A glimpse into my...
    Comprehension is difficult when we don't realise the situation we're in is different from what it seems.  We grow up knowing one thing, is it surprising we've tricked ourselves inot thinking life is really like that?  Someone says "I love you" to you, and your mind goes back to fairytales and silly childhood dreams of what love should be but really isn't.  You assume, naively, that they are thinking the same thing as you, that they hold those words to the same reverence.  But what is love, if it isn't subjective and ever changing?  He could think love is something that doesn't require committment or monogamy, and he could be saying it to any number of women.  While you're thinking of white pickett fences and owning a dog together, he could be thinking of all the fun he's going to have with his "loves."  And unfortunately, "I love you" could be just a play to get you in bed, at which point his interest in you is sated.  Worst case scenarious perhaps, but perhaps they happen to often as it is.  Not one of us can read the minds of another, and it is much easier to say and do what you don't really mean than you might think it is.
On Love
On Surviving
    Supposedly there are two types of people, those who believe that life is worth living and those who do not.  The first group lives while the second group dies in many varied ways of taking things into their own hands.  But I disagree, I believe there is a third group, those who believe that life isn't worth living but choose to live anyways.  Perhaps its to punish themselves for being who they are.  Or obligations or duty to others that keep them here.  Or it could simply be fear of pain or death, or fear of the unknown after death.  It seems to me that this is the group to pity, the poor souls who see the truth of the world but still choose to live in it.
On Empathy
    To feel for others is an intangible thing, something that comes and goes and can be stronger sometimes than others.  And it does not follow that having experienced something that you can relate to someone else going through the same thing.  Having been hurt before, it doesn't follow that you'll realize how hurt someone else is.  Having been in love before, it doesn't follow that you'll understand how long it takes to get over that first broken heart.  It is almost worse to feel what you feel when there is nobody who thinks your feelings are real. Is it that only their feelings are real to them?
On First Feelings
    Does it follow that a first time is less real?  The first time you fall in love, is it less real because you don't know what love really is, or more real because it's the first time you've given your heart to another?  Are your feelings less real because you're young and haven't had experience with love, or more real because you're naive enough to open yourself up too much?  Shouldn't it be you who decides, you who examines your life and determines what is real or not?  An examination made more difficult by the world's assumption that reality is for them to determine and you are there for them to judge.
All writings on this page are the property of Carol Borroff and can not be duplicated without permission. (c) 2001
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