Stolen Chances

By: Nicky

 

Chapter 1

 

The sun peeked into the penthouse, welcoming the inhabitants to a bright new day.  But as usual, Todd Manning had been rambling around for hours before the sun's arrival.  Sleep was a difficult task for him to accomplish most nights.  He generally filled the hours leading to daybreak with minutes of tedious work that could most likely wait for the next work day.  But today was different.  Today was the beginning of his first full weekend visit with Starr since Blair had won custody.  He was too excited to sleep, so he fumbled with putting together a new dollhouse for Starr.

 

"What are you doing up at this hour, Todd?" 

 

Todd is startled by the sudden appearance of his wife at the top of the stairs.  He looked up at her and smiled.  Last year this time, he thought things were over between them.  But looking at them now, you'd never know it.  They weren't glad for their past troubles, but in the end they were a stronger couple because of those problems.

 

He watches as she slowly descends the stairs, taking care not to fall.  With each step, her gown clings to her body, revealing a slight protrusion from her abdomen.  The pregnant Mrs. Manning was just barely out of her first trimester, but was beginning to show already.

 

"Sorry, Téa.  I didn't mean to wake you.  I tried to be quiet.  I guess building a dollhouse is harder than it looks."

 

"I'm sure you'll get it . . . one day," she says, looking skeptically at the piles of indistinguishable screws and dollhouse parts surrounding Todd on the floor. 

 

"Are you teasing me?" he asks as he playfully pulls her to the floor with him, covering her mouth with kisses before she can answer. 

 

"Todd, we can't do this now," she murmurs between intense kisses.  "This place is a mess and Blair will be here with Starr any minute."

 

Todd agrees, but reluctantly releases Téa from his embrace.  She goes to get dressed while Todd puts the dollhouse away. 

 

Todd is busy reading the paper when Téa reappears, dressed and ready for Starr's visit.  She gets some orange juice and joins him.  But Todd can no longer concentrate on the newspaper.  Téa is too distracting.  She has his full attention every time she's in his presence.  He's staring longingly at his wife, memorizing every aspect of her beautiful face when he notices a shocked look come across her face.

 

"What's up?  Bad news?" he asks.

 

"Yeah.  Probably one of the most noteworthy judges in Chicago is deathly ill.  They don't think he's going to make it.  It's a shame.  I remember reading a  lot about him in law school.  I couldn't help but be impressed by him.  He achieved such greatness despite the racial and social barriers blocking him.  He was definitely an inspiration to me.  The NAACP is seeking donations to honor him with a memorial.  Maybe I can finally put some of those millions to good use."

 

"Sorry your mentor is about to kick the bucket, Delgado, but you know how I feel about those judges and lawyer types.  I haven't met one I liked yet . . . except for you of course," he adds quickly with a little smirk as she throws a playful scowl his way.  "I say the less judges the better."

 

"You're lucky I love you, you big insensitive jerk.  Judge Lincoln Westlake is admired and respected by . . . " 

 

But Todd doesn't hear the rest of what Téa says.  The mention of that man's name suddenly sends a chill to Todd's very soul.  Lincoln Westlake is a name he thought he'd never hear again.  His wife's mentor has turned out to be the man partly responsible for making Todd Manning the man that he is today.

 

"Todd?  Todd?  Are you listening to me?" Téa annoyingly asks.  "What's the matter with you?  You look like you've just seen a ghost."

 

"Nothing's wrong.  I just don't like the guy.  You know I had a few run ins with the law when I was in Chicago.  He worked the juvenile courts back then.  He didn't make things very easy for me," Todd answers, trying to avoid Téa's probing eyes.

 

"Are you sure that's it?  You look like there's something personal between you and Judge Westlake."

 

"I...I..." Todd stammers, but is interrupted by the doorbell.  Téa gets up to answer it and is greeted with a very enthusiastic hug from Starr.  She quickly forgets what has just transpired as the little girl plants tiny kisses all over her stepmother's face and gently pats Téa's belly to say hello to her future brother or sister.  Todd, however, doesn't forget.  He can't forget, but he manages to push it out of his mind for the time being while he enjoys the weekend with his daughter.

