Disclaimer: These characters aren't mine. Well, some of them are. But the
important ones are all property of MTM and NBC Productions and used without
permission. I'm not making any money out of this . . . . Blah, blah, blah. You
know the drill.
The Man Of My Dreams
By Nicky
Miss Parker sits alone in the dark, smoky bar, staring into the bottom of an empty shot glass. She usually didn't start off with the hard liquor right away, but tonight was an exception. She wasn't there for a casual evening of drinking. She was there to forget.
It's been a year. One long year since they took Tommy from her. And one long year that the killer has gone unpunished. She couldn't believe how unfair the world could be at times. Where was the justice?
She looks again into the glass and can see a distorted reflection of herself. She wondered to herself if that's how the rest of the world saw her. A fragmented person barely holding it together at the seams. How could she let herself become this? How could her life had taken such a drastic turn?
When her mother was alive, things were perfect. Her father may have neglected her, but her mother was always there. She may have had to spend endless hours at the Centre, but she had Jarod there for company. Her life was fairly normal for a young girl. But what happened to turn her into the hideous creature staring into a shot glass? But a better question would be what could she do to change her life? Because she knew this wasn't the person her mother wanted her to become.
Her thoughts are distracted by the sudden feeling of a pair of eyes on her back. She didn't even have to turn around to see who was there. She just knew who it was.
"How do you always know where to find me, Jarod?" she asks with her back still turned.
"The same way that you always know that I'm here," he replies. He doesn't wait for an invitation before taking the seat on the bar stool next to her. "Even when I don't say anything."
"I guess it's one of those unsolved mysteries." She motions for the bartender to get her another drink. Water instead of the whiskey. She could start changing her life from this moment on. Even if it was just turning down a drink, it was a start. "So, to what do I owe this honor? It's not every day you pay me a visit live and in person like this."
"I know what today is, Miss Parker. It's been a year since Thomas has been gone. I just wanted to make sure you were alright."
"Well, I'm not," she whispers, holding her head down so he wouldn't see the sadness on her face.
"I can tell. I've been here almost 5 minutes now and you haven't once threatened to take me back to the Centre. Definitely not the Miss Parker I've come to know and love," he says with a little smile, hoping to cheer her up a bit.
"I'm not in the mood to take you back to the Centre tonight," she says somberly. "In fact, I have other ideas in mind."
"Like what?"
"You're a pretender, right? I need you to pretend to be somebody else."
"Who?"
"The man of my dreams."
"You want me to do what?" he asks incredulously. He looked at her like she was crazy. Just what was she thinking?
"Don't look at me like that, Jarod," she growls. "And don't say anything. Just shut up and come dance with me. If you keep quiet, this just might work."
She grabs his hand and pulls him onto the dance floor just as a slow song started to play on the jukebox. She didn't care what song it was. Just as she didn't care whose arms she was about to be in. She just needed something. She needed someone. Someone to hold her. And she could pretend her life was perfect again.
She stops once they get to the middle of the floor and turns around to face him. But she can't bring herself to look at his face. It would ruin the whole effect. She didn't need a face tonight. She just needed someone. But not just anyone. Someone she could trust. Someone who could be anyone she wanted. And Jarod could do that. He was good at pretending. And she trusted him more than she trusted anyone of those other men in that bar. She buries her head in his chest and wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him as close to her possible.
He wraps his arms around her waist, not really sure what to do about the whole situation. What harm could it do? She just needed someone to hold her. He should feel honored that she asked him, right? And pretending was easy for him. All he had to do was push aside all of his feelings and emotions and be someone else for her. He just had to forget about what it felt like to hold her in his arms. And he just had to forget about the sweet smell of her hair filling his nostrils. And he just had to forget about the feel of her heart beating against his chest, drumming to a perfect rhythm with his own. Was it just him or was it starting to get a little warm in here?
'This is nice,' she thinks to herself. It's been a long time since someone has held her like this. Not since Thomas. But she has to push that image out of her mind. She's here to forget Tommy. Not wallow in his memory. She imagines instead that she's in the arms of a mysterious stranger. Tall, dark and handsome. With a long, lean body and big, broad shoulders. He holds her closely and guides her expertly across the floor. Their bodies move as if one.
