Archived April 2002
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Warning: This story is rated R. If you are under
18 years then please do not read any further
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Natalie Lambert sat on the plane watching the billowing clouds
passing
below. She was returning to Toronto after a week in the sun. When
she'd
left on what was being called an extended vacation, she hadn't
been sure
that she would ever be going back. Natalie wasn't one to try and
fool
herself. She hadn't gone on vacation. She'd fled after nearly
being killed
by Nick's master, LaCroix, and having her heart broken. She'd
needed time
to sort out in her mind the events of that Valentine's Day and
those of the
days just preceding and following it. The funny part was that
this wasn't
the first time she'd fled Toronto because of an incident in which
she'd
nearly been killed. The last time, her relationship with Nick had
also
played a large part in her desire to get away.
It had only been a year earlier that she'd had her nearly fatal
encounter
with Roger Jameson. At that time, she'd been so desperate to deny
the
feelings that she had for Nick, that she'd turned to the first
apparently
normal male that had shown up. Unhappily, apparently normal had
turned out
to be far from the reality. She shuddered as she thought about
what might
have happened if Nick hadn't found her when he did. That moment
in the
greenhouse, when Nick had pulled her into his arms, Natalie had
known in
the deepest part of her soul that she was hopelessly and
unashamedly in
love with him. The way that he'd held her, the words he'd
murmured in her
ear, had done more to calm her than anything else had done.
Now, here she was again having nearly escaped death.
She sighed as she remembered the things she'd said to Nick when
her
memories of that night at Azure had returned. She'd been hurt,
angry and
confused when she recalled, not only her encounter with LaCroix,
but also
the way Nick had calmly denied any feelings for her to his master
after
having told her, just a day earlier, that he loved her. She'd
believed him
that night in her apartment and his actions, the tender way he'd
held and
kissed her, had seemed to reinforce his words. After hearing him
at Azure,
coldly denying any feelings for her, she didn't know what to
believe. Her
heart was telling her that he had to be lying to LaCroix, but she
just
wasn't sure. When she'd gone to his loft, she'd meant to stay
calm. Once
there, however, all the pain had welled up and she'd ended up
raging at
Nick and then storming out into the bright sunlight, ignoring his
pleas for
her to stay and let him try and explain. She'd called her office,
arranged
for time off, and been on a plane to Bermuda in less than two
hours. She'd
ignored the almost constant ringing of both her regular and cell
phones and
her plane had left long before the sun had grown low enough for
Nick to be
able to seek her out in person.
She'd spent most of her time during the past ten days laying in
the sun and
thinking. Her first reaction had been one of instinctive
self-preservation.
To that end, she'd had mentally composed a letter of resignation.
She'd
start a new life somewhere else, somewhere with lots of bright
sunshine and
where no handsome blond vampires lurked to steal her heart. It
was only
when she realized that she was sitting on the beach with tears
running down
her face and sobbing uncontrollably that she knew she could not
bear to
never see Nicholas Knight again. She stopped trying to deny that
she was
attracted to Nick and wanted their relationship to be more than
'just
friends'. She knew that to totally fulfill what she'd thought was
their
mutual desire for one another would, beyond doubt, place her in
the
position of being either killed or brought across, yet she still
ached for
him. 'Because no matter what, I love him with every fiber of my
being.'
She'd admitted to herself.
This realization had forced her to acknowledge the almost
certainty that,
if she hadn't totally alienated him with her behavior, it would
mean
stepping into the darkness of Nick's world. Yet, to her thinking,
any
existence that held the love that she'd felt from him that
Valentine's Eve
night was not dark. Natalie knew that so long as Nick was a part
of her
life, she would be content to bask in the warming light of his
love.
The flight attendants were moving down the aisle of the plane and
Nat took
a deep breath as she gave a final, careful thought to what she
was about to
do. Her heart told her that her decision was the only possible
one and she
put her seatback in the upright position, getting ready to land
and to face
her future. She said a silent prayer that she hadn't waited too
long, that
her anger and behavior at that last meeting with Nick had not
driven him
from Toronto.
