Go for it, Kira! SEED 4Koma Crossover Attack! Compiled By: Nitramy of the GameFAQs Gundam Message Board With help from: Yzak Jule, tangowr, Gundam Mk Dead, and many others :) Androgyny (1) The usual outfits they wear. Cagalli = Girl who looks strangely like a boy. Loran = Boy who looks strangely like a girl. (2) Evening wear. (3) The two look at each other. (4) Cagalli: I wish I was as feminine as you. Loran: I wish I had your sense of style. (Athrun and Dianna in the background) Athrun: Now I don't know who's the girl and who's the guy. Dianna: They can fool almost everyone, don't they? Angst Attack! (1) Sochie: Angst. Kira: Angst. (2) Sochie: Angst! Kira: ANGST! (3) Sochie: AAAAAAAANGST!!!! Kira: (cries) (4) (both Sochie and Kira are in the background) Sochie: Ha! I win again. Kira: I'm down 5-12... this isn't pretty. (Cagalli and Kihel are in the foreground) Cagalli: What are those two doing? Kihel: I don't know, but they've been at it for a few hours now. Phase Shift Archangel (1) Murrue: You what? Flaga: I analyzed the data on the Phase Shift and worked around the power systems. Now the Archangel will have Phase Shift armor... (snicker) (2) (Aegis, Buster, Duel and Blitz are pounding the Archangel with cannon shells and missiles, all to no effect) (3) Rau: What the heck are you idiots doing? Solid weapons don't work on Phase Shift Armor! Nichol: Well, y'see... uh... Athrun: Nichol, you dumbass, you started it, say it. (4) Nichol: ...Stock footage? Rau: (gaping) That's what I get for having pilots at the mercy of their hormones as my unit... sigh. *4 ZAFT pilots giggling like crazy at the sight of the infamous bounce* Masks 1 (From Gundam Mk Dead) (1) Neo: I'm Neo Roanoke. And I'm a really cool guy wearing a mask. Rau: You dumbass! I'm the first guy with a mask in the Cosmic Era! (2) Zechs: Hey, hey, I was first alternate universe mask-wearer. Harry and Schwarz: ... Chronicle and Karozzo: Hey! We heard that! Damn you copycats! (3) *All 5 pilots bickering* Unknown: Sigh... (4) Char: It's hard for them to live up to my image. Nanai: (snuggling up to Char) At least I have the original. He Who Lives By The Blade (1) Lowe: I'm Lowe Gear. I wield the 150m Gerbera... (2) *Lowe gets sliced into four pieces* (3) Tobia: Ware ni... tatenu mono nashi! (Copycat!) *The Red Astraea explodes* (4) Zengar: CHEEEESTOOOOOO!!! (uses Unyou no Tachi on the X-3) (Don't mess with the original!) Note: Tobia is from Crossbone Gundam and Zengar is a Banpresto Original Character. Kira vs. Loran part One (1) Kira: I'm better than you, and you know it. Loran: Prove it, Kira. (2) (shot of Kira in bed with Fllay) Kira: I'm the first guy in a Gundam series to get jiggy with a female lead. (shot of Loran tucking Dianna in) Loran: Well, I'M the first guy in a Gundam series to end up with a queen. (3) *Kapow* *Kablam* (4) (Kira and Loran both have lumps on their foreheads) Fllay: You kiss-and-tell bastard! Dianna: Loran, I'm disappointed with you. Kira and Loran: ... Differentiation (1) Dianna and Kihel wear identical outfits. (2) Both: Do you know who's who, Harry? Harry: Dianna-sama's left, Kihel-san's right. Loran: Wow! (3) Loran: How do you know that, Harry-san? Harry: Well, I have X-ray glasses.... (the two ladies glare at Harry) (4) (Harry is impaled through a wall) (Loran has a giant sweatdrop) (The two ladies are VERY VERY ANGRY.) The Slap (1) Milly slapping Dearka Camille: This is the bitch-slap. (2) Sochie slapping Loran Camille: This is an attack slap. (3) Loran slapping Sochie Camille: Now this is a counterattack slap. (4) Camille gets slapped Bright: That's an INSUBORDINATION SLAP! Get back to work, you slacker! Yogurt vs. Chili 1 (1) Cagalli and Andrew Watfield (Andy) are arguing over Kebob sauce again... Andy: If you won't agree with my adult taste of yogurt sauce, fine! Cagalli: Well, sorry, but Chili sauce does best! (Loran passes by) Andy: Let's ask this guy. Cagalli: Fine by me. (2) Loran samples the Chili sauce... (3) ...and promptly breathes fire in Andy's face. (4) (Loran running away screaming "Water! Water!") Cagalli: I told you, chili sauce is best. Andy: (Toasted face) This is worse than getting caught in a cockpit explosion. The Black Gundam Dies First (1) (Sword Strike about to slice Nichol) Nichol: I've seen this movie. The black Gundam dies first. (2) (Sword about to swing at Nichol) Nichol replaces the Blitz with the Providence with Rau as its pilot. (3) Providence gets sliced in half. (4) SEED's director goes ballistic. Fukuda: What the heck did you do that for? Now you've ruined the story. Nichol: I read the script, you Gundam-racist. The Lolicon Cometh 1 (1) Char: I remember the days when my life wasn't complicated. Flaga: Really? You weren't as busy as you are now? (2) Char: Yeah... but I had this penchant for having girlfriends quite younger than myself. Flaga: Go on... (3) Char: And that's why I'm called a loli. Flaga: You're lucky. I just pinched a girl's butt and they call me a "loli pervert oldie". [ED. "rorikon sukebe oyaji"] (4) (Flaga crying in Char's chest) Flaga: Why do they do this to me? Why? Why? Char: Easy, easy... (this guy has it worse than me...) Hair Ornamentation (1) (Yzak is playing with two metal hair clips behind Loran's back) Yzak: Hey, Loran-kun... what do you think of this? (2) (Yzak reappears with the clips around his hair) Yzak: Dianna Soriel! (3) (Yzak poses for Loran) (Loran sweatdrops) (4) (Loran punches Yzak through the wall.) Loran: Overgrown kid... Inspiration (1) (Loran is doing the washing-machine thing with the Turn A's hand) Kira: I can't believe it. Athrun: No wonder he gets all the girls... (2) (close-up to the Turn A's cockpit) Athrun: Hey! Loran! Where did you get that idea? Loran: I was inspired by something... (3) (big explosion) (4) Cagalli: Athrun, for the last time, STOP USING THE SCYLLA TO ROAST KABOBS!!! Athrun: Oh, come on, the first time was good enough. Cagalli: You were just lucky! (faraway, Loran and Dianna both have massive sweatdrops) Super Beastial Machine God?! (Based off Dancougar. If you don't get the joke, fine.) (1) Flaga: YATTE YARUZE!!! (Skygrasper releases lights onto the BuCUE, LaGOWE, and Gaia Gundam) (2) (Skygrasper becomes the head, BuCUE and LaGOWE are the feet and latch onto the Gaia Gundam) (3) (The Aile pack becomes the booster) (4) Flaga: DANKUUGA! Ikuze! Kira and the others die laughing. My Name Is... (1) Athrun: I wonder what my alias will be in SEED Destiny. (2) Athrun: Umm... Kasshu? Cehack? Uhh... Alonax...? (vein pops out) Ayanami?... er...got it. (3) Shinn: Your name was...? Athrun: Deferens. Vas Deferens. (Char Aznable is about to spam Athrun with Funnels) Char: Copycat... (4) Athrun: (Sees Quattro about to go berserk) er... it's Dino. Alex Dino. Shinn: Ok... (what is this strange guy doing behind my superior?) Char: I'll get you next time... Girl Talk (1) (Dianna and Fllay walk by on Teteth and Murrue giggling) Both: ? (2) (The two listen in) Murrue: ...but you know, it's really hard to find a bra that fits me nowadays. (3) Teteth: You're right. It's such a drag when walking. (4) Dianna and Fllay: YOU MEAN THERE'S A KIND OF BRA THAT WILL ACTUALLY SUPPORT THOSE?! (points) Yell! (1) Ryouma: CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGE GETTA 1! SWITCH ON!!! (2) Kouji: MAZIIIIIIIIIIIIN GO! (3) Shinobu: YAAAAAAATE YARUZE! (4) Yzak: STRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKEEEE!!!! Best Use For Outdated Weaponry (1) Dearka: Hey, Athrun. Guess what I found. Athrun: What's ...that? (2) Yzak: By the looks of it, it's a pneumatic cannon. Nichol: What's the use of that thing? Pneumatic cannons have no effect on... (everyone else sprouts evil grins) (3) (Blitz, Aegis, Buster and Duel start shooting the Archangel with pneumatic cannons) (4) Murrue: Kiiiiiiiraaaaaaa, Fffflllaaaaagggaaaa, whyyyyyy aaaarrreeee yooooouuuurrrr noooooossseeeessss bleeeediiinnnggg? Rau: (hands on forehead) Hormones suck. The Lolicon Cometh 2 (1) (Dark BG.) Someone screams. (2) (Light returns.) Cagalli: Someone pinched my butt again! (3) (Everyone looks at Flaga) Flaga: What? Why me again? (4) (Everyone calling Flaga a loli) Athrun: Kira, that's not nice. Kira: I know, it's just that it's fun. Decisive Battle 1: (Kira and Athrun battling in Aile and Aegis) (1) Kira: Time to pay for what you did to Tolle, you bastard! Athrun: You sliced Nichol in two, dumbass! (2) (About to strike the final blow, but something passes by) (3) (Both zoom in to see... the pictures Kira took of the ladies in the Archangel... in the shower...) (4) (Aile and Aegis battle it out, trying to get the poctures) Kira: IT'S MINE! I TOOK THOSE PICTURES! Athrun: NO WAY, BUDDY! FIRST COME FIRST SERVE! (they don't see that the Lohengrinn cannons are pointed at them.) Summon Strike (1) Murrue: Yzak, can I ask you for a favor? Natarle: Yeah, you're the only one who can do it. (2) Yzak: Sure. Murrue: Could you call Flaga-san here? Frame 3~4: Yzak: STRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEE!!! (all the way to Flaga) Lookalike 1 (1) (Freedom Gundam going after Providence in the Moon) (2) (...going round a corner...) Kira: Got you now, Le Creuset! (3) (...and out comes the Virsago CB and Ashtaron HC...) Shagia: Your time has come, Double X! Olba: Revenge at last, Double X! (4) Kira: (evading the Satellite Cannon) What Double X? This is the ZGMF-X10A Freedom! (Hint: The Freedom Gundam looks amazingly like the Gundam Double X.) Decisive Battle 2 (1) (Kira and Athrun battling in Aile and Aegis) Kira: Time to pay for what you did to Tolle, you bastard! Athrun: You sliced Nichol in two, dumbass! (2) (Kira gets separated, but before he can react...) (A red Zaku appears in front of him, mono-eye blazing) Kira: WTF? (3) (The Zaku kicks the Strike in the gut.) (4) Char: Weird. This wasn't what the Gundam looked like. Kira: Have I gone off to the wrong series?! The Lolicon Cometh 3 (1) (Kira and Flaga are walking together, and encounter Murrue...) (2) (As the two guys walk past her, Kira nudges Flaga...) (3) (...causing Flaga to... grope Murrue.) (4) Flaga: (with two red hand marks on his face) I wonder why you always pick on me. Kira: Ask Cagalli. It was her idea. Decisive Battle 3 (Kira and Athrun battling in Aile and Aegis) (1) Kira: Time to pay for what you did to Tolle, you bastard! Athrun: You sliced Nichol in two, dumbass! (Kira suddenly vanishes from sight.) (2) Kira: Hmph! (Newtype effect, and Strike suddenly appears in front of the Aegis, it's eyes blazing.) (3) (Strike kicks Aegis in the gut) (4) Athrun: Where the hell did you pull that out from? YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KICK ME IN THE HEAD! (reading script) Kira: I was playing Federation vs. Zeon before the alert came,sorry. Fukuda: Damn it, ten takes wasted already. The Power Of Love / Decisive Battle 4 (1) (Fllay and Kira having their last conversation) Fllay: ...and now... I must... Kira: Fllay, don't go! I love you! (2) (Fllay floats over to Kira) Fllay: I never thought... Kira: I know... Rau: What's this? (Fllay and Kira look at Rau with determination) (3) Kira: SEKI! Fllay: HA! Both: LOVE LOVE Hi-MAT ATTACK!!! (blasts several heart-shaped holes into the Providence) (4) (Providence