 

Chapter 2

 

Téa was right about one thing.  Todd's hatred of Lincoln Westlake stemmed from more than the judge's occupation.  It was personal.  Todd and Judge Westlake had a history together that few people knew about.  It was a history that began before Todd could even remember.

 

Todd first met Lincoln Westlake years ago in Chicago when he was merely a toddler.  Todd's mother and Lincoln's wife were volunteers together.  Lincoln's young daughter, Michelle was a regular playmate of Todd's.  Lincoln, however, did not approve of Todd Manning as a possible peer for his daughter.  Lincoln had married into wealth to work his way from poverty up the social ladder.  But he didn't feel that the middle class Mannings were of the same stature as the Westlakes.  In his opinion, Todd Manning just wasn't good enough for his little girl. 

 

Despite his objections, Michelle and Todd continued to grow up together, remaining the best of friends throughout the years.  They were friends in elementary school and in middle school.  But for high school, Michelle's parents sent her away to a boarding school.  Todd was sad and lonely.  He had just lost his best friend.  And he felt like it was his fault he'd lost her.  If she hadn't come by that day for his birthday with that cake, she'd still be in town.  His father didn't like seeing Michelle there with that day.  He destroyed the birthday cake she brought, insulted the young girl and kicked her out the house.  Hearing about the incident, the judge decided to end the friendship once and for all and sent Michelle away to a boarding school to keep her away from Todd and his family.  After that day, Todd was never the same.

 

That was the day Todd tried to kill Peter.  Peter was an abusive man, but Todd was used to it. He had seen it all his life.   Before she left, Todd would see his mother receiving the abuse.  But after she left, Todd was the target.  He dealt with it the best way he could, but on that day, it was too much for him.  That was the day the abuse moved to a whole new level.  That was the day

Peter raped Todd.

 

Life as Todd knew it was over.  His mother had left.  His best friend was sent away.  His innocence was taken away.  Everything got to be too much for Todd.  He started to get in a little trouble as a way to rebel.  Nothing big.  Just small pranks here and there.   But he always had football as his outlet.  It was the only way to keep his mind off of his dysfunctional home life with an abusive father.

 

Luckily, Todd had a positive male role model in his football coach, Sam Rappaport.  Soon after meeting Todd, Sam noticed how troubled and tormented the young man was.  He did all he could to take Todd under his wing and guide him, but it wasn't enough.  There was only so much he could do.  Peter Manning is the person Todd has to go home to every night.  Years had passed, but he was still abusive and Todd still got into trouble.  And the problems soon began to extend into the classroom.  His grades were slipping and he risked being disqualified from playing football.  Sam knew that being on the football team was all that was keeping Todd together and he knew that getting into a good college would be the only way Todd could escape Peter.  Todd managed to pass his junior year on his own, but Sam arranged for a tutor to help Todd catch up on his school work during the summer.  However Todd was proud and stubborn and didn't like that idea too much.

 

As summer started, Todd tried to spend as much time away from Peter as possible.  "Maybe that tutoring thing won't be as bad as it seems.  At least I'll be away from home most of the time," Todd thought to himself.  So, he decided to go ahead and meet his tutor. 

 

Todd had arrived a little early for the meeting, so he sat down and started to read a magazine.  Pretty soon, he hears a familiar voice asking if he's ready to begin with the lessons.  Todd looks up and finds himself staring at a beautiful stranger.  Yet, her eyes were so familiar to him.  Then she smiled, and the smile was one that he had known his whole life.  Finally she spoke again and said, "Hello, Todd.  I thought I'd never see you again."  And then it was clear to him.  The stranger standing in front of him was no stranger at all.  It was Michelle.

 

Chapter 3

 

A few years made a big difference in Michelle's life.  She had grown from a skinny little tomboy who used to climb trees with Todd into a beautiful, poised, sophisticated young woman.  Todd could not believe his eyes.  He could not believe that this was the same little girl who, until a few years ago before she went to boarding school, he used to have sleep overs with every weekend.  Todd and Michelle used to be the best of friends, but now it appeared that they had to get to know each other again.

 

And that's how they spent the summer.   They had a lot of catching up to do.  They spent nearly every minute together.   It was the happiest Todd had been since his mother left.  Not only did he recapture the magic of a lost friendship, he also knew the joy of living in a real family for a while.  While Todd's father was away on business that summer, Todd stayed with Sam and his family.  He never knew what it was like to live in a normal household. 

