"Al Heaven": Chapter Eighteen - by Char

Disclaimer: Al is not in this chapter about Al. In some ways, it�s true to my fan fiction as I wanted Al to react to others in my fiction rather than TELL his point of view, so as to let readers DISCOVER Al. As well, I won�t rewrite what the show has already done so amazingly, such as the Gabrielle/Al scene. If I don�t write something contrary to the actual storyline, then the canvas of the powers that be is the canvas. As per my choice when I decided to write this, the reality of the show is the backdrop of my fan fiction so I�m between a rock and a hard place, aside from losing my muse over all the sadness. There is no guarantee that the death of Al is not just a dream sequence, so I can�t go too far until I know one way or another. I will continue this fiction ABOUT AL, but not including Al. I�m going to write this as if he�s in a coma for now, until we know what character NM will be playing. If we actually lose NM and all the connections to the canvas, I�ll terminate him as a symbol of something that the players find inspiration in. - Char

Comments: Send the author an E-mail, or leave a message on the Al Fan Fiction Forum.

Summary: Jen Reaches out to Marcy, Al and Marcy Connect Physically

The waiting room at the Hospital�

A doctor gives the speech that they did all they could do to save Al, but he is gone. He came to the hospital earlier that day extremely ill. He caught a virus that everyone else had but he couldn�t fight it, only to find out it was due to a failing liver, harmed from his prior drug use.

Will: It�s not right.

Jen: What in life is?

Will looks to the ground.

Will: I wanted to believe that you can get past your mistakes in life, and only be better for the gambles you take. Yet, Al is here, facing death, all because his liver failed because of the drugs, as if kicking them meant NOTHING�

Will�s face shows absolute contempt for the universe.

Jen: Tell me about it.

Will: Hmph. We Rappaports really have a corner on that market, don�t we?

Jen: You joke at a time like this?

Will: You think Al would have it any other way?

Jen: He never knew how I felt about him.

Will pauses, and a tear falls as he looks at his sister sideways.

Will: I think so. Yeah, I do. I think he knows how much you care. He�s been with Marcy, and he believed in you enough to know that you understood where each of you stood. That counts. It�s not something you have to spell out when you have that understanding. I just wonder if he knew what he meant to me though. We never had a chance to work through a misunderstanding.

Jen: What are you talking about?

Will: I was giving him advice about Marcy.

Jen gives Will a look akin to someone waving a finger of disapproval, as if she asked �what were you thinking?�

Will: I know. I just wanted to see them make it. Jen, we never had any influences in our lives that would give us hope in a relationship like they were building. I had my doubts. I wanted to believe, but�

Jen looks at Will with understanding.v Will: Sometimes all anyone needs is that look you are giving me now sis..

someone who just understands.

Jen: And Al got that from you.

Will: I hope so. What else do I have to offer?

Jen: Couldn�t be worse than me, hoping I could bait him with my body, as if that was some kind of prize. How sick. What a loser I�ve been. And you? I swear you can be as insecure as Marcy at times. Don�t you know who you are? That performance the night before this all happened... when Flash left with the band to go on tour, and you stepped up� All Al could talk about was how great your performance was and how much the song you chose was so representative of how he felt. How ironic it is now. But you helped him express himself, maybe helped him make a little peace with what he would later realize he was facing.

Will: Don�t beat yourself up. Al�s a sweetheart of a guy. I�m sure he understood, and if I believe that, maybe I should believe he understood me too.

Will looks at Jen with sincerity and sings some of the song from the performance in a lullaby tone (The Offspring�s Amazed): Sometimes I think I�m gonna drown, cause everyone around�s so hollow, I�m alone. Sometimes I think I�m going down, but no one makes a sound, they follow, and I�m alone. Yeah, if I made it, I�d be amazed, just to find tomorrow. One more day and I�d be amazed, just to see it waiting.

Jen pipes in: And if I made it, I�m still alone, no more hope for better days, but if I could change, I�d really be amazed.

Will: Join the band.

Jen: And what, be the rock slut?

Will laughes in that way you can be ironic at a time like this.

Will: You get it about me?

Jen: So did Al.

Will pauses and looks in to Jen�s eyes before asking: You know?

Will looks at Jen to ensure she really knows Al is the voice before he spills.

A tear falls from Jen�s eyes.

Will: You love him so much, you were happy for them, weren�t you?!! Not very Jen, but very cool.

Jen�s eyes well as she peers into Will�s.

