My brother came back for good from his studies today. Picked him up at the airport in the afternoon. Its amazing how much we managed to fit into my little yellow Getz.
Oh yeah, I didn't mention that I finally got myself a car here... Unfortunately, I don't have any pics to show you now. Guess you'll just have to make do with these pics of Didi...
He looks so much healthier, furrier, and cuter now.
Does the heart tell
the mind what to think,
Or does the mind tell the heart what to feel?
Let me go
And away I'll fly
Set me free
And I'll dance in the sky
For you
For you
For you
While at the vet yesterday, I saw Junita Simon and her pussy... cat. She was there with her bf, i think. This post has absolutely no point.
I'm faithful but I'm
faithless
I don't have what it takes
I'm thoughtful yet I'm thoughtless
I shouldn't have made you stay
Long weekends are nice, but somehow they still seem too short. Friday felt like a Saturday, Saturday felt like Sunday, Today feels like Sunday too. Weird. Think my weekly bio-clock is all screwed up again...
Rain washed out soccer today. Actually, the rain wasn't the real factor. There were only 6 of us who turned up in the end, and none of the guys with soccer balls turned up. Sad. I was so looking forward to play. Have to get ready for IPPT leh...
So I've been really lazy to update my blog. But now I'm back. Did you miss me?
Just a little update, I'm now waiting for my medical assessment on this coming Tuesday. If I clear that, then I'll be flying off pretty soon to Australia to try and be a pilot. Yes, I wanna fly. Wish me luck.
Was at the Esplanade last night to catch The Jerms play. They sounded kinda tired. Guess working life is taking its toll on them. But they still sound good. Caught Patrick Chng tapping his hands along to them at the backstage while they were playing. I guess you gotta admit they play good stuff if he's doing that. =)
Check back again soon. Think I'll start blogging again. On a semi-regular basis...
It's a lovely day
It's a lonely day
The lights are bright
But you just won't stay
I want to play
I want to pray
Tonight I might
But you went away
Now that I know
Now that I'm cold
In my head, I'm safe in my bed.
In my bed, I'm safe in my head.
When will I know?
When will I grow?
Please don't mind, let me take my time.
This heart of mine, only I can find.
Once found,
I'll grow.
Once safe,
I'll know.
That I'll never leave you cold.
2004 is fast coming to an end... I've become really sporadic in my updates. Maybe it's coz I feel too lazy to come in and write. Also a lack of motivation. There's just too much fun to be had, and not enough to gripe about here. Or maybe the things I wanna gripe about, I don't feel like telling the whole world. Actually, not the whole world, but only the few who actually come to my site. Sorry guys. Some things are just private.
Not that I really have much to gripe about. Actually, this year has had its ups and downs, and I'm so glad it's ending on a high note. I feel like my life has really gotten back on track. Of course, there are still some things to be settled, but these things will be settled in time. I feel good about myself. I feel happy about my work. I feel... I feel... Err... I feel good fullstop.
Just had a gathering of sorts at Renee's place to say farewell before she leaves. She is silly. She says that she doesn't want anyone to send her off coz she will cry if anyone does so... Well, lucky her, we all have to work. So Renee, too bad, you are on your own. I still want my cat.
Well, this weekend was a rather peaceful one for me actually. I stayed home to rot on Saturday night. Actually saved me some money. I think I may start doing that more often, I'm trying to cut down on the partying on weekdays, and only limit it to the weekends. Also, my smoking has been cut to just one pack per week, on the weekends. So I'm progressing there. Hopefully I can totally cut it out eventually. Partying has just lost its fun to me. I'd rather sit down for quiet drinks and good music with my friends.
Right now, I guess there's only one thing that I really wish for. No, not a car, although that is in the pipeline. No, not a girl, although one would be nice. No, not world peace, I'm not in any beauty pageant. Yet. What I really, really, really,really wish for, is....
Bleah! Don't tell you! =P
Renee's going to leave Singapore to work in Bali. I'm happy for her, but I feel sad that a good friend is leaving to work overseas... 1 less person for me to grumble to...
Reading "The Da Vinci Code" now. Despite all the hype, it's... well... it lives up to the hype. I'm about halfway through, and it really moves at a break-neck pace. And it's packed with so many bits of historic trivia... Really intriguing... No wonder everyone's reading and raving about it...
I realised that I haven't stopped to smell the roses lately. Couldn't find any, so I smelt my armpit. Eww.. Gross... Just kidding. Today, I just took a moment for myself, and counted my blessings. I felt down, but I bounced back. It's great having a fat belly to bounce on...
Disjointed paragraphs. Would probably fail compo. But I dun care.