 

Todd and Michelle spent many hours together reliving old childhood memories, while also creating new, more mature ones. There wasn't a day that went by that they weren't together. They enjoyed going to the movies and to plays together. Long, late night walks in the park. Or just some quiet time at home talking or watching reruns on TV. They both enjoyed old western movies, so there were times when they would rent movies and just sit close and enjoy each other's company.  One particular night, they were watching a movie and Todd noticed that Michelle was sitting a little closer than usual.  But he didn't feel crowded or uncomfortable.  He liked the feeling of her body next to his.  He felt like things were just as they should be.  At that moment, Todd finally realized just how much he truly loved Michelle. It may have had something to do with a scene in the movie that they were watching. Or it could have been how being that close to Michelle made him feel safe, loved and truly happy.  It let him see that despite his cruel and abusive past, he "was" human and capable of really loving someone. And that someone was Michelle.  He couldn't help but sit there and stare at her while thinking about how beautiful she was.  So different, but so beautiful.  He imagined what it would be like for his young, strong cream-colored hands to stroke every inch of her flawlessly smooth brown skin.

 

This went on for a bit before Michelle noticed that it wasn't the movie that Todd was watching . . . it was her. As she turned around to get a better look at him, she noticed the look that Todd had in his eyes. It was a soft, gentle look that Michelle had never seen before, and she asked him. "A penny for your thoughts?"  He responded by saying how much he has enjoyed being with her this summer and how he has always appreciated her being in his corner despite all the trouble that he used to get into, and for supporting him when he was having trouble with his father.

 

She sat up and gazed into those calm brown eyes and said, "I will always be here for you no matter what happens." After Michelle said this to Todd, he looked at her and felt like he was staring into her soul.  No words were said out loud, but they gave each other a look that spoke a thousand words.  He finally brushed back a strand of hair that had fallen into her face, lifted her chin to his face level and said, "I love you, Michelle.  Deep down I think I always have loved you, and I know I always will."  Michelle looked at Todd and said, "I love you too," and they fell into a kiss. It was a long, passionate, love-filled kiss that turned into a long, passionate night of continuous lovemaking. 

 

Chapter 4

 

The relationship between Todd and Michelle continued to become more and more serious.  They had spent their entire lives getting to know each other.  All that was left now was for them to love each other.  They were determined to love each other, no matter what their parents had to say about their "relationship".  Their parents didn't have a problem with their childhood friendship.  It was the blossoming adult relationship that was an issue. Michelle's parents didn't approve of Todd as a potential suitor.   They thought he was a trouble making kid from the wrong side of the track who was a bad influence on their daughter.  They were convinced that Todd persuaded Michelle not to return to her boarding school for her last year of high school.    They blamed him for this and didn't feel Todd was they type of boy their daughter should waste her time with. Peter disapproved of the relationship simply based on Michelle's race.  But Todd and Michelle didn't see any of those barriers.  They were in love.  And in spite of their parents' objections, Todd and Michelle were willing to go against the odds and continue to express their love for one another.

 

Todd and Michelle weren't naive though.  As their senior year of high school started, they realized that their parents would soon discover the true nature of their "adult" relationship.  Even though Todd had moved back home from Sam's, Peter still spent a lot of time out of town.  Most weekends Todd and Michelle spent alone at Todd's empty house.  Michelle would tell her parents a story about spending her weekends with some girlfriends, and since they trusted her, she never had a problem.  But they knew it was only a matter of time before their parents would start to doubt that story. They knew they wouldn't have a moment's happiness as long as they were in town. So, they decided to apply to colleges together, but far away from home.  Llanview University was the school they both got accepted to.  But, they waited until after graduation to tell their families about their decision. 

 

Of course, all they heard was more of the same type of arguments.  But Michelle's father was especially upset. He sincerely felt like his sweet, innocent little girl was about to ruin her life.  Michelle was such a smart girl with every financial resource available to her.  He didn't understand why would she settle on a small town school like Llanview University with a punk kid like Todd Manning. 

