enjoy there short jokes...nitya

when do u know that an afghan boy matures?
when he takes off his diaper and puts it on his head.

a prostitute goes to deposit a 100 dollor bill in a bank.
the teller says "sorry madam,the note is fake"
"oh my god ! " exclaimed the prostitute, "i have been raped."

u cant judge her by her clothes--she doesn't have enough evidence.

dear subscriber,due to a fault in magnetic field and signals of our service your handset
will vibrate for an hour .so keep it in ur ass and enjoy customer care.

what is the difference between walking on the edge of mount everest and a
blow job from an 80-year old lady?
in both cases u dont dare look down.

a woman gave birth to six babies and on seeing this she got out of hospital
bed and slapped her husband and shouted,
"i told u not to go doggy style ."

a cardiologist marries a gynaecologist and god blesses them with twin gals.
guess what they name them...engina and vagina

u r attractive
u r brave
u r cute
u r daring
u r funny
u r so great
hi ! iam just kidding

two sperms r swimming really hard and one asks " r we almost at the uterus?"
"nah" says the other " we just passed the tonsil"

man went to the chemist to buy one fourth viagra.chemist said that it would b useless.
man replied "i am 80 sex is out of question,i just want to stop peeing on my shoes."

how would u describe a boy and a gal in cricket language ?
boy-a short leg between two fine legs.
gal-a deep gully between two long legs.

gal enters a sex shop and asks the clerk,
"where is ur vibrator section ?"
clerk : "over there madam "
gal : "whats that big red one ?"
clerk : "sorry madam its fire extinguisher ."

a gang desided to rob the bank.they opened every vault but found no money
only a cup of yogurt.so they ate it all.
morning head lines " big sperm bank robbed ."

a japanese gal accidentally lets out a big fart after making love.
she said "aww, iam sorry... excuse me. front hole so happy and back
hole laugh out loud."

the problem is that the god gave men a brain and penis and only enough blood to run at a time.

whats the best position to make love ?
69 because while madam is smoking,mister is washing the dishes .

y is sex with ur wife like a conveniental store?
there is not much of a variety but what else is open at three in the morning.

sinner : forgive me father for i have sinned. iam a maniac and fantasise about sex.
i watch porno and i love to see others do it.
"is that u , harry ?"

man was lying on the beach. a sexy babe starts playing tabla on his butts.
man : " what r u doing ?"
babe : "playing tabla."
man turns over and says " can u play flute ?"

they call it as PMS because mad cow disease was already taken.

whats the defination if a gynaecologist ?
the only fool who looks for problems where others try to find pleasure

what is the difference between a swimming pool and a wife ?
for both we pay high maintainance for the little time we spend in them.

love is a complicated machinery.but sometimes all u need is a good screw to fix it.

sex is a card game. if u dont have a good partner, u better have a good hand.

if u had sex 365 times in 12 months and u melted the condoms down to make a tyre
what would u call it?
"a fucking good year ."

latest porn releases
"shaving a private ryan"
"position impossible"
"as big as it gets"
"forest hump"
"riding miss daisy"
"star whores"
"cliff banger and porncchio"

why is a blow job a win/lose situation ?
u may have her on her knees butshe has u by the balls.

its about time i tell u what people r saying behind ur back?
" nice ass."

man on his business trip. every week he wired his wife "still buying."
at the end of six weeks she wired her husband
"come home before i selling what i think u r buying ."

clintonn nixon,carter on ship which is about to sink.
carter: "woman,children first."
nixon : "fuck them ."
clinton: "do we have the time ?"

sant singh and banta singh were feeling happy --
then banta singh got up and left.

ur secretary said publicly that u have a small penis, "would u comment on this ?"
"the truth is she has a big mouth."

y do only 10% of woman go to heaven ?
bcoz if they all went it would b hell.

sardar goes to a doc. and says "i have rash on my penis."
doc :"does it burn?"
sardar :"i dont know,i never tried to to light it ."

young guy with green,red and blue hair find an old man starring at him.
"whats the matter oldie ,never done anything wild ?" asked that boy,
"yeah" replies oldie,"made it out with a peacock once.wonder if u r my son."

husband : "u never tell me how much u enjoy sex ?"
wife : "well u never at home at that time ."

men's sexual states--
20's : thrice weakly
30's : twice weakly
40's : tries weakly
50's : tries and tries
60's : tries and cries
70's : tries and dies.

what is a kiss ?
its an upper preparation for a lower invasion that will lead to further and fast acceleration
that will build the next generation.

mental anxiety,mental break down, menstrual cramps,menopause.
did u ever notice how all women problems begin with men.

whats the difference between biology and sociology ?
when the baby looks like his dad r mom ,then its biology.
when the baby looks like the neighbour ,then its sociology.

y does the penis hate himself ?
he has a bald head with no brains, one blind eye lives among nuts , an asshole is his neighbour
and he is in love with pussy.

what is virginity ?
its not not dignity. its lack of oppurtunity.

what is the useless flesh attached to the penis called?
" the man."

y did god created orgasm ?
so that the man should know when to stop.

whoever first said that "dog is the best friend " had never seen a pussy before .

often we lose sight of life's simple pleasures.so when someone annoys u it takes 42 muscles
but only 4 seconds to extend ur arm and slap the bastard.

a bmw car asked a volks wagan beetle "y r ur eyes popping out of ur body ?"
"let them put a motor in ur ass and see what happens to ur eyes"

most woman prefer sex with the lights out. : they cant bear to see a man enjoying himself.
men like sex with the lights on ,so they can get the woman's names right.

men's top lies
"iam single"
"we'll talk in the bed room"
"u wont get pregnant"
"buttons only ,not bra"
"wont insert in"
"will touch only with finger "
"i love u "

when a man talks dirty to a gal its sexual harassment .
when a woman talks dirty to a man its three dollars a minute.

y is honeymoon six day long ?
bcoz seven days make the whole week.

define impotance.
its nature's way of saying " no hard feelings ."

a man was looking at a painting for a long time of a naked woman,
with leaves covering her body .when asked what he was doing,
he answered "waiting for autumn."

y is breast milk is good for health ?
it is great for blood circulation ,provides heat,is refreshing and comes in attractive containers.

y didn't gandhi make love to virgins ?
he didn't believe in blood shed.

Q:-is rape possible while running ?
A:-no,a gal with skirt up can run even faster than a guy with his pants down.