He pulls her a little closer, moving her fluidly around the dance floor. She seemed a million miles away, yet closer to him than she's been in a really long time. Not since they were kids. They danced like this once, he remembers. They were snooping around the Centre one day and found some old records. She taught him to waltz that day. But all he can remember is how he got to hold her in his arms, much like he's doing now.
She feels the stranger tighten his grip around her waist, pulling her even closer. At first she feels it's a bit presumptuous of him, but she soon settles into the closeness. It feels so comforting. So familiar. So . . . . perfect.
He starts to get a picture in his mind of what she wants him to be. She wants him to be quiet. He already knew that because she said earlier that talking would ruin things. But she didn't want him to be silent. Because she wanted to speak to his heart. He had to know what she wanted without her having to say it. And she wanted him to be close. But not just physically close. She wanted a real connection with someone. On a deeper level. She wanted to be in someone's arms and know that he would do anything for her. No problem. He could do all that for her, he figures to himself. Because he has been doing that for her. All his life. But tonight, he had to do it while pretending to be someone else, because that's what she really needs from him at the moment.
Miss Parker sighs contentedly as the image of her stranger becomes clearer in her mind. He seems to know her. To understand her. He can anticipate her every want and desire and fulfill them before she even has to ask. And soon she begins to realize that this stranger in her arms was truly the man in her dreams. The man she fantasized about. A man she didn't think could exist, but was right there in the flesh. Holding her. Knowing her. Understanding her. Without her having to say a word to him. How could he do that?
She couldn't shake the feeling that this stranger wasn't a stranger after all. He knew her too well. She couldn't stop thinking that somehow, he has always been within her grasp, but she just didn't know how to reach him. Because he was holding her like it was something he had done before. And she couldn't seem to understand how these feelings were more than mere fantasy. They were more like memories. Memories from a time when she was happier. Younger. And life was perfect. Memories from her days with Jarod!
The song ends and Miss Parker steps away from her stranger. She's still afraid to look at him because now she knows the face he will have. He wouldn't be a stranger after all. He'd be someone she's known her entire life. And she wasn't ready to face him just yet. She wasn't ready for him to be the man of her dreams. She wasn't ready to admit that he was her soul mate.
After the song, Jarod feels Miss Parker extricate herself from his embrace. He didn't realize how tightly he was holding her until she was no longer in his arms. Instantly his heart began to ache, as if someone had just taken a part of it. He stares at her, but notices that she refuses to look up at him. After a long, silent minute, he finally decides to just leave her alone. He slowly turns to leave when he's stopped by her voice.
"Thank you, Jarod."
"It was no problem. I just hope I was able to help you," he replies softly.
"You did help me. I'm able to see things now that I couldn't see before," she says walking towards him. She finally allows herself to look into his eyes. The innocent adoration and love that she saw in his eyes for her as a child was still there, but was deepened by a maturation that she never noticed before. She realized at that moment that he's never changed. Not from the first day they met. She was the one who changed. She was the one who forgot about the love and the happiness they shared. She was the one to blame for the disaster their lives have become. She couldn't blame him anymore for her troubles.
"I'm glad I helped. That's pretty much what I do these days. I pretend to be what I'm not to help people when they need it."
"But you weren't pretending tonight. Were you?" she whispers before running out the door.
He doesn't get a chance to answer. When he turns to follow her, he sees that she's already gone. Just like that. One minute she was in his arms, the next she was out the door. But he wouldn't have known what to say to her, even if she did stick around to listen to him. How could he have told her he wanted to be the man of her dreams?
She runs all the way to her car before stopping to catch her breath and finally allowing the tears to fall. She has years of crying to do. Years of her life that she wasted being someone that nobody could love. But ironically, someone had always loved her. And that someone was just left standing in a bar, probably pretty hurt and confused right now. But she couldn't go to him. She wasn't ready just yet. He deserved better. She had to fix her life from the shambles it had become. She had to find that little girl inside of her who knew how to love him. The little girl who knew how to be happy. And maybe then, she'd be ready. Maybe then, she could grow to be the woman of his dreams.
The End.