I have found my confidence. Have you found yours?
Wow December again... I received 2 pieces of good news from work last week, and my mind is very much at ease now.
I distinctly remember that there was something else I wanted to write here. But I can't remember now. My memory is fading. Must be old age. Whatever.
Oh now I remember. I want to really cut down my smoking. Maybe I'll only smoke when I'm out drinking or when I feel really really really stressed. I have been smoke-free for the whole of today. Go me!
Last night's match between Liverpool and Arsenal was one of the most satisfying match I've seen Liverpool play in a long time. They practically dominated the entire match. Arsenal managed to produce a moment of magic with their goal, but the last-gasp winner by Mellor was pure magic. Couldn't stop grinning after the match was over...
On another note, tomorrow is the last day of my course at Paya Lebar. Looks like it's back to normal work again come December... Well, it was a nice break while it lasted.
So Nicoll Highway will re-open next month. Heavy vehicles, please keep out. Applies to people too...
Today is a day when I will normally take an MC, coz I was feeling terrible since last night. Unfortunately, I had a exam to take today, plus I'm gonna have quizzes everyday from now til Monday, so I have no choice but to drag my sorry ass to work. I hope I dun infect anyone...
See? No muse = No inspiration = Nothing good to write about here...
I need no affirmation. I know who I am. I just need inspiration. I need my muse. Without her, I'm not whole.
I really need to re-organise my room and do a good spring-cleaning. But I'm just too lazy and so I procrastinate and procrastinate. Besides, it's not spring time yet...
Anyways, I had a really good game of soccer on Sunday. Haven't scored so many goals in a long time. I kept having flashbacks of all the goals and nice moves I made during that day these past few days. Shit, I really should have better things to think about... My life is sad.
Hollow,
Empty,
This hole inside longs to be filled.
Tired,
Weary,
I've lost my faith in my own heart.
Thoughtful,
Hopeful,
Someday you will show me your face.
Lonely,
Maybe,
One day you will take me away.
Perhaps I'm turning old and soft... I started liking Jay Chou's soppy songs. Soppy, but they sound good. Sigh... the pitfalls of old age.
I still like rock/pop/whatever I like, but my tolerance for run-of-the-mill chinese pop seems to be getting higher... Sigh...
Ok, I'm back. I'm mugging for a test tomorrow for my BMTAC. I shouldn't be doing that now, but as usual, I'm leaving things to the last minute. I should be sleeping.
A lot of people will be taking leave on Friday to enjoy a super-long weekend, but I'm not. I have to go for class for my course on Friday and Saturday as well. Damn.
Luckily I took a break before the course started. Went to Phuket and had a great time there. Will upload the photos when I get round to it. As usual, I'm leaving things to the last minute. Wait a minute, there's no such thing as last minute for this, is there? Whatever.
I'm back, by the way, to leave my little marks in cyberspace. Did you miss me?
I think I'm gonna take a break from blogging. How long? I dunno.
The exercise is finally over, and it's gonna be back to the normal routine again. I'll have more time to yak here.
Life is so funny. I'm no longer troubled by my problem. Although it hasn't been resolved, I know that there are people willing to stick their heads out for me, and for that I'm thankful. I'm also thankful for finding someone new in my life. I guess you 'll find that I'm in a much happier mood nowadays.
I'm so glad that I'm over the dark period in my life. Somehow, I think that I've emerged stronger. I'm so much better equipped to deal with knocks now. Go, me!
Today marks a new beginning... =)
Ok, so I've actually been home the past 2 days, coz I was down with a viral infection in my poor tummy. It sucks. Stomach kept aching, and I kept needing to shit, and I kept getting fever on and off...
I have to go back to work tomorrow, but I dunno how I'm gonna survive... Still feeling kinda terrible right now. Hope I feel better by tonight... Sigh...
My folks have been out of town for the past few days, and will only be back this coming weekend. In the meantime, it's tough living on my own. I can barely look after myself, and I still have to look after Didi. Not that I'm complaining about looking after him, but I think the one who's getting it worse is him, coz my parents aren't around to pamper him...
Anyway, you probably won't hear much from me on my blog for the next 2 weeks. Major air defence exercise coming up, and I doubt I have much time to lurk in cyberspace. Not that you hear much from me nowadays anyway...
It was all PMS.
Anyway, this morning, I was in a cab, and I noticed the driver's name. His name was Tan Ah Kow.
I kid you not.
It's late on a Monday night. I should be sleeping, but I'm not. Why? I don't know. I'm filled with a overwhelming sense of loss. What loss? I guess I didn't really lose anything. I just never got it. For want of a better word to explain this emptiness, I used the word "loss".
