Mistranslation

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In a hotel in Athens:

"Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9

and

11 A.M. daily."

 

In a Paris hotel elevator:

"Please leave your values at the front desk."

 

In a Japanese hotel:

"You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid."

 

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:

"You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet

composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday."

 

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:

"Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."

 

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:

"Ladies may have a fit upstairs."

 

In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:

"Drop your trousers here for best results."

 

In a Rhodes tailor shop:

"Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in

strict rotation."

 

Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly:

"There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic

painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years."

 

In a Rome laundry:

"Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good

time."

 

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:

"We take your bags and send them in all directions."

 

On the door of a Moscow hotel room:

"If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it."

 

In the office of a Roman doctor:

"Specialist in women and other diseases."

 

In an Acapulco hotel:

"The manager has personally passed all the water served here."

 

In a Tokyo shop:

"Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the

long

run."

 

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:

"English well talking."

"Here speeching American."

 

Sign in a hotel corridor in Istanbul:

"Please to evacuate in hall especially which is accompanied by rude

noises."

 

In a Tokyo bar:

Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

 

At a Budapest zoo:

Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to

the guard on duty.

 

In a Swiss mountain inn:

Special today -- no ice cream.

 

Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan:

Stop: Drive Sideways.

 

On the faucet in a Finnish washroom:

To stop the drip, turn cock to right.

 

In the window of a Swedish furrier:

Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.

 

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:

Take one of our horse-driven city tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages.

 

In a Vienna hotel:

In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter