| By ScottN on Wednesday, March 17, 1999 - 04:42 pm: |
This is related to the MiSTings board, but it isn't really a MiSTing...
McCoy: This man is alive, Jim!
McCoy: Well as a matter of fact, I am a bricklayer.
Scotty: Aye, Cap'n, I can give ye warp power in 5 minutes, no problem!
Chekov: No, that was not inwented in Russia.
| By ScottN on Wednesday, March 17, 1999 - 04:42 pm: |
And yes, the misspelling of Chekov's line is deliberate.
| By Matthew Patterson on Wednesday, March 17, 1999 - 07:35 pm: |
Seven: The Borg do not have a magic technological fix for this situation.
Picard: Full speed ahead, •••• the photon torpedoes!
Data: I'm not sure if we're able to do this. It doesn't seem to fall within the accaptable stress limits set for the Enterprise's hull.
Wesley: I have no idea what to do.
Odo: There's always room for Jell-o!
| By Spockania on Wednesday, March 17, 1999 - 07:50 pm: |
Spock: I am quite bored, Jim. This is very dull.
Scott: It's broken, Captain, and I can't fix it.
Kirk: Uhura, you have the Conn.
Picard: My favorite negotiating tool is a phaser.
| By dwmarch on Wednesday, March 17, 1999 - 10:09 pm: |
Sisko: Yes Admiral, that sounds perfectly acceptable to me!
| By Matthew Patterson on Wednesday, March 17, 1999 - 10:38 pm: |
The Doctor (when first activated): What the h*ll do you want this time?!
Kes: Saying "activate emergency medical holographic program" got to be sort of a mouthful, so I just rigged him to "The Clapper."
Seven of Nine: Captain Janeway, we are in full and total agreement.
Uhura: Someone else get that, will you?
Locutus of Borg (to a replicator): Lubricant. Pennzoil. Steaming.
Locutus again: I am Locutus of Borg. Have you considered buying a Pontiac?
| By Dan R. on Wednesday, March 17, 1999 - 11:16 pm: |
Garak: Actually I really was a gardner...not a spy or anything like that...I'm really Boothby dressed as a Cardassian....
Troi: The angry alien is actually thinking "Does Romulan ale come from squeezing dead Romulans?" (Troi stating the not so obvious)
Neelix: Flotter is based on a 20th century creature called a "Teletubbie"...
Quark: Hey Worf! Wanna know what humans use Prune Juice for???
Worf: Awwww! Ain't that pretty? (as the defiant studies a nebular or something)
Janeway: Nah, I don't need any coffee....
Spock: Feelings....nothing more than feelings.....
| By Adam Howarter on Wednesday, March 17, 1999 - 11:24 pm: |
Kirk: Wait a minute guys, we can't go down there. The prime directive clearly applies here.
Riker: (as ship gets knocked around by the Borg) Gee. It sure would be nice if I still had the power of Q, but SOMEBODY made me give it back...
Troi: The anti-matter tanks are failing. I'll redirect power from the SIF and the lateral sensor array to buy us some time. But if we don't stop that plasma venting out of the starboard nacelle containment will fail totally within the hour.
Spock: Well thats not very interesting.
Janeway: Oh who cares about that class 5 gas cload, we're sixty years from home. If we stop at every gas cload we'd never get home. Do a sensor sweep as we pass by and starfleet can do whatever they want with the data when we get home.
Ezri: Ben... I just realised. I'm filler. TPTB needed another character so they pulled me out of their ***. I have no purpose except to appease the masses.
Tasha: Oh Worf, you're such a nice guy for betting on me. How about if after we rescue the space cheerleader we go get dinner.
Data: I fooled you all! Acually I'm Lore! In "brothers" I switched our uniforms...and our bodies!! Ha ha ha, how I'm going to take all the information I've gathered and become leader of a Pak'led/Borg alliance. Our motto will be "it is broken, we will assimilate it."
| By Todd Pence on Thursday, March 18, 1999 - 12:10 am: |
Kirk: You know, Spock, maybe these people are better off with a computer running their world.
McCoy:This is no time to be emotional! Logic is the answer!
Redshirted security guard: Sir, that was close! I could have been killed!
| By Hans Thielman on Thursday, March 18, 1999 - 12:03 pm: |
Picard: Don't make it so.
Troi: I hate chocolate.
Worf: It is a good day to live.
| By norman on Thursday, March 18, 1999 - 01:43 pm: |
Crusher: Oh, just let them all die. We have to hold up to the principles of the Prime Directive.
Quark: Since that "incident", I've been wearing pink lingerie underneath my garments.
Ezri: Benjamin, if you call me "Old Man" one more time . . .
Janeway: Ensign Kim, this is a Bridge Meeting! For the last time, will you please wait outside until we're done talking!
Guinan: I'm sorry, what were you saying?
Kirk: What ever happened to that gorgeous first officer of mine, Miss Chapel?
Geordi: I can see! I can see!
O'Brien: Actually I've been the Paradas' Replicant all these years. You killed the real one years ago.
"Demon" Tom Paris: Why does my face look so good while everyone else is falling apart? Well, in my memory there was this "Going Faster Than Warp" incident . . . and since then I've been using cosmetic surgery.
Female Changeling: Odo, all you had to do was ask us to leave the Alpha Quadrant.
| By Lea Frost on Thursday, March 18, 1999 - 01:53 pm: |
Riker: I respect you too much to ruin our relationship by having a one-night stand.
Bashir: Maybe instead of going to the holosuites I'll just read a book.
