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| The day showed signs of greatness launched in the magic of the Rabbit Lady. Our plans would change though, from the afternoon horseback ride I was to take while the children played in the woods. My work day was hectic. I picked up my son a bit early from school, and we shared the errand running gig together. We made it home before the girls, and before I could change into my riding clothes, my son asked if he could look at the bunny. Still believing in the Rabbit Lady's magic I said sure! "Mom, I think the rabbit is dead. He's just lying there stretched out." Slowly the seeping balloon refused to totally deflate and I responded, "It can't be." But the, what is right and what is real . . .Maybe magic lasts longer than it takes to get hungry, but far less time than it takes to believe. I pondered, is the challenge then, to believe even when you're confronted with evidence that you shouldn't? Where does magic come from anyway? How long does it last, and where does it go when it's over? Maybe it flickers in and out of one's life and if you acknowledge it, even for a brief moment, it's all you get for now, but you are left more receptive to the next visit, when it comes again. I remember feeling an excited vitality mingled with wonder and awe thinking about that next time. I didn't want my excitement to leave me even though it was wrapped up in a hint of fear, brushed on at the outermost edge of the feeling, the fear that it couldn't last, wouldn't last, and in fact, it didn't last. I recalled the Rabbit Lady's story about the 100 rabbits in cages in her fenced back yard and that one day some dogs broke in while she slept. She never heard the sounds of carnage. The dogs killed about 25, the others died of fright, horror, and grief or some other emotion. What was difficult for me to reconcile in my anger, and outrage at what had happened, was her acceptance. And when I asked her what she did, she smiled with bright blazing eyes and said, "I had enough beautiful rabbits left to start over." And maybe enough magic. Once more, mulling this over in my mind I noticed something. Standing at my kitchen sink, getting a glass of water before bed, I saw from the corner of my eye the five fish we caught and made pets out of.We were all excited; everyone wanted to feed them, and we were in awe of their being. But as they became a part of our everyday lives, how easy it was to lose our joy in their being and to become casual in our efforts on their behalf, less constant, less loving, less willing to make an effort or a sacrifice. Oh, the marvelous magic that lights up our hearts for a moment, and darkens it when it goes, unless of course, we choose to remember and believe. |
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