CHAPTER 38 A few days have passed and Alexis is able to come home. V and Rachel have moved out and Tommy has been staying with the Quatermaine�. Brooke has since gone home with her mother but Lois has promised her that the minute Kristin is found they can come back. Nobody has seen or heard from the little girl since the day that the man swears he saw her in the park. Alexis is sitting on the couch with her knees balled up to her chest. She�s been staring out the front window for at least three hours. Ned was in the kitchen making some phone calls to no avail. He slowly walked out into the living room holding a pot of coffee, only to stop and place his head against the doorframe. He just stood there and watched her cry. He knew he couldn�t take away her pain and he knew she wouldn�t talk to him about it. To him her silence was like a whole new kind of betrayal, one that he didn�t even know where to big fighting it. When he though she was sleeping with Jax at least there was someone to blame someone solid to take his anger out on. But between losing the baby, his daughter missing and his wife so solemn he didn�t know which way to turn. The ringing of the phone disturbed his thoughts, Alexis however was so lost in herself that she didn�t even her it ring. �Hello.� Ned replied as he answered the phone. �Hey Ned it�s me Monica.� �What�s up?� �How�s Alexis?� �Basically the same as she was in the hospital.� �Any word on Kristin?� �No.� �Don�t give up hope Ned and more importantly don�t let her give up.� �I have no intention of giving up until I find my little girl.� �Listen Ned the reason I�m calling is Tracy is awake and she�s been asking for you.� Ned shook his head. �Monica I can�t leave her.� �I know. I just thought I�d call you and let you know.� �Thank you and tell her I will try and come by and see her soon.� Ned stated before hanging up the phone. ~*~ �Well you seem to be in a good mood.� Monica replied as Emily came running up behind her. �I am mom.� Emily screeched. �Lucky is coming home today.� �That is wonderful news Emily.� Monica said as she hugged her. �Have they found out who was responsible for the bomb at L&B yet?� �No, not that I�m aware of.� �Who ever set that bomb almost killed a lot of innocent people.� �I know sweetie.� �Alexis should be home right now trying to figure out what color to paint the nursery or weather or not she plans on breastfeeding. Not mourning the loss of her unborn child because of some wacko who had some sick revenge in mind.� �You just concentrate on your husband and baby and let the police worry about who tried to blow up L&B.� �I wanted to stop in and see Alexis earlier today before she left the hospital but I just didn�t know what to say to her.� �I know it�s hard, I saw her before she left and I didn�t even know what to say to her.� ~*~ A few more hours have passed as Ned makes his way back into the living room. He is shocked to see that Alexis is no longer sitting on the couch. He looks around the house a few times before he spots her sitting on the swing in the backyard. He picks up a blanket and walks over to her. He sits down next to her and covers them both. She lays her head against his chest as he wraps his arms around her. ****FLASHBACKS**** �Oh my god Ned get the camera I think she�s going to do it.� Alexis screams. �Come on Kristin walk to mommy.� Alexis looks back and notices Ned. �she�s really going to do it Ned. Kristin lets go of the table and takes two steps before falling on her bottom. �Stand her back up and place her hand back on the table.� Ned yells. Alexis stands her back up and inches back a little. �Come on baby girl you can do it......come to mommy.� �Where�s mommy Kristin?� Ned asked nearly tripping over Alexis. Alexis� eyes lit up as Kristin once again let go of the table and started to walk across the floor. This time taking twice as many steps before falling down. �Good girl� Alexis says as she picks the 10 month old up. Ned turned off the camera and sat down next to them. �You know you keep this up little girl and your mommy is going to be chasing you all over the house soon.� �I can�t wait.� Alexis laughingly replied while playing peek-a-boo with Kristin. �You say that now but trust me when this little angel of yours starts getting into everything you�ll wish she wasn�t walking yet.� �Uh where�d daddy go?� Alexis asked as she placed Kristin� hands over his eyes and then removed them. �There he is.