Uhura: (anything other than "Hailing frequencies open")
Morn: (anything at all)
| By Todd Pence on Thursday, March 18, 1999 - 03:59 pm: |
Yeoman Janice Rand: Sir, you can get your own coffee. I'm not a waitress.
| By Brad W. Higgins on Thursday, March 18, 1999 - 04:01 pm: |
Worf (clearly whining): Owww! Captain Sisko, Jadzia just hit me! Make her stop!
| By Todd Pence on Thursday, March 18, 1999 - 04:19 pm: |
Picard: Q! It's great to see you again!
| By Charles Cabe (Ccabe) on Thursday, March 18, 1999 - 04:56 pm: |
Quark: Bring me a root beer and pancakes.
McCoy: I am a moonshuttle conductor, and a bricklayer, too.
McCoy: Higly illogial, Mr. Spock.
Rand: Hi, Mr. Chekov.
>Redshirted security guard: Sir, that was close! I could have been killed!>
Actually, a similar incident happened to Lt. Shea in a TOS episode.
| By J. Robinson Mead on Thursday, March 18, 1999 - 05:48 pm: |
Data (to Worf): Have you noticed how your boobs have started firming up?
-- Oh wait, he did say that.
| By Todd Pence on Thursday, March 18, 1999 - 06:41 pm: |
Picard: THERE . . . ARE . . . FIVE . . . LIGHTS!
| By ScottN on Thursday, March 18, 1999 - 07:59 pm: |
Q: I find it rather easy to work in groups.
| By ScottN on Thursday, March 18, 1999 - 08:00 pm: |
Data: I don't find this intriguing at all.
The Borg: Resistance just might work.
The Pakled: We are smarter than you. We will make you go.
| By ScottN on Thursday, March 18, 1999 - 08:02 pm: |
Picard: Disengage!
Picard: Don't make it so!
Worf: Let's sneak up and stab this guy in the back.
Troi: I don't sense hostility.
| By ScottN on Thursday, March 18, 1999 - 08:02 pm: |
Spock: No, Captain, I don't know the odds, and I don't want to calculate them.
| By Matthew Patterson on Thursday, March 18, 1999 - 08:44 pm: |
Troi: Captain, I sense nothing out of the ordinary!
Pike: Can someone get ma an AC adapter?
| By Spockania on Thursday, March 18, 1999 - 11:44 pm: |
Sloan: Section 31 isn't a Federation organization. We really work for Microsoft.
| By Anonymous on Friday, March 19, 1999 - 04:19 pm: |
Kira: I love you, too, Dukat, and yes, I will marry you.
| By David Rod on Saturday, March 20, 1999 - 05:15 am: |
Chekov: "So THATS what a comb is for!"
7 of 9: "Doctor, ratings are dropping, quick,
break out the silicone injector!"
Riker: "Deanna your bunny suit is uncalled for, I
want you in standard uniform immediately!"
Voyager: "Tonight on UPN, the crew finally comes
home! Really. This time we mean it!"
| By D.K. Henderson on Saturday, March 20, 1999 - 07:33 am: |
Intendant Kira: "I'm going to start practicing abstinence. And have a nice day!"
| By Keith Alan Morgan on Saturday, March 20, 1999 - 07:51 am: |
Picard singing Hair
| By Keith Alan Morgan on Saturday, March 20, 1999 - 09:15 am: |
Riker: I love you for your mind.
Worf: Bath time! Yippee!
Dr. Crusher: Eeeew, yuck!
Data: Hey! I've been in Starfleet longer than everyone, except baldy, so why am I only a Lt. Commander?
Any Designated Cabbagehead: Why am I explaining something that everybody knows?
Tuvok: Captain. Sensors detect we are being monitored.
Janeway: Good! We need the ratings.
Harry Kim: I'm a graduate of Starfleet Academy. Why am I a lower rank than B'Elanna who quit?
Transporter Chief: Naomi Wildman is still on the planet.
Janeway: Engage. Warp 9.
Kes: I'm back!
| By Keith Alan Morgan on Saturday, March 20, 1999 - 09:19 am: |
Anybody: What's with all these 47s?
| By Hans Thielman on Saturday, March 20, 1999 - 01:18 pm: |
Picard (to Computer): I said I wanted coffee, not Earl Grey Tea.
Sisko (to Senior Staff): Who put this baseball on my desk? If there is anything I can't stand, it's baseball.
Guinan (to Q): Welcome to Ten Forward. What's your pleasure?
Worf (to Jadzia or Ezri): Thank you very much for giving me a tribble for my birthday.
| By Meg on Sunday, March 21, 1999 - 11:14 am: |
Dukat: No it was my fault that countless Bajorans died in the occupation, and I did kill Jadzia, not some Pah-wraith that possesed me.
| By Charles Cabe (Ccabe) on Sunday, March 21, 1999 - 01:46 pm: |
Worf: I love you, Ezri.
Ezri: Shut up, you fuzzy-headed, scruffy looking nerf herder!
Morn: No, I don't want to talk about my 17 brothers and sisters. Shut up, You talk too much, Garak.
| By cableface on Sunday, March 21, 1999 - 03:03 pm: |
Chakotay:No actually, I don't have an old story that fits this exact situation.
Janeway:Everybody look out the window.It's earth.
Anybody:Well, holodecks are always putting us in danger.maybe we should stop using them.
Joseph Sisko:We're closed.Go to the McDonald's down the road.
7of9:Maybe I'll wear something baggy today.
Wesley:Look, you went to the academy for years, you're supposed to know how to fix these things.
| By cableface on Sunday, March 21, 1999 - 03:07 pm: |
Spock:Anybody think I should spike my hair?
