AUTHOR: Kate Mulder EMAIL: Enigma806@aol.com TITLE: Brand New Angel RATING: PG ARCHIVE: Sure, if you want it. Just send me the link, and keep this header intact. FEEDBACK: I love it. Enigma806@aol.com DISCLAIMER: Kate and Vicki are my creations, everyone else is Chris Carter's. Simple enough? 1013 and FOX are in on this...no copyright infringement intended. Please don't sue me...but even if you did, I have nothing of any value to you. Trust me on that one. Besides, if I owned this goldmine, I'd be living in an eclectically decorated Arlington (maybe Alexandria) apartment instead of military housing. :) "One Sweet Day" is not mine, either, it's sung by Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men. SUMMARY: Tragedy strikes the Mulder family yet again. How will they pick up the pieces this time? SPOILERS: "SUZ/Closure" Other than that, they'll be tiny. CATEGORY/KEYWORDS: Vignette, Frohike POV, angst, M/S married, character death (not M or S) NOTES: I'd originally intended to write this from Mulder or Scully's POV, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I wasn't ready to delve into that level of emotion just yet. So I picked an outside observer who's close to the situation, which is what I was when the real-life event that inspired this story occurred. More about that after the story. Major tissue warning, especially if you have children or are expecting any. This is depressing! I don't do this just for the heck of it, it actually helps in a way. Kate Mulder is a character I created for a RPG, and she kind of became a character in stories from there. That's where my pen name comes from. She's 16 in all the other stories she appears in...this is the first time I've ever had her younger. "Requiem" didn't happen in this story's universe. ___________________ I was alone when I got the call. Which wasn't anything unusual...I was a loner for years before I met Byers and Langly. They were, at that moment, out in New Mexico, checking out something that really tipped the scales on the weirdness factor. I'd have gone, but *somebody* had to mind the store. The next issue of our magazine was due out in two weeks. Didn't bother me, though. We had plenty of time before we had to go to press. Besides which, as much as I like those two, sometimes a break from them can be welcome. We're three such different personalities, it's amazing we haven't killed each other before now. The phone rang, and I knew something was wrong the moment I heard Mulder's voice. "Frohike?" "Yeah?" I asked, switching off the recording device. This wasn't something I did often, but this was also a very personal situation. I could tell. "Would you mind coming over here...just for a minute?" His voice sounded choked, as if he were having trouble speaking. And that's when I heard it. I heard Scully sobbing in the background. That's what really hit it home for me that something was majorly, seriously wrong. "Of course," I assured him. "I'll be right there." On my way to their house, I reflected on the past year. After all the problems they had survived, after all the tragedies...things were finally starting to go right for the Mulder family. Little Kate was getting bigger every day--she was five now. And they had a brand-new baby, Vicki. Kate adored her little sister, and Mulder and Scully adored both their little girls. They'd just bought a new house in Maryland, Skinner had given them the X-Files back (but allowed them to work out a better schedule to allow for two small children), and Kate was due to start kindergarten in the fall. Things were wonderful. And they deserved it, after everything they'd been through. But now tragedy had struck again. What had happened now? What really got to me was hearing Scully cry like that. Her sister's funeral, she'd been stoic as ever, kept it all inside...they'd called her the Ice Queen for it, but she hadn't cared. When she's thought Mulder had died, she'd cried--but not like this. It frightened me, knowing something could devastate her so much. What on earth had happened? I got to the house, and Mulder met me at the door. Scully was inside, sitting on the couch. She was still crying her eyes out. Poor thing. I set aside my love for her on the day she was married, but I still care for her deeply. I care for all of them. And it tore at my heart to see her like this. Mulder was obviously trying to be strong for her, but I could see right through it. Kate was on the couch, next to her mother, trying to comfort her, but not knowing how. "Thanks for coming," Mulder said, and I tried to manage a smile. "Any time, buddy." That's what friends are for, after all. I looked around, knowing that Vicki usually had the household hopping by this time of the morning. After all, she was three months old. "Where's the baby?" The pained expression on Mulder's face told me everything. All the pieces fell together in that one split second. "Oh, no...man...I am so sorry..." The only appropriate words at a time like that are never enough. He just managed half a smile, and put a hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him, and I knew he was barely holding himself together. That he was doing it for his wife's sake. Screw this "I'll be okay, don't worry about me" crap. He'd just lost his kid. He wasn't *supposed* to be okay. No one *expected* him to be okay. I pulled him a little closer, and hugged him. I've done this maybe once before--in my life. I'm not a real emotional person. But forget that, I had a friend who needed it. I don't have any family...my friends *are* my family. And I'd do anything--*anything*--for them. Kate shoved herself off the couch, and crossed the room. Mulder turned to her when she tugged on the bottom of his shirt. "What is it, sweetie?" She held her arms up, and he picked her up obligingly. Her green eyes looked deep into his. She was definitely her father's daughter--in both looks and personality. "Daddy? Why's Mommy crying? Where's Vicki?" She was so young...so innocent. She didn't understand. She didn't know that her baby sister was forever gone. As Mulder tried to find a way to put things in terms the five-year-old would understand, I stepped