� �Do you know how stillY you�ve become Mrs. Ashton since you had this little girl.� Alexis blew in Kristin face and made her laugh. �No more sillier then you.� Ned couldn�t help but laugh at how carefree Alexis was around their daughter. And yet was still the same cold hearted lawyer in the court room. ****END FLASHBACK**** ~*~ Kristin woke up and looked around. She had no idea where she was or how she got there. She wasn�t scared at all until she heard the door knob turn and someone walk in. �Well hello there.� Kristin hid her head under the covers. �I want my mommy.� �Well I can�t get you your mommy but I can get you something to eat.� �I want my daddy.� �I�m sorry sweetie but your mommy and daddy are in a place that even I can�t get them out of.� Kristin took the blanket off her head and stared at the person in front of her. �Mommy says heaven is where you go when you die.� �You�ve got a pretty smart mommy.� �Is that where my mommy and daddy are now?� �Yes they are.� �Mommy says once you go to heaven you can�t go back home.� �No you can�t.� �So that means I�ll never see my mommy or daddy ever again.� �You�ll still see them in you�re dreams and they�ll always be in your heart.� �Did Tommy go to heaven with them?� �No Tommy is with your daddy�s grandma and grandpa.� �I miss Tommy.� �Well how about if I have someone bring Tommy here, so that he can live with us? Would you like that?� �Tommy can live here with us?� �He sure can.� Kristin got off the bed and walked around the room. �Who does all this stuff belong to?� �Well some of it use to belong to your mommy and some of it I had brought in just for you.� �My mommy use to sleep here?� �She sure did.......and see that tree out there?� �Yea.� �Well your mommy would always climb that tree with her brother Stefan.� Kristin� eyes lit up at the mention of his name. �Is Uncle Stefan going to live with us too?� �No sweetie Uncle Stefan has to much work to do back in Port Charles.� �You�re pretty.� �Thank you and do you know I can see a little bit of you�re mommy�s daddy in you.� �You knew my mommy�s daddy.� �I was once married to him.� �Does that mean you�re my grandma?� �I guess it does.� Helena replied with an evil grin. ~*~ Late on that evening Ned comes down the stairs, looking for Alexis. �Sweetheart that was the police that just called and there�s still no word on Kristin.� He looks around the living room and notices she�s not there. So he walks into the kitchen. �But don�t worry they aren�t giving up.� He walks out of the kitchen after finding no sign of her and opens the front door. He walks down the front steps calling out her name before realizing her car is gone. Quickly he runs back into the house and dials a number. �Quatermaine residence.� �Hey Reginald it�s me Ned by any chance did Alexis show up to get Tommy?� �I haven�t seen her.� �Alright thanks.............listen if you should hear from her please give me a call on my cell phone right away.� �I will. Is everything okay.� �I hope so.� Ned replied before hanging up the phone. He picked up the phone again and tried her cell phone number only to get pissed off and slam the phone down when he hears her phone ringing from the other room. �Where the hell are you Alexis?� He screamed as the phone rang. �Alexis?� �Hello Mr. Ashton.� The man on the other end replied. �You don�t know me but I�m calling to let you know that you�re wife is down at what use to be L&B.� �What?� Ned yelled. �I tried to tell her it wasn�t safe for her to be here but she wouldn�t listen.� �Thank you I�ll come and get her right away.� Ned hung up the phone grabbed his keys and headed out the front door. It didn�t take him long to get to the Studio. He quickly got out of the car and ran over to her. She was just sitting there staring at a pile of blood among some burnt pieces of wood. �Come on sweetie.� Ned stated as he placed his hands around her waist and pulled her off her feet. �It isn�t safe for you to be here.� Alexis looked at Ned and busted out crying. �I�m so sorry Ned if I would have stayed home like you asked Kristin wouldn�t be missing and our baby wouldn�t be dead.� Ned knew this wasn�t the time or place for them to be discussing the baby, but it was one of the few times Alexis ever mentioned it. �What happened wasn�t your fault.� He grabbed her face. �Someone wanted this building to explode and that person is the only person responsible for us losing our child.