Title:  Shattered Lives
Author: Nicky
Rating: PG
Category - JMPR
Spoilers: Up to Season 3 finale
Disclaimer:  The characters Miss Parker, Sydney, Jarod, Broots 
etc. and the fictional Centre, are all property of MTM, TNT and 
NBC Productions and used without permission. I'm not making any 
money out of this and no infringement is intended

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Shattered Lives
Part I:  Shattered Mind
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Miss Parker watches the waves crash against the shore.  Her mind 
seems to be as far away as her target, the elusive Jarod.  She 
couldn't seem to concentrate lately.  Her distraction was 
showing, especially in her work.  She hasn't been close to 
finding Jarod since he escaped again.  This is the closest 
they've been in awhile, but she only got this far because of 
Lyle's help.

"I can't believe we missed him again," Lyle says, shaking the 
sand out of his shoes.  "We track him all the way to this 
tropical island and can't even get our hands on him.  I don't 
know what's wrong with you, Sis, but you need to snap out of it."

Miss Parker continues to watch the waves.  She hears only the 
annoying buzzing of Lyle's voice.  She didn't care that Jarod got 
away.  She didn't care about anything anymore.  

"Parker!  Parker!  Are you even listening to me?"

"What?" she asks with a confused look on her face.  "Jarod?  We 
found him?"  

"Not even close.  He got away again.  Apparently he left here 
ages ago.  Where is your mind?  It's obviously not in the game.  
You've been out of it for some time now."  Lyle walks over to 
Miss Parker and grabs her arms firmly.

"Listen, Parker.  I know your life sucks right now.  I don't know 
what to say about that.  But you can't let it pull you into a 
dark hole.  You've got a job to do.  A life to live."

She just stares at him for a minute, angry that he had the nerve 
to handle her so roughly.  But then she catches a glimpse of 
something she's never seen before in his eyes.  In his own 
twisted way, he was trying to say he was worried about her.  

"I think that's the nicest thing you ever said to me, Lyle," she 
says with a surprised tone in her voice.  "I've never known you 
to have any concern for me.  But it's not necessary.  I'm fine."

"No, you're not.  You're a wreck.  You can't even function like 
you used to.  Why don't you stay here for a couple of days.  We 
didn't find Jarod and we're going to have to regroup any way.  
Get a little sun, a little rest, and meet us back at the Centre 
when you're feeling like yourself again."

Who was this strange man standing in front of her?  It was no 
Lyle that she's ever seen before.  Lyle's first concern was 
always himself and how he could get the better of her.  And 
although she knows that this attempt of his to keep her away from 
the Centre is almost completely devoid of any altruistic 
motivation, she can't help but get the sense that a small part of 
him also has her well being in mind.  

"Okay, you win.  I'll stay here and get a little rest.  I think I 
need to be by myself anyway," she relents.

"Alright then.  If there's nothing else.  I'm out of here.  See 
ya, Parker," Lyle says, flashing that devilish grin as he turns 
and walks towards the limo waiting to take him to the airport.  
She could tell that he was up to something, but she didn't care.  
He was right about one thing - she needed time to get her head 
back on straight.  She needed a chance to recover, both 
physically and mentally, from the changes the past few months 
have brought.

"Should I get these bags back up to the room for you, Miss 
Parker?"  The concierge snaps her out of her thoughts.  "Your 
brother said you'd be staying on with us for awhile."

"Actually, no.  That won't be necessary.  I don't think I'll be 
staying here.  I need a little more seclusion than this hotel.  
Do you have any suggestions?"

"Of course.  There are several small islands around that few 
tourists frequent.  The locals are friendly, but they mind their 
business.  I can get a ferry to take you to anyone of them.  And 
by the time you get there, your housing arrangements will be 
made."

"Thank you.  That sounds perfect.  Just what I need," Miss Parker 
says quietly, turning back to her view of the waves.  She allows 
the crashing sounds to drown away all of her thoughts as the 
concierge busies himself with making her arrangements.

Two hours later, Miss Parker kicks her shoes off and lays down on 
the sofa of her new lodging.  The concierge had found her a nice 
cottage on one of the nearby islands.  It was spacious and roomy, 
but felt homey to her.  She had a cook and a maid and a driver to 
take her anyplace she wanted to go.  But she didn't feel like 
dealing with people at that moment.  So she grabs her shoes and 
heads out to explore a little.

Her explorations lead her to a rocky cliff overlooking the beach.  
The view was unbelievably beautiful to her.  Yet, her heart still 
ached.  All of the loss and tragedy she's suffered came rising 
back up from the pit of her stomach.  She wanted nothing more 
than the pain to go away.  Physically, she had healed from her 
shooting, but the emotional scars ran deeper.  She had lost more 
than she wanted to remember.  

Nothing seemed important to her.  Not her job or her family or 
life back in Blue Cove.  She felt that she could end it all, 
right then and right there.  One more step closer to the edge and 
she could let gravity do the rest.  It wouldn't really be like 
she was killing herself, right?