Picard:Hey everybody.What do you think of my hair implants?
| By Adam Howarter on Sunday, March 21, 1999 - 10:43 pm: |
Kirk: Wrong! Jackson Roy Kirk was your creator. You've made a mistake, and you didn't catch it. You've made two mistakes.
Nomad: This unit is imperfect. It must be sterilized. On the other hand if this unit just kills you all, no one will ever know it made a mistake...
| By Electron on Monday, March 22, 1999 - 03:50 pm: |
Dr. McCoy : You're bald, Jim.
| By Anonymous on Wednesday, March 24, 1999 - 12:20 pm: |
Holodoctor: I already know the nature of the medical emergency, so you don't have to state it to me.
| By Hans Thielman on Wednesday, March 24, 1999 - 05:46 pm: |
Starling: 29th Century technology, who needs it?
Kahn: Revenge is a dish best not served.
Kruge: Don't beam aboard the Enterprise. I sense Admiral Kirk is laying a trap for us if we board the ship.
Surak: Let's fight.
Janet Lester: I don't envy Jim Kirk. A starship captain's job is overrated.
Cyrano Jones: Tribbles are not for sale at any price.
| By Chris Ashley on Wednesday, March 24, 1999 - 10:47 pm: |
Picard: Who cares if they're intelligent? I'm sick of talking to mysterious beings who have tried to kill us!
Data: I understand your problems completely, Counselor.
Troi: That decision would be bad. You shouldn't make it.
Scotty: The engines can take it, Captain!
Uhura: Get off my ship! [blasts alien with a CPR]
Khan: I love you.
Zephram Cochrane: No, not tonight. I have to drive home.
Sisko: Dukat, I like that.
| By Spockania on Thursday, March 25, 1999 - 02:12 am: |
Scotty: We've got plenty of power ta burn, Capt'n. Would ya like some more?
McCoy: Jim, this man is a Jem'Haddar!
| By Charles Cabe (Ccabe) on Thursday, March 25, 1999 - 03:51 pm: |
Spock: It will take a few days. I don't know exactly how long though.
| By Hans Thielman on Monday, March 29, 1999 - 03:40 pm: |
Dr. McCoy: Happy birthday, Jim.
Kirk: I thought were going to give me a bottle of Romulan Ale.
Dr. McCoy: I'm sorry, Jim, but the stuff is illegal. Besides Romulan Ale isn't very good for you.
| By Ben Jackson (Bjackson) on Thursday, April 01, 1999 - 01:28 pm: |
Anyone: Yes, Captain. This phenomenon is something we have seen many times before and know exactly how to deal with it without putting anyone or thing in any sort of danger at all, especially the ship or one of the main crew members! And we don't have to build up power or get some rare substance or part from a space station! In fact, it is done already so we can go and not put any more effort forth!
Captain: Okay, shore leave for everyone!
_
Worf: This is something that I enjoy that humans also enjoy.
| By Keith Alan Morgan on Friday, April 02, 1999 - 12:09 pm: |
Janeway: Mister, there's two ways to get home! The right way and the Janeway!
Seven of Nine: Captain, I love you.
Janeway: Kiss me you fool!
Chakotay: Harry, I love you.
Harry: I wish I were dead, again.
Odo: Nerise, while I don't mind occasionally indulging your fantasies, this is the third time this week that you asked me to look like Ezri.
Tuvok: I am Spock.
Seven of Nine: Call me Ann.
Paris: Why am I wasting my life in the holodeck?
Chakotay: No, it's not really a tattoo. Just something I like to doodle on my face every morning.
Paris: B'Elanna, that's not the proper way to use Captain Proton's joystick.
Naomi Wildman: What would happen if I stood in the airlock and pushed the decompress button?
Paris: Which is port and which is starboard again?
Kirk: Bald is beautiful.
Picard: Eat photon torpedo, Ferengi!
Sisko: I am the Emissary! Worship me!
Janeway: Pull over. Let's ask this alien for directions.
| By Todd Pence on Friday, April 02, 1999 - 09:19 pm: |
Picard: I think this situation calls for General Order Twenty-Four.
| By D.K. Henderson on Saturday, April 03, 1999 - 07:18 am: |
Scotty: "Why, sure, Captain, I can fix that right up--in just a minute or even less."
| By Lea Frost on Saturday, April 03, 1999 - 03:14 pm: |
O'Brien: I'll need at least six hours to fix that, sir!
Sisko: All right, Chief, take all the time you need.
Garak: Julian, will you marry me?
Odo: Uh, Laas, I think you need to know I tested positive...
Weyoun: Why, yes, I think I would like some kanar.
| By Anonymous on Saturday, April 03, 1999 - 10:40 pm: |
Sisko : "Yes, it's actually our fault the war
began in the first place. If we had just respected
the Dominion's request to stay out of the Gamma
Quandrant, none of this would have ever happened."
Kira: "Screw the Prophets!
We'll just colapse the wormhole and we'll
be safe from the Dominion."
| By Anonymous on Saturday, April 03, 1999 - 10:42 pm: |
Sisko : "Fire at will".
Anyone : "Who's Wil and why does everyone
want to fire at him?"
| By Keith Alan Morgan on Sunday, April 04, 1999 - 09:26 am: |
Because Will Riker keeps sexually harassing everyones' girlfriends!
| By Keith Alan Morgan couldn't resist telling this one on Sunday, April 04, 1999 - 09:31 am: |
Data: No Mister Starr, that's blown, not sucked.
| By Mark Morgan no relation to Keith although I share his middle name, too on Sunday, April 04, 1999 - 11:01 am: |
7 of 9: the Borg have never heard of this species before
The Borg Queen: let's try sending the whole fleet into human space this time
| By Hi Mark, it's me Keith on Sunday, April 04, 1999 - 11:18 am: |
Borg Queen: Humanity is just a pain in the Assimilation
| By Anonymous on Sunday, April 04, 1999 - 10:13 pm: |
>>Worf: This is something that I enjoy that humans also enjoy.