explodes) Rau: Ouch... Fukuda: Damn it, both of you. Explain yourselves. Fllay: It was Kira's idea... Kira: I watched the finale of G Gundam before this take, sorry again... Fukuda: At this rate, I won't finish the series... Intellectual Property (1) Athrun: Look at what I just made. Lacus: It's cute. What's it called? (2) Athrun: I call it... Haro. Haro: Haro genki! Haro genki! (3) *THWACK* (4) Amuro: Damn it, quit stealing my ideas, you jerk. Lacus: Athrun, do you know this man? Why did he hit you in the head? Athrun: Damn... you... Fukuda... Haro was a... bad idea... (with big lump) Switch / Decisive Battle 5 (1) Kira: Time to pay for what you did to Tolle, you bastard! (2) Kira: Wait a minute: Where the heck is Athrun? (3) (Gundam Epyon appears) Kira: (BIG ?) Athrun: Kira, it's me. (4) Kira: Athrun! What happened to Aegis? Athrun: Some dude named Peacecraft ran off with Aegis, so I took his MS. Fukuda: Why does this have to happen at the most inopportune times? Athrun: (He also seemed lost...) Mobile Armor (1) Murrue: I don't like Mobile Armors... they're never safe. Flaga: Don't worry about it. (2) (Shot of the Moebius Zero) Murrue: I wish you didn't have to pilot things like this... Flaga: Don't worry. I got myself a new MA. (3) Flaga: TA-DA!!! (shows off Zakrello) (Murrue sweatdrops) (4) Murrue: FLAGA, YOU IDIOT? DON'T YOU KNOW THAT THING LASTED ONLY TWO MINUTES? Flaga: Eh? I didn't see that in the manual. Vacation (1) Cagalli: Sigh, after all this war we can finally have some time off. Athrun: You bet. Taking this vacation in the Netherlands is the bomb. (2) Cagalli: What's that? (points to windmill) Athrun: That? That's a windmill. Used to manufacture grains, using the wind's... (3) (windmill sprouts arms and legs - it's actually the Nether Gundam!) (Cagalli and Athrun sweatdrop) (4) (Cagalli and Athrun sighing as the Nether Gundam walks away) Cagalli: I wish Ookawara didn't do the mecha design for SEED. Athrun: At least the Turn A's series designs weren't this bombastic. Killing Nichol (1) (Kira about to slice Nichol in two) Nichol: That's not the way! You may kill me but you won't know who you are! (2) Kira: This hand of mine is shining brightly! To call on the power to defeat you! Take this! My love! My anger! And all of my sorrow! (3) Kira: Shining Strike Swoooooord! (4) (film pauses) Fukuda: Lay off the G-Gundam, Kira. Kira: You're mean. Nichol: (dead from laughter) Why Did They Have To Die? (1) Kira: It's a pity the Astraea girls didn't make it. Athrun: Come to think of it, you're right. (2) Kira: I wonder why... Athrun: Yeah, they didn't need to die to advance the story... (3) *THWACK* (4) Tomino: Fukuda, stop ripping my storylines off. Fukuda: Shut up, fartknocker. Athrun: I think I remember now. Kira: Shrike Team, right? *Hint: The Shrike Team was an all-female team who entirely died off during Victory Gundam, a series directed by Yoshiyuki Tomino.* Masks 2 (1) (Athrun trying on masks) Char Aznable's Mask: No. (2) Zechs Merquise's Mask: No. (3) Schwarz Bruder's Mask: Definitely not! (4) Quattro Sunglasses: Ah, perfect. Char: I'll kill you, Athrun Zala, if it's the last thing I do. (Char is behind Athrun armed with a machete) Nichol's Power-up (1) (Blitz attacking with Duel, Aegis and Buster) (2) Nichol's Thoughts: I'm going to use the special attack I installed on my Blitz! (3) (Blitz shoots out its arm?!) Nichol: ROKETTOOOO PAAAAAANCHI!!!! (4) *THWACK* Athrun: This is NOT a Super Robot series, Nichol. Nichol: Sorry. Switch ON! (From Yzak Jule) (1) (Aile Skygrasper, Sword Skygrasper and Launcher Skygrasper flying in formation) Kira: CHAAAAAAAAAAANGE AILE STRIKER! SWITCH ON! (Cagalli and Flaga are in the Launcher and Sword, respectively) (2) (Launcher and Sword combine) (3) (The 2 jets combine with the Aile Skygrasper to form the Striker 1) (4) (it was just a dream sequence) Kira: I hoped this would be a Super Robot series... Cagalli: Yeah, me too. Three Skygraspers combining would have been cool. Flaga: ...we can only dream... Creuzet no Sentai (1) (Aegis, Buster, Duel and Blitz pose weirdly) Athrun! Yzak! Dearka! Nichol! (2) (Providence drops in and also poses weirdly) Creuzet!!! (3) (Even more weird-ass poses) Creuzet no Sentai! CREUZET!!! (4) Archangel Crew: ............ (giant sweatdrop) Kira: Somebody's been watching too much Dragon Ball... Athrun: Creuzet-san... did we do it right? Creuzet: Hold the pose for a few more moments... I think we are scaring them now. (A spoof of the Ginew forces.) A Future Hope (1) Athrun: I wonder if we'll show up in the next Super Robot Wars game, Kira. Kira: Yeah. It'd be cool to be fighting alongside Super Robots and other MS... (2) Athrun: Just imagine the possibilities, Kira... Kira: Uh-huh. I foresee stuff like the Gunbarrel Strike, Custom Astraeas and... (3) (Both Kira and Athrun think of the infamous bounce stock footage) (giant sweatdrop) (4) (both guys have cotton stuffed up their noses) Athrun: I've lost too much blood through my nose because of this. Kira: You're right... I need a transfusion. Athrun: Well, we are teenagers, after all... (sigh) A Future Hope 2 (1) Athrun: So if we do make it to Super Robot Wars, the next game will undoubtedly have SEED Destiny as one of its series. Kira: You're right. What's the name of the lead of that series again? (2) Athrun: I heard from our director, Fukuda-san, that the name of the protagonist in SEED Destiny is Shinn Asuka. Kira: Yeah, and you'll be wearing glasses... Athrun: It's not my idea to rip off somebody like Char Aznable... (3) Shinn: Hi, guys. What are you talking about? (both Kira and Athrun sweatdrop) Shinn: What's the matter? (silhouette of Shinn Getter 1 and Evangelion Unit-02 with burning eyes are behind Shinn) (4) (offscreen Shinn is screaming for help) Athrun: You know, you're lucky. You're original. Kira: Yeah. Now, we wish we were in your series, Loran-kun... Loran: What are you guys babbling about?! WaDom (1) Kira: Hey, what's this, Loran-kun? Loran: That's a WaDom. A Dianna Counter mobile suit. (2) Loran: It's larger than most MS because of the huge beam cannon it houses... Kira: That's not what I'm talking about. (3) Loran: It isn't? Kira: Yeah. I know someone who's a Wa-DUM. (4) Loran: WaDum? Kira: Yeah. WAlking DUMbass. Loran: Don't tell me you're bad-mouthing your director again. Kira: Uh-huh. Big Brother (1) Kira: I'm lucky I was spared one of the most humiliating trends in Gundam history. (2) Kira: (narrating) Char - a big brother Zechs - another big brother (3) Odell - yet another big brother Schwarz - definitely a big brother Kira: So even if I am a big brother, (ed: Cagalli Yula Atha) I'm still saved. (4) Fukuda: In SEED Destiny, Kira, you'll have to wear a mask. Kira: NO~! Kihel and Dianna 1 (1) Loran and Harry are looking at Dianna and Kihel once more. (indistinguishable) (2) (The two girls hug.) (Loran and Harry freak out.) (3) (The two girls kiss.) (Loran and Harry freak out even more.) (4) Kihel: Now it's your turn, both of you. Dianna: Or you'll have to pay us again... Loran: Oh, no... Harry: Why me?! Trends (1) Kira: You know, Loran-kun, there are plenty of trends in Gundam. Particularly fashion-wise. Loran: Yeah... (2) Loran: ...we have Amuro's afro, Quattro's mullet, Heero's "PORNSTAR WANNABE" leather shorts... (3) Kira: Of course, there's the ubiquitous face-concealment method... Loran: ...and lastly the cross-dressing main character. (4) Judau: You ripped me off! Loran: I can pull it off better than you, EXCUSE ME. Kira: What's with you two? Lookalike 2 (1) Lacus: This is the ZGMF-X10A Freedom, but Gundam is a... Lacus and Kira: Huh? (Outline of the Freedom, alongside the word STOLEN) (2) (Freedom flyby) Garrod: Heh heh heh... this was a piece of cake. No G-Controller... Tifa: Don't you think it's odd, Garrod? (3) (GINNs start attacking Garrod) (4) Garrod: Whoa, now what the heck is happening? Tifa: This isn't the Double X, Garrod... Obligatory Bashing (1) Loran: The story of Turn A Gundam compared to previous Gundam series is the fact that the protagonist (myself) is involved from the beginning of the story. (2) Loran: ...Not in the sense to be dragged by the story, but rather, to advance the story myself. (3) Loran: And that's why the series I appear in is the only one Tomino Yoshiyuki likes... (loads and loads of angry Gundam characters behind Loran suddenly pop up) (4) (chase scene) Loran: I'm doing a documentary here! Everyone else: We'll give you your documentary, you [bleep]! Restaurateur (1) (Kira, Lacus, Loran and Dianna are eating in a Gundam-themed restaurant.) (2) Loran: Hey, Kira... check the menu out. Kira: Yeah, the menu's kind of strange... (3) Menu reads: Bernie Burger Nicholl-slaw Fllay Fries Cima Kabobs Tolle Special Ensign Skippy Popcorn Will Game Gambas (4) Lacus: I don't get it. Dianna: I've watched the Black History. The dishes are named after pilots getting it in the cockpit... (sweatdrop) Pregnancy (1) Kira: You can't be serious in saying Fllay's pregnant, Captain? Murrue: She's been having morning sickness... have you two been...? (2) Kira: (Red) No... no... just... no. Murrue: It's ok. Gundam series are almost always R-rated anyway. (3) Kira: That's not it, though. Murrue: What are you saying, you're completely sure you didn't knock Fllay up? (4) Kira: (rant) I'M A COORDINATOR! COORDINATORS SHOOT BLANKS! Murrue: (sweatdrop) I'm not sure you're supposed to brag about that, Kira... Killing off Characters 101 (1) Loran: You know, your director's trying too hard to become Tomino Yoshiyuki. Kira: I'm going to agree with you on that one, Loran-san. (2) Kira: (montage of dead SEED chara silhouettes) Most of the character deaths in SEED didn't have any meaning. None at all. (3) Loran: ...like Victory Gundam and Zeta, where the body count would have made John Woo praise Tomino on bended knee. Sheesh... (4) Kira: Look on the bright side, though... Loran: Don't tell me Fukuda's planning on making a Turn A SEED series... (both sweatdrop) Dianna Counter (1) Char: Did the Dianna Counter rip off Char's Counterattack? Harry: No, they actually didn't. (2) Char: Why is it called Dianna Counter, then? Harry: It's short for... (3) Harry: Dianna Soriel's Counter-Insurgency Rapid-Strike High Mobility Paramilitary Forces. (4) Char: Quite a mouthful. Harry: Yeah, it's why they shortened it to Dianna Counter... First time I got it right, would you believe? (a paper with that written on it is clutched in his hand) Mullet (1) Quattro: I'm Quattro. (2) Quattro: Although I'm known as the "Red Comet" before, I'm now an integral part of the AEUG... Amuro: (whispering to Camille) Plus, he looks like he could win a Billy Ray Cyrus lookalike contest. (3) (visualize Quattro in a cowboy outfit singing "Achy Breaky Heart") Quattro: Don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart... (4) (looks of dread) Camille: That's worse than a brain-fry. Amuro: I shouldn't have said anything. Final Shooting (1) (Amuro misses the final shot.) (2) (Take 2, and Amuro misses yet again.) (3) (Take 3... and a special effect of SEED mode kicking in is shown, and Amuro nails the Final Shooting perfectly.) Tomino: What the heck? (4) Amuro: That Fukuda slime-ball keeps ripping us off. Just payback. Char: Didn't know you were a Coordinator, Amuro. Amuro: No, that was just the special effects department... ^^ Card-Captor Puru Frame 1-3 (Puru in Card-Captor Sakura action outfits, posing.) (4) Amuro: Snap your jaw back on, you lolicon pervert. Char: (jaw hanging open, drooling) Camille: Cool. Combo Attack Frame 1-4 (RX-78, MkII, Zeta, NT-1, Wing, GP-01, F91, Victory-2, Crossbone X3, God, Nu, Silhouette, Neo, Gemini-01, Hyaku Shiki and F90 all using Vulcan attacks) Vulcans! Head Vulcans! Yet another Vulcans! I don't know what good this will do Vulcans! Vulcans forever! Shoot Vulcans! Hyper Special Deluxe Golden Shining Vulcans! Combination attack Vulcans! Nothing but Vulcans on this 4-panel comic Vulcans! Nintendo Junkie (1) (Amuro's Nu beating Char's Sazabi to smithereens using fists only) (2) Char: Kh! Just you wait, Amuro. This Sazabi's got more surprises than a set of Puru clones popping out of a giant cake! (whips out a gamepad from under the Sazabi's seat) (3) (Background: Forward, Down, Down-Forward and High Punch) (Sazabi dragon-punches Nu.) (Pre-Foreground: C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!!) (Foreground: Shoryuken! [in kanji]) (4) Amuro: Since when did fighting games get into the picture?! Char: You liked it, didn't you? Too bad I didn't leak THAT to Anaheim... heheheh... Tomino: ...Boys will be boys... sigh... Endless Waltz (1) (Face shot) Heero: Thus begins, once more, the endless waltz of peace, conflict, and war... (2) (Body shot. Heero is in a tuxedo.) Heero: Wait a minute. Where am I? (3) (Scene is the Earth-Moon friendship party in Turn A, and everyone's dancing.) (Heero sweatdrops.) (4) Harry: What's wrong, Yuy? Can't dance? Heero: I honestly don't know the waltz, I'm sorry. Harry: At least you weren't dragged to the dance floor like someone I know... Creuset no Sentai Again (1) Athrun! Yzak! Dearka! (2) Athrun: Nichol is gone. Yzak: So is Creuset, happy trails to him. Dearka: But we can't make the perfect pose if we're not five! (3) (Another pose.) Athrun! Yzak! Dearka! CREUSET NO SENTAI!!!! (4) (holding the pose) Athrun: ... Yzak: ... Dearka: ...I wonder if we ought to still call ourselves "Creuset no Sentai". Athrun: Shut up, Dearka, and think of a new set of poses. Intellectual Property Again / Decisive Battle 6 (1) Kira: Kyaaah!!! (charges Athrun) Athrun: Kh! (raises Beam Rifle) (2) (A Haro pops out of the beam rifle.) (3) (Fin Funnels immediately appear out of nowhere and blast the Aegis to smithereens.) (Kira watches dumbfounded) (4) (Amuro Ray's Nu Gundam is silhouetted in the smoke) Amuro: What did I tell you about Haro, you thief? Athrun: I want my mommy... Kira: Sometimes I wish I was just another extra in times like this... Decisive Battle 7 (1) Kira: Where's Athrun? It's the final battle take. (2) (Big, pink Haro appears. Kira sweatdrops.) Athrun: Kira, it's me. (3) Kira: Athrun, what have you done to Aegis? (4) Athrun: That rat bastard Peacecraft was at it again. Stole Aegis when his Epyon went boom. Fukuda: I'm not going to make Gundam series anymore. Amuro: (In Nu Gundam) ... (Extremely angry with several veins popping out of his head) Musicality (Mullet, part 2) (1) Loran: (sorting through several Gundam albums) Hey Kira, did you know that Warren Wiebe sang one of the ending themes for Gundam X? Kira: Yeah, "Human Touch", right? I like that song. (2) Kira: All the music on Turn A Gundam was done by Ms. Yoko Kanno, right? Loran: Yep... by the way, what's this? (3) (Now Playing: Dashing Char) Kira: Are you sure that's in a Gundam series, Loran? Loran: Yeah. Look at the name here - "Dashing Char". (They visualize Char in a disco wearing his OYW outfit and posing a la John Travolta from Saturday Night Fever) (4) (Now Playing: Fly, Gundam!) (another visualization of the Gundam cast wearing the Village People ensemble) (looks of dread) Kira: Well, Gundam WAS originally made in 1979... Loran: Makes you appreciate how far we've come. Kira: (The Village People weren't around that time... I think.) The Lure of Haro (1) (Onboard the Vesalius, Athrun is tinkering with the cannons.) (2) (Later, in a battle with the Archangel...) Creuset: FIRE!!! (3) (A horde of Haros pop out from the cannons.) Creuset: What the-? (4) (Amuro Ray begins to dismantle the Vesalius the hard way.) Creuset: No! Stop! Wait! It wasn't me! Honest! Amuro: Shut up, you mask-wearing goon! First you steal the mask and now my Haro! I oughta... (in the distance, behind an asteroid, Athrun is laughing himself silly.) Fangirl-crazy (1) Loran: Hey, Heero-san, I wonder why your series is more popular than mine... Heero: It is simple, really. (2) (Montage of Duo, Trowa, Quatre and Wu Fei) Loran: It must be the other bishounen who pilot the Gundams. Heero: Nope. (3) (Montage of all 5 Gundams in action) Loran: Big explosions? Colorful mobile suits? Heero: Not that either. (4) Loran: Then what is the secret to girls liking Gundam Wing so much? Heero: My leather shorts, of course. (snide grin) Loran: Porn star wannabe... (sweatdrops) Royalty (1) Kira: Throughout the history of Gundam, royalty is as popular in the world of Gundam as it is in real life. Loran: Many series feature royalty, be it princesses, princes, queens, kings... (2) Kira: There's even a set of fighters based on a royal flush! Loran: The Shuffle Union! (3) Kira: And back to royalty, there's Queen Maria Pia Harmonia, Princess Marie-Louise... Loran: And Queen Dianna Soriel... (4) Loran: Dianna-sama... (dreamy look) Kira: Forget it. We've lost him again. Loran The Streaker (1) (Kira sees a naked Loran running past the camera) Kira: Did you see that, Athrun? (2) (Loran runs the other way, naked as usual.) Athrun: See what? Kira: Look here... (3) (Loran runs one more time yet again.) Kira: There! Athrun: Psh, that's nothing. Don't let that bother you. Kira: But why? (4) Athrun: If you keep looking, the fans will write more yaoi fan fictions for you than they even did to Mr. Leather Shorts. (Kira sweatdrops.) Kira: They already are. Athrun: This is what I get for having "Assram" as my fansub name... (sweatdrops too) A Cheer To The Moon (1) (Scene in Turn A ep. 1 where Sochie spies Loran lying on top of the FLAT.) (2) Loran: Everyone, the Earth is such a wonderful place! Please return soon! (3) (Loran's eyes glass over) Sochie: Uh-oh... (4) (Loran howls and starts to metamorphose into a werewolf) Sochie: Crap, it's his time of the month! Better get away else I might get bitten... Don't Imitate Video Game Taunts (1) (Heero and Kira are clowning around...) Kira: Hey, give me that limited edition ultra-rare Card Captor Sakura calendar! (2) (Heero proceeds to moon Kira.) Heero: Ora ora! (3) (But as it is, he unwittingly shows the OTHER end to Relena, who has a shocked expression on her face.) Relena: ...you... you... you... (4) (Relena uses EXPLODING GOD FINGER on Heero's head.) Relena: .........PERVERT!!! (Kira holds the magazine and is gaping.) One-frame Stupidity (Video Game Lesson) Kira: (hahahahaha) Must... stop... laughing... (ahahahahahahah) Loran: (ahahahahahaha) can't stop... passing out... (ahahahahahaha) Heero: (Kill me now, please...) (crying) Relena: Aw, how cute. (Heero's dressed in Kihel Heim's white dress) Dorothy (1) Loran: You know, some Gundam characters get typecast. Kira: Really? I didn't know that. (2) Loran: There's the "angsty teen" lead, which you, Amuro and Camille play really well. Kira: Yeah, I know that. (3) Loran: And there's... (starts laughing) Kira: What's up, Loran? (sees past him and sees Dorothy with Quatre following her) (4) Loran: ...Mistress and servant. Kira: I'll bet she likes leather and he likes being handcuffed... Loran: Any more and we'll end up censored, so be quiet. Lookalike 3 (SEED Destiny Mode) (1) Kira: You know, it's not fair that the Freedom gets typecast as a Gundam Double X lookalike. Garrod: I know, Kira-kun... but if you look at the two side by side... (2) (Pic of DX and Freedom side by side) Kira: Oh... I see... now I see the similarities. Garrod: Consequently, you're kind of safe. Your counterpart, on the other hand... (3) (Witz Sou and Roybea Loy are proceeding to lay the smack down on Athrun.) (4) (Pic of Airmaster Burst + Leopard Destroy = Saviour Gundam) Witz: It's not fair that the ripoff gets more famous! Roybea: We don't care about your alias, you rip off our designs, you die! Athrun: (somebody... help... me...) (Kira and Garrod sweatdrop) Athrun, Interrupted (1) Amuro: You screwed Lalah! Haman! Dropped 5th Luna on Earth! Char: You killed Lalah! Broke my disguise in Zeta! (2) Amuro: You lolicon pervert! Char: You cold fish! Athrun: Eh... you guys... you shouldn't be fighting. (3) (Amuro and Char are looking at Athrun evilly) (Veins are popping out of their heads) Amuro: That's him, right? The guy... who... made... my... Haro... PINK?! Char: The nerve... the sheer, utter nerve of this guy... (Athrun sweatdrops.) (4) (Char and Amuro are beating Athrun to death.) Amuro: You Haro-pirate! Char: You identity thief! (foreground) Quess: Finally, those two have found something to agree on. Loran: Yeah, and that it's Athrun Zala who ripped them both off. Creuset, Substituted (1) Athrun: Guys! Guys! I've found something out that's really disturbing. Dearka: What is it this time? (2) Athrun: Creuset's a CLONE! Yzak: Really? Dearka: How'd you know that? (3) Athrun: Here's proof: (Creuset runs by) Creuset: Puru puru puru puru puru puru puru~!!! (4) (FG: Creuset running up and down, arms flapping and still saying "Puru puru puru puru puru puru puru~!") (The four pilots sweatdrop) Nichol: I think I'll gouge my eyes out with the Sword Strike's sword. Athrun: It's even more disturbing than I thought. (Yzak and Dearka have their mouths hanging open) Char Versus Amuro (1) Char: This isn't fair. That wire-guided techno freak is considered the best pilot in the Universal Century. (2) Char: Well, at least he isn't that scintillating in his personal life. Spends time tinkering with machines, has a freaky Afro... (3) Char: ... and he's a cold fish when it comes to the opposite sex. Camille: Er... Char... Char: What is it? (4) Camille: You didn't mention all your girlfriends were underage. Char: Shut up, you. Universal Century (1) Kira: (in the Black History chamber) The first part of the Universal Century was fraught with conflict, from the One Year War, all the way to the Gryps Conflict, to the two Neo Zeon wars, the rise of the Crossbone Vanguard... (2) Kira: ...and toward the end of the Zanscares, the Universal Century was an era raised in blood and fire, with despair and hope all co-existing in a cataclysmic time. (3) Loran: Reading the Universal Century files again, Kira-kun? Kira: This is pretty interesting, Loran-kun. Look... (4) Kira: The time of the CONSENT wasn't chronicled properly. Loran: You can blame it on the Canadians for screwing up G-SAVIOR. Kira: Hey, I like MacGuyver... Loran: That's not relevant. Soleil (1) Athrun: Wow! Is this the Soleil? Harry: Yep. Great, huh? (2) Athrun: It's a real piece of work! The Cosmic Era doesn't care much for aesthetic designs anymore... all streamlined weapons of death. (3) Athrun: But this... Harry: ...well, this is a mother ship that is civilian in nature, not military. (4) Athrun: Not military? I was going to say this kicks more ass than the GENESIS! Harry: (Adjusting glasses) You don't have to go to that length to be in the CC, Athrun Zala. Tronbe (Courtesy of Domon Kashuu) (1) Elzam: Behold, Major Zengar! My brand new engine of destruction! (2) Elzam: The Psycho Gundam TRONBE!!! (3) Zengar: What's the difference? (4) (wind gusts by) Carnival (Shamelessly ripped from Dude, Where's My Car?) (1) (far view of the Valcione R) (2) (close view of the Valcione R, near the crotch area) (3) Flaga: I wish I could go on that ride later... (drooling as he's ogling the Valcione R) (4) Creuset: Me too, son. Me too. (Flaga looks on in horror) Hand Sanitizer (1) (Quattro and Athrun are shaking hands) (2) (After shaking hands, they go clean their hands with hand sanitizer) (3) (Both look over their shoulder and see the other cleaning their hands) (4) (Both are arm in arm and laughing) Clone (1) Kira: It's common knowledge to those who have watched my series Gundam SEED unfold completely... that Rau le Creuset is a clone. (2) Kira: But didn't you know that other series feature clones as well? For instance, Gaia Gear has a clone of Char Aznable, Gundam G has a clone of Kyouji Kasshu... (3) (Kira gets trampled by a cloud of dust) Cloud of dust: Puru puru puru puru puru puru puru puru~!!! (4) Kira: (on the ground) ...I forgot about the other set of clones... Elpeo Ple: Are you okay? Fllay (1) Fllay: Hi! I'm Fllay Allster. (2) Fllay: Some nasty people killed my father, so I'm going to use Kira to avenge him! I will do whatever it takes... (3) Kira: (Sigh) It's not nice having an angsty girl friend... (4) Loran, Char and Chronokul: I understand you completely. (Kira horrified) High Schoolers (Courtesy of MilesTailsProwler) Panel One: Nichol: Everyone in the Le Creuset team has a parent on the Supreme Council.... Panel Two: Yzak: Hey, you! Where is Commander Creuset? Dearka: Uh... Athrun: Interrogation. Panel Three: Rau: And that concludes my report. I would like to prove to you all that I was in no way at fault for my actions. Ezaria: Hmm... Siegel: Commander Le Creuset... why is it you decided to command a group of our children as a special unit? Panel Four: Rau: Cause I like High School Boys That's Why !! (commitee sweatdrops) Char: (in BG) This guy has it worse than Flaga or me, that's for sure. Loran: You're right. Cross Scar (1) Nichol: Yzak, where DID you get that cross scar? Sochie: Yeah, you haven't told us that story before. Yzak: Well... (2) Yzak: (narrating) I was but a child when the Bloody Valentine incident occured... my parents were the first few Coordinators... (3) Yzak: (narrating)...and for that, they were killed... and then I found my mentor who taught me how to pilot MS, until I met a girl... (4) Nichol: Yeah, yeah, and you killed that girl and put the cross mark on your cheek. Yzak: How did you know the end of that story? Sochie: Because we know you've been pulling our leg, and the scar's supposed to be on your cheek, not on your nose. Yzak: Oh. Real Lacus and Fake Lacus (by The Homeless Guy) (1) Lacus Clyne and Mia Campbell (Fake Lacus): I'm the real Lacus Clyne! Everyone else: O_o (2) Mia: No, you're not, you fake Coordinator! Lacus: So are you, you silicone-laden hussy! (Everyone gapes) (3) Lacus: Kira! It's me! We've lived together for two years? Don't you recognize me? (Everyone looks at Kira) Mia: Come on, Kira. Say who's the real one. Kira: It's... um... the-one-with-the-flat-chest. (4) (Lacus slaps Kira with the Bright Insubordination Slap™) [Note: This scene should look exactly like Sochie vs. Loran in Turn A, ep. 8.] Lacus: (demon look with veins popping) PERVERT! (Everyone, especially Mia, sweatdrops) Finale of Haro (1) (Launcher Strike prepares to fire its Agni launcher...) (2) (and the laser takes on a characteristic circular shape...) (3) (Launcher starts broadcasting...) Speaker: Haro genki! Haro genki! (4) (cockpit view, Kira sees Fin Funnels closing in on him) Kira: Holy smoke, where's the self-destruct button? (sweating) Amuro and Char's Counterattack, part 1 (1) Amuro: As you may not have known yet, through the efforts of the Learning Computer on my original Gundam, the Amuro Ray AI was made. Char: There's also a Char Aznable AI, taken from my OYW battle data. (2) Char: These two modules first came into contact during the Gundam F90 manga. Amuro: (Don't spoil it for them, Char.) Most people are saying that the director of Gundam SEED is ripping the original Gundam storyline off. Char: So... we'll just plug these AI modules into the Strike and Aegis Gundams, respectively. (3) (The two are tinkering with the Gundams in the supply room.) Amuro: I wonder what will happen? Char: This is so going to rock. Murdock: Hey, you two! What are you doing? Amuro: (in Kira outfit) I'm Kira. Went to the barbershop. Char: (in Creuset outfit, complete with mask) I'm Le Creuset. Checking on Flaga. Murdock: Hmm... didn't know Le Creuset had such an ugly mullet. (4) Char: WHAT ARE YOU CALLING "UGLY"?! Amuro: Hey, hey, quiet... (we'll get caught if you make another scene) Amuro and Char's Counterattack, part 2 / Decisive Battle 8 (1) Kira: Kyaaah!!! (charges Athrun) Athrun: Kh! (raises Beam Rifle) The two MS circle each other, blowing limbs and heads off... (2) ...and the Strike and Aegis re-enact the Final Shooting. (3) (Char and Amuro are laughing in the background) Amuro: Genius. Pure genius. Char: Wahahahahaha... so cool! (4) (in respective cockpits) Kira: What's going on? Why do I have an Afro? Athrun: And why is my hair blond, and why do I have a mullet? (Amuro and Char are rolling on the ground, laughing their asses off) Note: Amuro Ray and Char Aznable AI contain Pilot Hairdo Revisioning™ Bright Dilemma (1) (Lounging) Bright: Why is Gundam SEED so dang popular? Char (as Quattro): Beats me. (The two see the infamous "Archangel gets hit" footage) Bright: I have an idea. Char: Uh-oh. (2) (Argama gets hit) (3) (Bright strips down to an AEUG thong, and, well, bounces.) [If you don't know what that is, you're too young to be reading this comic. Hint: Chris Pontius does it in the end credits of Jackass: The Movie] (4) Amuro: For the love of Lalah, put some pants on! (gapes at Bright) Char: (laughing his ass off) Camille: (Gaping) Chayla Massnable (1) (Pic of Chayla Massnable is shown) (2) Kira: Who... is that? Loran: It says here: "Chayla Massnable". (3) Kira: THAT's Char? Loran: No, just a really attractive girl who dresses like Char. Kira: Right... (4) (Kira wearing Fllay's dress) (Loran dressed as Laura Rolla) Kira: Too bad we won't ever get to wear a mini-skirt like Chayla. Loran: Cross-dressing has its limits, unfortunately. All Your Nukes In U.C. 0093 War was beginning. (Luna2 explodes.) (In Ra Cailum bridge) Bright: What happen? Astonage: Somebody set up us the decoy attack. Chein: We get signal. Bright: What! Chein: Main screen turn on. (Char appears on the monitor) Bright: It's you!! Char: How are you gentlemen!! Char: All your nukes are belong to us. Char: You are on the way to extinction. Bright: What you say! Char: You have no chance to survive make your time. Char: Ha ha ha ha.... (Char disappears.) Chein: Captain! (Shot of Nu Gundam launching) Bright: Take off every Nu Gundam! Bright: You know what you doing. Bright: Move Nu Gundam! Bright: For great justice. Sleeping Around (1) [Dianna and the others are watching the infamous Kira and Fllay scene] Kira: (running out of the room) I'll protect everyone on this ship! (2) Relena: Hey, look, look! Dianna: What's so unusual about that? Haman: Over there. [Note: This is CDA Haman, not Zeta-era.] (3) (They see Fllay on the bed, looking like she'd been raped by a hurricane...) (The trio sweatdrop) (4) (Much later) Dianna: Is it true that once you've had a Coordinator, you won't stick to Naturals anymore? Relena: Yeah, how was it? Good stuff? Haman: Did he meet your expectations? Was he the stud that you told us he'd be? Fllay: Just what has gotten into you three? Cagalli's Trap (1) (Cagalli is about to bomb the BaCOWE's into oblivion.) (2) (She presses the button...) (...and the cockpits of the BaCOWEs get sealed off.) (3) (The cockpit loudspeakers play the Bee Gees' "Staying Alive" at full volume!!!) BaCOWE pilot: No! Not that! Anything but that! (4) BaCOWE pilot: No! No! AAAAHHHHH! (head explodes) Kira: ... (better not make her angry) Andrew Watfield: Such a powerful... finishing move... Loran Cehack's SEED Mode (1) (Loran, Dianna, Fllay and Kira are watching reruns of Gundam SEED) Kira: (humming) Fllay: (lying on Kira's lap) Loran: Why do I get the feeling I've seen this before? Dianna: SEED's director obviously snuck into the Black History Chamber. (2) (SEED Mode FX) (They see SEED mode kicking in, and Kira owning every enemy) (3) Loran: Even that, I've seen before... I think I had SEED mode kick in AFTER I piloted the Turn A the first time... (4) (SEED Mode FX, but replace the purple SEED with a walnut) Dianna: Sochie nailed you in the SEED. (Cut back to the scene where Loran gets kneed in the groin by Sochie...) Loran: (covering his crotch) Oh, I remember. That hurt. (Kira and Fllay are laughing) Stunts (1) Kira: Don't Gundam protagonists do stunts? Loran: Your, ehrm, stunt with Fllay was a first, I'll give you that. (2) Kira: (turning red) No, not that kind of stunt. You know, [scene of Heero jumping out of a building] action stuff, that kind of stunts. (3) Loran: Oh, okay. There's the Amuro and Char Jeep versus Horse chase scene, Hathaway's Flash, YOUR jump into the Strike... Kira: And Mr. Leather Shorts' leap from a self-destruct of his Gundam. Wait... didn't you jump out of a blimp onto a biplane? Loran: Yeah, I did. (4) [Loran's SEED mode background] Loran: Oh, for the Moon Race's sakes, stop showing that. Kira: Let me guess... you hurt yourself, again. YAMATOWNED'D (1) (Strike shoots a tracer at Duel, doing no apparent damage...) Yzak: That's nothing! I'll kill you, STRIIIIIKEEEE! Kira: That's what you think! You'll be the one with cotton stuffed up your nose! (2) (Inside the Duel's cockpit, the monitors change into a view of the Archangel's captain...) Yzak: What... trickery is this? Kira: Eat fanservice!!!! (Kira starts toward the Archangel and starts shaking it) (3) (Yzak sees the stock footage fifty times and passes out due to excessive blood loss through the nostrils) Yzak: STRIIIiiiikkkkeeee.... (fading) (Scene: Yzak is gaping the footage, his hands stuffed in his nose, but the blood keeps on spurting out his nose) (4) (At debriefing, Yzak has cotton stuffed up his nose.) Nichol: What's up with you? Yzak: Dhhhnnnt uhhhhsk mhhhh. (Don't ask me.) Athrun: I think I'll submit my resignation from ZAFT. Daimos 1 (1) (Loran, Dianna, Fllay and Kira are watching reruns of Tosho Daimos) Kira: (humming) Fllay: (lying on Kira's lap) Loran: Why do I get the feeling I've seen this before? Dianna: Isn't this the Nagahama Romance Trilogy? [ED: The Nagahama Romance Trilogy is Combattler V, Voltes V and Daimos.] (2) Kira: Why, yes. Yes it is. Fllay: Come to think of it, your series resembles Daimos an awful lot. [Fllay is looking towards Dianna and Loran] Dianna: Really? (3) Kira: You didn't tell me you watched Daimos. Fllay: I watched it for the love story, Kira. (Scene of Kira and Fllay running to each other [In Kazuya and Erika outfits, respectively]) Ki~ra~! Fl~lay~! (4) Kira: (Didn't know I look good in red) Fllay: (And I in green) Loran: ...If you think about it, that's actually a good idea. Dianna: If only your director kept you alive, it might have taken place, Fllay. (everyone sighs) Creuset Disturbing (aka MEDIC!!!! 