it with ropes and chains?
Have you done it while insane?
Have you done it on a stage?
Have you done it underage?
Have you done it with all your friends?
Have you done it in both ends?
Have you done it with a dog?
Have you done it in a log?
Have you done it under claps?
Have you done it with the lamps?
Have you done it for all to see?
Have you ever had VD?
Have you done it on mother's couch?
Have you done it in your mouth?
Have you done it while on tape?
Have you done it out of shape?
Have you done it on T.V.?
Have you done it while you pee?
Have you done it in a gym?
Have you done it on a whim?
Have you done it on a dare?
Do you really think we care?
IT'S A GIRL THING!
Every day I give thanks to God
I have two mounds upon my bod.
I shave my legs sit down to pee,
I can justify any shopping spree.
Don't go to a barber, but a beauty salon,
can get a massage without a hard-on.
Can balance a chekbook can pump my own gas
can talk to my freinds about the size of my ass.
My beauty's a masterpiece, and yes it takes long,
at least I can admit to others when I'm wrong.
I don't drive in circles at any cost
and I don't have a problem admiting I'm lost.
Don't act like I'm in a timed marathon
every time I have to go to the john.
I don't brag about the size of my "cup''
Hey put the seat down, 'cause I won't leave it up!
I never forget an importiant date,
you just gotta deal, I'm usualy late.
I don't watch movies with lots of gore,
don't need an instant replay to remember the score.
I won't lose my hair
I don't get jock itch.
And just 'cuase I'm assertive,
don't call me a bitch.
I don't wear the same underwear every day,
the food in my fridge has no sing of decay.
Don't burp, don't belch, and I certiantly don't fart,
Ballet, not football is what I consider an art.
Don't say to your freinds " Oh yeah I can get her."
In your dreams my dear I can do better!
Flowers are okay, but jewelry is best,
WOULD YOU LOOK AT MY FACE NOT AT MY CHEST!
I don't have a problem admiting my feelings,
I know when you're lying you look at the ceiling.
Don't call me a babe, a girl or a chik,
I'm a WOMAN! Get it you prick?!
Let me tell all you men,
listen to me boys,
thoes things in your pants,
that you treat as toys,
you love them more than we ever will,
we'd rather suck on a cold pickled dill.
I know all you men think that you're "IT".
But conpared to a woman
YOU JUST AIN'T SHIT!
ghostly house,
I hear, far off,
at some forgottendoor,
A music and an eerie fain carouse
And stir of echoes down the
creaking floor.
----- "Cambers of Imagery"
Archibald MacLeish.