"Giving up the chase so soon, Miss Parker?  Too bad.  You were so 
close to catching me this time."

Miss Parker is first surprised by the voice, but then the shock 
quickly turns into irritation.

"Jarod," she growls.  "I should have figured you'd be here.  How 
is it that I always seem to run into you when I'm not even 
looking for you?"  She turns around to face him.

"You've always known where to find me, Miss Parker," he says 
cryptically.  "You just never looked in the right place."

"Really?  So, I've just been wasting my time these past few years 
chasing after you?  Tell me something, Jarod.  If I've always 
known where to find you, then how come I've never caught up with 
you?"

"Like I said before.  You never looked in the right place.  All 
you have to do is search your heart.  You'll find me everytime.  
Follow your heart, Miss Parker.  It'll tell you the right thing."  
He turns and walks away, leaving her in a stunned silence.

She didn't know what he meant by what he just said, but she no 
longer had the desire to go over the edge.  She thought for a 
minute and did the only thing she could do.  She decided to 
listen to her heart.  And her heart was telling her to give life 
another chance.  Even if only to track Jarod down and find out 
the meaning behind his cryptic message.  She cautiously steps 
away from the cliff and looks around for Jarod.  Not seeing him 
anywhere, she begins to walk.  Not really knowing where she's 
going or where she'll end up.  She just walks.

Finding Jarod was easier than she thought.  It was like she had 
tapped into a mysterious sensor that was in tune with him.  She 
didn't know how she found him, but she did.

"Twice in one day.  That's got to be a record for us, Jarod," she 
says when she finally finds him again.

"I'm not surprised you found me.  We're connected, you know.  
Since that first day I saw you, I knew we had a bond.  I don't 
know how to explain it.  But at least now I know you feel it 
too."

"You seem to know a lot, Jarod," she sarcastically comments.

"But not enough.  I know you've been hurt badly.  But I don't 
know what's hurting you."

"It's more like, 'who', Jarod.  I've think they've finally 
succeeded in taking it all from me.  You know I was going to jump 
back there, right?  Death seemed like the easiest thing to do to 
get away from all they've done to me."  She looks down and lets 
the tears silently fall.

"You mean how they killed your mother and told you my father did 
it.  And when they killed Thomas.  That's more than enough for 
anyone to bear in a lifetime.  But you're different.  I thought 
you had bounced back from all the tragedy."

"I tried, Jarod.  Believe me, I tried.  I don't know who's 
responsible, but I know that somebody at the Centre killed 
Thomas.  And when we had your dad, I talked to him.  He told me 
he didn't kill my mom and I believed them.  After that, 
everything was pretty much a blur until I woke up after I'd been 
shot.  For weeks, they told me that you did it.  That you had 
tried to kill me and that they captured you."

"Did you believe them?"  Jarod turns away to prevent her eyes 
from meeting his.  He wanted her to be convinced on her own that 
he was innocent.  He didn't want to influence her in anyway.  But 
it was more than that.  He couldn't bear to see any doubt or 
indecision in her mind.

She looks up and sees that he's turned away.  She reaches her 
hand up and grabs his face, gently turning it back towards her so 
that she can look him straight in the eye.

"Not even for a second," she replies firmly.  "That's the one 
thing that I know in this life.  That you would never do anything 
like that to me.  No matter how much I chase you and try to take 
your life away, I know that you could never hurt me."

"I thought that was the last straw," she continued.  "I thought 
that was all they could take from me when they tried to convince 
me you'd shot me.  Next to my mother and Tommy, the time I spent 
with you at the Centre when we were kids was the next best thing 
that ever happened to me.  I hated them for trying to destroy all 
of that."

"But something else happened.  What was it?  What has caused you 
lose all hope and want to give up on life?" Jarod gently prods.

"My heart.  They broke what was left of my heart."  She wipes the 
tears that have begun to fall again.  "They didn't kill all of 
Tommy that day they put a bullet in his head.  But they finished 
the job when they shot me.  Jarod, I was going to have a baby.   
I was pregnant.  They killed my baby.  They killed my little 
boy."  With that, Miss Parker breaks down completely.  

Jarod goes to her and puts his arms around her, but he knows he's 
only holding an empty shell of the woman he used to know.  She 
was right, there was nothing left.  They had taken it all from 
her.  All he could do sit there and try to help her put the 
pieces of her life back together.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Shattered Lives
Part II:  The Difference A Day Makes
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The next morning, Miss Parker awoke to the strong smell of coffee 
wafting through Jarod's house.  She sleepily looks around at the 
unfamiliar surroundings and finally gets out of the bed.  Jarod's 
house was much smaller than her cottage, so it wasn't hard 
finding out where the kitchen was.

"Good morning.  I hope I didn't wake you," Jarod says cheerfully.  
He pours her a cup of the coffee and slides it across the counter 
to her.