1) (1) (Creuset running up and down going "Puru puru puru~!") Nichol: I think I know who the culprit is. Athrun: Who? Nichol: Yzak Jule. (2) Yzak: Me? Why me? Nichol: You were the one on Medic duty. (3) Yzak: So? Nichol: Anata baka, you switched my pills with his! Yzak: Why? What are you taking? Nichol: Prozac. (4) (Everyone gapes at Nichol) Nichol: What? It's just medicine... right? Athrun: No, we're just wondering why you're not as angsty as everyone else. Yzak: Turns out Commander Creuset has some... weird reactions to your medication... Yogurt vs. Chili 2 (1) Cagalli and Andy are arguing over Kebob sauce again. Andy: If you won't agree with my adult taste of yogurt sauce, fine! Cagalli: Well, sorry, but Chili sauce does best! (Char and Amuro pass by.) Andy: Let's ask them. Cagalli: Fine by me. (2) Andy: Hey, try these. (Char and Amuro taste the chili sauce first, then yogurt.) (Andy has a weldng mask on in case someone breathes fire in his face... AGAIN) (3) Char: Chili sauce is better. Amuro: No, Yogurt sauce is better! Char: That's because you're a bland 1337 h4xx0rz. Chili. Amuro: You sick, perverted lolicon! Yogurt! (Cagalli and Andy gape at both of them) (4) Char: I'll drop a PLANT on Earth to prove my point! Amuro: The Nu Gundam isn't just for show! (Cagalli and Andy sweatdrop) Cagalli: ...We shouldn't have let them argue. Andy: Let's go elsewhere. Combination Attack (This is taken from another 4koma, sorry lots.) (1) (Athrun in Justice and Cagalli in Strike Rouge are talking; the Providence is nearby) Athrun: Listen, you stay close to me during the battle, okay? Cagalli: What? And let you hog all the kills for yourself? (2) Athrun: (veins popping) No, I mean that because I'm looking out for your safety. Cagalli: (veins popping too) You lie! Just because I'm a girl, you think I'm weak! Creuset: Uh... guys, you shouldn't be fighting here... (3) (Justice and Strike Rouge spam Providence with Beam Rifle fire) Cagalli and Athrun: YOU SHUT UP AND STAY THE HELL OUT OF THIS! (4) Fllay: They pulled out that comeback like it was loaded and ready to go... I wonder if they always act that way when they fight. Kira: Uh-huh. (I'm so embarassed...) MEDIC!!!! 2 (1) Yzak: This absolutely sucks ass. First I was a 1337 Duel Gundam pilot, now all I do when I'm not piloting is be this damn ship's medic. Kira: Hey, look on the bright side... you have access to everyone's medical history. Yzak: Oh, yeah... right. (evil grin) (2) (Kira, Flaga, Athrun and Yzak are rummaging the Medical Records for the Archangel) Flaga: Whoa, look at this! Kira: What? Yzak: Check this out... Fllay, Lt. Natarle Badgiruel and Capt. Ramius all have breast implants! (Athrun passes out) (Kira and Flaga turn red) (3) (Looks like Lt. Natarle Badgiruel is in the room also...) Natarle: There are regulations regarding the confidentiality of medical records, Ensign Jule... Yzak: (mortal terror on his face) (Athrun is unconscious; while Kira and Flaga have already high-tailed it out of the records room) (4) (Much, much later...) Millie: Did you hear what happened in the records room? Fllay: Lt. Badgiruel caught Yzak Jule checking out her medical records. Then she locked the room. Millie: What happened after that? Fllay: Oh, for an hour, there was a lot of screaming, moaning and crying... ...all from Yzak... (Both sweatdrop) Catch-22 (1) (This is the scene where Quess Paraya goes out into space without a space suit.) (2) (Quess opens the hatch of the Jagd-Doga and flies to Char...) (3) (only to find she's not wearing ANYthing.) Char: Urk... (nosebleeds and passes out, failing to catch Quess) (Quess crashes into the cockpit wall, hurting her head) (4) Tomino: QUESS PARAYA!!! THIS IS THE MOVIE VERSION, NOT THE NOVEL VERSION! Quess: Sorry... (rubbing head) Tomino: I told you not to show any skin near him. Now we have to get another transfusion for Char. Quess: It's not my fault he's a lolicon... (sighs) Char: (catatonic) A vision... of heaven... Another Video Game Spoof... (AKA Silent Scope) (1) Athrun: (playing Silent Scope) Nichol: ...I wonder what is it with you and all those pre-Cosmic Era video games, Athrun. Athrun: Well, I have a liking for things of the past. Dearka: Yeah, and what will a sniper bullet do against a G-machine? We've got Phase Shift Armor anyway. Nichol: But if you use the scope on something like a... (2) (Athrun gets the light bulb thingy on his head) (Athrun starts running to the Engineering Deck) Nichol: Uh-oh. Yzak: Why do I have the feeling I need to take more medical suplies next mission? Dearka: Quit the euphemism, Yzak, I'll bring lots of cotton too. (3) (The 4 G-machines are in Inactive Mode, and are hidden by asteroids...) Athrun: See? Nichol: My mother will be angry at me if she ever finds out. Yzak: Dang, all out of cotton. Dearka, got a spare? Dearka: Screw you, Yzak Jule. I'm all out myself. Athrun: QUIET! (Le Creuset's GINN flies over) Le Creuset: What are you boys doing? (Doesn't take a genius to figure out what these guys are doing) All 4: Shhhhh!!!!! Le Creuset: (What?) Athrun: Just look at the scope. (4) (Le Creuset immediately faints after looking.) Yzak: What happened to him? (Dearka looks.) Dearka: Sweet saints in heaven. Yzak: (looks) Oh, my... Athrun: Why aren't you looking anymore, Nichol? Nichol: ...you do know that doing this won't give you an extra life, Athrun... Athrun: I know.... Say... let's do this again next mission.... Yzak, Dearka, and Nichol: Aw, hell naw! Silent Scope... 2 (1) Athrun: It's just not fair. We're doing reconaissance and we immediately get condemned by the ZAFT Supreme Council as a bunch of perverts. Yzak: Well, the Supreme Council are composed of OUR parents, so that makes some sense. Nichol: I hate this. I never even got to see the... (2) (Everyone starts gaping at Nichol) Nichol: (turning red) What? Dearka: Nichol, you are officially scaring me now. Yzak: I'm no match for you. Athrun: Quit it, you guys. At least I managed to stash the scope before the Supreme Council got medieval on our butts. (3) (Much later, at ORB...) Athrun: Look... a pocket sized scope! Yzak: Athrun, your level of perversion has gone through the roof. Dearka: You the man, Athrun; you the man! (Crack of sniper fire is heard, everyone runs for cover) (4) Yzak: Holy smoke! What was that? Nichol: Someone else has a scope! Athrun Zala! Explain yourself! Athrun: ... ... .. ... Dearka: Come on, man, talk! Athrun: ...Cagalli caught me. (Everyone gapes, then continue running) Cagalli: I'm not through with you yet, you [censored]! Kira: (Can't believe I missed. So that's what Athrun was doing with the scope...) Silent Scope... 3 1/2 (1) (At the MS Deck of the Vesalius) Athrun: Eureka! (lightbulb) Nichol: Eh... Yzak: Everyone, run. Now. (2) Dearka: No, we can't run. If that happens, Athrun will be the only one to be fried. Besides, I think I saw... Nichol: ...yeah. To tell you the truth, I have actually never seen... Yzak: Nichol, stop. Athrun: You guys. There's something I found out about Phase Shift Armor... (3) Athrun: You see, if we program the frequencies of this here scope, we can see through fabric. But it only works if we're looking through something that has Phase Shift Armor on. (4) Yzak: What's your point? Athrun: THIS. (dials a cell phone) Athrun: Kira? Yeah, you know, try suggesting to your engineer to put PS on the Archangel. Why? You know why. Yes, I AM a pervert, but that's not relevant. We need to give poor Nichol a nice view. Yes, I know. The director told me you'd slice him with the Sword Strike. No, I do not believe the red-haired girl on the Archangel would agree to sleep with Nichol. Yes. That is right. Thank you... ...Mister President... (MGS spoof) (Everyone else sweatdrops.) Silent Scope 3 2/2 (or Phase Shift Archangel 2) (1) Murrue: You what? Flaga: I analyzed the data on the Phase Shift and worked around the power systems. Now the Archangel will have Phase Shift armor... (snicker) (2) (Aegis, Buster, Duel and Blitz are just moving around the Archangel doing nothing) Murrue: ??? Flaga: They're just evading the attack! Natarle: Is this some kind of... reconaissance? Neumann: That's strange... the Blitz stopped moving... (3) Nichol: Oh... my... Athrun: See, Nichol, that's what a woman looks like in the buff... Nichol? Nichol Amalfi, are you there? (static) (Looks outside, and sees the Blitz spammed by missiles, but otherwise unharmed) (4) (at ZAFT supreme council) Patrick Zala (Athrun's dad): ATHRUN ZALA! EXPLAIN YOURSELF! USING MILITARY TECHNOLOGY TO LOOK THROUGH WOMEN'S CLOTHING! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF! Athrun: You wouldn't understand. Patrick: (whispering) If you told me beforehand I would've arranged for some feminine company for Mr. Amalfi... Patrick: You didn't think you became a perv-o without heredity? (Athrun sweatdrops) Silent Scope 4.131592 (AKA Cagalli's Revenge) (1) (At ORB, the 4 ZAFT Gundam pilots are relaxing in the shower) Athrun: Nothing like a cold shower to wash off a day's perversions. Yzak: You know, I wonder why your dad let you off easy. Dearka: You're lucky... my mother chewed me out quite well. Nichol: ...an MS? (2) Athrun: Holy smoke, I remember! I leaked the scope to Kira! (3) (Outside, Cagalli is on board the Strike, and filming the four of them.) Cagalli: That should be enough. Bloody perverts. Vengeance will be mine... (presses 'Broadcast' button) Kira: Where's the Strike? Flaga: Yula Athha used it to test the Natural OS you made... that's funny. She hasn't returned yet. (4) (At the bridge) Natarle: Why hasn't the Strike returned? (Sees ZAFT footage, and promptly swoons) (At the ZAFT Supreme Council) Le Creuset: (faints) (See High Schoolers) Patrick Zala: This is a cause for concern... the genetic advantage of Coordinators has been made public! Ezaria Jule: Now we shall no longer fear the Earth forces... ...but the Natural women... (Massive sweatdrop) (Everyone sighs.) Aftermath of Cagalli's Revenge (1) (As Fllay Allster walks through the hallways of the Archangel, she notices people giving her glances and whispering about her...) (2) (She passes by Sai, Tolle, Kuzzey, and Millie, who also start whispering) Fllay: JUST WHAT IN THE WORLD IS UP WITH ALL OF YOU? (3) Sai: Here. (shows vidoe of 4 ZAFT pilots in the buff) Fllay: (Turning red) So? Miriallia: It's dead obvious. (4) All 4 to Fllay: YOU SLEPT WITH KIRA BECAUSE OF THAT, DIDN'T YOU?! WAS IT THE SIZE OF THE MATTER OR THE MARATHON? Fllay: No! I didn't... no.. no... (starts crying) Kira: (enters) Fllay... so that's why... (starts angsting) Fllay: NOT YOU TOO, KIRA! (runs off) ZAFT Surrenders (1) (News headline: ZAFT Surrenders.) (2) Lowe Gear: Hey Gai, check this out. ZAFT surrenders. Murakumo Gai: I wonder why? (3) Read: Because of a certain genetic mutation common to all male Coordinators, their exceptional stamina and physical endurance also applies to other aspects. (4) Gai: I get it, albeit loaded with euphemism... Lowe: Sheesh... they just have to say that Coordinators blow Naturals out of the water in the sack... (both sigh) Something's Not Quite Right Here (1) (Fllay sleeping in her room) (2) (A silhouette stands up, and starts putting on clothes...) Fllay: Kira? Is that you? Good morning... ???: Good... morning... eh... (3) (Sun finally shines... shot of Fllay looking at ???'s face, but...) Fllay: You... you're not... YOU'RE NOT KIRA!!! (4) (Scene shows Nichol high-tailing it out of Fllay's room) Fllay: (in only a blanket) Help! This Coordinator ravished me!!! Nichol: Wasn't me! Honest! I was sleeping in my bunk when I felt this... ...