HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION SHEET
                   
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                          MATERIALS SAFETY DATA SHEET

                          WOMEN - A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS

 ELEMENT:       Women

 SYMBOL:        Wo

 DISCOVERER:    Adam

 ATOMIC MASS:   Accepted at 53.6kg, but known to vary
from 40-200kg

 OCCURRENCES:   Copious quantities in all urban areas

 PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

 1.  Surface usually covered in painted film.
 2.  Boils at nothing; freezes without known reason.
 3.  Melts if given special treatment.
 4.  Bitter if incorrectly used.
 5.  Found in various states from virgin metal to
common ore.
 6.  Yields if pressure applied in correct places.

 CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

 1.  Has great affinity for gold, silver, and a range
of precious
       stones.
 2.  Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
 3.  May explode spontaneously without prior warning
and for no known
     reason.
 4.  Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases
greatly by saturation
      in alcohol.
 5.  Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

 COMMON USES:

 1.  Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
 2.  Very effective cleaning agent.

 TESTS:

 1.  Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in
the natural state.
 2.  Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

 HAZARDS:

 1.  Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
 2.  Illegal to possess more than one, although       
several can be
      maintained at different locations as long as
specimens do
      not come into direct  contact with each other.