"Thanks," she says quietly as she blows the hot liquid.  "And not 
just for the coffee.  For listening, and letting me cry on your 
shoulder, and for saving my life.  I keep thinking back to when I 
was on the edge of that cliff.  I really was going to jump.  Or I 
was praying that I would just fall.  Either way I wanted to be 
dead.  But then I heard a voice behind me.  A voice from my past 
telling me to follow my heart.  And I did.  And it led me here.  
To you."

"I'm just glad your heart told you not to jump.  I would have 
missed you," Jarod says.

"Really?  Do you really mean that?  Jarod, I've made your life 
nothing but miserable these past few years.  And for what?  For 
people who came this close to killing me.  They killed everyone I 
loved.  Most mornings I wish that they had killed me too.  This 
morning is different, though.  I see you and I see how they took 
your life from you, but you still wake up everyday just as  happy 
as if you were the richest man in the world."

"I don't know.  I guess I just try to remember the good parts.  
Like how it was when we were kids.  I was so miserable in that 
place.  But I looked forward to seeing you everyday.  You gave me 
the will to go on everyday.  I guess now, I'm just repaying the 
favor."

"I find it hard to believe that I was your hope.  I don't see how 
I can be anything good for anybody.  You know,  I wonder if they 
did my baby a favor when they shot me.  What kind of mother could 
I have been?"  Miss Parker walks over to the window and looks 
out.  She hears the waves and starts to feel herself slipping 
away again.  It was so much easier to give up than to fight the 
darkness.

"Miss Parker!  Stay with me," Jarod exclaims, noticing her change 
in mood.  It was almost as if she was barely aware she was still 
in the land of the living.  It broke his heart to see that her 
spirit had been broken by them.  But, he wasn't giving up on her.  
He swore he was going to help get her life back, and he was 
determined on keeping that promise.

"I'm still here," she replies after a few moments.  

"Why don't you tell me about the baby.  Were you happy when you 
found out about it?" Jarod tries to initiate conversation with 
her.  Anything to keep her mentally alert.

"My baby," she says with a sigh.  "I didn't know about the baby 
until it was almost too late.  They told me when I finally woke 
up.  I was unconscious for awhile, and they weren't sure if 
either of us were going to make it.  They told me that I had to 
stay strong.  For myself and for my baby.  I didn't have much 
time to think about whether I wanted the baby or not.  Something 
inside me just started to fight for him."

"I didn't mean to pry, Miss Parker.  If this is too hard . . ."

"No, it's fine.  I've never had anyone to talk to this about.  
It's good to get it out."  She looks at Jarod and he's shocked 
when a smile suddenly spreads across her face.

"I felt him kick one day," she says still smiling.  Her eyes are 
closed and her hands lay across her stomach as if she's reliving 
the memory.  "He felt so alive and I thought that the worst was 
over.  The doctors even seem to have thought we were both out of 
the woods.  But . . . "

"But he died anyway," Jarod finishes for her.  

"I don't know what happened.  They never told me anything 
reasonable or believable.  They only said that things like that 
sometimes happen.  I guess that's why I have such a hard time 
letting go.  What did they do to my baby?  Did they take him like 
they did with my brother?  Or maybe he did just die.  I don't 
know what to think."

"I understand.  It's all so soon.  What can I do to help?"  Jarod 
grabs her hand and gives it a gentle sqeeze.

"I could use a distraction.  That's why I'm here.  I had to get 
away from that place, Jarod."

"If distraction is what you want, then distraction is what you 
shall have," Jarod says with a mischievous grin.  "Now you go 
home and get showered and changed.  Then I'll take you out and 
give you a proper tour of the island.  How does that sound?"

"Sounds good," she says smiling back at him.  "Let's go."

                            
     ******************************************

"This is a beautiful island, Jarod.  What made you come here?"  
The warm sun and fresh tropical air seemed to work a miracle for 
her state of mind.  She was actually enjoying the day, just 
wandering around the island with Jarod.  She was surprised at how 
small the island was, but it only added to the charm. 

"You really like it?  I'm glad.  It's nice here.  And the people 
are nice.  They've made me feel very welcome since I've been 
here."

"I'll say," she says with a laugh.  "They all know you.  I think 
everyone we've run into on this tour has known you.  How is that, 
Jarod?'

"I helped a lot of them out.  I came here because I heard about 
some trouble they were having with a very powerful man.  He was 
the only one around here with any real money, and that meant that 
he got to rule things.  I heard that he was running a 
prostitution ring from this island.  He would find the young, 
poor girls and help them just so they'd owe him.  And when they 
couldn't pay him back, he'd make them work off their debt by 
taking them over to the mainland to . . . entertain the local 
men.  It was sick.  Some of the girls were just so young."

"So you got rid of the guy for them.  You're like their hero," 
she says with a look of awe and admiration in her eyes.  "No, I'm 
serious.  I know I used to tease you about that, but it's true.  
You really are like some modern day Robin Hood, helping the poor 
and unfortunate.  I think it's a good thing.  The world needs 
more people like you."

She smiles again at him as she places a gentle kiss on his cheek. 

"Well, well, well, Jarod.  Where have you been hiding this pretty 
young lady?"  

