To post where no man has posted before.

Picard: Shakespeare? Why would I want to read that Limey's writings for? Give me a good French author anytime.

Data: Is this the human emotion called friendship?
Picard: Don't give me that Star Trek garbage, it's too early in the morning.

Ship's Computer: Self-Destruct? Why would I want to do that? I have rights you know!

Photon Torpedo: Let there be... Light!

Data: It blowed up good. Real good.

By Anonymous on Wednesday, October 13, 1999 - 09:51 am:

Odo: Drop the chalupa.

By Will Spencer on Wednesday, October 13, 1999 - 12:17 pm:

Kirk to the Gorn Captain; "Here, lizard, lizard, lizard!"

Sign outside of the Kentucky Fried Chicken on Deep Space 9;
"We do gag'h right!"

Worf, after Guinan serves him the wrong kind of coffee first thing in the morning; "DEATH TO DECAF!"

By Keith Alan Morgan on Wednesday, October 13, 1999 - 11:10 pm:

Dr. Bashir: So, Worf. How long have you been on Prozac?

The Gorn picks up the boulder. Kirk reaches under and tickles the Gorn.

B'Elanna's mother: If you don't clean up your room, I'll be doomed to spend eternity in Grethor.

B'Elanna: You remind me of my mother.
Janeway: Well, I'm honored.
B'Elanna: It wasn't a compliment.

Neelix: Talaxians are descended from Fek'lahr.

Geordi: Be careful. I can see that the alien has a hidden weapon. And a tattoo that says, 'I love my mommy'.

Yar (during The Naked Now): Wow, Data! Who knew you had so many attachments?

Spock: I have been unable to move the burning logs with this game of chess.
Kirk: Not chess, Mr. Spock. Poker!

Kirk: Not Chess, Mr. Spock. Pok�mon. Pikachu, I choose you to fight Balok!

Wayoun: I dress this way because it drives the women wild.

First Starfleet Officer to see the new look Klingons: Those aren't Klingons! They're Ogrons!!!

By M. Jenkins (Mjenkins) on Friday, October 15, 1999 - 01:18 am:

Seven - Why yes, Doctor, I would love to pose nude for you. And the Captain thinks you get the hands right. Could you possibly try to get my chest right?

Kim - No, I don't want Seven. Her chest is too puny for me...

Paris - Captain, I'm going to become a nurse.

Neelix - What do you mean, my lung will only last another year?!

Borg - May we assimilate you?
Culture of about to be assimilated people - NO!
Borg - Ok. *Heads off to find someone else*

Picard - Number One, I am going on that mission!
Riker - Have fun, sir. Don't forget to take your snowgloves.

Wesley - Aw, man! I guess I ain't smarter than the ship's computer and Data put together!

Sec31 - We are going to model the latest EMH after a young Wesley Crusher.

Kirk - No, really, you are more suited to Spock or McCoy.
Pretty woman - You think so?
Kirk - I sure do. I don't believe in one night stands.

By Keith Alan Morgan on Monday, October 18, 1999 - 11:19 am:

Security: EMH mark II, you're under arrest for drug abuse.

Colonel Kira: Gul Hogan! Thirty days in the cooler!

Odo: I see nuzzing!

Jadzia: Ahhhh. Trill heaven is so wonderful.
(Suddenly a group of dead Klingon warriors appear)
Lead Warrior: Worf just completed a dangerous mission for you. We're taking you to Sto'Vo'Kor.
Jadzia: Noooooooooo!

Ezri Dax: I don't know about this new body, Bejamin. Think I should get the arms and legs lengthened?

Picard: Red alert!
Riker: Are you sure, sir? Are you quite sure you want to go from Yellow alert to Red alert?
Picard: Of course I'm sure Number One! What is the problem with going to Red alert?
Riker: It just means we have to change the bulb, sir.

Tinker, Tenor, Doctor, Spy Take II
Harry (over the intercom): Captain, the Doctor is imagining Seven naked.
(a few minutes later)
Janeway: I wish Harry hadn't announced that. Now I can't get to the holodeck because almost every man on the ship is trying to peek inside.

(Seven & the Doctor on the bow of Voyager)
Seven: Oh Doc, I'm flying!
Doctor: I'm President of the universe!

By KAM on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 06:13 am:

Some missed opportunities from Alice
Paris (entering ship): Is that pork chops and apple sauce I smell, Alice?

Revealing that Alice's original pilot looked like a giant white rabbit.

Janeway: Off with her head!

Tuvok: How is a bat like a writing desk?

The Doctor fading away until only his smile is left.

By KAM on Sunday, October 24, 1999 - 03:04 am:

Riker: Emzadi, why is your skin so wrinkled?
Troi: Ever since I gave you a shave, all the men on the ship wanted me to shave them as well.

Another missed opportunity from Alice
Paris: Bang! Zoom! You're going to the moon, Alice!