Prune juice.
| By Anonymous on Sunday, April 04, 1999 - 10:35 pm: |
Several posters seem to have been reading waaay too much fanfic lately, eh?
| By Mark who is not Keith's love child unless it will get him money? on Sunday, April 04, 1999 - 11:12 pm: |
Janeway: There is *no* way I'm letting you have a shuttle.
Paris: Harry, you really need to be more responsible in your behavior.
Dukat: I really was a petty, brutal, tyrant, wasn't I?
Odo: I couldn't care less about my people.
O'Brien: I have no idea how to fix this thing.
Rom: Brother, shut up and go away!
| By Lea Frost on Sunday, April 04, 1999 - 11:16 pm: |
[blush] All right, I admit it! I plead guilty as charged! [buries face in hands]
:-)
| By Matthew Patterson on Sunday, April 04, 1999 - 11:26 pm: |
Kirk: Rogaine sure worked for me!
McCoy: Sure, whatever you say. You won't hear any arguments from me.
Uhura: Have you considered switching to MCI's "Friends and Family" plan?
Data: Sorry, a system error occurred. Please pull on my right ear to restart.
Chekov: Sulu, vhy didn't you tell me there vas a tribble on my head?!
Garak: Here it is: the total honest truth.
Bashir: Wow, Miles, you're a lot better than I am at darts!
Vic: Eat at Quark's!
Quark: Eat at Vic's!
Barclay: Computer, one to beam dircetly anywhere, just for the fun of it!
Geordi: How do you like my new contacts?
Troi: He's telling the total truth, captain.
Any admiral: Captain, we're sending you an easy-to-complete misson somewhere very close to you.
Ship's computer: Would you stop badgering me with questions all day? I'm not a bloody Magic Eight Ball!
Pulaski: Data, how's about you and me go out for a night on the town?
Any crewmember: Punchbuggy! (upon seeing a shuttlecraft.)
Starfleet Command: Gentlemen,we've discovered the original version of the Federation Charter. The Prime Directive actually reads, "To muck about with other civilizations' culture and technology whenever and as much as possible."
Picard (after ordering tea): I coulda had a V-8!
| By Darth Morgan, Mark, I am not your father on Monday, April 05, 1999 - 10:26 am: |
Geordi: Actually I could see all along, I just enjoyed looking through women's clothing with my 'X-Ray Specs.'
Kirk: Spock... I just looked in your viewer and saw an X-Rated movie.
Harry Kim: Swirly thing alert! Swirly thing alert! (I can see the writers giving this line to Troi, though.)
The Crew of Voyager: Ah, who cares about Earth.
| By Hans Thielman on Monday, April 05, 1999 - 11:55 am: |
Spock: Captain, I need to go to Vulcan right away for Pon Farr.
Kirk: Why don't you try Priceline.com? It's big, really big.
| By Dan R. on Monday, April 05, 1999 - 07:48 pm: |
>>Worf: This is something that I enjoy that humans also enjoy.
Prune juice.
I woulda said SEX.......
| By Chris Ashley on Monday, April 05, 1999 - 11:13 pm: |
Ezri: I have no flippant psychobabble that can help you.
Kor: I'm too old and imcompetent to go on this mission.
Bashir: I don't find that woman attractive.
Ezri: I never had a previous host go through this.
Borg Queen: Resistance sure wasn't futile for Earth.
Picard: I haven't ever read that book.
Riker: I would never sleep with that woman.
Data: Unfortuntely, I could be threatened by the Y3K problem.
Q: Impossible.
| By norman on Monday, April 05, 1999 - 11:44 pm: |
<<Riker: I would never sleep with that woman.
Apparently, you forgot about Lwaxana! :)
| By Keith Alan Morgan on Tuesday, April 06, 1999 - 07:54 am: |
The Borg: We've acheived perfection. We don't want you.
Spock: Nurse Chapel, why is this story you wrote entitled Vulcan Love Slave?
Picard: Lwaxana, let's go to Risa!
Anyone: Why do I have to wear this ugly grey uniform?
Ro Laren: You know, Cardassians aren't so bad.
Any Cardassian: Will somebody turn down the heat. I'm roasting.
Picard: Counselor, you are a trained psychologist, who's job requires listening to the thoughts, concerns and fears of Starfleet trained professionals. How can you not know what a Warp Core Breach is?
Troi: Duh, I dunno.
| By Keith Alan Morgan on Tuesday, April 06, 1999 - 10:11 am: |
Cigarette Smoking Man: Why yes, I do work for Section 31.
Lwaxana: I'll shut up now.
Any Ferengi: Put it on! Put it on!
Kai Winn: Boy, have I been nasty.
The Prophets: How should we know.
| By Keith Alan Morgan on Thursday, April 08, 1999 - 06:08 am: |
(Well, since Paramount has let Star Trek team up with Marvel superheroes, perhaps these next two aren't quite so farfetched)
Kirk: Spock... what could destroy all life on this planet?