Jarod and Miss Parker look up at the voice speaking to them.  It 
was a little old man spryly walking along the street with a cane. 

"Dr. Collins!  How are you?" Jarod inquires.

"Not as good as you, my boy," the old man says with a wink.  
"This must be your wife.  Because I know you have too much sense 
to let one like this stay free for too long."

"Actually, she's not . . ." Jarod tries to interject, but it was 
too late.  Word was already spreading on the street about the 
mystery woman at Jarod's side.

"I guess this is one of the downfalls of living in a small town," 
Miss Parker whispers to Jarod.  "Let's get out of here before 
things get out of control."  She grabs his hand and pulls him 
back up the street towards her house. 

The walk in silence until they get back to her cottage.   She 
finally breaks the lag in the converstion when they're standing 
at her front door.  

"It's not so bad," she says out of the blue.

"What?"

"That they think I'm your wife," she says with a smile.  "It sort 
of like they're accepting me by thinking I'm worthy to be with 
you.  That makes me feel good.  I just hope they don't realize 
that I'm really an awful person who's been tormenting you for the 
past three years."

"Don't say that, Miss Parker.  You're not awful.  You've just 
been misguided.  But, I saw how happy you were this afternoon.  
You seemed free somehow.  There's still hope for you yet."

"Hope for me?  Well, that's good to hear.  I guess anything is 
possible.  But what about hope for us?  Seeing as how the whole 
island thinks we're married now.  What does that mean for us?"  
She looks up at him, her heart starting to race.  Jarod was 
right, she did feel freer.  She felt free enough to take a chance 
with her feelings.  She just put herself out on the line just 
now.  She just hoped he didn't reject her.

"That depends," he says, taking a step closer to her. 

"On what?" she asks in a whisper.

"On what you have to say about this."  He takes on last step 
towards her and places his hand under her chin, lifting her face 
to his.  They fall into an innocent kiss that is reminiscent of 
the first one they shared all those years ago.  He steps back 
from her and watches for her reaction.  He can see all of her 
thoughts as they cross her mind.  He can see that she's scared 
and unsure, but at the same time, he sees longing and desire.  He 
doesn't give her anymore time to think before planting another 
kiss on her lips.  This one firmer and more passionate.  This one 
lasts for what seems like an eternity.

They cling to each other as if their lives depended on this kiss.  
Not wanting to let go until they had rediscoverd the lost love of 
their youths.  It was a kiss that managed to seep deep into their 
souls and fill the void left when they were tragically torn from 
each other all those years ago.  And it was a kiss that marked 
the beginning the rest of their lives together. 

It was a kiss that could have gone on forever.  But it was 
interrupted by a sudden, horrible crashing sound.

"I know my heart is beating a mile a minute, but I don't think 
it's making that sound.  What was that?"  Jarod asks.

They both look down the road to see a car wrapped around a tree, 
just minutes away from bursting into flames.  

"Oh no!  Miss Parker, go get some help now!  I have to go see if 
anyone is still in the car," he yells as he takes off running 
towards the accident site.

Miss Parker stands mesmerized for a moment before she finally 
comes back to herself.  She runs into her house and arranges for 
her maid to get the doctor and the police before going to help 
Jarod.  The car is on fire now, and she starts to worry about his 
safety.  She gets the car as he's pulling out a young woman.  She 
was unconscious and about 9 months pregnant.  

"Anyone else in there?" she asks frantically.

"I don't know," he cries.  "It was too much smoke.  I couldn't 
see anything in there."

Out of the corner of her eye, Miss Parker notices movement in the 
car.

"Jarod, look," she alerts him.  They both look in the car and 
sees two small hands banging against one of the few windows 
remaining on the car.  Without thinking, Miss Parker runs to the 
car, with Jarod close behind.  They both work quickly  together 
to rescue the remaining passenger.  

"I feel a pulse.  Check to see if she's breathing, Miss Parker.  
I need to check on the woman," Jarod orders once they've all 
gotten to safety.

Miss Parker looks at the small and seemingly lifeless body laying 
in her arms.  She was a little girl, about 4 or 5 years old with 
a mass of curly hair on her head.  She looked so fragile and 
delicate that it brought tears to Miss Parker's eyes that she was 
so helpless.  Miss Parker notices the rise and fall of the little 
girls chest and feels a small breath escape the girl's lips.  She 
cries a cry of relief that the little girl is okay.  She 
continues to hold her close, rocking her gently to let her know 
that everything was alright.

"Miss Parker, I need you over here now!" Jarod was frantic.  "We 
have to get her to the house.  She's in labor.  The baby is on 
it's way.  She must have been trying to get to the clinic."

Jarod and Miss Parker struggle to get both the patients into the 
house just as the doctor was arriving.

"Doc, she's in and out of consciousness, but she's in labor.  I 
don't know if she's going to make it.  We've got to get the baby 
out of her!"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 
Shattered Lives
Part III:  The Right Place at the Right Time
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Hours past, and the police finally start to wrap up the 
preliminary investigation on the accident.