� �But you asked me to stay home and I didn�t.� �The only reason I told you to stay home is because I wanted you to rest.� He kissed her cheek. �If you would have shown up and nothing happened I would have been more then happy to see you.� �Why?� She asked through her tears. �After everything that we have been through in the last year, why did we have to lose our baby?� Ned grabbed her and held her tight. �I don�t know......I wish I did but I don�t.� Alexis pulled out of his grip and looked around. �It all happened right here. In less then one minute our whole life changed.� Ned rested his hands on the back of her shoulders. �Alexis honey let�s go home and talk about this.� Alexis turned and looked at him. �I�ve lost my baby, my little girl is missing and all I want right now is to hold my son.� �Then let�s go get him.� He replied as he slowly helped her through the rubbage and back to his car. ~*~ ~ PCPD ~ �Mac we just arrested a man named David Wilson.� Taggert said as he came running into the police station. �In connection to the bombing at L&B.� Mac threw the file he was reading down on the desk. �Has he told you anything?� �Not yet, I was hoping maybe you could get something out of him.� �Well then what are we waiting for.� �Hey guys what�s up?� Hannah asked as they blew by her. �We think we got the guy who planted the bomb at L&B Studios.� Mac stopped and replied. �What happened with the lead you got on Kristin Ashton?� �Just another dead end.� Hannah said as she looked down at the floor. �I can�t believe how easily a child could just disappear without a trace.� �I don�t care how many dead end leads we get.� Mac yelled as he started walking off with Taggert. �You follow through on everyone of them and make sure they�re really dead. We have to find that little girl.� ~*~ ~ Quatermaine Mansion ~ �This is outrageous.� Edward bellowed as he hung up the phone. �What�s the matter now, did you latest takeover of an unexpected company suddenly wise up and get the better of you.� Alan asked as he walked into the room. �I just don�t understand why I pay those good for nothing people.� �Who are you talking about?� Alan asked as he poured himself a drink. �The private investigators I hired to find my granddaughter.� �I was under the impression that you still don�t believe she even is your Granddaughter.� Monica yelled as she walked over to Alan and kissed him on the cheek. �Hey sweetheart, how was work?� Alan asked. �I paid those fools good money and all they can tell me is were working on it.� Edward yelled. �Shh, Edward or you�ll wake the baby.� Lila said as Reginald wheeled her into the room. �Letica finally got him to sleep the poor thing.� �What the hell is that good for nothing nanny doing back in this house?� Edward yelled. �That happens to be the woman I love your talking about.� Reginald stated. �She�s taking care of Tommy for me.� Lila replied. �Did I hear my son�s name mentioned?� Ned asked as he walked over and kissed his grandmother. �Why hello Ned, where is Alexis.� �She�s out in the car, I�ve come to pick up Tommy and take him home.� Edward threw his hands up in the air. �What now she�s to good to be seen with the rest of the family?� �Grandfather Alexis has been through a lot and the last thing she needed was a confrontation with you.� Ned replied. �So I asked her to stay in the car.� �How is she doing?� Lila asked as she held his hand. �I know between losing the baby and this mess with Kristin she must be going out of her mind.� Ned knelt down next to her. �She�s quite most of the time and I think that�s what scares me the most.� �Just give her time my dear boy, don�t push her to talk about anything she isn�t ready to discuss.� �I�ll go get Tommy for you.� �Thanks Reginald.� Ned replied as he stood up. �Don�t worry Grandmother I haven�t so far.� �How are you holding up Ned?� Monica asked. Ned placed his hands over his face and sighed loudly. �I don�t know, I just don�t know how much longer I can handle everything that�s going on.� Monica walked over and put her hand on his shoulder. �Mac has every officer he can spare out looking for Kristin.� She turns and looks at Edward. �And the old man over there has hired a team of investigators to find her, so don�t give up hope.� Reginald walks into the room with a sleeping Tommy. �Would you like me to put him in the car?