Spock: Logically, I would say it had something to do with that giant, purple alien picking his teeth with a tree
Kira: Captain, there's a silver alien, on a surfboard, approaching Bajor
(Well, now back to some normal lines they wouldn't say)
Dr. Crusher: Here, have some medical marijuana
Holodoc: You put the lime in the coconut and drink it all up
Dr. McCoy: Modern medicine won't save him. Nurse, I'll need my feathered headress, a live chicken and a cup of goat's blood
Dr. Bashir: Well, if you had genetically enhanced eyes like I do, you could see that this man's aura is all wrong
Beverly: Actually my real last name is Johnson. Crusher comes from days as a professional wrestler
Colonel Anastasia Komananov: Julian, ve must catch moose and squirrel
| By BrianB on Thursday, April 08, 1999 - 10:34 am: |
Janeway - Why didn't someone tell me we passed Earth?
Chakotay - Ug... How... Heap-big... Whoopy-doopy, you'um genius!
Kim - Heh heh, I'm gonna score!
Paris - Back in the 23rd century, the used to...
Holodoc - Why didn't I just settle on calling myself Zimmerman?
Tuvok - Time for my seven-year itch!
Chakotay/Janeway - "Captain, you've got some 'splainin' to do" "Waaaaaaaah!"
Kes - I'm only tree-and-a-half years old.
7 of 9 - This aluminum suit makes me look fat!
Neelix - Try my Nut'N'Chili cereal.
Picard - We're running out of letters in the alphabet.
Riker - What the heaven!
Crusher - He's dead, Jean-Luc.
Troi - I'm sensing...a powerful aroma!
Worf - I am a... a... Hell, I forgot!
Data - What'chu talkin' 'bout, Cap'n?
Sisko - Guess I'll never obtain the rest of those stolen orbs.
Kira - Shakaar, when the walls fell.
Jadzia - God, I'm sick to death of Klingons!
Ezri - That is so sour!
Jake - Guess I should've learned to spell.
Quark - Morn, did you nail that gold bar to the floor?
O'Brien - I originally came to DS9 to get AWAY from Worf.
Bashir - I lied about my age too.
Rom - Brother, maybe I am an idiot. But at least I'm not stu-pid!
Odo to Porky Pig - Yes, I'm really the last of the Odos! Ododiddy Dodiddydo Diddydodiddy Wooooooooo!
Vic - I'm just another Guinan.
Leeta - I must've been extremely drunk to have married Rom.
Gowron - Glory to you and your little targ, too!
Martok - Pa'tokking grapefruit!
Brunt - Brunt, CBS
Weyoun - Kiss me Odo!
MORE TO COME
| By norman on Thursday, April 08, 1999 - 05:10 pm: |
Bragga: Maybe having Paris turn into a lizard creature would be a real dumb idea.
Kes (not possessed and on camera): Neelix, we're through.
Any Hirogen: Ow! I broke a nail!
Kai Winn: I will do what you say, Emissary. How can I ever question you?
Vedek Bareil (in his last episode, not his mirror self and after half his brain is replicated): What peace treaty? I don't recall there ever being a peace treaty in the works! [speaking for the DS9 audience]
Kirk: Ah, missed! Picard, let's go back in the Nexus and back to this moment and try again.
Kira (about Eris): She'll be back . . .
Eris: No I won't.
Eddington (in House of Quark): Commander Sisko, what is Odo doing in my chair? I thought Starfleet could no longer trust him and fired him!
The Prophets: Bareil, you will not become Kai. Benjamin, your friend Jadzia will die. We actually do understand what linear time is. Benjamin, you are to take the artifact and destroy it. What the hell were we doing, talking to a Ferengi?
| By Ben Jackson (Bjackson) on Thursday, April 08, 1999 - 10:01 pm: |
>>>Worf: This is something that I enjoy that humans also enjoy.
>Prune juice.
Okay, How about this?
Worf: This is something that I enjoy then MOST humans also enjoy. :-)
| By BrianB on Friday, April 09, 1999 - 04:25 am: |
Okay, I got a good night's sleep. Here's a few more...
Kirk's last lines in ST7:G - Don't grieve, Jean-Luc, it's logical... I have been and always shall be your friend... The needs of the many outweigh...
Picard (as he blankly stared) - Aren't you dead yet?
Kirk - Wait, one more. Lions and tigers and bears, OH MY!
| By Anonymous on Friday, April 09, 1999 - 06:48 am: |
Keith
Beverley's maiden name is Howard, Crusher is her HUSBAND'S name.
| By Keith Alan Morgan on Friday, April 09, 1999 - 07:13 am: |
Anonymous
That's why it's a line you'll never hear on Star Trek ;-p
Nelix: Let me at him! I'll tear him apart!
Kes: Tom! Your thoughts are disgusting! Let's go to my quarters and talk about it.
7 of 9: That is relevant
Tuvok: If I only had a brain
Janeway: Click my heels together and we'll be home
| By norman on Friday, April 09, 1999 - 01:01 pm: |
>>Janeway: Click my heels together and we'll be home
(and not only that. But she had the power all along!)
Hmm . . . makes me think of some other references:
Ocampa People: Ding dong, the Caretaker's dead! The Caretaker's dead!
Ocampa #1: Follow the yellow warp road.
Ocampa #2: Follow the yellow warp road.
Ocampas: Follow the yellow warp road. Follow the yellow warp road. Follow, follow, follow, follow, follow the yellow warp road.
Kazon: O-e-o o-o. O-e-o. O-o.
8472: Everything's green in the Federation City.
(or Borg): Everything's green in Adjunct Matrix One!
Q (Behind a Curtain and using a thunderous version of him on a screen): Go! And set your task! Except for you, Janeway. Meet me behind the screen! Now! And I'll give you an experience you'll remember for a millenium!