"Is there anything else you can tell us, ma'am?" one of the 
officers asks a still shaken Miss Parker.

"I don't know.  Jarod and I were on the porch when we heard the 
crash.  We ran to help as soon as we saw it.  I can't tell you 
what happened.  I guess she was trying to get to the clinic to 
have her baby."

"I'm not sure that was the case," Jarod says.  "The clinic's the 
other way.  It was like she was running from something."  He puts 
his arm around her for comfort.  He's wasn't sure if he was 
comforting her or if she was comforting him.  He just knew that 
he needed to hold her for both their sakes.

"He's right," said the officer.  "We checked out the girl's 
place.  She lived with a friend who didn't seemed surprised at 
the 'accident'.  Apparently the girl was one of the girls you 
rescued from that prostitution ring.  Except she wasn't so lucky 
in getting completely out.  She ended up pregnant and could 
barely take care of herself and her daughter, let alone another 
child.  She had no family and no hope.  She figured the only 
thing to do would be to kill them all."

"Well, she only partly succeeded.  She's dead, but what about her 
children?  There's a little girl and a brand new baby boy without 
any parents.  What's going to happen to them?"  She shakes her 
head in disbelief as tears start to roll down her face.  

The maid brings over the crying newborn to Jarod and Miss Parker.  

"He won't stop crying.  I don't know what to do.  And he won't 
keep down anything I try to give him.  I know the poor thing is 
starving, but he won't eat," says the maid.  "We may have to find 
a wet nurse.  The breast milk should be easier for him to 
tolerate than this goat's milk."

Miss Parker looks at the baby.  So small and so perfect.  But his 
cries of agony tore her heart to shreds.  She watched as he 
balled up his tiny fists and screamed until his whole face was 
red and all scrunched up.  His pain was calling out to her pain 
and begging for some comfort and relief.

"Give him to me," she says quietly, stretching out her arms to 
reach for the baby.  She had made her decision.  She was the only 
one who could help this baby.  

"Ma'am?"  The maid looks at her, completely confused.

"Miss Parker was just recently pregnant.  She'll be able to feed 
him," Jarod explains.  He watches as Miss Parker gently takes the 
baby from the maid.  She's a bit shaky and unsure with him, but 
her hidden natural, maternal instinct takes over.

"Are you sure this is going to be okay with you?" Jarod asks.

"It has to be.  This isn't about me, Jarod.  This is about him.  
He needs me."  She starts to the back room, taking the maid with 
her to help.

Jarod sinks into the nearest chair, not realizing how tired the 
ordeal had made him.  He closes his eyes for a minute, but then 
opens them again when he feels that someone is watching him.  He 
finds that he's staring into the face of the sweetest looking 
child he's ever seen.

"Hi.  Do you remember what happened?" He takes the little girl 
and sits her on his lap.

"We were in a car going really fast.  My momma was crying so 
hard.  She kept on saying she was sorry she had to do it.  Then 
we hit the tree and I went to sleep.  When I woke up, I saw a lot 
of smoke and couldn't get out," the little girl explains as she 
starts to cry.

"It's alright.  You're fine now," Jarod says, hugging the little 
girl.  

"Where's my momma?  Did she die?" 

"I'm sorry, sweetie.  She didn't make it," Jarod has to sadly 
tell the little girl.

"How about the baby?"

"I think you should go see for yourself.  He's in the back room 
if you want to see him."  Jarod notices the little girl perk up 
when she hears that.  He takes her hand and leads her back to 
where Miss Parker is.

"Knock, knock," he says as he slowly pushes the door open.  He 
peeks around the corner and sees that the baby is laying in Miss 
Parker's arms.  Quiet and content.  He smiles at how peaceful 
they both look.  "I have somebody here who'd like to meet her 
little brother."

The little girl pokes her head out from behind Jarod and slowly 
walks over to the baby.  Miss Parker notices how afraid she seems 
and reaches one of her arms out to the little girl.  

"Why don't you just hop up here next to us," she says to reassure 
the little girl.

The little girl looks at her and smiles before running over to 
get a view of the baby.

"What's your name?" Miss Parker asks the her.

"Catie.  It's short for Catherine," the little girl replies. 

"Well, Catie.  It's nice to meet you.  You know, my mother's name 
was Catherine, too.  A beautiful name for a beautiful little 
girl."

Catie looks up at Miss Parker and smiles.  She hugs close to her 
and they watch the baby sleep together.  Pretty soon, Catie 
drifts off to sleep too.  Jarod takes her to one of the other 
bedrooms and tucks her in.  When he comes back, he sees that Miss 
Parker is nursing the baby again.

"I'm sorry.  Do you want me to come back?" he says, slightly 
flustered at having walked in on them.

"No.  Please stay," she begs.  She looks down at the baby as he 
eats.  "What's going to happen to them, Jarod?" she asks quietly.

"I don't know.  I told the police they could stay here with us 
tonight since there was no more family.  But after that, I'm not 
sure."

