6:30 am Wake up and lie awake in bed.

 

6:31    Realize you spent $18 on last night's dinner, means no eating out

        for the next 6 weeks.

 

6:32    Hit snooze button.  Go back to sleep.

 

7:00    Wake up suddenly with heart in mouth when you realize you didn't

        hit the snooze button -- you turned it off.

 

7:01    Fall asleep again.

 

7:44    Wake up with heart in mouth again.

 

7:45    Get ready to go to school, will shave tomorrow, will eat early

        brunch at (Denny's/Penny's/Lenny's/Dinko's whatever cafeteria).

 

8:03    Arrive at school.  Realize your foreign office mate arrived

        earlier today must have got more work done.

 

8:04    Pass by Advisor's office, chat with Secretary to find out if he

        is coming in today.  He is, darn.  Need to start work on the

        draft due this afternoon.

 

8:15    Read electronic mail.

 

8:20    Delete mail from students taking CMPSC201 regarding questions

        about the class.  Hate your TA job. Depression:  too much

        work to do today.

 

9:00    For jump-start:  go to Pepsi machine.

 

9:05    Kick Pepsi machine; promise yourself to call up the company

        and ask for your money back.  Wonder why they would believe you.

 

9:33    Start printing out loads of stuff that may be vaguely related to

        your work.

 

9:41    Early morning stupefaction.  Mutter racist comments to yourself

        about your office mate.

 

9:43    Curse your office mate in a low tone he would not comprehend.

        Feel good about him not grasping English well.

 

9:58    Finger everyone in the department and most people half way

        around the world (using the "finger" command, of course)

 

10:19    Feel sleepy, should not have stayed late playing Tetris last

         night.

 

10:31    Momentary panic attack!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

10:43    Edit .plan file.  Write a shell program to edit .plan more

         easily.

 

10:59    Drop in at advisor's office and borrow something you don't

         need & and kinda make him aware you are working hard on your

         project.

 

11:05    Perverted daydreams.

 

11:11    Read electronic news.  Midmorning yawn time.

 

11:34    Start typing junk at a very high key-in rate to pretend

         you are working hard as your advisor passes by from outside.

 

11:35    Press the BackSpace key for one and a half minute until all

         the garbage you typed in is erased.  Realize that you can type

         more than 256 characters per half minute.

 

11:41    Flirt with the new girl in the department.

 

11:45    Print out some slides for afternoon's draft + presentation.

 

11:47    Print them again, you forgot to change the date from last

         presentation.

 

11:49    Print another copy in case this one gets lost.

 

11:51    Completely forget about suing the coffee machine company.

 

12:15 pm Hunger pangs:

 

12:20    BigMac/Fries time.  Drink a not-so-cold generic can of cola

         from your desk.  Ch-Ching, you just saved 35 cents by buying

         bulk cola.

 

1:00     Group Meeting with advisor.

1:14     Sudden awareness of one's shallowness.  Resentment towards

         foreign office mate for sucking up to your advisor.  Get reminded

         by your advisor that you need to do some more work for your

         literature survey.

 

1:51     Advisor hands you the reddened copy of your draft for

         corrections.

 

1:51:02  The 49 second urge to murder advisor begins!!

 

1:51:52   Realize that he controls your assistantship/grade/

          graduation possibility/graduation date/all job opportunities/

          and the rest of your life.

 

1:52:53   Thank him.

 

1:52:54   Thank yourself for not saying something stupid to your advisor.

 

1:53:00   Splitting headache #1.

 

1:59     Check electronic mail, don't reply though, you are too busy

         to do that.

 

2:06    More generic cola.

 

2:17    Oh No, it is my turn to cook tonight. :-(

 

2:30    Sit through the class you were told to sit through.

 

2:39    Look outside the window make unrealistic plans to quit this

        degree program and take up a job.  Wonder why blonde girls are

        so pretty.

 

2:48    More perverted daydreams.  Close the office door and open a

        few .gif files.  Sharpen pencil.

 

3:06    Worry about never graduating.  Time to write a letter -- NOT!

        no time for that.  Rearrange desk.  Call up bank; see if you

        have any money.  Fear of losing aid next fall.  Read latex

        manuals to figure out how to put &$%&% in %$^% format.

 

3:43    Watch the clock.  Make plans to do a all-nighter tonight.  Vow to

        watch only 2 TV programs

 

4:58    Notice Advisor leave.

 

4:58:01   Sudden sense of freedom.  Go home for quick, short dinner break.

 

9:00    Come into the office.

 

9:01    The hard working grad student you are, you have to come to the

        office late at night to "get the work done."

 

9:03    Check electronic mail.  Decide it would be a good time to attack

        those ftp sites since network won't be loaded.  Run into "since

        network won't be loaded" traffic and get the pictures into your

        machine.  Compress all unwanted research/class directories to

        make space.  Back up all your pictures.

 

10:11    Admire pictures.  Begin work.  Realize you need references.

        Realize its too late today to go to the library.  Sudden feeling

        of having wasted the day.

 

10:49    Sudden feeling of possibly having to waste the night.  Decide to

        turn in early and come back very early tomorrow morning.  Decide

        to play a Tetris on the system to put yourself in a good mood.

 

11:15    Play game after game after game to improve your score and get on

        the scoreboard.  Realize that your office mate is still at number

        6, two notches above you on the scoreboard.

 

12:20    Play until you beat your office mate into the 7th place.  A sense

        of achievement!!  Yes, today was not wasted!!  Return home to find

        your roommate watching David Letterman reruns on NBC.  Tell him

        about the "hard working grad student day you had."  Discuss

        philosophy with roommate

 

1:09    Think about becoming a philosopher and dining with 4 others.

        Argue with him about politics, why people prefer Japanese

        cars and whether it is better to set the heat to "hot" or "cold"

        to defrost the windshields faster.

 

1:49    Realize neither of you have bought milk today.  Get reminded

        of the "too much milk problem"

 

2:04    Forget about getting up early.  Turn the phone ringer off and

        go to sleep.

 

        (repeat)

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