� �No thanks I�ll take him.� Ned replies as Reginald hands him to him. �I�ll take his things out to the car for you then.� Reginald and Ned walk over to the car and Alexis gets out. She has tears in her eyes as she looks upon her son sleeping peacefully in his daddy�s arms. Reginald puts his things in the car and walks back inside. �Why don�t you get back in the car and I�ll hand him to you?� Ned asked. �No you can hold him, I�ll drive.� Alexis shot back. �Are you sure?� Alexis smiled at her son. �He looks like he�s where he wants to be.� �What he wants is his mommy.� Alexis looked up at Ned and then walked over to the drivers side of the car. �And I�ll be there when he wakes up.� ~*~ About an hour later Ned and Alexis pull up in their driveway and silently walk into the house. Ned who is still holding Tommy walks up the stairs with him. Alexis just stands at the bottom of the steps and watches them. �Come on my sleepy little boy were home and it�s time to shut those eyes of yours once more and get some more sleep.� Ned stated as Tommy opened his eyes. �Where�s mommy?� Tommy quietly asked as Ned covered him with his blanket. Ned placed his hand on his son�s face and held it there. �Mommy is very tired and she needs her sleep. But I promise you when you wake up tomorrow she�ll be here.� �I want my mommy now.� Tommy cried as Alexis stood outside his door crying as well. Ned didn�t know what to say as he picked up his son and held him tight. For some strange reason Alexis seemed to be distancing herself from him and the last thing he wanted was for Tommy to sense or feel it. Alexis just stood outside the door her heart was breaking but her legs were unable to move. She closed her eyes and slowly slid her back down the wall as Ned began singing to their son! Sleep baby sleep while the world passes by I�ll be the keeper of your dreams tonight I�ll be your eyes until you can see Ned begins rocking his son as he slowly stops crying and closes his eyes. I�ll be your voice until you can speak In this land of strangers I�ll be the one to love and protect you guide and respect you Alexis� tears start flowing faster as she somehow manages to get up on her feet and look into the room. In my arm you will be in my arms you will be forever home sleep baby sleep in an ocean of love no way of knowing what your thinking of Kristin climbs into bed and pulls the covers over her. She looks over to the door and sees Helena standing there ready to turn off the light. close to the heart that�s where you belong you�re part of my sprit (ummmmm) part of my song Ned lays Tommy back on his pillow and notices Alexis standing there. He smiles up at her as he continues to sing. first last and always I�ll be the one to love and protect guide and respect you Ned kisses his son goodnight and makes his way over to Alexis. He places his hands around her waist and begins singer directly into her eyes. in my arms you will be in my arms you will be in my arms you will be in my arms you will be forever home. Kristin jumps out of bed and runs over to give Helena a kiss goodnight. Helena is clearer shocked as she places her hand over her cheek and Kristin jumps back into bed. have you come to show me what loves all about to lift up my faith higher then doubt Alexis places her hands around Ned�s neck and brings her body closer to his as they begin swaying to the sound of his voice. in my arms you will be in my arms you will be in my arms you will be in my arms you will be Forever home Forever home Forever home Ned shuts off the light and picks Alexis up carrying her into the other room. Forever Home-----A Father�s Lullaby Ned Ashton----(Wally Kurth) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- CHAPTER 39 It�s around three am when Ned rolls over and realizes Alexis isn�t in bed. He puts on his robe and quietly makes his way down the stairs. He isn�t surprised at all to find her once again sitting on the couch staring off into space. He slowly sits down on the stairs and closes his eyes, he�s desperately trying to figure out a way to reach her without pushing her further away. Alexis gets up and walks over to the window, she�s completely unaware of Ned� presence. She lends her body against the windowsill and her head against the cold glass. She breathes heavily causing the glass to fog up. She takes her finger and prints Kristin� name among the fog as she drifts off to a more pleasant moment. **** FLASHBACK**** �Come on honey lets show mommy how it�s done.