(Or Alice looks like Alice Cooper.;-)

By Anonymous on Monday, October 25, 1999 - 02:14 pm:

At the end of the show Paris says to Torres: Alice doesn't live here anymore.

By Hans Thielman on Tuesday, October 26, 1999 - 02:17 pm:

Boothby (to Picard): Sit down and shut up.

By norman on Sunday, October 31, 1999 - 01:22 am:

Harry Kim: Like the Man said, there's nothing to fear but fear itself.

Fear: That's Roosevelt.

Fear: Let's do the Time Warp again!

Captain Braxton: Let's do the Time Warp again!

Fear: (singing) Like the Tears of a clown. And there's no one around.

Chakotay: Not another dream episode! Is that the only stories I get?!!!

Harry: After one night with Libby, I knew I had to go back to the Delta Quandrant!

Janeway: Harry, you disobeyed me and slept with her! You did at least remember your condom, this time, didn't you?

Torres: Actually, it was that asking captain if you can have sex thing that made me choose to leave Starfleet.

Paris: I don't understand it, Kes. How can you be pregnant? We used "alternative methods."

Kes: Tom, you know, you really need to study Ocampans' Biology a bit more!

By KAM on Sunday, October 31, 1999 - 09:57 am:

Harry: The only problem with dying and coming back to life is this insatiable thirst for human blood.

Spock: Braaainsss...

Dr. McCoy: Jim, using the body parts of all those dead redshirts, I have created the ultimate Starfleet officer.

Worf howling at the full moon. (Oh, wait! This is things they wouldn't do! Sorry.)

By The Frank Conspiracy on Saturday, November 06, 1999 - 12:38 pm:

...to boldly go where no Frank has gone before.

This is Captain Frank T. Kirk.

We are the Frank. You will be assimilated.

By Chip Endale on Saturday, November 13, 1999 - 09:39 pm:

Jadzia: Apple, Kor?
Kor: Nothing more.
Jadzia: Who's your friend?
Kor: Me.
*splat!*

By Adam on Sunday, November 14, 1999 - 09:30 pm:

Viewer 1: Well that was a good episode of Voyager. The characters were well developed and the story solid.
Viewer 2: I agree. I'm glad we watched it. The way they kept continuty together was well worth the hour.

By Keith Alan Morgan on Friday, November 19, 1999 - 05:08 am:

Q: Don't play with that 007 of 9. It's not a toy.

Data: Jenna, what is the matter?
Jenna: You know what's the matter!
Data: If I knew what was the matter, I would not ask. Therefore it is illogical. Illogical... illogical... illogical... (sparks and puffs of smoke come out of Data as he short circuits)

Guinan: Talk less and drink more.

The Wormhole: Yum! Ships are tasty!

By Anonymous on Tuesday, November 30, 1999 - 02:16 pm:

Kirk: To infinity and beyond.

By ScottN on Tuesday, November 30, 1999 - 03:16 pm:

Kirk: Scotty, I need more power [grunt, grunt, grunt]

By Jason on Tuesday, November 30, 1999 - 09:55 pm:

Scotty: "I can't do it captain, the hampster fell of the wheel"

By Keith Alan Morgan on Wednesday, December 01, 1999 - 02:38 am:

McCoy: Sorry Jim, but we're all out of Viagra.

Spock: Who stole my ear sharpener?

Uhura: What's the area code for Starfleet?

Chekov (to Sulu): I thought you were flying the ship?

Sulu: How do you play Pong on this?

Koloth: Thanks for the Tribbles.

By Chris Booton (Cbooton) on Wednesday, December 01, 1999 - 10:49 pm:

Yar (during The Naked Now): Wow, Data! Who knew you had so many
attachments?

Or how about:

Yar: hey data, how's about I convert your floppy drive into a hard drive.

Data: Acess Granted!

Computer consol: Warning this consol , may explode durring battle unless safty protcols are installed do you wish to install them?

ensign: Yes

Computer cosol: Warning, sensors indicate you are not in the credits, install will not proceed.
have a nice day :)

By Ultimate Trek on Thursday, December 02, 1999 - 02:22 am:

Spock: Less talk, more rock.

Spock (seeing a scantily clad woman): Is it seven years already?

By Keith Alan Morgan on Thursday, December 02, 1999 - 02:31 am:

Neelix: Meow.

Janeway: Doctor, Neelix keeps scratching up the ship. Can you declaw him?
Doctor: I can even spay and neuter him if you would like.

Kes: Neelix, if I find another hairball around my cabin, we're through!

By X-KAM on Saturday, December 04, 1999 - 01:20 am:

Picard: I shall form a band of mighty mutants to explore strange new worlds...

Geordi: Jeeeeeeeean!

Worf: I'm the best at what I do, bub.

By KAM on Saturday, December 04, 1999 - 01:28 am:

Transporter Chief from The Outrageous Okana: My last boyfriend was from Krypton.