[rest of message removed for censorship reasons] Sai, Tolle, Kuzzey and Mirialla: (sweatdrop) Epilogue: (4 frames too) Kira: (In room, on a cell phone) Yeah, it's me. Kira. Everything went according to plan. Yes. Yes, she thought that was me last night. Yes, there was no difference in what took place. Yes, I have video copy of the entire event. Yes, we can use this later. Yes, and now Mr. Amalfi will die happy and not worry about his piano. Yes, and we all know Coordinators such as ourselves shoot blanks. No, my cover is intact. Wait for further announcements? Thank you... Mr. Zala... (laughs) OWNED'D (1) Le Creuset: This is funky. I was supposed to get the info for the Providence Mark II from the contact here. (2) Le Creuset: I'm here with my Providence, but... (Green and pink eyes start lighting up) (3) Le Creuset: Uh-oh... (EVERY KNOWN GUNDAM FROM THE UC AND EVERY OTHER UNIVERSE HAS THEIR WEAPON POINTED AT THE PROVIDENCE) Amuro: On my mark... (4) Amuro: Fire~! (frame freezes as every shot is about to hit the Providence) Le Creuset: Mommy... Nichol's Aftermath (1) (In Vesalius) Athrun: Nichol! The great lover cometh! Nichol: Shut up, Athrun. Yzak: So how did it go? Dearka: You know, I really thought out of us four, you'd be the last guy to get laid. Imagine you beat us all to it... (2) Nichol: Honestly, it's not like that... (reminisces) Kira actually called me and said the director planned on killing me off. Yzak: And? That's no secret. Dearka: ...continue... (3) Nichol: So, Kira decided to do me a favor and made me replace him when the lights went out at the Archangel. Athrun: In exchange for what? Nichol: He said he'd film it. (4) Athrun: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? FILM IT? Yzak: Your mother will not be pleased. Dearka: Seems you take after your playboy father. Nichol: >_< (sad) Puzzle Bubble (1) Kira and Cagalli: (playing Puzzle Bubble) Athrun: Like it? (2) Kira: Yeah. Cagalli: Even a leet haxxorz like my brother likes it. Athrun: Wait until you get to level 21! (3) Kira: WTF. Cagalli: The bubbles... are Haros! (arcade cabinet explodes) (4) Amuro: WHERE IS THAT COPYCAT? WHERE? Kira and Cagalli: (Charred, sweatdrops) (Athrun disappears in a puff of smoke) CYCLOPS?! (1) La Flaga: Captain! CYCLOPS has been activated! There won't be anything living within 10 miles of its blast radius! Ramius: No... give the order to evacuate! Neumann: We can't hold on! The engine gave out! Flaga: Holy smoke... Ramius: We'll be atomized... well, it was glad to know you all... (2) (Outside, Kira is spamming the Freedom's guns) Athrun: Won't happen. Kira: Athrun? WHAT? No explosion?! Athrun: Trust me. Kira: I don't think I want to see what this will lead to. (3) (CYCLOPS explodes, but does no apparent damage?!) (4) Kira: What happened? Wasn't there supposed to be an... explosion? (A shout echoes from the Archangel) Ramius: MY CLOTHES!!!! Kira: (Massive sweatdrop) Now it'll be ZAFT, the Earth Forces and Amuro Ray hounding your ass for your perversion, Athrun... (sigh) [thank goodness I was far away from CYCLOPS... and I have a hook-up to the Archangel's cameras... =)] CYCLOPS?! 2 (1) La Flaga: Captain! CYCLOPS has been activated! There won't be anything living within 10 miles of its blast radius! Ramius: No... give the order to evacuate! Neumann: We can't hold on! The engine gave out! Flaga: Holy smoke... Ramius: We'll be atomized... well, it was glad to know you all... (2) (Outside, Kira is spamming the Freedom's guns) ???: Won't happen. Kira: WHAT? No explosion?! ???: Trust me. (evil laughter) Kira: Whose voice is that? It can't be Athrun... (3) (CYCLOPS explodes, but does no apparent damage?!) (4) Kira: What happened? Wasn't there supposed to be an... an... explosion? (A shout echoes from the Archangel) Ramius: OH MY GOD! MY CREW!!! THE EARTH FORCES... AND ZAFT!!! (Didn't know I was a knockout even though I'm twelve years old ^_^) Flaga: Oh, the poetic irony! I can't look like this! No!!! (View of the blast radius... everyone has been turned into a 12-year old girl) (And in the epicenter of the blast, we see a familiar figure clad in red, sitting on a couch and reading lolicon manga...) (As he turns and shows his back, the words "PED COMET" are written in katakana on his back, much like Kuwabara from YYH) Explanation (1) Char: Look, all this nonsense about me being a pedophile has got to stop. I don't do the moonwalk, ok?! Loran: Face it, with your track record, no one will agree with you. (2) Char: Yeah, but those are coincidences. What would I know that they were really younger than me? Loran: Fine, at least you're a loli, not a shota... (shudders) (3) Char: See? (holds out arms, but loli pictures drop from his sleeves) (4) Loran: >_< Quit the masquerade. You yourself are the Pedo Master. Char: Not just the Pedo, the Loli Master! Get it right! (sighs) Yet Another Lame Haro Gag (1) Athrun: This is my new brand of Haro... built especially for Char Aznable. Haro: Haro genki! Amuro: >_< Char: Really? How nice. That Amufro never made me anything. (2) (Athrun opens the screen and shows an immense archive of scantily-clad 13 and 12-year-olds.) (Char's drool is making rivulets on the floor) Amuro: You bastard! (3) (Amuro hits Athrun on the head with the Haro, causing it to explode) Char: (shocked, about to cry) S-s-s-Sasami-chan... (4) (Char beating Amuro) Char: WHY MUST YOU ALWAYS GET IN THE WAY OF MY LOLITA COMPLEX, YOU WHITE BASTARD? WHY? Athrun: That was just the PG-13 rated stuff... (sweatdrops) Char Versus Flaga (1) Char Aznable is known as the Red Comet for his penchant of driving red Mobile Suits. Muu La Flaga is known as the Hawk of Endymion and Mister "Making the Impossible Possible" for his sheer daredevilism in piloting MAs. (2) But the two share a dark secret... (See Char in a cloning plant, making Ple clones for his own... ...amusement) Char Aznable is also known as the Ped Comet for his penchant for having girlfriends way below the age of consent. Muu La Flaga is also known as the "rorikon sukebe oyaji" for "accidentally" giving ORB's princess a squeeze in the rump. (3) Char: Hey, no fair. No showing the "Wild On! Sweet Water" episode, dammit! Flaga: It was an accident, I tell you, an accident! Huh? Char: I foresee my adjutant... my No.2 man, my counselor... (4) Flaga: T... these pictures... Sasami-chan... Puru Two... Quess... Char: Yes... give in to the Ped Side. You must... It is your destiny... Now I'm a Believer (1) (Flaga is walking in the MS Deck...) [Then I saw her face.] (2) ???: KYAAAAAH! (Suddenly Flaga holds out his arms by reflex, and catches someone...) [I'm a believer...] (3) *THWACK* [Song screeches to a halt.] (4) Kira: Flaga-san... it's not because of that I'm uneasy, but I really don't want you to be my brother-in-law, you know what I mean? Flaga: I save her life and you act like this towards me. Why? Cagalli: Get your filthy hands off my rear, pervert. Kira: Your hand looks like its glued to Cagalli's butt. You appall me. SRW Version of Their World (1) ???: The Excellence E.. it's a mech which has a rather girlish look to it. Fiona: It's a father's hobby. (Fiona's support crew are cheering) (2) ???: Though the colors are green and white, the silhouette is definitely feminine. Fiona: That's because it's a father's hobby. (Fiona's support crew is joined by Lamia's father) (3) ???: And even regarding the chest... Fiona: Well, that's because it's a... (The group cheering behind Fiona is joined by Vian Zoldark.) (4) (??? = Ryuune; and she punches Vian in the nose.) Why Kira and Fllay Hate Stairway to Heaven (1) (Loran and Dianna are in the couch and looking at Kira and Fllay watching TV.) (Kira: Angst Meter: 50%) (Fllay: Angst Meter: 65%) Loran: I always wonder what prompts people to make lame-ass shit like this. Dianna: I've never heard you use such bad language like that, Loran. Loran: Watch... (2) (Kira and Fllay watch a random soap opera and start imagining evil things) (Kira is imagining stepping on the stepsister with the Freedom) (Kira: Angst Meter: 500%) (3) (Fllay is imagining firing G.E.N.E.S.I.S. at the stepmother) (Fllay: Angst Meter: 750%) (4) (Kira and Fllay are sprouting evil grins that make Rau Le Creuset look like Loran Cehack) Loran: At least that's what they do before SEED's director calls on them. (This increases angst even more than that Park something-or-other band...) Dianna: Too bad "Stairway to Heaven" wasn't animated. I'd love to spam that mother and daughter with the Soleil's beam cannons. Loran: Not you too... (sweatdrop) (Oh well, I was imagining a SRA-esque multiple colony drop, for great justice.) Fear the Pink Ones (1) (Athrun sneaking into Amuro's Batroom, switching his 'afro' hair tonic with something else) (2) (Athrun leaves as Amuro comes in) Amuro: *notices his bedroom door's unlocked* Hey Athrun! Athrun: *looking back* Yeah? Amuro: Did you enter my room? Athrun: No, but I thought I saw Char come out of it. Went to the cafeteria. Amuro: [Damn loli] Ok, thanks. [If anything's missing here, I'm gonna...] (enters room) (3) (Athrun joins Char in the cafeteria. Then they hear Amuro come in screaming wearing only a towel. They notice his afro) Amuro: CCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!! Char: Well, now you're not the White Bastard anymore. Now, you're the Pink Bastard. Amuro: DAMN YOU, PED COMET!!! (4) (Athrun rolls on the floor laughing as the two dissapear into a cloud of dust fighting each other) Pink Revenge (1) (Athrun joins Char in the cafeteria. Then they hear Amuro come in screaming wearing only a towel. They notice his afro) Amuro: CCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!! Char: Well, now you're not the White Bastard anymore. Now you're the Pink Bastard. Amuro: DAMN YOU, PED COMET!!! (2) (Athrun rolls on the floor laughing as the two dissapear into a cloud of dust fighting each other) (3) (Athrun notices a distinctive towel falling on him.He looks up) Athrun: OH MY.... Char: (looks at Amuro as he dangles him by the legs) You Pink Bastard... I didn't know you were THIS SICK!!! Cagalli: OMG. WTF. BBQ. (Amuro goes unconscious. Canteen girls flock towards them) (4) (Much later, Amuro is being surrounded by nearly every female in Gundam...) Amuro: ... (blushing) Loran: What's gotten into everybody these days? Kira: Dunno, Amuro's been the chick magnet. Heero: Does it have to do with him wearing a pink costume now? Garrod: Or his new call sign "Pink Bastard"? Everyone: The world may