Sasparilla (Okay, the name's not quite right. But I cannot remember): I'll get you my pretty and your little dog Neelix, too!
Seven of Nine: If I only had a heart.
Neelix: Cowage! I need some cowage!
| By Keith Alan Morgan of Oz on Saturday, April 10, 1999 - 03:10 am: |
Data: Oil can! Oil can!
Worf: (After getting doused with water) I'm melting! I'm melting!
Sisko: (Singing) Somewhere over the wormhole
Dr. Zimmerman: Pay no attention to the man behind the programming
Troi: (To the writers) If I only had a brain
Gul Dukat: I'll get you Jadzi and your little symbiont too.
| By Anonymous on Saturday, April 10, 1999 - 02:03 pm: |
Data: Query, what's a contraction, Captain?
| By Anonymous on Saturday, April 10, 1999 - 11:42 pm: |
::Troi: (To the writers) If I only had a brain ::
Nah you're thinking of that talentless &$%& Jadzia
| By Nyla on Sunday, April 11, 1999 - 12:46 pm: |
I'm baaack! And I see new people. Hi, guys!
Mulder: Scully, you are so right.
Scully: Mulder, you are truly disgusting. Why don't you burn your magizines and
get a life? (Love is patient, love is kind. Love is never rude or boastful...)
Riker: I am overcome with shame at my promiscous lifestyle. I'm returning to
Alaska to join a monastery.
(This ain't Trek, but I can't resist.)
Military dude: Mr President, it appears that President Milosevic has declared a
ceasefire in honor of the most holy day of the year for the majority of his people.
He says that he will keep this peace even if NATO doesn't.
Clinton, overcome with emotion: What a amazing gesture. I am truly moved, and
anyway, I didn't bomb Iraq during *their* important days. Why shouldn't I treat a
Christian religion with the same respect? Besides, Americans care so much about
their respective religions that there would be a massive outcry if I continued to
bomb people while they worshipped. Get me on a conference call with the rest of
NATO so I can call it off.
(Sorry if that's harsh. But I have Serbian friends I haven't heard from in a few
days, and I'm kinda worried for them. Not to mention the Albanians who are being
bombed wth the rest of Kosovo.)
Christos Anestai! (Christ is risen)
l
| By Chris Ashley on Sunday, April 11, 1999 - 11:03 pm: |
He is risen indeed. (And for what it's worth my church has missionaries in Belgrade. Or did recently--don't know their current status since communication ain't that easy.)
But back to the topic....
Paris: Maybe I'll join that monastery of Riker's, become an herbalist, and start solving mysteries! [I still think Tom and Cadfael have a lot in common...don't flame or bomb me....]
| By ScottN on Monday, April 12, 1999 - 12:42 pm: |
Happy Easter (to all you Orthodox types) yesterday!
| By Kevin S on Monday, April 12, 1999 - 06:36 pm: |
Yar: Data...you know that thing that never happened? By any chance, could it happen again tonight?
Quark's last words: Hey, Worf, pull my finger.
| By Nyla on Monday, April 12, 1999 - 07:57 pm: |
Thank you, Scott & Chris! Yo, Chris--you got the reponse right! (Close, anyhow;
Anestos Anestai (sp?) is literally 'Indeed He is risen!') Is this accident or study?
And, BTW, what happened to the Religious Musings board? Everyone lose
interest? (2nd BTW: Sorry about your people and I pray that they're all right,
but the idea of sending missionaries to the former Soviet Union and so forth has
always interested me. Forgive me, but was roughly a thousand years of
Christanity not enough for the Serbs? (Pardon me if I'm wrong, but I believe that
they were converted with Russia in 900 AD by St's. Cyril & Methodius.))
And to every one else: This is a solitary question and and you can rest assured that
I'm not gonna start it all up again. Please don't scream and shout.
| By Nyla, who will be back soon, enjoy her other occupant on Monday, April 12, 1999 - 08:10 pm: |
PS: I LOVE BRIGHT WEEK! no fasting = meat meat meat meat....x-flies x-files
x-files x-files (today I became an honorary Primal Screamer)...fun fun fun...
Regression. You know, I like that word. This week, one of my other personalities
will be ruling and havoc will be rampant (another good word). Then don't worry,
Still Waters Run Deep will be back, but for now, another, scarier personality
will be in place. With this post, all nitpickers should consider themselves warned.
| By Chris Ashley on Monday, April 12, 1999 - 10:27 pm: |
As regards the Greek, my last couple of churches have all used the litany "Christ is risen", "He is risen indeed" at Easter, saying it's a vewwy ancient phrase. It's a translation from the Greek of course (Greek being 1st century lingua franca et al.); I think meself that "indeed He is risen" doesn't sound as good in English, though it might be more literal.
And as regards missionaries in Serbia, IMHO there's no part of the world people aren't called to. If God sends an American to serve Serbs, I just guess He knows what He's doing. Not a criticism--your question is certainly valid and the Orthodox churches are usually shortchanged in American thinking--but thought since you asked I may as well answer.
The religious boards had degenerated into name-calling, flame, and other nastiness last time I checked. The only way I'd go back is if it improved a lot and if I suddenly had waaay more time.
And trying desperately to get back to the topic:
Q: I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.
| By Matthew Patterson on Monday, April 12, 1999 - 10:34 pm: |
Actually, they have improved. I started getting into it just about the time you left. Except for the part where Brian Webber started attacking Phil (sort of) for insulting his mother, things have been back to normal. We even got a message from the Chief! (Two, actually.) He also mentioned that the boards will be moving to the Kitchen Sink this Thursday.
| By Mike Ram apologizes! on Tuesday, April 13, 1999 - 10:14 pm: |
Spock: Ship...out of danger?