Nick got out of bed, he'd been unable to sleep anyway, and padded
downstairs to the kitchen. He hadn't really rested since Nat had
stormed
out of the loft over a week ago. He had stood there, powerless
because of
the sunlight outside to go after her, calling her name. He'd
spent the
next several hours trying to reach her by phone to no avail. That
night,
when he'd at last been able to go to her apartment she'd was
already gone.
He'd gone to the morgue in search of her and found out from Grace
that Nat
had taken an extended leave of absence. Grace seemed to think
that she'd be
back about three weeks, but Nick feared that she might never
return. He'd
spent the ten days since then praying that she would call, but
his phone
had stayed silent. Nick sighed and pulled a bottle from the
fridge.
Eschewing a glass, he took several long swallows from it as he
crossed to
the couch.
Sitting down, the bottle cradled in his lap, he allowed his
thoughts to
drift back to that night at Azure. The thought of what might have
happened
to her chilled Nick to the core. If he hadn't gotten to Azure
when he did,
Nick had no doubts that LaCroix would have drained her and then
left her
dead body for Nick to find. Nick had lied to LaCroix to save her
life, and
hurt her terribly in the process. Now, she was gone and there was
no
certainty that he'd ever see her again. In 800 years, he had
never known
such misery. Nick knew he could find Nat if he really tried, he
had the
resources to hire the best private detectives around, but he
wasn't sure
that he had the right to do so. He admitted to himself that he
was, in
fact, afraid that she would reject him if he did find her. Nick
knew that
he could not exist if that happened.
He tried to figure out how everything had gone so wrong. He'd
hoped, in the
first days following Valentine's Day, that his efforts to make
her forget
his own deep love for her and the ordeal with LaCroix had worked.
Even
though it was painful to him, he'd drawn comfort from the fact
that she was
safe and he could at least still be a friend to her. He wished
now that he
had admitted his love for Nat to LaCroix and brought her across.
Even
though it would have meant condemning her to an existence without
the sun,
at least he would have her with him.
Two weeks after Valentine's Day, Nat had stormed in and then out
of the
loft, her memory back. The fact that it had, ultimately, only
lasted two
weeks told him just how strong an individual Nat was. Not that
he'd had any
doubt of that, her strength was but one of the things that had
drawn him to
her. He'd fought against the attraction he felt for her, but he
had always
known in his heart that he was deeply in love with her. He longed
to wake
with her in his arms, to know all of her and, although a part of
him wished
to deny it, to have her beside him for eternity. He'd existed for
almost
800 years and never felt this way toward another woman, not even
Alyssa,
who he'd married. Nat was a ray of golden light in his otherwise
dark
existence. When, finally, he'd admitted to her how much he cared
for her,
how much he loved her, he had never been happier. Even though he
had
refused, at that time, to risk her by fully consummating their
love, they
had been able to find some satisfaction for their burning need
for each
other. Nick leaned his head back against the couch's back, red
tinted tears
of loss silently leaking from his eyes, remembering that one
wonderful night.
Nat gathered her bags from the carousel at the airport and headed
for her
car in the parking garage. She shoved the bags into the trunk,
got in the
car and started it. No one knew she was back in Toronto. Hoping
that she
would not find it empty, she drove to Nick's loft.
The sound of the lift's motor engaging startled Nick from his
reverie. He
concentrated and felt his heart thump as he recognized Nat's
heartbeat.
Sitting the bottle on the table, he stood and started toward the
lift door,
then stopped, unsure of why Nat was here. Used to so many
disappointments
over the centuries, he feared that she had come to tell him that
she was
leaving Toronto for good. Carefully hiding his fear beneath a
placid
surface, he waited for her to arrive.