� Ned yells as he pulls a scared Kristin onto the ice. �Ned don�t you think a three year old is a little to young to teach how to ice skate.� Alexis pleads with him. �Besides I�m cold and I want to go home.� Ned looked up at her but never let go of Kristin� hand. �You keep complaining over there and I�ll drag you out on this ice.� �I think not!� she quickly yelled back. �Look mommy I can do it.� Kristin yelled as Ned let go of her hands one by one. �Ned be careful.....don�t let her fall.� A nervous Alexis yelled. Kristin almost lost her balance and fell backwards but Ned caught her just in time. �You are so lucky Ned Ashton that you caught her.� �Maybe if I let her fall it would give you a good excuse to stop being chicken and get your butt out here.� �Come on mommy it�s fun.� �No thanks sweetie I�ll take your word for it.� �One of these days Alexis Ashton I am going to get you out on this ice even if I have to carry you over my shoulder.� �Good luck.� Alexis yelled. Ned gave her a you better be careful what you say look. Alexis just shook her head and suddenly busted out laughing as Kristin lost her balance and fell forward grabbing a hold of Ned�s leg on the way down causing him to land square on his backside. Is the ice cold my darling husband?� Alexis asked through utter laughter. Ned quickly picked up Kristin and brought her off the ice. Alexis stopped laughing as he put Kristin down and started running after her. �Ned Ashton you wouldn�t dare.� Alexis yelled as she took off running. �You should know me better then that.� He yelled back as he caught up with her and placed his hands around her waist causing her to drop to her knees. �Are you alright.� He asked with a panicked look. �Ned, please tell me you aren�t going to be the same way with this pregnancy as you were with the last one. I honestly don�t think I could live through that again.� �I�m sorry I�ll try not to panic so much.� �Thank you.� She said as she pulled him into a kiss. As Ned and Alexis sat there in the snow kissing Kristin came running up from behind and jumped on Ned�s back. Ned broke the kiss and grabbed Kristin throwing her down into the snow and started tickling the life out of her. �Oh do you want some attention little girl.� �Mommy, mommy help me.� Kristin keep yelling over and over again. Alexis grabbed the most ticklish part of Ned� body and began tickling him. �Don�t worry mommy will save you.� Ned refused to give into to his weakness and instead grabbed Alexis and threw her over his body and down into the snow next to Kristin. He then proceeded to tickle both of them and yelled. �Is this not being panicked enough for ya my love.� Alexis and Kristin were both laughing so hard that neither one of them could speak. ****END FLASHBACK **** Ned got up off the stairs and walked into the kitchen. Alexis made her way back over to the couch and sat down placing one of Kristin� favorite blankets over her legs. A few moment�s later Ned came back into the living room with a glass of warm milk. He began making his way over to her as Tommy came flying down the stairs. �Mommy mommy you�re home.� He yelled as he flung his body on to her lap. Alexis closed her eyes as her little boy held her tight. The tears in her eyes were to heavy and she couldn�t hold them in any more as she tried unsuccessfully to hug him back. Ned seeing the pain in Alexis� face quickly put down the milk and ran over to them taking the child from her. �Hey there little guy.� Ned said as he sat down on the couch and put Tommy on his lap. �What are you doing out of bed?� Alexis got off the couch and ran up the stairs. �Why�s mommy crying?� �She misses Kristin.� �When�s Krissy coming home?� Ned picked up his son and carried him back up the stairs. �I don�t know kiddo.....soon I hope� �I miss Krissy too.� �I know you do.� Ned replied as he tucked his son back into bed. �Why don�t you close your eyes and think about her.� �Okay daddy.� Tommy said as he closed his eyes as tight as he could. �I love you.� �I love you too kiddo.� Ned said before turning off the light. Ned took a deep breath before he walked into his bedroom. Alexis was lying on the bed with her face stuffed into the pillow to muffle the sound of her voice. Ned closed the door behind him and locked it before walking over to her. He gently placed his hand on her back and began rubbing it. A few minutes later Alexis looked up a him. �I can�t do this anymore Ned I feel like I�m losing my mind.