Kirk: Eh...the Reliant didn't make it, Spock...
Spock: "KHHHHHHAAAAAANNNN...KHAAAN...KHANNN!!!"
| By Won't reveal his identity because he will be frowned upon on Tuesday, April 13, 1999 - 10:45 pm: |
Picard: Sup homey...got da stuff loke?
Q: Yo Pi I got da Dope stuff!
Picard: Throw it down and don't make me pull out a gat foo!Punk-A$$!!!
| By Chris Ashley, who has no reputation to lose on Tuesday, April 13, 1999 - 11:09 pm: |
Hmm....would that be the constellation Church & Dodge?
(if anybody gets *that* I will be surprised indeed!)
| By Anonymous on Thursday, April 15, 1999 - 01:52 pm: |
Data: Captain, permission to leave the bridge. I need to use the head.
| By Charles Cabe (Ccabe) on Thursday, April 15, 1999 - 03:57 pm: |
Ezri: Let's throw Odo out the window and see what happens.
Sisko: (blah, blah, blah), Old Man.
Ezri: Don't call me Old Man ever again! Or I'll start calling you Old Maid.
| By KAM on Friday, April 16, 1999 - 05:32 am: |
Sisko: Just don't call me Mister Clean.
Rom: I must be smarter than I think. They named a computer part after me.
Sisko: Old Man, let's go fishing. You bring the worm.
Jake: Why am I wasting my life writing?
Ezri: I just love the way gagh wiggles down my throat.
Jadzia: Klingons are overrated.
Captain Boday: Try Windex for that really clear scalp!
| By Jeff of Goin' Down to Eden Fame on Friday, April 16, 1999 - 05:22 pm: |
Amen to that.. Yeah Bother!!!
| By Jeff on Friday, April 16, 1999 - 05:36 pm: |
Picard to expeditionary landing party after accidently bumping into a Kirk statue on some primitive planet: "Here we go again."
Red shirt: No way! You go, down there and report back to me.
Scotty: No thanks, I'm on the wagon for Lent.
Spok: Make mine a double.
Quark: Dabbo [sp?] is a •••••• game.
Worf: Yes, my boobs are firmer. Now shut up before I shoot you. By the way, I'm a commander now so I can say what I wish to you, you petach bucket of bolts.
| By Dquinn (Dquinn) on Saturday, April 17, 1999 - 01:01 pm: |
Hey there!
I have deleted the offending messages and will sweep the entire board tonight. I am a busy person, making special effects which are then nitpicked. So in essence, I am on both sides. If you see any messages that are offending, email me at [email protected] . This is a huge board so I cant get everywhere all the time. It is not out of my power to require people to be registered to send messages, but please both force me to. Thanks,
Declan
| By ScottN on Sunday, April 18, 1999 - 02:18 am: |
Worf: Has anyone seen my pet tribble?
| By norman on Monday, April 19, 1999 - 07:01 pm: |
(After Ezri says "I love you, Julian")
Worf: (Turning Away) Ezri, that's not you talking. That's the writers talking!
Dukat (After a night of passion with Kai Winn): I think I just lost my taste for Bajorans!
| By Keith Alan Morgan on Thursday, April 22, 1999 - 09:58 am: |
Spock (Singing): It's not easy being green...
Ezri: Jadzia's taste in men was awful.
Jadzia (to Worf): Sit up. Beg. Play dead.
Tribble (to a Klingon): prrrr, prrrr, prrrr
Tribble (to a Human): rowrrr, fssst
Tribble (to Chewbacca): Daddy!
| By Weyoun on Thursday, April 22, 1999 - 03:36 pm: |
Changeling Leader: It's too cold.
| By Keith Alan Morgan on Friday, April 23, 1999 - 07:05 am: |
Changeling Leader: If it were any colder, I would be a solid.
| By Keith Alan Morgan on Saturday, April 24, 1999 - 10:51 am: |
Wayoun: Damar, I can't find the Founder. My you have an awful lot of ice for your Kanar.
| By Chris Ashley on Saturday, April 24, 1999 - 11:43 pm: |
Any Klingon: Actually, this would be a pretty awful day to die.
Any Jem'hadar [to Weyoun]: Quit giving me orders, you prick! [bashes Weyoun's head in]
Worf: I am Weasel.
Worf [swearing in Klingon]: Neutr'ajinne t'sel!
| By Keith Alan Morgan on Sunday, April 25, 1999 - 07:07 am: |
Sisko: This can't be the last season! I just bought a new house on Bajor! How can I afford to pay it off?
The Jem'Hadar & the Vorta (singing to the Founders): We're not gonna take it anymore!
Any Klingon: Tea time!
Changeling Leader: Actually, our race was created when a batch of Silly Putty was accidentally exposed to some radioactive waste.
Spock: Yes, we do make our ears pointy using rice pickers.
| By Emergency Medical Hologram on Sunday, April 25, 1999 - 02:24 pm: |
Torres: No, Tom, I will not get jealous if you go out on a date with Seven.
| By Dquinn (Dquinn) on Monday, April 26, 1999 - 04:26 pm: |
Well its nice to see this place is back in order. The topic is simply asking for trouble. But it seems to have settled down, and that annoying flamer has gone. If anyone DOES flame, please dont waste your time flaming back. Drop me an email, [email protected] and I'll get rid of his messages.
Declan
| By female anonymous on Monday, April 26, 1999 - 11:18 pm: |
What makes you so sure it was a he?
| By norman on Tuesday, April 27, 1999 - 12:15 am: |
Quark's in "Strange Bedfellows"):
O'Brien: What were you just mumbling, Bashir?