Nat could feel her palms sweating as she rode up in the lift. She
knew
that Nick was still here, the Caddie parked neatly in the garage
had told
her that much. Now that she was here, she wondered at the wisdom
of just
barging in on Nick in the middle of the day. For all she knew he
wouldn't
want to see her after the way she'd treated him or he might be
with
Janette. Either way, she'd feel like a fool. When the lift came
to a halt,
she hesitated for a moment before grasping the door and opening
it. Her
eyes widened with surprise as she saw Nick, wearing a rumpled
pair of black
silk pajamas, standing a short distance from the door. Her eyes
met his,
and suddenly deep inside, Nat knew that coming here had not been
a mistake,
it had been the best thing she could have done. She stepped
forward, and
softly spoke his name.
Nick stood still hearing in her voice all of her feelings for
him. He was
afraid to move; afraid to speak, afraid that if he did he'd wake
up and
find that this was nothing more than a wonderful dream. He
watched as she
approached him, his eyes speaking the volumes that his mouth
could not.
Nat stood in front of Nick seeing the mixture of pain, hope and
love in his
eyes. "I spent a lot of time thinking this past week,"
she said. "I even,
at one point, decided that I should just pack up and leave
Toronto." She
swallowed and then, seeing the burst of pain that flitted across
Nick's
face, hurriedly continued. "That decision lasted all of
about 5 seconds,
until I realized that by doing that I would never see you
again." She
could feel tears forming in her eyes and dropped her gaze.
"I guess the one
thing that I truly discovered this week is that no matter what
the risks,
or what I might have to give up, I want...no, I need to be with
you." Nat
lifted her head, the tears slipping silently down her cheeks.
"The question
now is, do you want to be with me or did you mean what you told
LaCroix?"
Nick had listened first in anguish then with growing hope as Nat
spoke. He
could feel his breathing increase, as his love for her demanded
to be
released. When she finished speaking and stood looking at him, he
slowly
reached out and wiped the tears from her face. Cupping her face
in his
hands, he marveled at the good fortune that had brought him to
her three
years earlier. "If I hadn't convinced LaCroix that I didn't
love you, he
would have killed you." He told her softly. "I had to
lie to him. I'm sorry
I didn't explain everything to you, but I thought that it would
be better,
safer for you if I could make you forget."
Nat looked into his face, "Then when you told me that you
loved me and
wanted me, that was the truth?" She could hear her heart
pounding with relief.
"I love you and want to be with you more than I have ever
wanted anything
in my existence, even my mortality." He whispered as he
leaned forward and
captured her lips with his own. He kissed her with great
tenderness,
knowing that he had to be truthful with her, had to be certain
that she
fully understood the risk of loving him. He felt her response to
him, felt
her need and her desire. Breaking the kiss, he held her against
him, then
led her to the soft leather couch.
Nat leaned against him feeling his arms cuddling her against him.
"I was so
afraid that you wouldn't be here. I'm sorry for how I treated you
before I
left." She confessed. The kiss he gave her told her more
eloquently than
words that he had forgiven her.
"I can't let you walk into this blindly, Nat. I love and
care about you too
much." Nick said, as they snuggled in each other's arms.
"If we are to
truly be together, it will mean one of two things."
Nat nodded her head. "I know, I thought about that,
too." She looked up at
him, a sad smile on her lips. " I know that for us to be
together, to make
love to one another, means that I'll most likely end up being
drained by
you and dying or by you bringing me across into your world."
She saw the
sadness in his eyes, and reached up to lovingly caress his face.
"I know
how much you hate what you are, how you feel that you are somehow
evil, but
I don't share that opinion."
"Nat, there are things that I've done, that I fear will
cause you to loathe
me. If we make love and I take your blood, neither one of us will
have any
secrets from the other. I couldn't bear to have you hate
me." Nick said, as
he leaned his cheek against her soft, tousled hair.
"I know that you've done terrible things in the past, Nick,
but they don't
matter to me. I know the person you are now, and that person is
good, not
evil. I could never hate you for the past, it would be like
hating myself."
Nat spoke softly, but the sincerity of her words rang out.
"I want to make
love to you, fully and completely. I'm willing to be a part of
your
world." She looked into his eyes. "I'm not afraid of
your world, Nick. To
me, trading the light of the sun for the ability to fully be with
you is a
pretty good deal." She laid her hand on his. "Besides,
I still fully intend
to find a cure, it'll just be for both of us."