"This feels right to me.  Remember how you told me to follow my 
heart?  Well, it's telling me that this is right. Me and these 
children.  I've never been one to trust my feelings, but they're 
too strong to deny in this case," she says.

"That's why you felt okay about nursing the baby so soon after 
you'd lost your own?" he wonders.

"I guess.  I don't know.  It was like yesterday when I found your 
place.  I don't know I found it, but I did.  It was like 
something was leading me to you.  That's how I feel about these 
kids now.  There's something inside of me drawing me to them."

She had convinced herself that being with these children was the 
right thing for them all.  And who was he to say that it wasn't.  
All he knows is that he's never seen her so sure of a decision.  
He's never seen her so peaceful and content as she was when she 
was holding the baby.

"Are you sure?  I mean, really sure, Miss Parker.  Don't get mad, 
but this isn't about what just happened to you is it?" he asks 
hesitantly.  He didn't want to upset or offend her, but he needed 
to make sure she was thinking clearly.

"You mean am I using this child as a substitute for the one I 
lost?"  She stares calmly into his eyes.  "Jarod, I know what I'm 
doing.  I know how I'm feeling.  I realize that this isn't my 
baby.  And he can't make up for my loss.  But, he makes me happy.  
And I can tell that I make him happy too.  And that's all I want 
right now.  To love him and take care of him."

He looks at her and smiles.  She was sure of her actions.  There 
wasn't anyway he'd be able to dissuade her.  And he didn't really 
want to.  She was right about one thing - they seemed to make 
each other happy.  It's like they were both in the same place at 
the same time for this very reason.  For her to be his mother and 
for him to be her son.

He walks over to the edge of the bed and leans over to kiss Miss 
Parker on the forehead.  

"Why don't you let me take him," he says, reaching out for the 
baby.  "It's been a long day and I think you need your rest too.  
I'm sure this little guy will be hungry again pretty soon.  You 
should get some sleep until then."

"You're right, I'm pretty tired," she says as her eyelids start 
to droop.  Pretty soon her breathing becomes more and more 
regular and she drifts off to sleep.  Jarod walks around to the 
other side of the bed and climbs in next to her, laying the baby 
down between them.  He listens to their slow, deep breathing and 
lets it lull him into his own dreams.

     *******************************************

Miss Parker wakes the next morning to the strong smell of coffee 
brewing in the kitchen.  A smile spreads across her lips as the 
feeling of deja vu lets her know that Jarod is still there, just 
how he was the day before.  Wow, the day before.  So much has 
happened in one day.  Too much to think about.  She just wants to 
live in the moment.

She climbs out of bed and into her slippers and goes to join 
Jarod in the kitchen.  She stands in the doorway for a minute and 
is thoroughly amused watching him try to entertain the children.  
She goes unnoticed for some time until they finally hear her 
muffled giggles.

"Oh, you're up.  Good morning," he says in his usual cheerful 
way.  He walks over and kisses her on the cheek.  "Did you sleep 
well?"

"Sort of.  Between the baby waking up every few hours and your 
snoring . . ."

"I don't snore," he interrupts, bringing a smile to both of their 
faces.  A week ago, the last thing either one of them expected 
would be the scene they're enacting at that moment.  Never would 
they have thought they'd be standing in a cozy island cottage 
teasing each other about who snored the loudest.

"It must have been the baby," he adds jokingly, winking at Catie 
and sending the little girl into a fit of giggles.

"Come over here and give me a big hug," Miss Parker says to 
Catie.  "How are you this morning?  A lot happened yesterday.  Do 
you want to talk about anything?"

Catie's face turns serious and somber and the little girl shakes 
her head from side to side.

"That's alright, sweetie.  We'll wait until you're ready.  But I 
need to talk to you about something else right now.  Let's go sit 
down."

She takes Catie's hand and leads her into the living room.  Jarod 
grabs the baby's seat from the counter and follows them. 

"Catie.  I know this is going to be a hard time for you.  And I 
want you to know that I'll do whatever I can to help you," Miss 
Parker starts.  "But, I can't do it here.  I don't know if you 
realize this, but I'm just visiting the island.  I live in the 
United States in a place called Blue Cove, Delaware.  Do you 
understand what I'm saying?"

"Yes," the little girl says sadly.  "You're trying to say good-
bye.  You're about to leave me, just like my other momma left 
me,"

"Oh, Catie," Miss Parker says, grabbing the little girl in her 
arms.  "That's not what I'm saying at all.  I can't stay here.  
But I don't want you to be all alone.  Someone has to take care 
of you.  And I don't want to tell you what to do.  I just want 
what you want.  Can you tell me what that is?"

"I don't want you to leave me.  I want you to take care of me.  
If you're going, then I want to come with you." Catie snuggles 
deeper into Miss Parker's embrace.

"Then that's what I want to," Miss Parker say, wiping away her 
tears of relief.  

And just then, as if on cue, the baby starts to cry.