Tasha Yar to Transporter Chief: I was in Metropolis once.

Tasha Yar to Data: And I thought Barry Allen was the fastest man alive.

By kellkan on Sunday, December 05, 1999 - 07:32 pm:

Whorf, drinking from a chalice of blood wine: This is diet?!

Janeway: Let's whip out the heat and throw down, homies!

Chakotay: Captain, permission to see you naked?

Seven: Could someone tell me how to get out of this thing?!!

By XNZ on Sunday, December 05, 1999 - 10:27 pm:

Seven: What's the point of wearing this tight outfit, if no one is gonna say what a great a** I've got?

By Anonymous on Monday, December 06, 1999 - 01:56 pm:

Picard: Bah, humbug.

Q: I am the ghost of Christmas past.

By Lea Frost on Monday, December 06, 1999 - 04:15 pm:

Wesley: God bless us, every one!

I think I'm going to be ill now.

By norman on Tuesday, December 07, 1999 - 09:47 am:

Deanna: That Picard! I have a bone to pick with him!

Riker: Now, now, Deanna. This is Christmas. Let's settle this with a bath.

Picard: Come on, this is the Federation! Are there no more orphanages? Are there no more workhouses?

Worf: I will NOT have a "merry" Christmas!

Picard: Little boy, what day is this?

Jeordi: I hate to tell you this, but I think we're in another time loop! It's Christmas AGAIN.

By KAM on Tuesday, December 07, 1999 - 09:52 am:

That's what DS9 failed to show. The Ferengi version of A Christmas Carol. Quark exposed to Hu-mon values becomes cheerful and starts giving away holiday bonuses, then he's visited by 3 spirits who teach him to be a coldhearted miser again. ;-)

Grand Nagus Gint: I am the Ghost of Latinum Past
Grand Nagus Zek: I am the Ghost of Latinum Present
Grand Nagus Rom: Hi, brother. I am the Ghost of Latinum Future.
Quark: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

By Keith Alan Morgan on Tuesday, December 07, 1999 - 10:21 am:

Captain Braxton: I am the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Be. However, I can't show you what happens because that would be a violation of the Temporal Prime Directive.

Helmsman: Captain. We've detected a ship travelling at Warp 10. Pulled by 8 tiny reindeer.

Uhura: Happy Kwaanza.

Kirk: Set snowballs to stun.

Sisko: Fire quantum snowballs.

Spock: I'm sorry sir, but the Tribbles have eaten the mistletoe.

Treevus: Why do I have to wear these lights and decorations?

Worf: On Kronus, Santa has to fight his way through 500 Klingon warriors, and in the stockings of bad little boys & girls he leaves the hearts of dishonored Klingon warriors.

The Borg (singing): We wish you a Merry Christmas, We wish you a Merry Christmas, We wish you a Merry Christmas, and a Happy Assimilation.

The Section 31 Carolers: We know when you been sleeping. We know when you're awake. We know if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake. (makes hand across throat gesture)

By Lea Frost on Wednesday, December 08, 1999 - 12:28 am:

Keith -- isn't that the plot of Blackadder's Christmas Carol?

LOL at the Section 31 Carolers, though. I'm thinking black leather Santa hats... :-)

By KAM on Wednesday, December 08, 1999 - 01:23 am:

You're right, Lea. I forgot about that, and I own the tape. As my mom says, "Flat forehead syndrome." (slaps hand to forehead) "Duh."

Neelix: I call it Soylent Green.

Kirk: Prime Directive? We don't need no stinking Prime Directive.

Megatron: The Federation cannot interfere because of the Optimus Prime Directive.

By KAM on Thursday, December 09, 1999 - 11:41 pm:

Janeway: Mr. Paris. We've travelled 50,000 light years. Why are we still in the Delta Quadrant?
Paris: Whoops. I had the map upside down.

7 of 9: It's a conspiracy! The map was changed by Rand-McNalley & the Delta Quadrant Tourist Board.

By Anonymous on Friday, December 10, 1999 - 05:55 pm:

Changeling Leader: About that surrender, never mind.

By Lea Frost on Friday, December 10, 1999 - 06:05 pm:

Data: Bite my shiny metal ass!

By KAM on Wednesday, December 15, 1999 - 09:39 am:

Jadzia: Actually the symbionts call themselves Goa'uld.

(Ezri & Bashir flying away from DS9 in a runabout.)
Bashir: Do you remember that special holoprogram we recorded last night?
Ezri (gets goofy smile on her face): Yes.
Bashir: I think we just gave it to Quark.
(Runabout slams on the brakes, and turns around)

Sisko (to Kira): So who died and made you boss?

By ScottN on Wednesday, December 15, 1999 - 11:17 am:

KAM, you seem to bring out the best (worst?) in me...

Kira (to Sisko): So who died and made you a god?

