"Al Heaven": Chapter Nineteen - by Char

Disclaimer: This story contains adult material and may not be appropriate for those under 18.

Comments: Send the author an E-mail, or leave a message on the Al Fan Fiction Forum.

Summary: The Grieving Process At the Hospital�

Marcy: Will, Jen, you didn�t have to come back.

Jen: Yes, we did.

Will: You coming home?

Marcy: I was only staying there because of Al, and he�

Will: Would want you to continue, like I do.

Marcy: I can�t leave.

John, Al�s father, walks up.

John: Marcy, there�s nothing more we can do for him.

John stares at Will and Jen, and throws Al�s coat, as he�d been holding it, as if he was holding onto Al himself.

John: Marcy and I are� having some difficulty with losing Al.

Jen�s eyes well up and her head shakes in disbelief. She begins to collapse, as Will holds on. Jen wants to give into her own loss, but something inside her pulls her focus to Marcy.

Jen: Will is right. And I�ll stay there too, with you. My mom is getting out of St. Anne�s tomorrow and I need a place to stay anyways.. I might as well bunk with my brother.

Marcy: So much of Al is there.

Jen: Maybe its not a good place for you to go then.

Marcy: I want to be with his things.

Will: So it�s settled.

John: Will and Jen are right.

Marcy: What about Gabrielle?

John: We have each other. You come see her tomorrow. Take a sleeping pill if you have to.

Marcy: What about you?

John: Come here.

John hugs Marcy.

John: You will always be like a daughter to me. Gabrielle and I will ALWAYS be here for you.

Marcy pulls back and looks at John.

Marcy: What are we gonna do without Al?

Will: What Al would want us to do without him. There�s gonna be some rough days ahead.

After settling back into Will�s place�

After a rough night, Marcy pleads with Will and Jen to leave her to do some things on her own. The next night, Marcy goes to the radio station to remember Al with his fans, Although REVEALING FOR THE FIRST TIME that Al was the voice. She finds comfort with a voice remembrance in the park. Will�s Place�

Will is drinking. Jen is out.

Marcy: I can�t stay here forever.

Will: I need you.

Marcy looks up at Will quizzically.

Marcy: Al loved you too, ya know. And tell ya the truth. I need you too.

John and Gabrielle offered to take me to North Carolina with them because they are burying Al there, but I wanted to be here.

Will: I feel like we became friends too Marcy, you and I.

Marcy: We ARE!

Will looks pathetic. Marcy puts her arms around Will and he is able to let out the tears he�s been holding back.

Will: I know he wouldn�t want me to�

Marcy: We all have to let it go in our own way. Oh, Will. It�s okay. You make me feel needed. Besides�

Marcy laughs in that way that is intended to break up the sadness�

Marcy: Everyone tries to be so strong around me, and sometimes I just need someone to be real.

Will pulls back from Marcy and stares into her eyes. He leans in to kiss her, and Marcy jumps back.

Marcy: I� I�

Will: Ohhhhh.. I�m sorry. Oh, man. What am I doing?

Marcy: I didn�t mean�

Will: Of course not� I just... I�m in pain and I�m� look... I�m not being rational. Don�t leave. I won�t do it again. I promise� it was just� Marcy: I don�t know if I can stay here.

Jen walks in, overhearing the last comment.

Jen: Of course you can.

Will: There you go. Jen lives here now. It�s not like its just me and you Marcy. I promise�

Will looks into Marcy�s eyes.

Will: You won�t regret trusting staying here.

Jen: I�ve been meaning to talk to Marcy about something. Hope you won�t mind me excusing us to our room.

Will: Go ahead.

Will�s eyes plead with Marcy as she walks with Jen.

Al�s old bedroom, now Marcy and Jen�s room�

Jen: I noticed you were ill this morning, but you were in a hurry so I didn�t ask.

Marcy: Its nothing. It�s hard facing the day knowing I won�t ever see Al.

Jen: Hea� you know, its cool you got to be with him. Was it as beautiful as you hoped?

Marcy shakes her head and smiles, Although blushing. She looks at Jen, recognizing she can talk about it with her.

Marcy: I can�t believe I�m talking about this. But I can�t share my memories with Al. I feel strange talking about sex but� I never felt more beautiful than when Al. He� I felt his life� how do I explain� he was moving inside of me.

Marcy cups her mouth. Jen holds her. Jen replays Marcy using the words �I felt his life� and wonders if she is with child, but finds the moment inappropriate to bring it up.

Jen: All I can do for Al anymore except be here for you, huh?

Marcy: Be here for me� only because of Al?

Jen: That�s not what I meant. You know I love you right?

Marcy shakes her head as if to clear the cobwebs�

Marcy: I swear I can be so insecure.

Jen: Even bad things can lead to good sometimes.

Marcy: What do you mean?

Jen: Well, you might not have been with Al if you hadn�t been insecure. It motivated you to take charge, and go after your man. Okay, so it�s not the healthiest thing in the world. Nice to know you aren�t perfect. I wouldn�t feel very good about being your friend if you were a saint. That would be a little difficult.