In Greek tragedies, all the heroes have their tragic flaws. For instance, Achilles had his heel. I know I have one too. But I'm neither Greek nor a hero. How I got my tragic flaw, only God knows. I wished I didn't have it. Life would be so much simpler.
I talked to Renee for just a tiny little while just now. She knows me well. I think she and I both know what I'm talking about here. It's not really a secret, but I guess not many people really know about my tragic flaw.
She told me to just wait for the right answer. Not her exact words, but for the purpose of being cryptic, it'll suffice. I don't really want to spell out everything in black and white. I don't know whether I'll find my answer. I'm not really searching. Maybe one day the answer will just hit me in the face. Ouch.
This is no good. This is no good. Bad bad bad. How? How? Somebody save me...
Last working Saturday before converting to a 5-day work-week, with the blessings of PM Lee. Had a CO Forum and everyone was desperately trying to keep our eyes opened while he talked and talked. In the end, we knocked off late. He said it would be a memorable last working Saturday. Whatever...
Jun-Yu's Plan #142 for World Domination:
I will spread bird flu to all of the world's supply of chicken, except for my army of elite hens. While the rest of the world's chickens are sneezing away, my hen army will go about laying eggs with military precision. When the rest of the world's supply of chicken is culled, I will be the sole supplier of oh-so-yummy eggs. I will then start a chain of supermarkets that sell things at a fair price, and tell my customers that they have to buy $10 worth of items first before they are allowed to buy up to 10 eggs from me. I will then rule the world.
Sounds ridiculous? I thought so too...
A lot of people in Signapore are like toilet bowls. They work under asses, and have to swallow a lot of shit. I'm glad I'm not one of them. I work under a fiesty cactus... wahahahaha
Hope has sprung a perfect
dive a perfect day, a perfect lie.
A slowly crafted monologue conceding your defeat.
Does it comfort you to know you fought the good fight?
With the price of eggs going up, pranksters will have to look for cheaper alternatives for things to throw...
On my way back in Kenneth's car, my mind was filled with all sorts of thoughts. In fact, it actually happened even before I got into the car. Not all the thoughts were good. Neither were they evil. Well, maybe some were.
I'm glad I have friends I can count on in times of need. I'm thankful to have them in my life. I'm also glad that when I returned to work, I was posted to a unit with a boss who was willing to stick his neck out to help me over my problem. Lucky me.
I should never had gotten into this situation in the first place. Back then I didn't know how to stop the slide. Now I know better. Now I have to dig my way out of this hole.
No point looking back at what happened. I just have to look ahead and do my best.
I never wanted an extraordinary life. I guess I only wanted a simple life. I've never wanted to be rich, but it would be a nice bonus I suppose. I've never wanted to be famous, even when I fantasized about being a rock star or sports star, it was more because of interests in those area rather than the fame that comes with them. I just wanted to be able to repay what my parents have given to me, and live a contented life.
I think I'm thinking too much. But I can't help it, I think...
If only I was born into a rich family... No, I wouldn't swap my parents for anyone else's. My parents brought me up to become the person I am. I would like to think that I'm naturally this way, but no, the credit must go to my parents for the morals and values they have inculcated in me. They made me all the good I am. Only thing that they still could not teach me is how to keep my room neat and tidy. It's still a pig sty. But, hey, let's not be picky here, ok?
This is a long post. It's too bad I didn't have the chance to write down all my thoughts as they ran through my head just now. You would probably be staring at a 20-page essay. You probably would have stopped reading after the first page, coz it wouldn't make any sense to you. Whatever. Now those thoughts have come and gone. The after-taste still lingers on. I can feel the effect of thinking those things. It's very tiring.
I'm not my usual self today. I don't even know what my usual self is anymore. I don't just smile when I'm happy. I also smile when I'm upset. I can't say that I'm happy, yet neither can I say that I'm depressed. Perhaps I'm just pensive, a case of the mid-week blues.
I can go on and on and on and on. And if you've read so far, you'd probably carry on reading. But as I said, it's tiring. I feel drained. I shall stop for a smoke now.
After the first month or so of going out everyday after work, I've finally calmed down and learnt to enjoy the feeling of coming home to sleep the whole night away after work. That's what I did yesterday. Came home, went online for a while, napped, woke up for dinner, then slept all the way until this morning. The weird thing is, despite so many hours of sleep, I still wasn't really awake until I had my coffee. I've become a coffee junkie. That's bad.
That was a boring post. Sorry to bore you guys.
But still, I have to go on... It's become so easy for me to wear my ear studs now. I used to have to stand in front of the mirror to try to get them on, especially the one at the top of my ear. Now, I can do it even without the help of the mirror. What an achievement.