 

The end of the summer couldn't come fast enough for Todd and Michelle.  The sooner they left for school, the sooner they could get on with their lives.  However, Todd feared Michelle's father.  He was very protective of his daughter and would do anything he felt was in her best interest.  And in the judge's opinion, being involved with Todd was not in Michelle's best interest.  Todd worried that the judge would take drastic measures to stop Michelle from leaving with him.  But what worried Todd most was that the judge would be successful in his efforts.  

 

The day came when Todd's biggest fear was realized.  Several days pass without Todd hearing a word from Michelle.  Finally on the day they were supposed to leave for Llanview together, Todd goes over to her house.  Her father answers the door and wants to know why Todd is there.  Todd asks to see Michelle, but her father gives him the bad news - Michelle is gone.  He tells Todd that she realized that she didn't care for Todd and wanted to move on with a life that didn't include him.  Todd just stared at the judge in disbelief.  Until that moment, he had never realized how ruthless the man was.  But now he could see that he never stood a chance with Michelle.  The judge squashed his hopes of a decent life with Michelle and made sure there would be no happily ever after.

 

Todd was crushed.  His entire world had just come crashing down around him.  He didn't know who he was anymore because the one person he depended on had just deserted him.  That Todd died that day.  What emerged was the monster that lived within.  The monster created by years of Peter's abuse.  The monster created by a lack of a mother's love.  The monster that Michelle's love had been able to tame and control.  The monster set free by Judge Lincoln Westlake that made its way to Llanview, Pennsylvania and changed it forever. 

 

Chapter 5

 

The weekend had gone by too quickly.  Starr's visit was like a dream for Todd and Téa, but Blair's arrival Sunday evening woke them all up.  The little girl's visit sparked a light in Todd's eye that Téa hadn't seen in a long time.  Todd has spent the past year rebuilding his life after the hostage situation at the Buchanan Lodge.  It was a long road, but he made it because he knew Téa was waiting at the end.  They led a content life, but Starr's absence in the household was evident.  Starr being gone only served as a reminder to all that Todd had lost in the past. 

 

It was obvious that Todd missed out on having a mother, and there was a darkness in a part of his heart that Téa still could see.  A darkness that had made it so difficult for him to accept Téa's love.  His time in therapy healed him enough to be able to return the love that Téa so willingly gave, but Téa still didn't understand why it had been so difficult for him to love in the beginning.  She had a feeling it had something to do with his past.  Not so much his mother leaving him or his father raping him, but something equally as heart breaking.  

 

Téa's thoughts were interrupted by Todd coming back in the door.  He had walked Starr and Blair down to their car just to spend every moment possible with his daughter.  Téa could see the pain on his face from having to let Starr go, so she went over and tried to comfort him.

 

"It's going to be alright, Todd," she said, reaching her arms out to him.  "I know it was hard on you letting her go."

 

"Things just seemed like they were back to normal when she was here.  I almost forgot that Blair was coming back for her.  Téa, I never realized how much I missed Shorty.  And her next visit isn't for another month."

 

Téa knew how much Todd was hurting and wanted to help him.  She had to get his mind off of Starr somehow before he sank into that dark hole of depression waiting for him on the outskirts of their lives.

 

"Well then Mr. Manning.  I guess we're going to have to find something to do with ourselves until then," she says, looking seductively into his eyes.

 

"Sounds interesting, Delgado.  What do you have in mind?"   Téa moves close to Todd until their lips are almost touching. 

 

"I figure we can start off with a little of this, " she says, reaching up and allowing her lips to brush his briefly.  "Then we can move on to this."  This time she puts her arms around him and holds him close before pulling him into a long, deep kiss.  "And finally...."

 

"I think I can figure out the rest," he whispers breathlessly before swooping her up in his arms and carrying her upstairs to their bedroom.

 

They spent a passionate night losing themselves in each other.  No thoughts of the past.  No feelings of sadness from missing Starr.  Todd forgot about everything else in the arms of his love.   She had a way of making all of his worries disappear.  Loving her was his way of fighting off the memories that still haunted him from time to time.   Just for that night, he wanted to forget about the past and enjoy being with her.

 

The next morning, Téa awoke to an empty bed.  This was the usual routine.  After a passionate night, Todd generally needed time alone.  Therapy was helping him learn how to accept and express love, but he still was distant at times.  Times like this.  He probably went in early to work, she thought to herself.  She threw on a robe and went downstairs, expecting to find an empty penthouse.  But instead, what she found was a surprise breakfast waiting for her.

