IN A TOKYO HOTEL
Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are
not person to do such things is please not to read
notis.
IN ANOTHER JAPANESE HOTEL ROOM
Please to bathe inside the tub.

IN A BUCHAREST HOTEL LOBBY
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that
time we regret that you will be unbearable.

IN A BELGRADE HOTEL ELEVATOR
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If
the cabin should enter more persons, each one should
press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going
alphabetically by national order.

IN A PARIS HOTEL ELEVATOR
Please leave your values at the front desk. 

IN A HOTEL IN ATHENS
Visitors are expected to complain between the hours of
9 and 11am daily.

IN A YUGOSLAVIAN HOTEL
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job
of the chambermaid.

IN A JAPANESE HOTEL
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

IN THE LOBBY OF A MOSCOW HOTEL ACROSS FROM A RUSSIAN
ORTHODOX MONASTERY
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous
Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are
buried daily except Thursday.

ON THE MENU OF A SWISS RESTAURANT
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

IN AN AUSTRIAN HOTEL CATERING TO SKIERS
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of
repose in the boots of ascension.

IN A TOKYO BAR
Special cocktails for the lady with nuts.

IN A COPENHAGEN AIRLINE TICKET OFFICE
We take your bags and send them in all directions.

ON THE DOOR OF A MOSCOW HOTEL ROOM
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are
welcome to it.

IN A NORWEGIAN COCKTAIL LOUNGE
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

AT A BUDAPEST ZOO
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any
suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

IN THE OFFICE OF A ROMAN DOCTOR
Specialist in women and other diseases.

IN AN ACAPAULCO HOTEL
The manager has personally passed all the water served
here.

IN A TOKYO SHOP
Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find
they're best in the long run.

FROM A JAPANESE INFORMATION BOOKLET ABOUT USING A
HOTEL AIR CONDITIONER
Cooles and Heates if you want just condition of warm
in your room, please control yourself.

FROM A BROCHURE OF A CAR RENTAL FIRM IN TOKYO
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the
horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first but if he still
obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigour.

TWO ENTRANCE SIGNS FROM A MAJORCAN SHOP ENTRANCE
English
well talking. Here speaching American.