ok I'll get this started out with a piece of advice my father gave me on my graduation day.
"Always drive careful and use your safety belt; 93% of all people are caused by accidents"
Then he went on to say something about condom baby, ruined my life... I don't really know, we were all kinda drunk and incoherent. Aint beer grand? Always helping ugly people get laid, make your work day slip by like nothing and always good for an adrenalin rush if you're stupid enough to drive. Want to get your day started off right, grab a beer. Beer and snickers, the breakfast of champions.
Seriously though, don't drink and drive, it won't turn out well.
I personally have only driven drunk once, not a good idea; well actually all was going fine, I was almost home I kept thinking, drive slow, not too slow so I did 53 mph, I was focused as I could possibly be, first I had to determine which two lines to stay between then to keep my car pointed straight. I really thought I was going to make it, when all of a sudden out of nowhere I nail a fuckin cow, man!
I don't know what a damn cow was doing in the middle of that field anyhow!
My advice to you is always wear sun glasses... you never know when you'll be walking along and somewhere over head a seagull will take a shit and wham!! just like that you're blind and stinky.
![[Jokes]](http://us.yimg.com/i/ligans/cb/smjoke.gif)