 

"What's all this?" she asks, as she walks over to the table, amazed.

 

"Oh, you're up," he says, looking up at her surprised. "I was trying to get everything finished before you came down.  Have a seat."

 

Todd holds a chair out for Téa as she looks at the table.  Her eyes begin to get misty and before she can stop it, the tears begin to flow.  Todd looks curiously at her, worried that he did something to upset her.

 

"Delgado, you alright?  Why are you crying?  Is this some weird hormone thing that pregnant women do?"

 

"Todd, this is just so sweet and romantic," she says between sobs.  She walks over and kisses him on the cheek on her way to her chair.  "But, what's the occasion?"

 

"Well, it's kind of an apology.  I kind of freaked out a few days when you mentioned that judge from Chicago.  It's just, you caught me off guard talking about him.  Back then . . ."

 

"You don't have to explain," she interrupts.  "I know you have a lot of bad memories from your childhood that you don't like talking about.  I'll wait until you're ready.  That was a lifetime ago.  And when you're ready, we'll deal with it.  Together."  She smiles at him as she grabs his hand and strokes it lightly.  They finish their breakfast in blissful silence.

 

"You have an appointment today, right?  Want some company?"  he asks her.

 

"You want to come to the doctor with me?  What's gotten into you, Todd?  Nevermind, don't answer that.  I'm just going to enjoy your giddy mood," she says giggling.  She playfully blows him a kiss as she skips up the stairs to get dressed.

 

Todd watched smiling as Téa went upstairs.  The pregnancy agrees with her.  He doesn't remember ever seeing her so content with life.   

 

"She deserves to be happy," Todd says to himself.  "I deserve to be happy.  I've finally found true happiness and I'm not going to let anything destroy that.  Not the memories.  Not the ghosts.  Not even Judge Lincoln Westlake."  With that declaration, Todd resolves to bury the past and live in the present.  He clears the breakfast dishes and prepares for the first day of the rest of his life. 

 

Chapter 6

 

After the doctor's appointment, Todd and Téa decided to go to the Palace for dinner.  While waiting on the meals to arrive, Viki came over to their table to greet them. 

 

"Hey you two. It's nice to see you out and around.  How was Starr's visit?" Viki asked.

 

"It was good.  But, I never realized how much I missed Shorty," said Todd.  "What are you doing here alone?"

 

"I'm actually waiting on someone.  They seem to be late, however."

 

"Waiting on someone, huh? What's up, Vik?  Got a hot date or something?" Todd jokingly asks his sister.

 

"Ha ha, Todd.  You are so funny sometimes.  No, it's not a hot date.  I'm meeting with the new head of the African Studies department at Llanview University."

 

"Well, they're not off to a good start, whoever they are.  Being late to a meeting with a University board member..."

 

"Well, Todd.  She's new in town.  She might have gotten lost.  Anyway, I'm going back to my table now.  You two enjoy your dinner." 

 

Viki left just as the meals were arriving.  Todd and Téa enjoyed their dinner, and then decided to go out on the terrace for a little fresh air.  Todd was still a little sad about Starr, but looking at Téa's pregnant outline in the moonlight made him realize that he had plenty to be grateful for.  He remembered the promises he'd made himself that morning about taking his life back.  For the first time in a long time, he had the hope of a promising future. He finally knew what true happiness felt like.  Todd smiles at Téa and takes her hand.  She could look in his eyes and see something had changed in him.  It was like a great burden had been lifted. 

 

"You seem different, Todd.  All day today," she says to him.

 

"Different in a bad way or different in a good way?"

 

"Definitely different in a good way.  You seem lighter, freer, happier somehow."

 

"Well, I feel lighter, freer and happier.  I just decided that it was time to finally lay to rest those things that were behind me and live for what was in front of me. You.  Starr.  Our baby, " he says as he rests his hand on her growing belly.  "My past is my past.  Things happened that I can't change.  All I can do now is enjoy the things to come."  He sweeps her hair back out of her eyes and looks deeply into them.  He can almost see the rest of their glorious lives in her eyes and decides to seal their fate with a kiss.

 

"Let's get out of here, Delgado."

 

Just as they get ready to leave, Viki comes out with her guest.