That was another boring post. Sorry to bore you guys again.
I had a very good weekend in terms of monetary returns. Won quite a bit thru mahjong on Friday and Sunday, and in between those 2 days, I got my IPPT Silver on Saturday, which means another $100 into my poor bank account. Speaking of IPPT on Saturday, our dear PM Lee has taken away one of the few opportunities for people like me to skive. 5-day work week means no IPPT on Saturdays, which means no 1-and-a-half hours of work on a 4-and-a-half-hour working day. Boo Hoo... Does that make any sense?
Yet another boring post. Apologies. I shall stop here.
How to get Silver for IPPT:
1) Smoke as per normal
2) Play mahjong til 2.30am the night before
3) Wake up at the last possible moment on the day
4) Rush down to IPPT venue in a cab
5) Tell taxi driver to keep $0.20 change
6) Clear static stations one at a time
7) Run like hell at the beginning of the 2.4 run
8) When starting to tire during the run, still run like hell
How to celebrate after getting Silver for IPPT:
1) Smoke as per normal
2) Go to Changi Village for heavy breakfast
3) Go home and update blog
4) Sleep
Unplanned visit by my CO to my place today, part of the agony of having taken 1 extra year to study and getting into all sorts of shit over it. It wasn't that bad, but it's something that I shouldn't have had to go thru. This sucks. I just wish this whole situation can get resolved as quick as possible. It's starting to wear me down just thinking about it.
Before that, I had an interview with COMD ADB. Who is COMD ADB? Most of you guys won't know anyway, so dun ask. Anyway, he is one guy that I respect. Instead of coming out of his office flustered, I came out feeling that it was a refreshing and enriching meeting. Why am I saying all these? I dunno. Just a bit incoherent I guess...
My policy these days is just to curl the ends of my lips upwards whenever I feel down. So if you see me smiling at apparently nothing, come over and give me a big hug... Not applicable to guys.
All of a sudden, one week has past, and I must say it was quite a tiring week, despite it only containing 4 working days. I've been getting lots of teasing from my colleagues over an anthill that they turned into a mountain, and so I've just been playing along. Playing along, along long long...
It was one big struggle for me to keep my eyes open today, not that I was feeling sleepy, but maybe my eyes were just physically too tired. So I'm actually typing this entry with my eyes closed. Believe it or not.
Just kidding...
Anyway, got myself a new handphone yesterday. It's a state-of-the-art, top-of-the-shelf Samsung with amazing new features such as dial out, receive call, and send and receive SMS! Well, that's about all it does. Due to the nature of my job, I'm not allowed to bring those lousy, old-fashion camera phones to work.
At the very least, it's a damn loud phone, so not only will I not miss hearing the phone ring, I no longer have to keep asking the person on the other end to speak up. Nokia sucks. Long live Samsung!
I got a bruise on my left shin from soccer yesterday. It's the size of Australia... Big and painful... Ouch!
Anyway, watched the first episode of Singapore Idol today. Actually, only half-watched since I was playing mahjong at that time, and my back was to the TV. I can only say that I cannot believe that there are such idiots out there. I feel so sad for our society... Sigh...
No more TV in my room. I shifted it over to my parents' room for them to watch, since I hardly watch any TV at home anyway...
The other day, while going out for breakfast with some of my colleagues, we somehow got to the topic of NKF and kidney transplants... Then I wondered whether a person who has received an organ transplant from someone can subsequently donate that organ to someone else if the organ is still working fine... If so, then that particular organ can be passed on and on for hundreds of years, can't it?
Gives a whole new perspective to that Celine Dion "classic" Titanic song, "My Heart Will Go On", doesn't it?
I've been too busy resting and watching anime to update this blog. Dun really have anything much to write about these days, so I might as well stop altogether...
Nah, just kidding... I'll just write when I feel like, what I feel like...
Anyway, watched Private Parts on Saturday with Renee. I wun say it's bad, but I think it's definitely over-hyped. I went in expecting something really great, but it turned out to be disappointingly average. The acting wasn't fantastic, the plot was predictable, and the main theme behind the whole play was brought across in a very convenient manner. Plus, the whole theatre seemed to be filled with girls intent on giggling at every single supposedly-funny line there was. Seriously, not all the lines were that funny.
And dun get me started on Jamie Yeo. Ok, too bad, I've started. She was horrible in the play. Horrible acting, plus horribly irritating. And she stood right next to the lead actor when the cast were all onstage at the end. But her role wasn't even that significant! Ptui! Yucks! Just because she thinks she's some big fuck...
