Eventually Trying to type exactly how I feel But half the time not knowing what is and isn’t real Stream of consciousness be damned I don’t know if I want to say all those things I planned. Does it hurt less this time because it’s happened before. Or is that the reason that it hurts even more? Do I curl up in a ball and pretend it is through? Can I forgive, not forget, and go on loving you? It’s different you know… when it happens for real Impossible to tell how I should and shouldn’t feel It hurts, did you know, to imagine the kiss When I never believed it would come to this And this moment you shared with some other girl Becomes the ugliest part of my ugly world And as I desperately try to brush it away Clean up the mess and move on with my days It grows and it gathers like a cloud full of rain Expanding and clogging my entire brain I know it’s a tough time for you to be you Trust me it’s just as tough for me too But hiding away and pretending it’s fine Is not the best way to keep from losing your mind So just talk to me, let me know what you’re thinking And maybe, together, we can keep this ship from sinking This year will be tough, of that there’s no doubt But I do believe that we can work it out And I know we need time to know that it’s real I’m not trying to push you into a bad deal And we can say we’re too young for the rest of our lives but in this world, baby, only the strong survive We can each live our lives and continue just dating Until we are sure that this love won’t be fading And when the time comes all I’m asking from you Is that you try to see where I’m coming from too Cuz right now you’re right… we’re not ready for more We’re not even in sight of that particular door I love you, I know, or I wouldn’t be here I would have just left, this morning in tears But I believe for some reason that our love is worth more And stupidly I even believe it more than before your eyes they connect right into my heart And I love how you hold me when we’re not apart When we’re excited we can talk on for hours About business, or dreams, or the color of flowers. And you make me believe I can change who I am And it feels like you might actually give a damn So please let me know what I need to do To make this love work out with you Cuz I’m willing to work, I’m willing to try Just as long as you promise to not ever lie To work with me and talk and share things with me And see where this love leads eventually.