� Ned brought her face to his chest and rocked his body. �Sweetie please tell me how you feel.......I can�t help you if you don�t let me.....you hardly ever talk about the baby...... you refuse to help me look for Kristin......you sit with me but treat me as thought I�m not even there......and now you can�t even hold our son without losing it.� �Ned I want my baby back....I........I want my ....little girl back......I want my life back.� Ned took a hold of Alexis� face and brought it up. �We will find Kristin I promise you that......with all that I am and all that I know.....I will bring her home.� �Maybe you can and maybe you can�t bring Kristin home, but you can�t bring my baby back.� �No honey I can�t. I can tell you we could always try again but I can never bring the baby that we lost back.� �Why Ned why......why did we have to loss the baby........why did something so pointless happen to us ...... we were just learning how to once again trust each other and become a family.� �I can�t answer that darling.......because I don�t know why.� Alexis wiped the tears from her face and laid her head down onto her pillow. �I don�t want to try again Ned. I don�t want to ever feel the way I feel right now ever again.� Ned crawled over her and laid his body against hers. �Then we don�t ever have to.� He whispered in her ear as he ran his fingers through her hair. ~*~ ~ General Hospital ~ 9 AM ~ �Where is my son I need to see my son.� Tracy yelled at a nurse. �I�ve called his home several times like you�ve asked me to Ms. Quatermaine but he hasn�t returned any of my calls.� �Then get me a phone so I can call him, damn it.� �I�m sorry but Dr. Quatermaine left strict instruction that you were not allowed to have a phone in your room.� �I don�t care what that woman said, get me a phone now.� �Tracy you need to learn how to keep your mouth shut, I can hear you all the way down the hall.� �Monica you tell this stupid nurse of yours to bring me a phone now!� Tracy demanded. Monica looked at the nurse. �You can go I�ll take care of my sister in-law.� �Thank you Dr. Quatermaine, you don�t know how grateful I am.� �Oh trust me I do.� Monica said as the young nurse left the room. �Where the hell is Ned?� �Tracy I can�t imagine why but for some reason your son doesn�t want to see you.� �Maybe it has something to do with the way she treats his wife.� Ned said as he walked into the room. �Among other things!� �Ned darling I knew you�d come.� �How is Alexis, Ned?� Monica asked. �We actually talked a little last night and I think she may be coming around.� �I hope so.� Monica replied. �Is there any word on Kristin?� �No, they�ve gotten a few leads but none of them amounted to anything.� �I sorry Ned.� Monica said before she turned to leave. �I�ll keep thinking good thoughts.� �Thank you Monica.� He replied before looking back at his mother. �So are you honestly trying to tell me because you thought I was dead you felt the need to try and kill yourself.� �I wasn�t trying to kill myself Ned.� Tracy stated. �I was upset and I started drinking.......I took a few pain pills to help me sleep and the next thing you know I woke up in this awful place.� �Whatever.� Ned replied as he sat in the chair besides her bed. �Why don�t you just tell me what it is you want?� �Ned I thought you were dead.� �I almost did dies along with my wife and our unborn child......which if nobody told you didn�t survive.� �Ned I am truly.......� �Save it mother!� Ned yelled as his cell phone rang. �Yea� �Ned you need to get home right away.� V answered. �What�s wrong?� �Alexis is upstairs getting ready to go back to work.� �What?� Ned yelled �Keep her there as long as possible, I�m on my way.� �Ned what�s wrong?� Tracy asked as he hung up the phone. �Don�t worry mother it only concerns my wife, nothing you�d interested in.� He angrily stated as he left the room. ~*~ ~ 45 minutes later ~ �Alexis don�t you think you should wait for Ned to come home before you take off?� �V I have clients who need me. � Alexis replied as she opened the door to leave. �Tell Ned I�ll call him later.� �And just where do you think you are going.� Edward said causing Alexis to jump. Alexis rolled her eyes at him �Ned�s not here Edward so why don�t you just leave.