never know. (sigh) Symmetrical Docking, SEED-style (1) (Dominion and Archangel colliding) Watfield: SYMMETRICAL DOCKING!!! (2-3) (Murrue and Natarle... docking) SFX: Squish (4) (POP) Watfield: ETERNAL!!!! Kira: What was that all about? Arad vs. Flaga (Hint: Arad is from Super Robot Wars Alpha 2, and has an infamously bouncy SO [significant other] in Zeora, much like Flaga in SEED.) (1) Flaga: ARAD! Arad: FLAGA! (2) Arad: BOUNCY!!! Flaga: BOUNCIER!!! Both: BOUNICEST!!!!!!! (3) *THWACK* (4) (Flaga and Arad have spinning heads since Zeora and Murrue hit them both on the head...) Emergency Room (1) (Athrun, Yzak, Dearka and Nichol are at the Vesalius' ER.) Athrun: This was... a bad idea... Yzak: You bastard... (2) Athrun: (narrating) It started out as a normal attack on the Archangel... (shot of the 4 Gundams attacking) Then the Hawk of Endymion [Muu La Flaga] bragged he could take the four of us out without Kira. (3) (Flaga: Come on, you guys!) Athrun: ...then he shot at us with the Moebius Zero's gunbarrels. I thought it was a blank... Yzak: Kira got me with the same trick twice... Athrun: It was a direct camera link to the Archangel's bridge... (4) Athrun: THEN KIRA STARTED SHAKING THE ARCHANGEL! (blood starts spurting out of his nose as he sits up) Dearka: Aaaaahhhh.... Yzak: Can't stop... nose... bleeding... Nichol: (passed out) (Kira: Fear my ultimate finishing move: Yamato Fanservice Attack!!! YAMATOWNED'D.) Ultimate Enemy (1) Kira: If we use our skills wisely, we can beat the three Earth Federation Gundams... Athrun: Yeah, but look! (2) (The three Druggie MS are... COMBINING?!) Orga: Volt In! Shani: Let's Combine! Clotho: Scramble Dash! Shani: Change Chrono Gundam, switch on! All three: YATTE YARUZE!!!! (3) (Kira and Athrun sweatdrop as the combined Gundam's silhouette shadows them) Orga: Fear the wrath of... Shani: You shall taste the fury of... Orga and Shani: The almighty, the powerful... Clotho: PORNO GUNDAM!!!!!!! (4) Orga and Shani: Damn you, idiot! It's CHRONO Gundam, not PORNO, you drug-laced freak! [you stoner!] (they can't see Kira and Athrun about to spam them to bits) Your Reputation Preceeds You (1) Flaga: Heya, girlfriend-stealer. Nice job last mission. Kira: I thought I told you to stop calling me a girlfriend-stealer. (2) Neumann: The girlfriend-stealer is requested to report to the MS deck... Kira: Cut it out, will you? (3) Mirialla: Will Mr. Girlfriend-Stealer please report to the medical room for a checkup... Kira: DON'T ADD MR. TO IT!!! (4) Le Creuset: So... the ultimate Coordinator is also the ultimate girlfriend-stealer. Kira: (furious) NOT YOU TOO!!!!! Making Amuro Angry (1) Char: I hate that cold fish wire-guided techno freak Amuro. Athrun: Yeah, I pay homage to the Haro, and now I'm dubbed "teh Haro pirate of teh Gundam universe". It's sickening. Char: I have an idea. (2) Athrun: Just as well. I'm out of designs. Char: Yeah, all you do with your ideas is ogle the Archangel's captain. Admit it. Athrun: Yeah, yeah. Fine. Let's hear it. (3) (Amuro is flying towards what seems to be a colony drop) Big voice: Haro genki! Amuro: Damn that Athrun Zala! (4) (Amuro sees the big, pink Haro hurtling toward Earth) Amuro: ...Dang. Char and Athrun: Ahahahahahaha... Haro Recycled (1) Cagalli: (blushing) Athrun... I heard from Kira... you like busty girls, don't you? (Cagalli has an oversized bust) Athrun: Eh? (2) (Athrun tests the bust, but finds it's too hard...) Athrun: ? (Something clatters) (3) (Two halves of a Haro fall to the ground!!!) (4) Amuro: So that's what you've been doing with my Haro design, you sick freak! Athrun: No, wasn't me! Honest! Char: I may be the Ped Comet, but you just outdid me. (Cagalli, meanwhile, has long since vanished) Haman's Secret (1) (Fllay and Dianna are watching Haman pass by) Fllay: Wow... Dianna: Such perfect hair. (2) (Fllay and Dianna are talking to Haman) Fllay: You know, we've been admiring your hair. Dianna: We'd like to ask you what your secret is. (3) Haman: My secret? (whips out device) The Hair Iron of DOOM! Fllay and Dianna: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! (They run) (4) Haman: Heh heh heh... got them. (takes off wig) Amuro's Counterattack (in his dreams) (1) Amuro: Char always likes to drop things on the Earth! (2) Amuro: He should pay for it! (3) Amuro: CHAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!!!! (holding the Earth with the Hi-Nu Gundam, about to smash Char with it) Char: Mommy. (4) (Amuro wakes up) Amuro: That was a better dream than getting subjected to Kira's Fanservice Attack. Kira: Seems you want to give that a try. Amuro: I'm a cold fish, remember. Kira: Oh, right. Gundam Character's Favorite Songs: (Please take with a huge grain of salt.) Char Aznable - "Dashing Char". What, you thought of something else? Kira Yamato - Anything by Linkin Park. Enough said. Fllay Allster - As above. Muu La Flaga - "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix-A-Lot. Why? "I like big butts and I cannot lie." Amuro Ray - Mass Carriers = Instant Win. (Everyone else goes: WTF?) Compensation (1) Yzak: I am so frickin' sick of Kira Yamato always slicing my Duel's legs off. (2) Yzak: I wish I could use MS without legs... but I'm not that proficient at piloting. YET. (3) Amuro: Well, there is someone who uses an MS without legs, so... (4) (Yzak, kneeling in Char's side) Yzak: Please, sir, make me your monkey boy! Amuro's Counterattack (for real) (1) (Char in his Nightingale MS, when Amuro appears on his monitor, surrounded by Char's Elpeo Ple clones) Amuro: Hey Char. Guess where they are. Char: WHAT?!!! WHAT'RE YOU DOING WITH THEM? Amuro: Oh just minding my time. We're all in 7th Luna. Want to get them back? 7th Luna's going to explode.... Char: YOU PINK BASTARD!!! Amuro: So... you got 20 minutes left, Ped Comet. (2) Char: Grr.... (heads for 7th Luna) (3) (Nightingale gets inside 7th Luna and Amuro seals the colony) Amuro: Want to experience a colony drop firsthand, Char?!! (evil grin) Char: What... are... you... going... to... do..? (4) (7th Luna begins to burn up in the Earth's atmosphere as it falls) Char: NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Amuro: At least you've got your pedo force with you. Happy trails, PED COMET!!!! Char: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! DAMN YOU, PINK BASTARD!!! Impact... (1) Cagalli: Heya Athrun! Athrun: Hey Cagalli! (Cagalli passes Athrun) (2) Cagalli: Heya Athrun! (appears from behind Athrun) Athrun: Hey...Cagalli? Wait...didn't you? Weren't you? (3) (Athrun surrounded by Cagailli Clones) Athrun: THIS MUST BE A NIGHTMARE!!! Cagalli clones: HEYA, ATHRUN!!! (4) (Flaga tinkering with the cloning machine...with Cagalli clones pouring out) Flaga: More.... More!!! (evil laugh as he keeps pressing the "MAKE" button. In the background, Char and Amuro) Amuro: You overdid it. Char: Yes. I have to admit, this guy are sick. Amuro: For once Char, I have to agree with you. Both: *sighs* Beam Launcher (1) (Flaga in Launcher Strike, firing a...Haro Shot) Speakers: Haro genki! Haro genki! (2) (Amuro in Nu Gundam charging at Flaga) Amuro: DAMN YOU! NOT YOU TOO!!! Flaga: Mode change! (points beam rifle at Amuro, fires multiple beam shot, spamming Amuro) Speakers: puru puru puru puru puru puru puru~! (3) (Char charging at Flaga in Nightingale) Char: DAMN YOU!!! STOP COPYING ME!!! Flaga: Got it! Mode change! (points beam rifle at Char, firing a strong beam shot) (Speakers cry the infamous Cagalli scream) (4) Flaga: Heh, I beat him in his own game. (in the background, Kira and Athrun in Freedom and Justice are about to spam Flaga with veins popping out of their heads, beams closing in on the Launcher Strike) Yamatowned Epilogue (1) Kira: Such a shame they retreated. Would've been fun to Yamatowned them more. Flaga: Worry not. (2) Kira: (Sweatdropping) Don't tell me you used the clone machine also... Flaga: That's right. Kira: (whispering) This guy... Flaga: ...are sick. I know. (3) And in the ZAFT hospital recovery room... Yzak: (waking up) Nurse... a drink of water... please... Nurse: Huh? (turns around, and a slight *boing* sound is heard.) (4) (View of Yzak's face...) Yzak: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yamatowned Epilogue 2 (1) (In the ZAFT hospital recovery room again...) Athrun: You know, this sucks. Why does Kira have to take advantage of our blooming Coordinator hormones? Dearka: Maybe because he's a Coordinator himself, like you said. Look at Yzak, 3 rolls of cotton won't stop the bleeding. Athrun: Right, I've had several transfusions over the weekend. (FIVE rolls can't stop MY nose from bleeding...) Dearka: And Nichol? Athrun: He's lucky. He just faints. (2) Yzak: Athrun, do NOT call for the nurse. Athrun: Why? Yzak: Just go to the damn doctor and tell him to get us a different nurse. Athrun: ...Tch... fine... (3) (And in the doctor's office...) Athrun: Sir, may we ask for a different nurse in our quarters? (The doctor is actually Neo Roanoke, who we all know is just Muu La Flaga in a mask. >_<) (4) Neo: Why, sure. Take your pick... (sliding wall opens... ...to reveal... Murrue Ramius clones. A hundred. All bouncy.) Athrun: (Ridiculously exaggerated) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! Creuset VERY Disturbing (You need background knowledge in MGS2 to understand this.) (1) Gilbert: Le Creuset, here are the modifications done to your facial structure. While your... face will remain the same, these prostheses will help you keep a more... ...normal visage. Le Creuset: (in a mirror, face unseen) Wonderful. An excellent job, Dullindal. Why don't you become a cosmetic surgeon? (2) (In the Hibiki laboratory gun battle) Le Creuset: Now, you are the only two who shall look upon my new face... (slowly takes off mask, view is Kira and Flaga's faces) (3) (Massive GLOOM over Kira and Flaga) (Le Creuset sweatdrops) (4) Kira and Flaga: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (as they run away) Le Creuset: (sweatdrops still) What's wrong with them?! (We see Dullindal's handiwork - Le Creuset looks like... ...like Raiden! [from MGS2]) Creuset Really Really Disturbing (1) Le Creuset: (labeled) You look familiar. (2) Zechs Merquise: (labeled) Really... you too. (3) Zechs: But there's one aspect where we differ... (???) (Le Creuset takes off his mask, causing Zechs to gape) (4) (Zechs gloomies over) (Le Creuset sweatdrops yet again.) Le Creuset: (thoughts) Just what did Dullindal do to my face? r.e.s.p.e.c.t. (1) Monsha: You know what my taste in women is? (2) (Monsha points to Murrue Ramius) Monsha: BOUNCY!!! (3) Murrue: (wagging finger at Monsha) Really, you have to be more respective of your superior officers, Lt. Monsha. (4) Loran: Captain Bouncy! Sai Saici: Can we have your autograph, Captain Bouncy? Neumann: Captain Bouncy is hereby requested to report to the bridge... Sai: Captain Bouncy! Wow! Do those really bounce? (Murrue is in obvious distress.) Balance of Power (1) Bright: (gloom) Zengar: Is there a problem, Captain? The battle is about to be joined. (2) Bright: Everyone's... gone. Zengar: Gone? ...Gone... where? (3) Bright: ...to the Archangel. Zengar: I see... (4) Zengar: But of course, if a ship's captain is a very well- -endowed