 

"Good, you haven't left yet," she says.  "I just wanted you to meet the newest addition to the Llanview University staff."

 

But as Viki began the introductions, Todd realized it wasn't necessary to introduce him to someone he already knew.  Viki's guest wasn't a stranger to him.  She was more like a ghost from Todd's newly buried past coming back to haunt him.  And that ghost had a name - Michelle Westlake.

 

The moon shone down on Michelle, giving her a mysterious glow.  For a minute, Todd thought she might be a ghost.  He wanted to reach out to touch her, to make sure she was real.  But both Todd and Michelle just stood there, speechless and in shock.  Nobody seemed to notice their gazes frozen only on each other.  Viki continued on with the introductions.

 

"Todd, Téa . . .  this is Dr. Michelle Westlake.  She's going to be the new head of the University's African Studies department."

 

"Westlake?  Any relation to Judge Lincoln Westlake?" Téa asks curiously, remembering the newspaper article she just read on the man.

 

Todd and Michelle continued to stand there staring at each other for what seemed like an eternity.  Finally, Todd managed to pick out a few words from the millions of thoughts bombarding his mind.

 

"Yeah.  She's his daughter," he says softly, almost in a whisper.

 

Michelle just looks down.  Téa finally notices the tension between her husband and this woman.

 

"Do you two know each other?" she wants to know, looking back and forth at the two of them, trying to see what's going on.

 

Another long silence follows the question, only making Téa a little more suspicious of this stranger.  Michelle looks up at Téa, as if she's finally found some words to say, but Todd beats her to it.

 

"Know her?  I thought I knew her.  But I was wrong.  She's nothing like the person I thought I knew," he angrily spits out. 

 

"What's that supposed to mean, Todd," Michelle asks, getting annoyed too and stepping closer to Todd. 

 

Before Todd can answer, Viki steps in between them.  It's obvious now to her and Téa that there is something between Todd and Michelle.  And the conversation was starting to head into a dangerous direction.  They needed to calm down before they ended up making a scene. 

 

"Listen you two, I can see that there's a lot you need to discuss.  You obviously have some unresolved issues.  But this is not the way to do it," Viki says to them.

 

Todd looks at his sister, and then to his wife.  He notices how tired and distressed Téa looks. 

 

"You're right, Viki.  I'm sorry," Todd apologizes.  "Will you take Téa home for me?  She's exhausted."

 

Téa looks at Todd as if to say that she's staying, but Todd tells her it's best that she leaves right now.  He holds her in his arms for a moment, and gently kisses her before she leaves.  Her love is his strength.  He is going to need that strength for the fight he's facing.

 

Chapter 7

 

Todd stands there for a moment and watches as Viki leads Téa out of the Palace.  She doesn't need this, he thinks to himself.  We've just got our lives back on track  . . .  and now this.  Then he turns around and looks at Michelle.  There was so much he'd always wanted to say to her, the woman who stole his heart and left it broken.  But now that she was right there in front of him, he couldn't find any words.  All he could do was remember.  Years of memories flooded his mind.  He remembered the adorable little three-year-old girl he ate sand with.  He remembered the eight-year-old tomboy he climbed trees with.  He remembered the twelve-year-old budding beauty he shared his first kiss with.  Most of all, he remembered the young woman he shared first love with.  All these memories softened his heart towards her a little.  Anger was no longer his dominant emotion.  He just wanted to understand why she left him.  But this time, Michelle is the first to speak.

 

"So, you have nothing to say to me after all these years?" she asks him, with an angry tone still in her voice. 

 

This confused Todd.  Why did she sound upset with him, he wondered to himself.  Then he started to get angry again, realizing that she somehow blamed him for their separation.

 

"Me?  Why should I have something to say to you?  I think you owe me an explanation," he barks at her.

 

"You did get an explanation!" she yells at him.  "And I've been waiting 10 years for a reply."

 

"What kind of reply did you expect?  Michelle, you left me.  You left me alone with only our dead hopes and dreams to haunt me.  All I knew were those hopes and those dreams.  I didn't even know you were gone until your father said . . . "

 

"Wait a minute. My father told you something?  What did he say?  You didn't get my letter?"  Michelle's face suddenly drops as doubt and confusion starts to enter her mind.

