To be desired sexually and emotionally- I was surprised that this was such a biggie. It was difficult for Randy to admit because it made him vulnerable. For me to learn this about him, he had to humble himself and acknowledge that part of him was "in need." It made me sad to realize he had to do that- that I'd been so consumed by my needs that I was oblivious to this one of his.
To be needed. (And wanted.)
To be considered the "most" important person in his wife's universe.
To be cheered on in his interests.
To be understood as "not perfect" but as a human being who bruises, who has fears and tears and weaknesses.
To be allowed mistakes. (Too often, we women are short on mercy.)
A wife- not a mother. (I must constantly remind myself of this, so I don't emasculte him with my mothering.)
A partner who is proud to bear his children.
A woman who is strong and confident enough in herself that she is not too threatened to allow him to lead.