I guessed I'm just prejudiced against her. I'm sure she's actually a very nice person if I get the chance to know her...
Buahahahaha
So after taking my first MC in years, I took my second one today. So it was an eye infection on Wednesday, then today, it became a throat infection... Rested at home the whole day, and I'm so itching to go out and party the night away...
Alas, the mind is willing but the body is weak... Sigh...
Stayed home today because of an eye infection. Think I've been wearing contact lenses too much this past month. Luckily I've finally got my glasses back with supposedly the right degrees for my eyes... But somehow, things still look blur when I put them on.,.
Hmm... the first MC I've taken in years... buahahaha
Went to Downtown East last night. Didn't realise that place had so much stuff! Though by the time I got there, everything was closed, except for Cheers. Oh well. Happy 21st Birthday to Raine.
Had a terrible game of soccer today. Sigh. That just spoilt my day. Wanted to go get a haircut later, but found out that REDS closes at 5.30pm today. Double sigh...
@#$%!!! I rested at home early last night like a good boy because I was supposed to take IPPT this morning. And what happens when I'm there this morning? Rain! Cat 1! Argh! I could have done something else more exciting on a Friday night then stay at home! %$@!!!
I really seem to blog less often these days now that I've started work, but it's not that I dun wanna blog anymore, just that there's nothing much I can talk about these days other than work, and if I tell you about my work, I'd have to kill you, and that means I have to kill you, you and you...
Anyway, last night I went to sleep at 8 plus right after I had my dinner. Wow, such an exciting life I lead, eh?
Actually, that's not the norm for me these days. I still go out almost every single night, whether it's a working day the next day or not. My mum's worried I'll fall ill if I keep this up. So am I. But that's not gonna stop me. Dun tell me I'm crazy, coz I know I am...
But hey, we're only young once, and I dun intend to let my life revolve around work only. I need to enjoy life while I can. So ain't nobody's gonna stop me.
Watched Brotherhood on Tuesday with Renee. The show was decent, though I thought it wasn't that great. Not gonna talk about it here, you can go catch it yourself.
After the show ended around 9 plus, Renee had to go home straight away. So I had no choice but to go home too. She works more than me I suppose, so I guess I must be glad that my work in the RSAF still lets me have the energy to go out and play. All work and no play makes Jun-Yu a dull boy. And I'm not a dull boy.
Neither is Renee lah... Technically, she can't be a dull boy... Buahahahaha
Don't kill me hor, Renee...
Wow, 2 entries in a day. Dun expect too many of such occurences in the future...
This is what I wear to work everyday:
Well, not actually this same one shirt everyday, but my point is, look at the number or ornaments I have to put onto it before it becomes my uniform... It's actually quite leychey, but better than having to decide what to wear every morning.
And on another note, here are my commencement photos. I didn't take many, coz it didn't seem like a big deal to me. I guess I went for my parents' sake, more than my own. But whatever, it's over and done with...
Good day of mahjong yesterday, good game of soccer today... What more can a guy like me ask for? Actually a lot more... Looking back at my wish list, I had to strike out a few items...
No more oakley glasses, since I wear contacts to work everyday nowadays...
No more car, coz I really cannot afford one now...
No more rich girlfriend, coz I just can't seem to attract them...
No more MP3 player, coz I haven't gone to look for one...
Sigh...
I think I just struck out 3 out of 4 for good. The only achievable one in the meantime is the MP3 player... Anyone wants to go shopping with me?
I've been working hard and playing hard ever since I started work. Unfortunately, juggling those 2 means that I don't have time to rest hard...
Saturday IPPT - Failed
Sunday Commencement - Completed
Monday Blues - Over
I realised I lately developed a habit of looking up at the skies, just to stare at the blue and the white... Maybe a case of Airforcitis...
I have finished one full week of work. So far so good. Things are starting to get busy. I must say I am quite happy to be at my current unit. The people are nice, and the work is actually interesting. Good good...
Anyway, other than last Friday, I have been out every night after work. So I'm actually pretty tired most days. Surprisingly, I don't fall asleep at work. Go, me!
And luckily I found someone I can hitch a ride from for most days. Lucky me!
And someone told me something which I didn't want to hear on Tuesday night. Woe is me.
But I'm fine. I'm strong. And I will live my life as best I can, working hard, and playing hard, and forget about my worries.
Now I'm wondering whether I should jio someone out for drinks later... Wahahaha
Can you see the flickering
flame?
Just a glimmer of hope.
Come towards the light,
Come towards the light.
I'm holding a torch for you...
First day of work. And what do I do? I go out after work and reach home past 12 midnight. Too tired to really write right now. Expect this type of short updates for some time to come...
TGIF!