 

"I didn't get any letter Michelle.  On the day we were supposed to leave for Llanview, I went to get you, but you weren't home.  Your father told me you were gone to live the kind of life I couldn't give you.  He said you realized that you would be better off without me."

 

Michelle is once again shocked to silence.  She collapses onto the nearest chair and looks up at Todd.  She just stares at him while she attempts to process his version of history.  If what he's saying is true, then he really didn't owe her any explanation.  He really would have a right to be angry with her.  And he really would have the right to hate her because in his eyes, she had betrayed him.  She begins to cry uncontrollably at this new revelation.  Todd never got her letter.  He never knew the real reason why she left. 

 

"Michelle, are you all right?"  Todd tries to comfort her, but she pulls away, ashamed of the mess her father has made of their lives.  "Michelle, what letter were you talking about?  I never got any letter from you."

 

But Michelle could no longer bear the guilt she felt.  She sobbed a hasty apology to Todd and ran to her room, leaving Todd with more questions than before.

 

Todd stood alone on the terrace, absorbing the shock. A chapter of his life that he thought was closed had been forced open by the reappearance of his first love.  Her betrayal turned him into the monster the citizens of Llanview have come to hate.  However, based on Michelle's recent actions, Todd is starting to believe that there may be more to her betrayal than he knows about.

 

"She left me alone just like this 10 years ago - hurt, clueless and confused.  But not tonight.  I won't let her do that to me again.  I have to find her," Todd said to himself before running back inside toward the hotel, chasing the answers to the questions that had gone unanswered for far too long. 

 

Michelle ran all the way to her room, every step carrying her farther and farther away from Todd.  But distance didn't stop her agony.  She had learned that years ago.  Hating him is the only thing that eased her pain.  However, no matter how far she tried to run from Todd, she knew it was only a matter of time before he came looking for her.  And looking for some answers.  She decided it was time they both quit running and faced the past together.

 

Just as she was gathering some strength to confront Todd again, she heard a knock at the door.  She went to open it, only to find herself standing face to face with him.

 

"How did you find me?  Never mind.  It's not important.  Please.  Come in," she says to him.

 

"We have a lot to talk about, Michelle.  I get the feeling there's a lot more going on than you're telling me."

 

"There is, Todd.  There's a lot more going on than either of us could ever imagine."  They sit down and Michelle begins to cry again.

 

"I'm sorry," she says.  "I can't help it.  Todd, I never knew that I hurt you so much.  You have to believe that I would never leave you without a word.  You have to know that I would never trust my father to give you a message like that.  Todd, I loved you."

 

"Well I loved you too.  That's why it hurt so much.  If you didn't leave me like I thought you did, then what happened?  What exactly was in this letter I never received?"

 

"Todd, it was my father.  He made me leave.  He wouldn't even let me tell you where I was going.  He threatened to take away  . . .  something I loved dearly, something I couldn't bear to part with.  But, I took the risk anyway.  I sent you a letter to tell you where I was and why I left.  I waited years for you to find me.  Then I just figured you didn't want to find me, that you didn't want to take responsibility for . . ."  Michelle's voice trails off.  She looks down to hide the tears welling up in her eyes again. 

 

"Michelle, I never got the letter," Todd softly says with his hand lightly on her chin, lifting her face up to look into her teary eyes.  "Hey, don't cry.  I understand what happened now.  We were just pawns in your father's game.  But look, the joke's on him.  We found each other again." 

 

Michelle backs away.  "Todd, we can't go back to the way we used to be.  Too much has happened.  Too much time has gone by."

 

"But we can go back, Michelle.  We have to.  But not back to that romantic stuff.  I'm talking about the friendship.  You were my best friend.  I missed you," he says, grabbing her for a warm hug.

 

They stay locked in the embrace for a moment, getting familiar with each other's touch again.  But Michelle couldn't enjoy the reconciliation for very long.  A nagging guilt still ate away at her heart.  Todd's only heard half the story.  What she still had to tell him could blow their newly rekindled friendship right out of the water.

 

"Todd," she says as she pulls away from his arms. "This whole thing has been a big misunderstanding caused by my father trying to run my life.  But I thought you hurt me.  And I wanted to hurt you back.  The only way to do that was to keep something from you."

 

"What are you trying to tell me, Michelle?"