Nick looked into her eyes and nodded, then lifted her hand to his
lips. "I
want you that much and more." He said. Taking her by the
hand, he led her
to the stairs. "If you change your mind at any point, just
tell me and I'll
stop." He could feel his desire for her burning in his
veins.
Nat smiled at him, a smile full of love and joy with no trace of
sorrow. "I
won't change my mind."
Together, they climbed to the bedroom. There, Nick took her again
in his
arms, kissing her with a passion that he'd not felt in centuries.
He sighed
with pleasure as she met his passion with a fire of her own. His
tongue
eagerly parted her soft lips, seeking and finding the warm
moistness of her
mouth. He caught his hand in her hair, holding her firmly, but
with great
gentleness as he explored her mouth, tasting the sweetness of
her. He could
feel her hands as they roamed along his back, even as her body
molded
against him.
Nat felt her world constrict until all she was aware of was Nick.
Nick's
hands moving along her body and holding her head. Nick's tongue
as he
kissed her with a passion she had only dreamed of existing.
Nick's firm,
cool body pressing against her own flushed one. She gave herself
over to
her feelings, surprising herself with the wanton way she explored
the
planes and curves of his body. Boldly, she reached up and undid
the buttons
of his pajama top, sliding her fingers over the smooth skin of
his chest
and back. She could feel his body tremble as her hands caressed
his skin.
As his hand found her breast and began to knead and play with it,
she
moaned deep in her throat.
Nick could feel Nat's arousal and it fanned his own desire into
flames of
need. He wanted nothing more than to lose himself in the taste
and feel of
her, but he knew that he had to have control to ensure that he
would stop
in time to be able to bring her across. Regretfully, he at last
broke the
kiss.
"Nat, you have to be certain that this is what you
want." He said, as he
lifted her face to look deeply into her eyes. "Once I drink
from you, drain
you to the point of near death, there is no turning back. You
either have
to be brought across or you will die." He stroked her cheek,
trying to not
let his overwhelming desire for her influence her decision.
She looked at him, love shining in her eyes. "I understand,
and I'm sure. I
want to be with you, Nick. Forever."
He closed his eyes, and when he reopened them they were shining
gold, his
beast released. Nat looked at him, and then laid her head against
his
chest. "I am not afraid of you. I know what you are, and I
love you."
Nick lifted her in his arms and laid her on the bed. "I
promise you that
I'll take care of you. I won't let what happened with Richard
happen to
you." He said, as he tenderly stroked her face. 'Or what
happened to
Alyssa', he silently promised.
Nat looked trustingly at him. "Thank you. That was the one
fear that I had
in making this decision." She blushed slightly. "I want
to make love to
you, Nick. I want to know all of you. I love you. I love both the
man and
the vampire."
Nick kissed her softly. "I have never known anyone like you.
When you left,
I was so afraid that I had lost you. I love you, and I will love
you
forever." Nick could hear his voice breaking with emotion.
LaCroix had told
him that vampires couldn't love, but Nick knew now that LaCroix
was wrong.
"I have to have control of my beast to do this," he
explained to Nat. "If I
try it while we are making love, I might not be able to stop in
time. When
you come back to me, then we will be one, forever."
Nat nodded her understanding and turned her head, allowing Nick
free access
to the smooth, white column of her slender throat. She only
gasped
slightly as she felt the sharp prick of his fangs, and then her
mind was
immersed in Nick's feelings and memories. She saw the many times
he'd
killed, felt his anguish over those deaths and, more strongly
than all the
others, she experienced the depth of his love for her. She clung
to that,
while trying to send her own feelings of love back to him, as the
darkness
overcame her.
Nat suddenly found herself at the edge of a lake. Before her
stood an open
doorway and, just in front of the door, Nat recognized a figure
that she'd
not seen in many years. With a cry of joy, she hurried toward the
person.
"Is it really you, daddy?" Nat said, tears running down
her cheeks.
