| One day Simon woke up and went down for his breakfast. His mum (the former monkey) had cooked his fave - toast on beans. Simon ate it all then met his friend at the skate park. He told his friend he was due to get married next weekend to the 3 BBS girls, Kayleigh, Naz and Maja. He was very excited. He had lots of dreams about them and couldn't wait for the wedding night. They could watch Pokemon the movie. He skated to the video shop and rented about 20 U films for them to watch. Monkey mummy said he couldn�t watch PG's as they were too scary. Naz, kayleigh and Maja sat at home trying on their dresses. They all looked great. Simon's slipknot hoodie and dirty jeans�.did not. So Simon had to go to the tailors and rent a suit... he found a lovely one which he traded in with his rarest pokemon card. He cried as he handed over the card then quickly got excited again when he realised there was going to be jelly and ice cream at the wedding reception! He went to speak to the DJ after that. The DJ asked which slow song Simon would like... 'Ummm'... he thought... 'wait and bleed!!! fuck you!!! feel my pain, man!!!!' The DJ stared at him for abit then gave him the number for that DJ bloke in Linkin Park, Simon went round his house for some coffee. He agreed to play slipknot at the wedding, then asked Simon what song the girls would like to play. He said... 'I donnnnt no. thay wud like slipknot 2'. Simon lent Linkin blokie his 2 slipknot albums and skated off to see his best man. His best man was his 'father', Darren. He was upset that his boy was getting wed... he was also very jealous. Darren's job was to also bake the cake and serve drinks.. 'hot cum all around' he said.. Simon didn�t know what that meant but it sounded �wikkid�. He couldn't wait to try 'sum'.... Simon knew this would be the best day of his life! *Wedding Day* the girls prepared in their hotel room, made sure they looked their best for their big day! the limo arrived and it was Higgins driving it, they quickly sped off to the churchy place. But as we all know... Higgins can't read. So they ended up at a funeral parlour. 'Wikkid', Simon thought. But then Higgins' shoes came off his feet and kicked his ass so they all ended up getting ready at the parlour. The vicar was just about to bless them when Kay, Naz and Maja's former man sluts came in the door begging them not to marry that dumb little prick... Darren heard all the commotion and started serving his 'hot cum' to everyone. Surprisingly enough, nobody wanted any... So Darren skulked off into the corner and drank it alone - he had plenty. Mark from Blink182 begged Naz not to marry Simon. It didn't take too much convincing. The girls then phoned Sunny and asked if she would distract Simon and Darren for them. She came and started seducing Darren and Simon as the girls and their man sluts disappeared out the back door. Everybody was happy. Except Sunny. But she was clever enough to figure out how to get rid of them on her own... Darren had drank so much hot cum he passed out in the funeral parlour. Some forensic expert announced him dead and locked him in the freezer. Simon was wearing his skates, the floor was so shiny and slippery he fell over and shattered all the bones in his body... he lay on the floor trying to move. The cleaner came round. He threw Simon in the bin. Darren froze up and went into a deep sleep... the girls decided not to attend his funeral, it would be embarrassing being the only people there. They went on a skiing holiday to Canada with their man sluts... But then they saw him... DARREN THE ICE MONSTER TYPE THING!! And BONELESS SIMON! His shattered body was buried with Darren and they had emerged as a freaky ugly hybrid! The Darren monster chased them down the mountains! But since it was just a blob creature, it was a bit slow, so they all took a few holiday snaps in the meantime as it blobbed down the hill... the flash startled the monster and it melted! Everybody was REALLY upset, as you can imagine. The put up police tape around the area so nobody could get infected... coz simon was boneless he turned into that thing from the terminator, Darren just stayed ugly. Some hot mounties captured Simon and Darren and put them in a museum. But Simon continued to morph into anything he wanted - so he changed himself to look like the big nose bloke from slipknot and joined the band on stage... all the fans got confused. They guessed which one was the imposter and kicked Simon to death.. Darren woke up in the museum and broke out! His cum wasn�t very hot so he had to warm himself up by the radiator. Then he exploded! Little Darren's formed out of all the little pieces. There was about 50 of them! So they formed a new band - a mixture of slipknot and so solid crew. There still wasn�t enough members though. So they recruited Simon and his ugly mate! They still needed a �kewl� name for their band, so they called Linkin park blokie coz he was such a major part of the band. He decided they should be called... SIMNON'S REVENGE (and Darren too!) They all had a great image for their video... they would all be in a skate park! Lots of ugly Darrens skating! And then all these sexy women would come and join them. They couldn't find any women willing though so they dressed Darren up, and used leftovers from the funeral place as backing dancers. Darren looked great in make up. Well, actually, he didn't. Everyone just told him he did coz it was funny. Darren lost track of all the little Darrens so he had to chain them to a nearby tree. They started eating eachother! Soon... they were all gone. Yay! the music vid was also a success, and they got to number 1 in the charts. Hey, if Mr Blobby could, why couldn�t they? They got to appear on top of the pops and soon they were international superstars!! And as with every famous person, there were people out to 'get them'� |
| The Day Simon Got Married... |
| The End!!! |
| Simon is this kid on the Offspring BBS who thought that me, Kayleigh and Maja were in love with him. Yes, he was the sexiest thing in the universe. The story was inspired after Kayleigh drew a picture in paint showing us 3 marrying this stud. Soon after, this story erupted, yay! -Warning- This story contains horror of the 'Darren-Nature'. |