6
During the whole rest of the week, I was tired, depressed, and a little heartbroken. I hardly ever had enough time to even think about Justin anymore. I figured he was happy with Ryan now. I knew it was too good to be true. Who'd fall for a girl like me? Ryan was prettier than me, I admitted to myself. I'd never match up to her looks. Justin deserved her.
But I still felt miserable. I missed him. Ever since that arguement we had, he hasn't talked to me. It made me wonder if he really did care about me.
I put Justin out of my mind and tried to focus on singing. I had a song in mind I wanted to sing. I wanted to spread a message to my growing number of fans, to the hosts of the show, Ryan and Brian, to the judges, Simon. Paula, and Randy. The contestants were going to listen, too. Even Justin. I wanted everybody to hear the song.
It was time to hit the stage. After Christina had finished performing, I was on.
Before the music played, I spoke into the microphone."I'd like to dedicate this song to anyone who's ever felt like they haven't had anyone prove it to them yet that they love them and care about them." Then the music played and I began to sing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ooh, yeah. Yoo hoo
I don't want to rain on this parade
But I'm starting to question the love that was made
I'm not looking for just a affair
I want a love that is based on truth not just dare
*************************************
You will not hurt my pride
If right now you decide
That you are not ready to settle down
But if you want you my heart
Then it's time that you start
To act like you're mine in the light and the dark
*************************************
If you love me, say it
If you trust me, do it
If you want me, show it
If you need me, prove it
******************
You see actions speak louder than words
So don't just say things that I've already heard of
Don't want your body without your soul
I don't want a love who will come here and go
************************************
You will not hurt my pride
If right now you decide
That you are not ready to settle down
But if you want you my heart
Then it's time that you start
To act like you're mine in the light and the dark
*************************************
If you love me, say it
If you trust me, do it
If you want me, show it
If you need me, prove it
******************
Oh I, Oh I, wanna touch you baby
And spread my love all around you, honey
And if you come, you gotta show, baby
True love to share...
***************
Show it
Prove it
Say it
Do it
****
Oh, yeah. Oh yeah. Ooh yeah, my sweet baby...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I finished the song. The audience roared with pure adoration. I took a bow and blew them kisses. Who cared about boys when I had the support from my fans.
After I went backstage to change, I passed Justin. We just nodded as we passed by. Even though I meant to be indifferent and cold, it still broke my heart to have him ignore me like that.
A tear fell down my cheek. But I ignored it. If Justin wanted to be like that, then fine! I didn't need him anymore. The love from all the fans was what I had and that was all I needed.
An hour later, A.J had vanished from the show. Then we went back to the mansion. All I wanted to do was soak in a Jacuzzi and forget all my problems. But the fact that Ryan's nosy cousin was lurking around really bothered me. He seemed like some kind of busybody and I didn't want him looking at me or trying to. And I didn't like that little girl, either. She just didn't smile at anyone or laugh. The only things she likes were Crunch Bars, playing with Nikki's son, Tristen's toys, eating oatmeal, watching TV all day long, and she had taken a liking for Justin's hair. She loved to play with it and try to comb it. (Tamrya loves his hair, too. She tries to braid it whenever she can.) Jody Lynn only liked Ryan, Tristen, Nikki, Colin, and Justin.
Just thinking about Justin made me feel bad. I felt more than just bad, I felt miserable I wanted to talk to Justin face-to-face, but I wasn't sure how to do it. And somehow, Ryan was always in the middle. Ever since I blew up at Justin, Ryan took it as a way to suddenly snag him. It was going to be hard to talk to him with her always there.
As I lay in the Jacuzzi, I thought about what we fought about. Why was I so mad? Was I even listening to what Justin had said? Was he really telling the truth? The more I thought about it, the more it made me wonder: Was Ryan behind something? Did she want me to break up with Justin, just so she could get to him? I played with my hair and sighed. Whatever I thought, it didn't matter anymore. Ryan got her way and Justin was in her arms now. So what could I do about it?
I didn't want it to end like this. There had to be a way to win Justin back. There just had to and I didn't care what it took. But I was going to get him back.
Okay, sorry the chapter so short! But trust me, the story will get better!
The lyrics for the song I just wrote is an old song called 'If You Love Me' by Brownstone. Do you remember it? If you do, let me know!
Anyway, I will be posting more up so keep checking!