"Don't worry, my little nameless baby.  I haven't forgotten about 
you," she reaches out and Jarod hands her the baby.   "I want to 
take care of you, too.  But maybe we should give you a name 
first.  We can't just keep on calling you Baby, now can we?  
Catie, Jarod.  What do you think?"

"Yes.  He definitely needs a name," Jarod says jokingly.

"Oh, aren't you the funny guy today.  So full of wisecracks," she 
says, giving him a playful little shove.  "But I'm serious.  What 
should we call him?"  She looks at Jarod, waiting for his answer.  
But she sat there and wondered if he really understood the 
question. She was less concerned with the name he actually came 
up with. No, what she really wanted to know was if he wanted to 
come up with a name.  If he wanted to be a part of all that.  
What she was really asking was for him to take a part in their 
lives.  

"Okay, all joking aside.  How about you let me think about it.  A 
name is an important decision parents make for their children.  
We shouldn't rush into it," he cryptically replies to her equally 
cryptic question.  What was going on in her mind, he wondered to 
himself.  What is she really asking?  Does she simply want me to 
suggest a name for the baby, or is she asking something more?

"I have an errand to run," Jarod says, suddenly standing up.  He 
picks up Catie and gives her a tight hug.  "Why don't my two 
favorite girls stay here and think about the baby's name.  I have 
something to take care of and I'll be right back."  He sets the 
little girl back down on the couch, making eye contact with Miss 
Parker in the process.

"You'll be back soon?  You promise?" she asks him, still keeping 
the eye contact.

"I promise," he says, stealing a quick kiss before turning to 
walk out the door.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 
Shattered Lives
Part IV:  A Place to Call Home
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Miss Parker walks around the house quietly, so as not to wake the 
children.  They both went to sleep around the same time, so Miss 
Parker had a little bit of time by herself the reflect on the 
past day's events.  She thought about how desolate and alone she 
felt when she first arrived on this island.  So desperate that 
she almost took her own life.  How ironic that she's now caring 
for the children of a young woman who felt the same way.  Only, 
the young woman didn't have a Jarod around to save her life like 
Miss Parker did. 

She thinks she hears the children stirring, so she goes back to 
check on them.  After seeing that everything is okay, she returns 
to the outer room.  Jarod is there waiting for her.

"When did you get back?" she asks him.  She tries to catch a peek 
into his eyes to see what he was thinking, but he avoided eye 
contact.  "You were gone awhile.  I was starting to get worried."

"Sorry," he whispers, still trying to avoid looking in her eyes.  
"I had a couple of things to do.  And a lot of things to think 
about."

"Oh," she says softly. Now, it's her turn to look away.  She 
doesn't want him to see her cry.  Whatever he was thinking about 
didn't sound too good.  She was afraid that she was about to get 
rejected.  "Anything you'd like to share with me?"

"More than you know, Miss Parker."  He finally looks up at her.  
He takes her hand and leads her to the couch where they sit down.  

"I have something for you," he says, pulling out a large envelope 
from his pocket.

"What's this?" she asks.  Her hands are shaking as she takes the 
envelope and starts to open it.  Inside are a couple of legal 
documents.  She takes them out and starts to scan them quickly.  
When she finishes, she looks up at Jarod with tear filled eyes.

"Are these what I think they are?  They're mine?  The kids are 
mine?" she asks him incredulously.

"They're yours," he replies.  "If you still want them.  All you 
have to do is sign."

"Of course I want them!  Just show me where to sign." She throws 
her arms around his neck and holds on tightly.  She still cannot 
believe what he had accomplished for her.  Somehow in a few hours 
time, he managed to convince somebody to let her keep the 
children.  Once again, he was being her hero. Once again, he was 
coming to her rescue.  She didn't know what would have happened 
if she had to leave without the children.  But thanks to Jarod, 
she never had to find out. 

"Not so fast.  There are a couple of other things.  I did a lot 
of thinking," he starts.  "About what you said before I left.  
Thinking about you and about me.  Thinking about us and the 
children.  I really don't understand it, and I really can't 
explain it.  But everything seems so right.  Just like you said 
last night.  It's like it was all meant to be.  You being the 
mommy and me being the daddy and us all living happily ever 
after."  He pauses for a moment to clear his throat.  This was 
harder than he thought.

"But I don't see how that will work out.  I don't know what's 
going to happen when the Centre is on my trail again.  But I do 
know one thing.  That I don't want to spend another minute 
running away from you." 

"And I don't want to have to capture you for you to be with me," 
she adds, leaning in to kiss him on the lips.  

"You never had to capture me.  I was always with you.  Right in 
here," he says placing his hand on her heart.  "From the first 
time I ever laid eyes on you, I knew that I was going to love you 
for the rest of my life."  He watches her closely as a look of 
shock and slight panic cross her face.  

"You . . . love . . . me?"  She stands up and starts to pace 
nervously.  "You love me?  Now that, I wasn't expecting.  When 
you walked out that door, I thought that was the last I was going 
to see you.  I thought I had finally done something to push you 
away."