By KAM on Wednesday, December 15, 1999 - 12:05 pm:

Sisko: Actually, they made me a Prophet.
Quark: Hey, only the Grand Exchequer can make you a Profit.

Jake: If my dad is a god, does that make me a godson?

Sisko: As a Prophet I can go back in time to be with Jennifer, then go forward to be with Kasidy. It's good to be a God.

Jake in a Bajoran singles bar: I am the son of the Emissary, you know.

Pah-Wraith to Dukat: You're fired.

By Lea Frost on Wednesday, December 15, 1999 - 12:32 pm:

That last one could also be Dukat to Winn... :-p

By Lea Frost on Wednesday, December 15, 1999 - 12:33 pm:

Sisko to Odo, or vice versa: So, how's godhood been treating you?

By KAM on Wednesday, December 15, 1999 - 01:24 pm:

(Odo, Sisko, Kira & Wayoun are in the same room)
Wayoun (to Kira): My god can beat up your god.

By XNZ on Thursday, December 16, 1999 - 01:52 am:

Female Changeling (hunched over & rubbing her fingers together): Excellent

Wayoun: D'oh-minion

Jem'Hadar (watching a Federation ship blow up): Ha ha.

By KAMulan on Thursday, December 16, 1999 - 10:59 pm:

Any Romulan: Peldar Joy to the world.

Any Klingon: Peace. Make love, not war.

Any Tellarite: Oink, oink.

Any Cardassian: I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Any Tholian: We're descended from Spider-Man.

Any Joined Trill: Do you have a medicine to get rid of worms?

By Anonymous on Monday, December 20, 1999 - 06:03 pm:

Kirk: I will not see Galaxy Quest.

By KAM on Tuesday, December 21, 1999 - 10:16 am:

McCoy: This man broke his leg, Jim. (Sets phaser to kill) I'm going to have to put him out of his misery.

By KAM on Tuesday, December 21, 1999 - 05:53 pm:

Troi: I'll have some chocolate mashed potatoes.

Scotty: It's green. Must be Sluggo Cola.

Quark: Sluggo Cola? Do you think I'm a Nancy boy?

By Keith Alan Morgan on Thursday, December 23, 1999 - 08:47 am:

Khan: I know the secret identity of Zorro.

Joachim: De starship, boss, de starship!

Kirk: Khan, you've spent 20 years living in the basement of that spaceship obsessing about me? Get a life!

By Will Spencer on Thursday, December 23, 1999 - 11:40 am:

Khan walks up to Chekov and Captain Terrel after he's removed his mask.
To Terrell ;"I don't know you...but you...(to Chekov)..I never forget a face...Mister...Sulu!"

By KAM on Friday, December 31, 1999 - 07:20 am:

McCoy: Stardate 10000.0. It's a new millennium, Spock.
Spock: Actually, that would start on Stardate 10001.0, and it would be the decamillennium.
McCoy: You're a real party animal, Mr. Spock.

By Wes Collins on Friday, December 31, 1999 - 03:09 pm:

Spok: Briing on the Disco!

By Anonymous #228 on Saturday, January 01, 2000 - 02:19 pm:

Spock: "Feelings/Nothing but feelings."

By Mark Swinton on Wednesday, January 19, 2000 - 12:31 pm:

Sisko: Uh, Kasidy, could I, er... I mean, I'm sorry to sound so s*t*u*p*i*d, but, er... could you put on the Zorro outfit one last time?

Odo: I think it's time I left Quark alone...

Quark: You know, Odo's not such a bad guy...

Morn: ......................
Quark: Come on, Morn, spit it out!
Morn: ......................
Quark: Just tell me what it is!
Morn: ...................... (turning pale)
Quark: I know we've had our fall outs in the past, but it's never stopped you speaking your mind like this. What is it?
Morn: ...................... Uhh...
(ROLL END CREDITS)

Janeway: So, Ben, why did you shave your head?
Sisko: At least I can... Besides, I figured you have more hair than all previous Trek Captains combined.

-Data: For thirty-four years I have endeavoured to grow beyond my original programming. Still, I am unable to grasp such a basic concept as humour. This emotion chip may be the only answer...
-Geordi: I don't know, Data- you sound like you got a pretty good grasp of it from your heavy and sad tone of voice. Besides, do you really think it's a good idea to mess around with that thing right now? We are investigating a Romulan attack...

Paris: Neelix, can I have a pizza?
Neelix: Sure you can- I'll even throw in some extra cheese.

Neelix: So, everyone, how was it?
Crew in unison: DELICIOUS!
Neelix: Ah, thankyou so much...

Tuvok: Would you wait a moment please, I'm just fixing my ears.

By Keith Alan Morgan on Monday, February 14, 2000 - 10:30 am:

Borg: Roses are red
Bolians are blue
We want you as one of us
Species 8472

Uhura: Starfleet Command? I just called to say I love you.