The man folded her into his embrace. "Yes, Nattie, it's
me." He kissed the
top of her head. "Your mother and brother are waiting for
you inside. Come,
with me and we'll all be together again."
Nat started forward but stopped as a sudden feeling of unease
swept over
her. "I'll come, but I can't stay. I have to go back. Nick
needs me." She
saw the sorrow that filled her father's eyes.
"If you come with me you can never go back, Nattie." He
said quietly. "If
you return to your Nick, there is a chance that you may never be
allowed to
join us. You must decide."
Nat looked at the beautiful light that was streaming from the
door. A part
of her was drawn to it, but her heart knew what her decision had
to be.
"I'm sorry, daddy. I have to go back to Nick. I love him and
I want to be
with him. He is my happiness."
Her father nodded. "I knew that would be your answer, but I
had to make
sure that you had a choice." Once again he kissed her.
"Go and remember
that there is nothing stronger than love. You and Nick share a
powerful
love, use it and perhaps one day you will both have your heart's
desire."
Nat turned and began to walk away.
When the first taste of Nat's blood filled his mouth, Nick was
immediately
lost in the warmth of the love he felt from her. All of her past,
every
hurt and every triumph she'd ever known was now a part of him,
too. He
savored the knowledge of her, but it was her love for him that
outshone
everything else. He drank deeply, sending his own thoughts of
love to her.
Nick stopped drinking when he felt Nat slip into deep
unconsciousness. He
listened as her heart struggled to carry the little bit of blood
left in
her body and knew that unless he gave her his own blood, she
would soon
die. He also knew that Nat had to make the ultimate choice to
return to him.
Opening his wrist, he collected a glass of blood. Lifting her
into his
arms, he placed the glass to her lips. Memories of how he had
done this
with Alyssa caused him to say a silent prayer that Nat would
indeed come
back to him. At first, it seemed as if she would not. Then, just
as Nick
was beginning to despair, Nat swallowed. In moments, her eyelids
fluttered
open and Nick was gazing into her softly glowing, golden eyes.
Nat saw the relief that washed over Nick's features and the
tremendous love
in his eyes. She smiled, her heart calm, knowing that her
decision had been
the right one. She could feel the change in her; the colors of
the room
seemed to glow slightly and she was aware that she could hear
many small
sounds that she'd never noticed before. All this was pushed to
the back of
her mind as she felt Nick's lips close over hers.
Nick drew Nat into a deep, passionate embrace, his tongue
plundering her
mouth as his desire was at last unleashed. He felt her respond
and
carefully, he teased her fangs into dropping, thrilling at the
unabashed
moan of pleasure that emanated from her throat. He could sense,
through the
newborn link that they would share for as long as they both
existed, that
she was as fervent as he to finally consummate their love. Nick
was
determined not to rush this moment; he had waited for so long to
be able to
make love to Nat, that he wanted to savor each exquisite
sensation to the
fullest.
As Nick's tongue caused her fangs to drop for the first time, Nat
felt a
wave of intense pleasure run through her body. Never had she
imagined that
anything so wonderful could exist. She was aware of a mental
connection to
Nick that both calmed and excited her at the same time. Knowing
that she
would never again be totally alone in the world calmed her but,
at the same
time, the mental link seemed to intensify every delectable
feeling that
Nick's mouth and hands were producing. She could feel her whole
body crying
out for him, wanting to feel him in her and to know all that he
was. As he
removed her clothing, slowly dropping kisses on each newly
revealed inch of
flesh, she arched against him. She lay back absorbing each of the
feelings
that coursed through her. She moaned as Nick briefly halted his
attentions
to her, but when she saw that he was merely divesting himself of
his own
clothing she moved to assist him. It took them several minutes to
accomplish this task, as neither of them could refrain from
touching and
kissing one another's bodies. At last, they both stood nude
beside the bed.
"I want to make this special for you, Nat." Nick said
as he gently laid her
back on the bed. He joined her and softly trailed his fingers
along her
supple curves. "I want you to know exactly how much you mean
to me."