Marcy: Me, a saint?

Jen: I would have nominated you. Listen, Will is trying to convince me to sing with him tonight.

Marcy: Are you?

Jen: Maybe. He thinks�

Marcy: What?

Jen: It� cathartic. Maybe you should sing too. You like to sing.

Marcy: You mean, it would help us express our pain. I didn�t know you could sing.

Jen: Neither did you. Besides, Flash and her band is back from playing some gigs in other cities. I suspect there will be an appearance tonight. Flash wanted to be back here for Al when she heard he was so ill, but when she heard he was gone already, she kept on schedule a couple days. Will needs our support. Just when he got his band together, and let go of being part of Flash�s world� she�s back.

Marcy: He�s really hung up on her?

Jen: I wouldn�t call it that. I�m not really sure what to call it actually.

I mean, he�s happy she�s around. He loves her band, her talent.. everything.

But it might have been easier if she wasn�t around.

Marcy: You go on ahead. I need some time to talk to Al. I mean, I know I can�t REALLY talk to him, but I need to express some things.

The Karaoke party at the University�

Will: So you never did tell me about when you offered your body to Al.

Jen: That day we took the bikes.

Will: Wow. He never said a word. Jen: Wasn�t that simple. I didn�t say anything outright. It so

rt of, almost happened.

Will: What stopped the two of you.

Jen: He hesitated. Marcy. I knew it. In some ways, I�m glad it happened, because I think I finaly got that I was never going have my moment with Al.

Will: So did you pick a song to help you grieve?

Jen: Yeah, but I had to have someone record it for me because this is the song I wanted to sing. It�s more like a song telling Al how I feel, felt.. so confusing. At least no one will suspect that�s what I�m singing about. And don�t worry� I brought the music to the band earlier today. That�s where I was� so I would at least do a decent job making a fool of myself. Will: You won�t. And no one is expecting professionalism. It�s just karaoke.

Jen: The crowd can be brutal. If I make a fool of myself, I know who to�

Will: You won�t. You ready?

Jen: As long as you are. Flash just walked in.

Will stares at Flash, and Jen moves toward the stage.

Jen sings �You Owe Me Nothing In Return� by Alanis Morrisette [excerpt given]

�I�ll give you countless amounts of outright acceptance if you want it

I will give you encouragement to choose the path that you want if you need it

You can speak of anger and doubts your fears and freak-outs and I�ll hold it

You can share your so-called shame-filled accounts of times in your life and I won�t judge it

And there are no strings attached�

Jen: I see you singing Flash.. you know the song.. come on up here and join me�

Flash steps up to finish the song with Jen. At the end, Flash smiles at Jen.

Flash: We�ve come a long way Jen.

Jen: Times like this makes you remember what�s important.

Joe is walking up.

Joe: Great performance.

Flash: I�ll see you two later.

Flash winks at Jen, as her eyes trail to Joe.

Jen: You spend a lot of time at The Garage listening to bands for a school teacher.

Joe: You think it means I�m not human.

Jen: What, did you tell a white lie a month ago and go to church to ask for forgiveness?

Joe: What is your problem?

Joe turns away.

Jen: Wait! I�m sorry. I�

Joe turns back around.

Joe: We�re all hurting.

Jen: Look, you�re a good boy. That�s enough to scare anyone.

Joe: Marcy doesn�t scare you.

Jen: So she�s a saint?

Joe: No, but my point is.. neither am I.

Jen: Really? Would you like to demonstrate?

Jen bats her eyelashes.

Joe: You might want to rethink your offer. I might just take you up on it. Rex walks up.

Rex: Jen, no sense hanging around with people you can�t have fun with.

Jen: Oh, and I can have fun with you? Pulease.

Rex grabs Jen in a sexual way, as if to pull her away with desire, and Jen slaps him.

Jen: Don�t assume anything about me. You don�t know a damn thing.

Joe gets up in Rex�s face to defend her.

Jen: Joe, back off. You don�t know me either.

Jen walks away from the both of them to talk to Al, as if he could hear her.

Jen: Al, I�m never gonna find anyone like you, and I blew the chance I had with you. Whoever I�m with, I�ll have you to thank for being an example of what I want in a man. I only wish I could know if you truly forgave me. I mean, of course you would say you do, because of Marcy and all. I guess I�ll never know. All I can do is go on, and do the best I can.

Will: Hea Jen! We�re up next.

Jen: You�re right, ya know� about singing.

Will holds out his hand to his sister in a gentlemanly way. The song is announced.

Jen: Frank Sinatra???

Will tilts his head.

Will: It�s karaoke! Besides, I can�t do the anger and sadness thing right now, can you?

Will�s Place�

Marcy: So Al, maybe we could have a few nights like this. Just the two of us� at least until I feel like I want to rejoin the world.

Al appears as a ghost.

Al: Marcy, I�m here.






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