Will: Well, if there�s anything we should hope is that he knows how loved he is. But jeez, Marcy walks up and looks at Jen�s eyes drowning. No words are necessary as they embrace, and talk with their arms around each other.

Jen: Here�s a tissue sweetie. You just left his bedside?

Marcy: His folks have been great. They�ve been so supportive of me. They helped me leave the room. I just� I don�t know what I�m going to do.

Jen: We�ll figure it out together.

Marcy: Sorry, I overheard what Will said about you loving Al enough to be happy for us. Jen, love is always beautiful. Your love is real, so real that you want only the best for him. I didn�t have to ask Al to know that it mattered to him that you ended up caring for him.

Jen: And I�ll always be here for you.

Janine walks up and catches Jen�s eyes, who stares with distrust. Jen pulls away from Marcy, as to let her know of her presence. Marcy turns to see for herself. Marcy gulps, and then smiles as if it�s a performance. Marcy: Janine. So gracious of you to come to be here for Al. I know it would mean the world to him.

Janine: I have nothing but the utmost respect for you Marcy, and I just want to support you.

Marcy: Thank you, truly.

Will is staring at Janine to let her know that Marcy still doesn�t know.

Will: Can you excuse me, Marcy and my sister a minute? I need you to stay though. I need a favor.

Janine: Sure.

Will: Marcy, there�s something you need to know. Al wanted to tell you something, but he was scared. See, the voice didn�t� sleep with Janine. Whatever you heard was a misunderstanding, because the voice�

Marcy: Oh my God. It was right in front of me. I mean� the voice missed work that whole week Will was with me in the motel room. Somehow I knew it deep down. Oh God, he thought I�d freak. He was scared to tell me.

Jen: So you understand?

Marcy: You knew?

Jen: I just figured it out. I saw him stepping out of the booth at the show last week, when the voice hosted.

Marcy: But Al was at that party.

Jen: What a cover, huh? Right under our noses. I wanted to ask him why you didn�t know, but, uh, I didn�t get the chance.

Will: Janine, we just told Marcy.

Janine walks over.

Janine: Maybe I can make you copies of the tapes.

Marcy: That would mean the world to me.

Janine: We�ll do a memorial show. Maybe you want to piece together the segments that were most representative of him. You know him better than anyone. He loved you, and you were his biggest fan too. If it�s going to be too emotionally tough though, I could try to do it.

Marcy: I want to. I want� I want to see his things.

Janine: Of course. One more thing. Do you want to talk to his parents about whether you all think he�d want to be revealed as the voice at this point?

Do you think he�d have wanted it?

Jen whispers in Will�s ears: If he�s really gone, I hope she�s carrying a part of him.

Will: A piece you lost?

Jen looks up at Will.

Jen: It would be all we have left of him.

Jen pauses and turns to look at her brother.

Jen: You need to perform tonight. You can�t sit here and dwell. You have to go on with your life. Al would want you to.

Will: And you would know that.

Jen: I don�t have a connection with him like Marcy.

Will: Just don�t discount your own empathy for him.

Jen: You and your philosophy.

Jen fusses Will�s hair in a sisterly way.

Marcy: What are you two whispering about?

Will: I�m going to step out to perform tonight.

Marcy: You should.

Jen: Why not come? You should take a break.

Marcy: I can�t step away.

Will: I got the guy covering Al�s shift at the radio to cover my show tonight. Have your radio tuned in. It�s going to be dedicated to him. Marcy: I�ll have the radio by my side, and I honestly believe Al will hear you.

Will and Jen pipe in together: You bet!

Will and Jen look at each other.

Later that evening� emanating from Marcy�s radio� Will�s band he finally put together, Chaos, is covering a Creed song, One Last Breath�

�Please come now I think I�m falling

I'm holding on to all I think is safe

It seems I found the road to nowhere

And I'm trying to escape

I yelled back when I heard thunder

But I'm down to my last breath

And with it let me say

Hold me now

I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking

That maybe six feet

Ain't so far down

I'm looking down now that it's over

Reflecting on all my mistakes

I thought I found the road to somewhere

Somewhere in His grace

I cried out to heaven save me

But I'm down to one last breath

And with it let me say

Let me say

Hold me now

I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking

That maybe six feet

Ain't so far down

Sad eyes follow me

But I still believe there's something left for me

So please come stay with me

Cause I still believe there's something left for you and me

For you and me

For you and me

Hold me now

I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking

Hold me now

I�m six feet from the edge and I�m thinking

Maybe six feet ain�t so far down

Please come now I think I�m falling

I'm holding on to all l I think is safe�






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