woman, then... Bright: You really have a penchant for stating the obvious. Zengar: Sorry, it's an old habit. Sukebe Aid (1) Zengar: (in Daizengar) What's all the hubbub about? (2) (Flying over to the source, Zengar Zonbolt sees all his fellow Alpha Numbers... arguing.) Kouji: No, it's my turn. I get to be shot at. Hayato: You wish! Char: MY TURN! (3) Zengar: What's going on here? Amuro: Everyone's... crowding around the Archangel. (Wild Wuerger dashes by the Daizengar.) Arad: Lemme join! (4) Zengar: Let me guess... support defense. Sigh... (gloom) Stupidity (1) (La Flaga in outer space, piloting Strike) (2) (La Flaga gets into a really nasty firefight) Muu: That was close! If I got hit by that, I would've... Murrue: Lt. La Flaga, what is your situation? (3) Muu: A near hit, Captain, but nothing too serious. Murrue: You can never be too careful... listen, whatever happens, make sure you leave a descendant behind, ok? (4) Muu: You saying you want to have my baby? (Everyone at the Archangel stares at Murrue, causing her face to turn tomato red.) A Tactical Analysis (1) Char: How are you gentlemen! Here is an analysis of nukes in the UC and in the CE. (2) (Screenshot) Char: In the CCA movie, Gyunei Guss took just several Funnel shots to take out an awful amount of nukes. One MS. (3) (Another screenshot) Char: In SEED, 2 METEORS, a Strike Rouge, Buster and Duel AS all joined forces to take out nukes that a strategically aimed lone METEOR could destroy. What is the conclusion? (A hand is raised) Well? (4) Kira: Spam tastes good? Char: (throws miniature Axis at Kira) Quiet. Proof Shinn Is Hardcore (1) (Shinn is looking through Zengar Zonbolt's sparse photo collection.) Shinn: Uh, Zengar. Zengar:? Shinn: Is this true? Zengar: All of those pictures are geniune. Shinn: Really? (2) (It's a picture of an F-37 with a Zankantou strapped to it.) Shinn: How could you pilot a thing like this? Zengar: I'm hardcore. Plain and simple. Shinn: (SEED Mode lightbulb goes off in Shinn's head.) (3) (In a battle with Sting, Auel and Stella...) Sting: The enemy! Engage it, Auel! Stella: A fighter? Auel, you get rid of it! Auel: Sure!...(???) (4) Shinn: I am Shinn Asuka! The Sword That Cleaves Evil! (One Excalibur is strapped to the Core Splendor.) Excalibur one-hit-kill Flyby! Auel: (topples his MS laughing, making Shinn miss) Stella: .........(gloom) Sting: Does... ZAFT... accept trade-ins? (In BG) Zengar: I remember the academy days... The Apprentice (1) (Shinn jumps down from Impulse) Zengar: So...Shinn. Shinn: Huh? What is it? Zengar: Want me to take you in as my apprentice? (2) Shinn: (eyes watering over) R-REALLY?! Zengar: I'm dead serious. Shinn: SURE!!! (3) (Other Gundam Pilots who use MS with swords huddle around them. They all talk at the same time) Everyone: Take me too! Please! Zengar! Take me too! (4) Zengar: One at a time. Single stroke (1) (Shinn in a battle with Sting, Auel and Stella) Auel: He's all mine. Sting: You sure? Auel: Yeah.... Shinn: The Armament of the War God has arrived! (2) Auel: Hey...what the-? (Chaos Gundam transfixed on Impulse) Shinn: (written in kanji) Reach them! With the speed of the cloud god! (raises Excalibur up high) Sting: WTF?! (3) (Impulse Gundam Flies up high and slices Chaos into half vertically) Shinn: DIIIIIEEEE!!!!! Stella: OMG! WTF! Sting: OMG! WTF! BBQ! Auel: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! BBQ!!!!!! (4) (Chaos explodes, with Impulse flying away) Shinn: There have none before my Excalibur.... Who have not been cleaved! Stella: Wow... Sting: Maybe we should return these Gundams. You know, exchange them for that one. Stella: Hmm.... Auel: (coming out of the Chaos Gundam's burning cockpit) Hurt.... Bad.... (in the BG) Zengar: Perfectly executed. Yes... Preposterous Naming Schemes (1) Rey: Hi! I'm Rey Za Burrell. I'm a ZAFT test pilot working with Shinn Asuka. (2) Shinn: (whispering) Plus we never tire making jokes about his being broke. Luna: That's because he has the same last name of... (3) (Shinn and Luna are working it (you know, the way the Karateka dude does: http://ninjaworksit.ytmnd.com/)) Rey: Are you two doing that ridiculous dance again? (4) Shinn: You can't touch this! Luna: Stop! Hammer time! Rey: ... (sweatdrops) One-frame Madness (Screen filled with Strike Freedoms) Seabook: Market oversaturation is bad! Amuro: Bigger backpacks do not a swanky MS make. Camille: He spanked my CE counterpart! Loran: Why kill the girl with the biggest hooters in CE? Char: Dammit, I wanna see more Kira on Fllay action, not all this Strike Freedom junk! Flaga: Stick to Body Transfer, you perv-o! Domon: You're one to talk, plothole boy! Kira and Lacus: Terminal... (the two are buried under Strike Freedoms) Distracting Rey (1) Legend flying toward Akatsuki (2) Legend pinning Akatsuki onto an elevated outcropping of rock (3) Legend spin-kicking the Akatsuki's face with both feet (4) Kira: The 619! The 619! Athrun: Who asked you to name it? Shinn: (doubled over laughing) Rey: Why did I ever trust Shinn to do this dumb thing? (sweatdrop) SEED Destiny's Greatest Mystery (1) Loran: One anomaly that Destiny never addressed... (2) Loran: ...is why Shinn never had any from Stellar. (3) Loran: I mean, the girl is living, breathing (at the time) fan service. (4) Loran: (Pissed off) So why the *(#%&!*(^&*(& do the H-doujin eligible ones often get killed off? Why? Char: Sell more H-doujins? Flaga: I'd come back from the dead for one. Amuro: Cram it, plothole boy. Dead Characters Tell No Tales (1) Nichol: You know, with what happened to SEED Destiny, I'm glad I died. Tolle: Me too. Fllay: I don't agree with you completely, but yes. (2) Nichol: Bigger backpacks! Fllay: Better aimbots! Tolle: Kira and Lacus rule the universe! (3) Nichol: I should've had some secks before dying. Tolle: Never even got Milly to give me head. Fllay: Never had the chance to bone Kira up the... (4) (Nichol and Tolle hide behind a Gundam's leg, gloomy) Fllay: ...Me and my big mouth... Bishoujo Game Stereotype (1) (Sting and Auel are whispering to each other, Shinn and Rey are quite far away) Sting: Auel, make sure you keep this secret from anyone and everyone, especially Neo. Auel: Why would I...? (2) (Shinn and Rey are intrigued and move closer to Sting and Auel.) Sting: Because, if this leaked out, Destiny would be the series with the most h-doujins written. Auel: Isn't it like that already? Sting: No, Harry Potter is still #1. Auel: I see... (3) (Shinn and Rey holding Sting and Auel up) Shinn: What is this secret? Rey: What secret are you two hiding? (4) Sting: ... ... ...Stellar lactates. Auel: Hormonal imbalance. (Shinn and Rey gape.) Why, Mitsuo, Why? (1) (Shinn and Kira corner SEED's director) Shinn: Why did you kill Stellar? Kira: And Fllay? (2) Mitsuo: ...Well, I liked Minmay more than... Kira: You... two-bit piece of crap! Shinn: Yeah, I know Stellar was going to die... ...BUT WHY DIDN'T YOU WRITE ME A HIGHLY SILHOUETTED LOVE SCENE WITH STELLAR, DAMN YOU, WHY? (3) (Animated gif of Fllay's bounce) Kira: Nobody offs a fifteen-year old that has knockers that bounce like that, you! Shinn: And let's not forget the poontang I'm supposed to have! (4) Mitsuo: But my wife Chiaki does all the character writing! Shinn: And you don't have the balls to think for yourself? Kira: That's why we're going to ask Yoshiyuki Tomino to direct the third Gundam SEED series! Mitsuo: No, please! I don't want to lose my day job...! What SEED Destiny should've done (1) Shinn: Bah. Our series sucked ass. Kira: You damn right. Athrun: ...May have good ratings, but Gundam fans everywhere call it a pile of crap. (Shinn and Kira nod) (2) Kira: What do you think should've happened to Destiny so it would kick ass like at the very least, Wing? Athrun: Simple. More Rau Le Creuset as Raiden from MGS2 jokes. Shinn: Be serious for once. (3) Kira: Bigger backpacks? Athrun: No. Kira: Better aimbots? Shinn: No. Athrun: Fanservice? (SEED Mode lightbulbs flash in their heads) (4) (The three are shown running into the distance) Shinn: Do you think they'll agree? Kira: Lacus and I rule the world. Of course they'll agree. Athrun: Best decision we've made in awhile. I mean, ZyX doing the female character designs? Ooh la la. The End of the Universe...? (1) Shiva Volkruss: I wonder, what would have happened if the STMC did get to Earth? Einst Regisia Neo: I don't want to think of what might happen. (2) Yuuzes: ...There would be nothing left for the Balmar. (Volkruss and Einst nod) (3) Volkruss: Wait... there would be one way the Earth could drive off the STMC. Einst Regisia Neo: ...That's odd. What do you have in mind? Yuuzes: Come on, show it to us. (4) Volkruss: Does SEED Destiny Episode 50 ring a bell? (The other two evil masterminds gloom over) Yuuzes: Even I'm not as diabolical to employ that. Einst Regisia Neo: ...Indeed. Just In Case (1) Amuro: You know, with Loran having the arguably strongest Gundam ever, I wonder why he doesn't become twisted with power and try to take over the world / kill everyone / make H-doujins canon / what have you. (2) Char: Well, all we have to do is summon an SRW character, then he'd swap back to our side. Amuro: Which character? (3) (Bonta-kun is silhouetted) Amuro: Oh, no, you didn't. (4) Char: Loran definitely won't defect. Loran: ... ... ... No secks?! (1) Kira: You know, something's been bothering me the past few series. Athrun: What is it? That you're suddenly a piloting god? (2) Kira: No... it's just that everyone who has secks in the SEED series mysteriously dies. Athrun: Like who? (3) Kira: (off the top of his head) There's Fllay, Tolle, Flaga (though that was fake), Stellar... AthruN; Makes you wonder why... (4) Kira: Maybe because the director had had it of screwing his bubblehead girlfriend? Athrun: ...Or he's trying to be Yoshiyuki Tomino. Reality TV (1) (Amuro and everybody else sans Kira are huddled around a TV.) Kira: ??? (2) (Kira comes closer) Loran: I knew he'd be voted out. What an ass. Heero: I betted on him making it to the final 4... Domon: Well, boo-****ing-hoo. (3) Kira: What are you guys doing? Amuro: "Survivor"'s live right now. Char: Wanna join? Kira: Er... I guess not. (4) (Kira far away) Camille: He'd die in two days in Survivor. Char: Because he can't live without his computers. Amuro: Damn script kiddie... (Kira trips over because he was talked about) Nobody Noticed At All...? (1) Amuro: You know, something about Destiny bothered me. Char: About the plot lacking any and all form of coherency, being merely a vehicle to see Kirlacus domination? (2) Amuro: No, that's not it. Char: What is? (3) (Pic of Lacus Clyne and Mia Campbell side-by-side) Amuro: How come nobody noticed? Char: Notice what? (4) Amuro: Look... Char: Didn't know you weren't a cold fish anymore. Amuro: Dummy, anybody would have wondered why Lacus gained four cup sizes. Banner (Every character holds up a huge vertical banner saying "No to Commercialization") Loran: You've seen what a Gundam series bastardized by commercialization can do, so when given the choice... Everyone: CREATIVITY FIRST BEFORE MODEL KIT SALES~ Author's final word: In cases of versus topics, only one statement makes sense and stands out. DAN HIBIKI WINS. END TOPIC.