away long enough to place a phone call. Langly's messed with my cell phone so much, it's probably untraceable...but even if it weren't, I didn't care. I dialed Byers' number. "I think you'd better get back here," I told him as soon as he answered. "You and Langly both." "Why?" "Never mind the 'why'," I insisted, "just get back here. I'll explain everything later." There was no way I was going to give them news like this over the phone. XXXXXXXX The funeral was three days later. I have never seen so many flowers in one place in all my life. I have also never seen anything more depressing in all my life. They say it was SIDS--crib death. Whatever you want to call it, it should never have happened. Babies shouldn't die. It's just so wrong, so pointless. The inscription below one of the pictures really struck me. "The longest life is short, but the shortest life is a miracle." Isn't that the truth. It's amazing--Vicki only lived three months, but the joy she brought into everybody's lives in those three months...it's immeasurable. I took a look at the scene around me. Maggie Scully was at her daughter's side, as she had been since she'd gotten the news. It was a good thing, too, because I think that was the only thing keeping Dana on her feet. She was in pieces...not that I blame her, poor kid. She'd already lost Emily, now she was having to deal with losing another child. Langly looked as though he would rather be someplace else--*any*place else. He kept avoiding looking anywhere near the casket. It was so tiny--too tiny. I could understand his reasoning. It's like, "this is just a horrible dream, please let me wake up now." Mulder looked absolutely lost. It was his own way of dealing with things...trying not to deal with them. His coping mechanisms had worked for him for years; I wasn't about to argue with them. I just wished there were something else I could do. Byers had kind of been in denial about it until we'd gotten here. I could tell that it was just now starting to hit him. He was kind of keeping to himself. And Kate...she still didn't quite grasp what was happening. People would come up to her, hug her, pat her on the head...and she'd just run a hand over her hair and keep on going with her life. She didn't have a clue. And I envied her for that. More than anyone could ever know. I was still angry over the unfairness of it all. They were good people, and besides which, they'd had enough happen to them already! Into each life some rain must fall, sure, but this was getting ridiculous. Scully had lost her her father, her sister, her dog--two of her daughters now... And Mulder. He'd spent so many years searching for Samantha only to learn she'd been lost to him almost all along. They murdered his father, drove his mother to suicide...and now his baby daughter had died too. It wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair. But when is life ever? In all my adult life, I had never cried before. I didn't cry in 1973 when I came back from Vietnam only to discover that my wife had given up and run off with some stupid delivery boy. I didn't cry when I thought that the man I had considered to be my hero--and one of my best friends--was supposedly dead. I didn't cry when the woman I had spent years hopelessly in love with married that man. I'd gone and gotten drunk, but I hadn't cried. But now, looking at little Kate as she peered into the casket...as I hear her whisper one tiny sentence, all my emotional walls broke down and the tears came. "C'mon, Vicki," she whispered, in that sweet and syrupy little-girl voice of hers, "you gotta wake up." XXXXXXXX The service itself was beautiful. I'd never seen anything like it. Of course, I had made a strenuous point of avoiding these things before. I had only gone if my presence was absolutely necessary. Most of it now is a blur of memories to me--I recall bits and pieces. Father McCue mentioned something about trials in life, and how they always overcame...mention was made of Emily...but I'll never forget when Jamie Lynn got up to sing. She was their babysitter...she'd known the family since Kate was two. I remember the song perfectly. It was called "God Bless a Brand New Angel". That's what little Vicki was now--at least I liked to think so. The newest tiny angel. I'd remembered glancing at the obituary...and thinking how black and white it all seemed. "Victoria Promise Mulder, infant, three months". That's how they summarized the life of a little girl who had brought so much happiness to everyone around her. A girl who was always happy about everything...a girl with her mother's hair and her father's eyes. No, the bit in the paper didn't do little Vicki justice...but, then, nothing ever could have. I remember the song that was playing as everyone filtered out to go to the graveside service or wherever they were going to go. "One Sweet Day". "Sorry I never told you All I wanted to say But now it's too late to hold you Because you've flown away So far away Never had I imagined Living without your smile Feeling, knowing you hear me It keeps me alive Alive And I know you're shining down on me from heaven Like so many friends we've lost along the way. And I know eventually we'll be together One sweet day." As I headed out to the car, I couldn't help but think that maybe somewhere beyond the sky, beyond the sea...a woman was cuddling the baby girl in her arms as she walked over to see her father. A teenager dragged her parents over to see, as a little blonde-haired girl played at their feet. Notes: Okay, I promised you the story...this story was written with someone in mind. A couple of years ago, my friend's baby sister died. It was the first time in my life I'd ever dealt with death first-hand. Even now, if I think about it for too long, it depresses me. I found the easiest way to deal with it was to do so in a literary way...i.e., put it in a fic. Some of Frohike's thoughts come from my own, I must admit. Some of it's poetic listens. This story is special to me, for obvious reasons. My friend's family had also lost another child previously...I dedicate this story in loving memory of them both. May they forever rest in peace.