So I was looking at Jess's website, and a great pain flooded my heart. But the pain wasn't caused by her words. No, it was due to who she was talking about. me. little me. the jerk that is me. i had the nerve to hurt the only one i love on this earth. It really doesn't matter what led to my words and actions. And she wrote of 1 Corinthians, chapter 13. The whole chapter speaks of love. Not just what love does, but how powerful love is. "If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal." (v1) And that is what i have become. i am sorry. i have sinned against my love and against my God. i have taken something i cherish and have been blessed by the Lord with, and kicked it aside, letting pride and anger take over.

Lord, i am sorry. i should have never acted the way i have. Ever. There is no cause for it. i deserve whatever punishment i receive. i know i don't deserve Jess, but i don't always act like it. i take our relationship for granted sometimes, and i know that is not love. Make me to chew upon Your Word, taking in every morsel. Force me to look to You for the ultimate example of how to love Jess, for You have taught me to love her as Christ loves the church. Lord God, humble me. Drop me to my knees. Rush Your Holy Word through my veins, and help me to love Jess the way i know i can and need to.