� Edward noticed the briefcase in her hand. �Don�t you think it�s a little too soon for you to go back to work?� �No I don�t.� She shot back and prepared to leave. �You are not going anywhere young lady.� Edward bellowed as he grabbed a hold of Alexis� arm and pulled her over to the couch forcing her to sit down. �Edward the last thing I need from you right now is a lecture of how bad a mother I am.� Edward looked over at V. �Would you mind giving me sometime alone with my granddaughter in-law?� �No problem Mr. Quatermaine.� V replied as she looked at Alexis. �If you need anything call me.� Alexis nodded her head at V and got off the couch. �Edward why don�t you leave with her?� �You know one of the worst feelings in the world is feeling helpless when one of your children or grandchildren are in trouble.� Alexis threw her hands up in the air. �Like I said Edward I don�t need a lecture about being a bad mother or how this is all my fault.� Edward just ignored her and continued to speak. �And one of hardest things to know is what runs through a child�s mind.� �Edward why are you here?� Edward looked over at her and then had a seat. �If there is one thing I hate it�s not being in control. I can run a small company into the ground in less then one hour. I can make several phone calls and have anything I want achieved. I own half of this town and yet I�ve let both you and my grandson down.� Alexis sat down next to him. �As much as I hate to admit it I do think you are the best thing that has ever happened to Ned. I can see just by looking in his eyes how Kristin� disappearance has turned him inside out.� He put his hand on her shoulder. �But mostly I�ve watched him tear himself apart because he can�t get through to you.� Alexis was about to say something but Edward cut her off. �Alexis my grandson loves you and he�s doing everything in his power to bring Kristin home, where she belongs.� �I know he is.� �You need to take care of yourself and take care of each other.� �And just when I thought you hated me more then ever!� �I don�t hate you Alexis........in fact sometimes I think you�re more of a Quatermaine then most of us. You never back down from a fight and you never run away from a challenge.� �I don�t know about that.� She replied as she got off the couch and walked over to the window. �Lately I�ve felt like doing nothing more then crawling under a rock and never coming out.� �I�ve felt that way once or twice.� She looked over at him. �What did you do about it?� �I look at myself in the mirror and ask myself if what I want or need is worth fighting for.� �That�s all?� �Usually that�s all it takes.� Edward gets up and walks over to her. �Alexis we are going to find Kristin.� Alexis started to cry. �There is something inside me Edward that just keeps telling me we won�t.� �I refuse to believe that and I know damn well Ned doesn�t believe that either!� �He would if he knew the one thing I never told him.� �And just what would that be?� Alexis jumped at the sound of his voice. �Ned!� He walks closer to her. �Has Helena or someone contacted you about Kristin?� �No I haven�t heard a thing.� �Then what are you keeping from me?� Alexis didn�t say a word as she looked over at Edward and then turned to look out the window. �Grandfather what are you doing here?� �I just came by to find out if there was any word on Kristin.� Ned looked over at Alexis and tried desperately to read her mind. He walked over and placed his hand on her back and began rubbing it. Alexis flinched at his touch before running up the stairs. �If you�ve said anything to upset her old man....� �I was trying to make her feel better. You coming home is what upset her!� Edward yelled before he left. Ned sighed and ran up the stairs. He walked into his bedroom and sat down on the bed next to Alexis. �You still haven�t told me what it is you�ve been keeping from me.� �The problem is I don�t know how to.� �With as much honesty as you can.� She bite her bottom lip. �It�s been so long that I don�t even know where to start.� He walked over to her and lightly kissed her on the cheek. �There�s nothing you can tell me that is going to make me stop loving you.� Alexis looked Ned straight in the eyes and calmly yet nervously said. �This baby of ours that I lost........� She paused. �Please don�t tell me it was Jax�?� He stated as he looked away. �No the baby was ours.