Title - Saying The Words (1/?)
Author - Nicky
Rating - PG
Category - JMPR
Summary - Jarod tries to say good bye, but ends up coming back to 
rescue Miss Parker and finds her in a surprising predicament.
Disclaimer - The characters aren't mine.  I'm just using them for 
my own entertainment purposes.

* * * * * * * * * *

Tuesday night

Miss Parker rolls over in her bed, trying hard to ignore the 
ringing telephone right next to her head.  She growls out loud 
when she realizes that it won't quit unless she picks it up.  
Unable to take the noise any longer, she reaches for the phone 
and snatches it from its hook.

"What!" she yells, instantly regretting the action that only 
makes the pounding in her head worse.  The last supposed lead on 
Jarod took her out to Arizona where the constant dry air wreaked 
havoc on her sinuses.  The plane ride home only aggravated the 
pressure between her eyes even more.  She was hoping getting to 
bed early would help, but apparently her late night caller had 
other ideas.

"This is not a difficult concept.  I answer, you then tell me 
what you want," she yells again when the caller remains 
mysteriously silent.

"Listen, I'm hanging up now.  Jarod, if this is you, you better 
hope me and my gun don't come across you any time in the near 
future."  She slams the phone down, sighing heavily in 
frustration.  She knows it was Jarod and was annoyed at the 
little game he obviously feels like playing tonight.  Calling and 
not saying anything was just a waste of time.  And she hated 
having her time wasted.  

Sighing once more, she shuts her eyes and tries to fall back 
asleep.  A tossing and turning filled hour later lets her know 
that sleep wasn't about to happen for her.  She throws on a robe 
and stomps downstairs to make a cup of tea.  Sitting on the couch 
with her tea, she's suddenly struck with the disturbing feeling 
that things were about to change for her.  As she ponders that 
thought, the tea begins to do it's job relaxing her and finally 
she's able to drift off to sleep right there on the couch.  One 
small part of her consciousness stayed awake, however, toiling 
with the notion that something big was about to happen.

* * * * * * * * * *

Jarod stares at the phone in his hand before the dial tone 
startles him back to reality.  It was a bad idea, he realized 
once he heard her angry voice over the line.  What he had to say 
to her was not the kind of thing you'd say over the phone.  It 
was the coward's way.  And although he felt like a coward for 
what he was about to do, he still felt she deserved more than 
some impersonal phone call.

He hangs the phone up and then picks up his bag from off the bed.  
Looking around one last time, he starts to feel a little 
nostalgic.  Life on the run had it's down sides, but it was a 
life he was starting to get used to.  It was hard to believe this 
would probably be the last of his 'lairs'.  Reaching into the 
bag, he pulls out one last red notebook.  It contained no real 
clues or leads this time.  It was just a prop he knew they 
expected to find there.  And she probably won't even see it.  It 
won't be necessary for her to see it after tonight.  He drops the 
book on the desk on his way out the door and exhales the deep 
breath he was holding, bracing himself for the one last stop he 
had to make.

* * * * * * * * * *

She can feel his eyes on her even before she can see him.  This 
was unexpected, him showing up like this.  But at the same time, 
she somehow knew he was coming.  She finally opens her eyes and 
stares into his dark haunted ones, his defeated expression 
changing her attitude from angry to concerned.

"Jarod?" she whispers, pulling herself to an upright position.  
"Is everything alright?  Why are you here this time of night?"

"We need to talk," he says, averting his eyes from her.  Facing 
her seemed like the best idea at the time, but now he wishes he 
had followed through with the phone call instead.

"And you couldn't tell me this earlier when you called?" she asks 
him, casting a slightly accusatory glare in his direction.  "You 
woke me up, you know.  And I couldn't get back to sleep."

"Sorry," he mumbles.  "But this is important."

"Well, you have my undivided attention, Jarod.  What's this 
about?"

"It's over, Miss Parker.  This game of ours.  I can't do it 
anymore."  He's staring out the window, unable to face her.

"I don't understand," she says, genuinely confused.  "Are you 
turning yourself in?  You want me to take you back to the 
Centre?"

He chuckles a bit at her question and then finally turns to face 
her.  But she can see that he was far from amused.  The look in 
his eyes was one she'd never seen before.  Add that to the 
feeling she had earlier that evening and she suddenly got 
terrified at what he was trying to say.

"Go back?  Is that what you really want from me, Miss Parker?" he 
asks angrily.  But he takes a deep breath to calm himself down.  
He didn't come here for a fight.  "If I thought that's what you 
really wanted, I'd do it in a heartbeat.  You don't want me to go 
back there.  What you want is your freedom.  And you think that 
taking me in is the way to accomplish that, but it won't.  You're 
going to have to find a way to free yourself.  And you should do 
it before it's too late."

"Too late?  What do you mean by that?"

"I don't know," he sighs, turning his back to her again.  "But 
I'm tired of playing these games.  I need to be completely free.  
Free from my past.  Free from all those answers I was trying to 
find.  Free from . . . everything."

"Even me?" she asks.  She moves to stand between him and the 
window he suddenly seems so fascinated with.  "You need to be 
free from me?"

"Especially you, Miss Parker."  

He looks up at her and she's surprised to see tears in his eyes.  
His tears trigger a few of her own, which she quickly wipes away.

"I run, you chase.  Isn't that what you always say?  And that was 
fine for awhile, but . . . . "  He takes a deep breath and 
decides that it was time to face the music.  This is what he came 
here for.  He may as well get it over with.  He reaches for her 
face, gently lifting it so that she can see his eyes and know 
what he's saying is true.  "That was fine for awhile, but I can't 
do it anymore.  Every day, it gets harder and harder to run from 
you.  And I'm afraid that one day, I'm just going to stop and let 
you catch me."

"Oh," she says, letting out a shaky sigh.  Unsure of what to say, 
she tries to crack a joke.  "And that would be a bad thing?"

"It depends on what you planned on doing with me once you got 
me," he teases.  They laugh for a second before the reality of 
his words sink in.  There was only one thing she would do.  There 
was only one thing she was trained to do.

"I'd bring you in," she sadly admits.

"And that would make things worse for both of us," he insists.  
"I can't risk going back there, Miss Parker.  Not for some off 
chance I may find answers about my family.  Not for this 
compulsion I have for trying to right all the wrongs in the 
world.  Not even for you."  But they both know that's not 
entirely true.  He'd do anything for her.  All she had to do was 
ask.  But he knew she wouldn't say the words.  

He smiles once more at her and reaches out to touch her face 
again.  He ends up tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and 
trailing his fingers down her cheek.  Surprisingly, she allows 
this, too stunned to stop him.  She can see in his eyes the inner 
battle being fought between his head and his heart.  It mirrors 
the war being raged in herself.  She closes her eyes to keep him 
from seeing her turmoil.  A silent understanding passes between 
them, broken a few moments later by words she never thought she'd 
ever hear from him.

"Good bye, Miss Parker."

When she opens her eyes, he's gone.

* * * * * * * * *

To be continued . . .