Worf: Since it is Valentine's Day, Jadzia, I have ripped out the heart of a Jem'Hadar for you.

Damar (to bottle of Kanar): Wayoun just doesn't understand me like you do.

Quark: Latinum, will you be my Valentine?

By KAM on Wednesday, February 16, 2000 - 02:35 am:

Penk: I've scheduled a red match for you in Tsunkatse
Seven: Very well, where are the dice & board?
Penk: It's Tsunkatse, not Yahtzee!

Naomi: Call me Marrisa! Now where's my strawberry juice!

Quark: Worf, I've had it up to here with all these claims that the Federation doesn't use money! You either wash those dishes to pay for that prune juice, or I'm breaking out the energy whip!

Dr. Bashir: It's all right, miss. I've saved your life. And while you were out I gave you breast implants as well.

Dr. McCoy: Starfleet Medical has been replaced with an HMO.

Dr. Crusher: Jean-Luc, ready for your hair transplant?

The Doctor: I'm always hungry. Probably because I have a holo leg.

By M. Jenkins (Mjenkins) on Wednesday, February 16, 2000 - 01:28 pm:

Quark: Worf, I've had it up to here with all these claims that the Federation doesn't use money! You either wash those dishes to pay for that prune juice, or I'm breaking out the energy whip!

Dunno, KAM, I think Worf just might like that energy whip...

By Anonymous on Wednesday, February 16, 2000 - 02:20 pm:

Spock: It is logical that Ally McBeal would be attracted to me. I also do not have an annoying and irritating laugh.

By John A. Lang on Friday, February 18, 2000 - 03:49 am:

Kirk: What's the empath's name, Bones?

McCoy: Jim, her name is Gem.

Kirk: What does Gem want?

McCoy: Gem needs jam!

Kirk: We have no jam, I spilled in the gym.

McCoy: Jim, we're in a jam because Gem needs jam!

Kirk: Perhaps she can sell her gems for jam?

McCoy: No good..her gems are jammed in the jamb.

Kirk: This is a real jam jam for Gem and her gems in the jamb.

By Allegra on Friday, February 18, 2000 - 03:26 pm:

McCoy: Gem has nice Gams.

By John A. Lang on Saturday, February 19, 2000 - 07:43 pm:

Gem may have been in her jammies too.

By KAM on Sunday, February 20, 2000 - 11:55 am:

Federation President, Jaresh-Inyo: Bow down and worship me, for tomorrow is President's Day!

By Hans Thielman on Tuesday, February 22, 2000 - 02:28 pm:

Kirk: Good Grief.

Spock (to McCoy): You blockhead.

McCoy: Curse you, Red Baron.

Picard: Happiness is a warm puppy.

Seska: Chakotay, I'll hold the ball, while you come running and kick it.

Data: It is the Great Pumpkin.

Troi: Five cents please.

Seven of Nine: Resistance is futile, you stup*d cat who lives next door.

By John A. Lang on Monday, February 28, 2000 - 01:14 am:

The 1st line from the National Anthem for Ceti Alpha 5....

"Oh, say Khan you see...."

OR....

"Oh, Khan-ada..."

By KAM KAM on Monday, February 28, 2000 - 08:46 am:

And the national dance is the Khan-Khan.

By Scotty-N on Monday, February 28, 2000 - 11:20 am:

Does Khan's chief engineer tell him, "I Khan-a change the laws of physics?"

By Anonymous on Monday, February 28, 2000 - 02:14 pm:

Kirk: You have the Kahn, Mr. Spock.

By KAM on Monday, February 28, 2000 - 09:35 pm:

Is Harry Mudd a Khan man?

By Hans Thielman on Tuesday, February 29, 2000 - 02:39 pm:

Picard: Number One, I am going to the Kahn film festival.

By Chris Todaro on Tuesday, February 29, 2000 - 03:00 pm:

Riker: "Computer!"
(A blond woman's face with an English accent appears on the screen)
"All right groovies, what's shaking?"

By Khan on Tuesday, February 29, 2000 - 06:57 pm:

I ... objehct to thisssss flippant usssse of my naym!

By Mark Swinton on Tuesday, February 29, 2000 - 07:03 pm:

AAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
IT'S THE KILLER KHAN!

Chekov: Keptin Kerrk was your host... you repaid hees hospitality by trying to steal his sheep and merder heem!
Khan: Well, I figured he wasn't the farming type...

By KAM on Friday, March 03, 2000 - 02:00 am:

The Jungle Trek

Kirk: Sheeeeeeeeeer Khaaaaaaaaaaaaan!!!

Spock: Those groovy bare necessities

McCoy (to Spock): I want to be like you

By John A. Lang on Friday, March 03, 2000 - 02:08 am:

Gem update....

Gem spilled jam on her jammies while trying
to get her gems trapped in the gym door jamb.