Nat ran her fingers through his hair. "I do know, Nick. When
I had to
choose, to come back to you or to go through the doorway, I knew
in my
heart that there was only one option I could take. I had to be
with you and
I knew that your love would always keep me safe and make me
happy."
"I pray that I never cause you to feel otherwise." Nick
said as he claimed
her mouth with his own. He dropped his lips to her throat and
then down to
her soft breasts. As Nat moaned with delight he took first one
nipple, then
the other, into his mouth. He sucked on each, and teased them to
hardened
nubs with his tongue. At the same time, his hand slowly stroked
the firm,
creamy flesh of her inner thighs before seeking the wiry mass of
curls that
guarded her innermost core. His gently probing fingers found her
slick
moistness and wetting them, he began to softly stoke her clit.
Nat gasped as Nick began to lightly stroke her, causing soft
waves of
delicious tension to emanate from her womb throughout her body.
This,
combined with his careful attentions to her breasts, caused her
fangs to
once again descend and her eyes to glow a deep golden color. As
Nick
kissed and licked her body, his lips like soft velvet against her
skin, she
lost herself in the flood of pleasure she was experiencing. She
reached
for Nick's hard manhood and closed her hand around him. She felt
his
pleasure at this action; both in the shiver that ran through his
body and
in the mental link she now shared with him. To be able to feel
his pleasure
only increased her own and she cried out wordlessly at the joy of
it.
Nick slowly increased the speed and pressure of his strokes,
stoking the
fires that raged in both of them until he could no longer deny
his need to
feel his shaft surrounded by the taut slickness of Nat's core. He
deftly
slid his hand away from her just as he eased his thick, throbbing
member
inside of her. The upward thrust of her hips enabled him to bury
his cock
deeply in her.
Nat felt Nick slide his cock inside her and eagerly accepted him
fully.
This was what she had dreamt of happening for three long years
and her
happiness was so intense she felt tears leaking from her eyes.
Nick softly
kissed them away, murmuring words of love to her, and slowly
began to move
in her. She wrapped her legs around his waist, meeting his every
thrust
with her own. Her hands roamed over his body, pausing to play
with his
nipples before moving downward to grasp his butt. She loved the
feel of him
in her. He filled her completely and with each thrust she felt
both his
pleasure and her own. Together they climbed to heights of
pleasure that
neither had ever dreamed existed. They held themselves at this
level for
many minutes, until Nick felt Nat's overwhelming urge for blood.
Kissing
her softly, he turned his head, baring his neck to her.
"Drink my love," he
urged, "and know me as completely as I know you."
Nat hesitated for only a moment before her new vampiric instincts
took over
and she sank her fangs into Nick's throat. Her action triggered
both of
their orgasms, the mental link magnifying them until both cried
out with
release. Nick slid his hand beneath Nat's head, holding her in
position to
drink the blood she needed, even as he urged her to do so. Only
when he
could sense that her hunger had abated sufficiently did he at
last draw
away from her.
Nat realized that the images she'd received when Nick had taken
her blood
were but a fraction of what tasting his blood provided. Now she
knew Nick
in a way that no two mortals could ever know one another. She
knew his
dreams, dreams that revolved around her and a rather large number
of golden
or auburn haired children. 'If he thinks for one minute I'm going
to spend
THAT much time pregnant!' Nat thought, only to feel Nick's gentle
mental
laugh and a sudden reduction to a more manageable number of
children in his
hopes. 'Someday, I promise you.' Nat sent back to him. His love
caressed
her and she knew that she would never regret her decision to be
with him.
Nat's eyes returned to their soft blue color, as her whole body
seemed to
float in a warm tide of love. She gazed into Nick's now clear
blue eyes and
knew more joy than she'd experience in the whole of her life.
"Please tell
me that making love is going to be this good every time we do
it." She said
smiling.
Nick laughed and pulled her close to him. "Oh no, my dearest
heart. It will
get even better." He kissed her as she smiled up at him and
snuggled
against him. Reaching down, he drew a cover over them and they
rested.
The End