"Instead, you walk in here and hand me the world.  You give me 
two beautiful children.  And you give me your love.  I have 
nothing to give you so that you'd realize just how much you mean 
to me and . . ."

"And what?" he wonders.

"And how much I love you too," she finishes.  They stand inches 
apart and look into each others eyes.  She feels that he can look 
straight into her soul, but doesn't mind.  The only thing he'll 
see is her love and how she's ready to give it to him.

"That's all you have to give me," he says, wrapping his arms 
tightly around her.  "I just want you to love me too."  They 
stand there holding each other for a long time, making up for a 
life time of lost love.

"Jarod," she says finally breaking the embrace.  "I know you've 
given me so much already.  But can I have one more thing?"

"Anything," he says, sealing it with a kiss.  "What do you want?"

"I want it all, Jarod.  A father for the kids.  A companion for 
me.  The whole family thing.  Is that too much to ask?"

"Are you sure?  We're talking forever here, Parker."

"I'm sure.  That's what I want.  Forever.  I've loved you for so 
long and never could admit it to you or myself.  But now that 
it's out, I can't ever go back.  I don't want to ever go back."

"Let's not go back," he whispers horsely, barely able to hold 
back his desire for her any longer.  They fall into a deep, 
searing kiss that leaves them both dizzy.  He pulls back, much to 
her surprise.

"We have to do this the right way," he says breathlessly.  "Meet 
me down on the beach in about an hour.  I have a surprise for 
you."  He kisses her once more before racing out of the door.

Down at the beach, Jarod is putting the finishing touches on the 
surprise just and Miss Parker arrives with the kids in tow.  His 
heart skips a beat when he sees her face light up with a look of 
joy as she notices the scenery.

A small stretch of the beach had been transformed into a floral 
garden.  Flowers were everywhere, and arranged in a special 
circle.   Just outside the circle, stood the minister from the 
little church in the village.

"What's all this?" she asks.

"This is where it's all going to begin.  You said you wanted a 
family.  Today, we're going to make ourselves one.  Before God, 
we're going to become a family."

The ceremony was simple, yet sweet.  That day on the beach, they 
experienced something far beyond a conventional 'marriage'.  It 
was the building of a family.  With the powers vested in that 
minister by God, they became father, mother, daughter and son.  
They became committed to each other forever and for always.

                            
     ********************************************


"Keep them closed.  No peeking.  We're almost there."  Jarod had 
one last surprise up his sleeve.  They had spent a romantic 
weekend on the island after the wedding, but decided it was time 
to come home.  "Okay, you can look now."

Miss Parker gasps in amazement at the sight before her.  When 
they got off the plane, she could tell that they weren't driving 
in the direction of her house.  But she sees now where they were 
headed.  She was standing in front of the most perfect house she 
could have ever dreamed of.  It sat in the middle of a beautiful 
green lawn and marked off by a perfect white picket fence.

"Jarod!  It's like a dream.  Where did you find this house?"

"You really like it?  I was hoping we'd be able to start our life 
off together in a house that we could make a home."

"It's perfect.  I love it. And I love you," she says, kissing him 
all over his face.  She takes off running for the front door, 
like a little kid, anxious to get inside.

"Wait a minute, Honey.  There's one more thing," he says with a 
grin.  He walks over to her and swoops her up in his arms.  He 
carries her over the threshhold and into their new life.
 
    ******************************************

Evening finds them all settled into the new house.  They sit, 
cuddled together on the big couch in the middle of the living 
room.

"Alright, young lady," Miss Parker suddenly says to Catie.  "I 
think it's time for you to go to bed.  You're about to fall 
asleep right here on my lap."

"Okay," the little girl relents.  "Good night, Momma.  Good 
night, Daddy," she says, placing a sweet little kiss on both 
their cheeks before running off to her room.

They both watch her scuttle away in amazement.  She was so happy.  
They were glad they could make a family for her.  But little did 
she know, she has made them happier than she could ever imagine.  

"What are you thinking?" Jarod asks Miss Parker when all is quiet 
again. 

"I'm thinking about us.  About our family.  I never thought in a 
million years I'd end up like this.  With you of all people," she 
says with a little laugh.  "But now that we're here, I don't see 
how any of us ever survived without the other one."  She snuggles 
deep into his arms and squeezes tight. 

"What's going to happen to us?" He finally asks, breaking the 
silence once again.  "Are we going to make it?"

"We have to.  They've taken away so much of our lives already.  
We can't let them destroy our future, Jarod.  Please don't let 
them," she says as a tear runs down her face.

"I don't want to run from you anymore," he says, barely able to 
hold back his own tears.

"Sometimes you might have to," she whispers.

They both knew that she was right.  The Centre was bound to track 
him down one day, forcing him back on the run.  But he'd be 
comforted this time knowing that he had a family waiting for him.  
He wouldn't be a wanderer anymore because he now had a place to 
call home.  A home built on the broken pieces of their shattered 
lives.  A home filled with love and joy that he wouldn't be able 
to stay away from forever.

The End.

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