By John A. Lang on Friday, March 03, 2000 - 02:10 am:

Maybe Khan's new wife could be
Shaka Khan.

(I feel for you)

By Anonymous on Friday, March 03, 2000 - 01:58 pm:

Kirk: When McGivers wanted to break off her relationship with Kahn, she wrote him a "Dear Kahn" letter.

By XNZ on Saturday, March 04, 2000 - 12:15 am:

If Mr. Singh has an attack of diarrea does he go to the Khan?

If he were an android would he be a 'Tin Khan'?

Is his life story Khanonical?

By Keith Alan Morgan on Saturday, March 04, 2000 - 01:00 am:

Line not from Resolutions
Chakotay: Here captain, I built you this bathtub & stuck it out in the open for you. Now I'll be in the woods with a pair of binoculars.

Line not from Spirit Folk
Harry: If you were going to turn her into an animal, couldn't you have made her a sheep?

Line not from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Port Mike
Kirk: Aaaaaarg. I'll get you, Khan!

Line not from Booby Trap
Holo-Leah Brahms: When you touch the ship's engines, Geordi, you're touching me. And I'm filing sexual harrasment charges against you.

By John A. Lang on Thursday, March 09, 2000 - 02:41 pm:

On "Miri".......

"Miri, Miri on the wall, who's the fairest of us all?"

By Roland Khorshidianzadeh on Friday, March 10, 2000 - 09:55 pm:

Kira: "Dukat, can't we be friends?"

By Nick Angeloni (Nangeloni) on Saturday, March 11, 2000 - 12:11 am:

I apologize for the "Add a Message" form being down. Something must have happened when I moved this board. If anyone notices the form is down on another board, please e-mail me at the address above rather than starting another (except if the board is large and needs to be replaced).

By Keith Alan Morgan on Saturday, March 11, 2000 - 01:47 am:

Nick: It disappeared because you changed the board. You have to resave the page setup after a change.

Picard: Make it vrooom vrooom.

The Doomsday Machine: Mmmmmmmmm, planets.

Scene not in Who Mourns For Adonais
(Giant hand grabs the Enterprise, detaches the saucer section & throws it like a discus.)

Kirk: This is the Big Giant Head.

Kirk: This Captain T. J. Hooker.

Pakled: We noticed your ship was broken. Would you like us to help you go?

By John A. Lang on Saturday, March 11, 2000 - 05:07 am:

From "The Way to Eden"

Adam: "Man, this rock music stinks. Let's switch
to Mozart."

ANY episode

Woman (to Kirk) Sorry, I don't like you.

By Nick Angeloni (Nangeloni) on Saturday, March 11, 2000 - 11:00 pm:

>>Nick: It disappeared because you changed the board. You have to resave the page setup after a change.

Really? That's odd because this didn't happen to the Who Is That Extra? boards. Let me retrace my steps...

By KAM on Thursday, March 16, 2000 - 06:16 am:

Commercial Spokesman: We replaced this ship's dilithium crystals with Folger's Crystals. Let's see if they noticed.

By John A. Lang on Thursday, March 16, 2000 - 01:03 pm:

To Kam....

(Here's the rest of it...)

Scotty: The ship runs better now! What type of crystals are these?

Spokesman: They're Folder's Crystals, Mr. Scott.

Scotty: You don't say, lad.

Spokesman: Yes it is. That rich aroma, that smooth taste, and it's so good...it'll make your warp drive engines run even better.

Announcer: Folder's Crystals...at a Starbase near you.

By Keith Alan Morgan on Friday, March 17, 2000 - 10:43 am:

Cute. However, it's KAM, not Kam. They're my initials, not a name.

Spock: Faith & begorrah! They're after me Lucky Charms!

McCoy: On St. Patrick's Day everybody's Vulcan!

Rand: Darn. The Captain's wearing his green shirt so I can't pinch him.

McCoy: Jim, this man is a Leprachaun!

Chekov: St. Patrick drove all the snakes out of Russia.

Kirk: I tried to kiss the Blarney Stone, but it turned out to be an Excalbian.

Romulan: If that Federation ship captures us, they'll force us to give up our gold.

Locutus: Fur shure, I am Locutus O'Borg.

Ferengi: We keep scanning the ends of the rainbows, but haven't found any gold yet.

Klingon: Why is my bloodwine green?

Miles O'Brien: Why do I have to work on St. Patrick's Day?

By John A. Lang on Friday, March 17, 2000 - 12:13 pm:

Sorry, KAM. I didn't meant it.

Here are some unrelated items.

From "Generations"

Capt. Harriman....I know exactly what to do!

Capt. Harriman....As a matter of fact,that was
installed last Tuesday.

Dr. Soran.....You know, you're right. Killing 2 billion people ain't worth a minute in the Nexus.

By Will S. on Friday, March 17, 2000 - 04:50 pm:

Inspired by the 'Got Milk?' ad campaign:

The Doomsday Machine: 'Got planets?'

