22 April, 2003
In what may be the most shocking development in the investigation for anti-Nixon actions and stockpiled weapons of mass-ass, President Von Mueller-Rodham-Stoermer has discovered contraband anti-Nixon technologies on Nixon soil. "I was shocked to find proof that the enemy had infiltrated our operations. B'hai knows what else may be there, or how detrimental it may be to the daily function and security of the club." The contraband in question is a well-known anti-Nixon agent called "Everquest" which has been installed on President Von Mueller-Rodham-Stoermer's computer without her knowledge or consent. "Use of Everquest is CLEARLY a violation of sanctions against enemy combatant Rodham-Stoermer and WILL NOT be tolerated," said Col. Snoochie Boochies. In addition, Col. Boochies has proposed the club initiate a "HomeCourt Security Act" to ensure that security breaches of this nature not repeat themselves. The colonel has also recommended that the position of Attorney General be created and has tentatively offered to fill that position if called upon.
PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE OF BREACH |