� He looked back up at her. �It�s just that it�s not.......� �Not what Alexis.� She got up off the bed and walked over to her dresser. She pulled out a small jewelry box and handed it to him. He careful opened the box and pulled out a gold chain with a hearted charm on it. �I don�t understand.� �Read the back of the charm.� He turned it over and stated out loud, before looking back up at her. �Victoria---7/15/90---- 5 lbs 3 ounces.� Alexis sat next to him. �She was so tiny and about two months premature.� Ned didn�t say a word when she stopped talking. Alexis closed her eyes and walked back over to her dresser and pulled out a sealed envelope. Which she held it close to her heart. Ned who wasn�t sure just where this conversation was headed and wasn�t sure if he really wanted to know, got up and walked over to her. He opened her hand and placed the jewelry box inside it. �I�m sorry.� She mouthed. Ned shook his head and turned to walk away from her. She gasped for a breathe of air causing him to stop short. He shook his head again before he turned back around and walked over to her taking both her hands in his own. �Was she yours?� Alexis took another deep breathe in and tried unsuccessfully to pull her hands from his. �Was she yours?� He asked again in a more demanding voice then before. �Yes.� Was all she said as he let her hands drop to her side. �Why didn�t you ever tell me you had a daughter?� �I don�t know......there were so many times I wanted to tell you.....but I just couldn�t.� �Why not?� �Things between us at first were on a need to know basis and then when we finally got close Stefan tried his hardest to destroy it.� �But we got past all that.� He shot back as he took her hand and lead her back over to the bed. �Why didn�t you tell me then?� �Because I was scared.� �Scared of what?� �Scared that if I told you I�d lose you forever.� She placed her hand on his cheek. �Even back then I knew I needed you in my life and I wasn�t prepared to throw it all away.� �Did you think I�d walk out on you if I knew you had a child?� �I didn�t know what to think and I wasn�t about to take that chance.� �So instead you opted to lie to me for all these years?� He asked extremely hurt. �I didn�t do it to hurt you.� He looked up at her. �So where is she now?� �She died shortly after she was born.� �Sweetheart I�m sorry, how did it happen?� �One night on my way home I got into a terrible car accident. I was knocked unconscious and was completely out of it for two days.� He moved her body closer to hers. �When I woke up Stefan informed me that Victoria didn�t survive the accident.� Ned placed his arms around her and pulled her as close to him as humanly possible. �To this day I still think Helena was behind the events that lead to the accident and my baby�s death.� Ned pushed her back and grabbed her face in his hands. �You listen to me Helena doesn�t have Kristin and we are going to get her back!� �Then why is it that ever since Kristin disappeared I have had that same feeling I had when I woke up in that damn hospital to see my brothers sadden eyes staring down at me?� She yelled in near hysterics. �Baby I wish you would have told me about this....I really do.� �You have no idea how many times I tried, but I just couldn�t.� Ned got off the bed and pulled Alexis� shoes from her feet. Slowly he unbuttoned her blouse and removed it from her body along with her bra. Then he pulled her skirt from her waist and pulled back the sheets. He motioned for her to lye down and she held out her hand. �I�ll make you a deal.� He said as he took it. �If you promise me that you�ll close your eyes and try and get some sleep, I�ll stay with you.� �Deal.� She shot back as she crawled under the sheets. Ned removed some of his clothing as well before joining her. Carefully he slid his body under the sheets only to have her snuggle up closely and place her head on his chest. �I just need you to hold me and keep reminding me that everything will be alright.� Ned kissed her on top of the head and ran his fingers through her hair. �I promise you my darling Alexis, we will find our little girl and everything will be alright.� �There�s just something about the way you say it that makes me almost believe it.� She stated as she closed her eyes and drifted off. �I have no intention of ever giving up.� He added as he yawned and followed her suit.

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