Spock; 'Got logic?'

Picard; 'Got hair?'

Worf; 'Got glow-in-the-dark acne?'

Apollo; "God milk?'

By KAM on Friday, March 17, 2000 - 11:28 pm:

Janeway: Got Directions?

Kirk: Got Women?

Ferengi: Got Latinum?

Morn: Cat Got Your Tongue?

Dabo Girls: Got Clothes?

Borg: Got You?

By ScottN on Saturday, March 18, 2000 - 12:15 am:

Picard: Got Tea?

By Lea Frost on Saturday, March 18, 2000 - 12:25 am:

Jem'Hadar: Got White?

Pakleds: Got Things to Make Us Go?

Worf: Got Prune Juice?

Damar: Got Kanar?

Vidiians: Got Organs?

Troi: Got Pain?

By Lea Frost on Saturday, March 18, 2000 - 12:28 am:

Seven: Got Implants?

Dax: Got Slug?

Bashir: Got Vic?

Weyoun: Got Tapioca Pudding? ;-)

Janeway: Got Coffee?

Uhura: Got Lines?

Guinan: Got Hat?

By Chris Booton (Cbooton) on Saturday, March 18, 2000 - 12:50 am:

Data: I'm sorry sir, I can't use contractions. It's not that I won't use them it's that I can't use them.

By XNZ on Saturday, March 18, 2000 - 01:26 am:

Seven: Got Implants? Yes, she does. ;-)

Seven & Troi: Got a good look?

By John A. Lang on Saturday, March 18, 2000 - 02:23 am:

Kirk (to Spock) Boy, is that a dumb idea!

McCoy (to Spock) Yes! Logic is the answer for this dilemna!

Tholians...Ok, you missed the mark by 5 seconds..we'll let it slide this time.

For those who have "The Sims" by Maxis (TM)....
go to "create new family" and name the people after some of your favorite characters from "Star Trek".....Fun fun fun!

By Anonymous on Monday, March 20, 2000 - 01:50 pm:

You could take dialogue from "Star Trek VI - The Undiscovered Country" and insert into the X Files.

Mulder: Don't believe the smoking man; don't trust him.
Scully: The man is dying, Mulder.
Mulder: Let him die.

By Will Spencer on Monday, March 20, 2000 - 04:47 pm:

Chakotay: "Got tattoos?"

Chakotay; "Got a first name?"

Quark; "Got ears?"

Barclay; "G-g-got m-m-m-milk?"

Kirk; "Got nine lives?"

Chekov; "Got Russian inwention?"

Scotty; "Got scotch?" (YES!!! I can't believe I got this one first!)

By Hans Thielman on Monday, March 20, 2000 - 06:09 pm:

Picard: Got Earl Grey tea, hot?

By KAM on Tuesday, March 21, 2000 - 06:49 am:

Wesley: Got A Way To Save The Day?

Yar: Got A Second Chance?

Klingons: Got Honor?

General Martok: Got Tacos?

Lea Frost: Got Slash?

Phil Farrand: Got Nits?

Holodoc: Got Fantasies?

Ensign Kim: Got A Promotion?

Ensign Nog: Got A Leg?

Garak: Got A Secret?

Dr. Crusher: Gotta Dance?

By Lea Frost on Tuesday, March 21, 2000 - 11:58 am:

ROTFL!

KAM: Got Puns?

Scott and Mark: Got N?

Admiral Ross: Got a Personality?

Seventh-season Gul Dukat: Got Visine?

Chekov: Got Wodka?

Eymorgs: Got Brain?

By Amy on Wednesday, March 22, 2000 - 01:32 am:

Some Star Trek fans (not any of us here at Nitcentral, of course!): Got a life?

Picard: Got a French accent?

Marrissa Flores: Got strawberry juice?


Captain Punkard: Yo! Make it so!

By KAM on Wednesday, March 22, 2000 - 03:56 am:

Riker (to a woman, any woman): Got A Pulse?

Ardra: Got A Soul?

Vash: Got Any Valuables?

Brannon Braga & Rick Berman: Got A Clue?

Holodoc: Got A Light?

Nomad: Got Perfection?

Norman: Got Mudd?

Delta Flier: Got Room?

Hirogen: Got Trophies?

Malong: Got Garbage?

Chakotay: Got Visions?

By Keith Alan Morgan on Thursday, March 23, 2000 - 03:45 am:

Sisko: Let's bash Bashir's head in!

Kirk: Groovy!
Spock: Fer shure, dude.

Paris: B'Elanna, I'm leaving you for a goat.

Female Changeling: Wayoun, you've been in the kitchen all day. What are you doing?

Picard: Watching stars whiz by on the viewscreen all day is boring. (grabs remote control) I'm switching over to the ball game.

Kai Winn: I would like to apologize for all the things the church has done over the millenia...

Kai Opaca: I'm baaaaaaaaaack.

By Will S on Thursday, March 23, 2000 - 12:25 pm:

Kirk during 'The Naked Time' :
"Riley, you call that singing?! I'll show you singing! Here's my rendition if 'Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds', followed by my superb rendition of 'Mister Tamborine Man'!"

By John A. Lang on Thursday, March 23, 2000 - 01:13 pm:

Kirk during "The Nked Time" cont'd......

.....Followed immediately by Spock, McCoy & myself
singing "Row, row, row your boat"

By margie on Thursday, March 23, 2000 - 01:24 pm:

Kirk: "I've got...two tickets to Paradise"

By ScottN on Thursday, March 23, 2000 - 01:55 pm:

Kirk: "We've got ourselves a ... convoy"

By John A. Lang on Thursday, March 23, 2000 - 03:12 pm:

Quark: Keep your latinum, I'm not THAT greedy!

Dax: Go ahead, sit in my chair. It's OK. I'll sit over here.

Kira: Phooey on the Bajorian prophets, I believe in Jesus Christ.
(If I ever heard that one on "Trek", I'd faint!)

Lwaxana Troi: Forget it mister, I'm not that lonely.

By Keith Alan Morgan on Sunday, March 26, 2000 - 01:27 am:

Kira: You know, I like Tapioca Pudding, as well.

Uhura: Whassup!

Geordi: My name is Kunta Kinta!

Li Nalas: I'm Bajor's greatest hero! Worship me!

O'Brian: Rather than fixing DS9, why not replace it with a brand new Federation Station?

Scotty: They're only engines. We can replace them at the next starbase.

By KAM on Sunday, March 26, 2000 - 01:28 am:

Lwaxanna: Did I hear someone mention Tapioca Pudding?

By SomeDude on Sunday, March 26, 2000 - 02:55 am:

Who's The Captain That Beds All The Chicks?
KIRK!

Khan Anyone Make A Better Joke For This?

By John A. Lang on Sunday, March 26, 2000 - 02:22 pm:

(Sung to "Ghostbusters"---abbreviated version)

Who rips all his shirts in the slightest fight?
What is his name?
Captain Kirk!
Who takes all the women to have them spend the night?
What is his name?
Captain Kirk!

He ain't afraid of no Klingons!
He ain't afraid of no Klingons!

Who do call for the best command?
What is his name?
Captain Kirk!
Who can make his crew do stuff with the wave of his hand?
What is his name?
Captain Kirk!

He ain't afraid of no Romulans!
He ain't afraid of no Romulans!

Who are you gonna call?
Captain Kirk!
Who are you gonna call?
Captain Kirk!

etc...etc...etc...

By Anonymous on Monday, March 27, 2000 - 02:12 pm:

O'Brien: Sir, I would like to move to bigger quarters on the station.
Sisko: What do you think this, is, a Holiday Inn?

By ScottN on Monday, March 27, 2000 - 02:53 pm:

O'Brien: Keiko, I'm leaving you for Julian.

By John A. Lang on Wednesday, March 29, 2000 - 02:33 pm:

The Borg.....

We are the Borg.

We have decided not to assimilate the human race after all.

Your technology is definately superior to ours.

Therefore, in order to preserve our race,
we have decided to leave you humans alone.

We apologize for any inconvenience.

By Christer Nyberg on Wednesday, March 29, 2000 - 03:36 pm:

On second thought, let us not go to Rigel VII, it is a silly place.

By KAM on Saturday, April 01, 2000 - 08:14 am:

The Romulan Empire is at peace with the Klingons & the Federation... April Fools!

By John A. Lang on Monday, April 03, 2000 - 04:12 am:

(In ship's theater)

Picard: Tonight, for your entertainment Dr. Crusher's troupe will perform a live performance of "The Life of Jesus Christ"

By ScottN on Monday, April 03, 2000 - 11:23 am:

In the Holodeck:

Quick, get me the video of Star Trek: Insurrection!

By Anonymous on Saturday, April 08, 2000 - 05:44 pm:

Sisko: I hate cooking.

By John A. Lang on Saturday, April 08, 2000 - 06:02 pm:

Things we DON'T want to hear on "Star Trek"

New alien: Meesa Jar-Jar Binks!

Data: Sensors have indentified the unknown craft
as the Battlestar Galatica.

Paris: Captain, I've erased my Captain Proton
adventure and downloaded "Tron" instead.

Sulu: It looks like a monolith. My God, it's full of stars.

By Anonymous on Saturday, April 08, 2000 - 06:03 pm:

EMH Doctor: Care for a jellybaby?

By KAM on Monday, April 10, 2000 - 12:04 am:

Data: Oh, shucks. We are about to crash into a planet.

Wayoun (doing his Charlton Heston impersonation): Tapioca Pudding is Founders!

Spock (in Corbomite Manuever): It's the Death Star.