 

"I'm trying to tell you the rest of the story.  The missing pieces to make you understand how my father could make me do what I did.  You see, there was something I never got to tell you.  Before we were supposed to leave Chicago, I had a doctor's appointment.   The doctor gave me some interesting news, Todd.  He told me I was . . ."

 

Michelle's sentence was interrupted by the startling sound of the bedroom door opening. Todd didn't know anyone else was staying at her suite with her.  Maybe she has a husband or something, he thinks to himself.  But a man doesn't emerge from the room.  A small child does.

 

"Mommy, are you okay? I thought I heard you crying," says the little boy.  He looks curiously at the strange man standing in his mother's hotel room.  After checking Todd out to make sure he wasn't a threat to his mom, the little boy offers his hand to Todd to shake.  "Hi, my name is Ryan.  Are you a friend of my mom's?"

 

Todd just nods his head, unable to speak.  He stared unbelievably at Michelle's son.  He was a handsome kid about 9 or 10 years old.  He saw a lot of Michelle in the boy.  But Todd wasn't prepared for what else he saw when he looked at Ryan.  He looked into the little boy's eyes - and saw his own. 

 

Chapter 8

 

Todd stands there in stunned silence, still grasping the little boy's hand and not fully able to comprehend what he was seeing.  The boy was the spitting image of Michelle, yet the eyes were the tell tale sign.  The eyes belonged to Todd.  Todd manages to smile at the little boy and squeak out a weak, "Nice to meet you" before finally letting his hand go and turning away so no one would see him on the verge of crying. 

 

Michelle notices Todd struggling to fight back the tears.  She wants to bury herself in the floor knowing that she caused him that kind of pain with her secrets.  But, something has been started now and it can't be stopped.  It's time for the whole story to come out.  She takes her son back to bed and emerges from the room a few minutes later, composed and ready finish what's begun.

 

"I guess that was the rest of the story you were telling me about," Todd says, motioning towards the child's bedroom door.

 

"Todd, I was trying to tell you."

 

"This is great.  Now you were trying to tell me.  Michelle, it's been years since we've seen each other.  Years that you've kept my . . ."  But Todd can't bring himself to say the word.  A son.  His son.  Could it really be possible?  He wipes back a tear that managed to escape.

 

"Todd, until about an hour ago, I thought you didn't want anything to do with us.  You never responded to my letter."

 

"Here we go again with that letter.  Michelle, how many times do I have to tell you.  I never got your letter!"  Todd catches himself before his voice gets too loud.  He didn't want to alarm the child.  He turns away from Michelle to collect his thoughts.

 

"Michelle.  We were best friends.  I mean, best friends.  We grew up together.  We knew everything there was to know about each other.  You had to have known . . . I mean, how could you just believe I would just walk out on you and our . . ."

 

"Our son," she finishes for him.  "Ryan is our son."  She pauses, as if to let the words sink in.  She couldn't believe she was finally saying them out loud.  She's started this conversation many times in her head, but the words have finally found a life of their own. 

 

"But you're right, Todd," she continues.  "We were best friends.  So I want to ask you the same question you just asked me.  How could you believe that I would walk out on you?"

 

She paused again for a few seconds, but not really expecting an answer. 

 

"There's really no need now to go back and try to figure out what happened.  We know what happened.  My father," she says quietly, then looks down.  It feels good to finally have everything out in the open, but she couldn't bare to look at Todd.  Not yet.  He's been hurt by her.  His entire dysfunctional adult life was based on her unintentional betrayal. 

 

"I have to go," Todd says abruptly after another long silence.

 

"Todd!  You can't leave now.  We're in the middle of . . ."

 

"Look, you've had the past 10 years or so to get used to this . . . new development, for lack of a better word.  Can you at least give me a few hours to . . ."

 

"You're right.  I'm sorry.  It just seems like you're running away again.  But for real this time.  I've had this conversation with myself so many times, wondering what you would say and do when you found out about Ryan.  But it always ended the same way.  I always feared you would hate me and I always imagined you would turn and run as far away from us as possible."

 

"Don't feel that way," he says, grabbing her hand.  "That's not what's going on here now.  I'm not trying to run away.  I just need a little time, okay?  Good night," he says as he lifts her hand to his lips, kissing it lightly before turning to walk out the door.

 

 

      

 

 

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