Bashir (rolling eyes): Nothing. It's those writers trying to forward the plot
again. I guess Ezri and I are supposed to be together and they decided they
couldn't come up with a truly "creative" way to do it! Which is an insult to me
due to my genetic enhancements!
Kai Winn (to Dukat/Anjo): Go!
Dukat/Anjo: Eww! You mean I slept with you for nothing? D*mn Pah-Wraiths! I
guess the joke's on me.
(A Breen rescues Worf, (who is still hanging upside down) cuts him down and
takes him to a Shuttle).
Worf: Who are you?
Breen (taking off her helmet): Someone who loves you!
Worf: Yeah, but what's with the hairdo?
| By cableface on Wednesday, April 28, 1999 - 04:48 pm: |
McCoy: I'm a doctor d*mn it, not a happy , well-adjusted person.
| By Keith Alan Morgan on Friday, May 07, 1999 - 08:57 am: |
The cut scene from Image In The Sand
Keiko: Miles Edward O'Brien! What's this I hear about you going on a dangerous mission to blow up a star!
O'Brien: Oh, honey. We have to do it to get Jadzia into Sto-Vo-Kor. Julien, Worf, Quark and a bunch of Klingons are gonna do it.
Keiko: Oh, and if Julien, Worf, Quark and a bunch of Klingons were going to jump off a cliff, would you wanna do that, too?
| By Keith Alan Morgan on Saturday, May 08, 1999 - 11:15 am: |
Riker: Captain! Q just came aboard!
Picard: Oh, not again!
Troi: Captain. My mother just came aboard.
Picard: Abandon ship!
| By Keith Alan Morgan on Saturday, May 08, 1999 - 11:25 am: |
Kirk: Mr. Chekov, this was invented in Russia.
Chekov: Really? I never knew that.
Yeoman Rand: Captain, why do you have a box of cigars on your desk?
Sulu: I made the Kessel run in less than 3 parsecs.
Spock preparing to use the Vulcan Mind Meld.
Kirk: Use the Force, Spock.
Any crewmember in Relics: That's not a Dyson sphere! It's the Death Star!
Commodore Decker: I beamed my entire crew down to Alderaan just before the Death Star arrived.
| By rachgd on Monday, May 10, 1999 - 09:58 am: |
Wesley has just saved the ship...
Anyone: "Thanks!"
| By Keith Alan Morgan on Tuesday, May 11, 1999 - 06:04 am: |
Wesley: Oops!
Ship explodes
Riker: Captain! Some invaders tried to beam on board the ship, but our automatic security system transported them to the brig without their weapons.
| By XNZ on Tuesday, May 11, 1999 - 09:27 am: |
Janeway: Watch what you say about my state!
Chakotay: Boy, you people from Indiana are sure thin skinned.
| By Anonymous on Tuesday, May 11, 1999 - 03:20 pm: |
Admiral Ross (to Quark): More Romulan ale, please.
| By Charles Cabe (Ccabe) on Wednesday, May 12, 1999 - 11:28 am: |
This bring up a legal question: Since Bajor isn't a part of the Federation, is Romulan ale legal on Bajor or DS9?
| By Keith Alan Morgan on Saturday, May 15, 1999 - 10:11 am: |
Chekov: Captain! Ve are being attacked by moose and squirrl!
The Crew: (singing) Chekov! Chekon! Chekov, Chekon, the Cheker!
B'Elanna: Doctor! Is there nothing I can take to relieve this tummyache?
Doctor: You take the lime and the coconut and drink it all up.
The Delaney sisters: (singing) Double your pleasure, double your fun...
Ensign Ayala: Boy, I have a little trouble with my pitching and the Mariners trade me to the Delta quadrant!
Ensign Buckwheat: The First Officer is Cha-koooo-tay
Seven of Nine: Doctor, you dance divinely.
Doctor: Well, I'm light on my feet.
On Voyager's holodeck
Miss Goodheart: Help me, Captain Proton! Help meeeee!
Crow: Yes! Help me or I'll scream again!
Tom Servo: Oh, the pain, the pain!
Harry: What's the deal with that guy and those two robots?
Paris: I accidently loaded the MST3K version into the holodeck.
| By weirddave on Sunday, May 16, 1999 - 11:19 pm: |
Tuvok " Warp core ejecters have fired, Captain, we're out of danger"
| By Anonymous on Monday, May 17, 1999 - 12:29 pm: |
Gowron: Et tu, Worf.
| By norman on Tuesday, May 18, 1999 - 12:24 am: |
No, that should be Et tu, wolfe!
| By Keith Alan Morgan on Tuesday, May 18, 1999 - 04:20 am: |
Romulan: You want to know why the Klingon/Romulan alliance ended? Every time they won they wrote an opera, then they would 'sing' it over and over again. Have you ever heard that cacophany that the Klingons call 'music'? Finally, we heard they were having a music festival on Khitomer, with all their top composers... and that's when we decided to strike!
| By Keith Alan Morgan on Friday, May 21, 1999 - 08:04 am: |
With UPN adding 2 hours of wrestling to their line-up what will happen to Star Trek?
Borg Queen: (yelling & posing) Janeway! We're the Borg! You'll be assimilated! We challenge you to a Texas-style, steel-cube death match! Resistance is futile! Arrrrrrrrg!
The next President of the Federation? Jesse "The Body" Ventura. (And just wait till you see Hulk Hogan as a Romulan.)
| By ScottN on Monday, May 24, 1999 - 02:17 am: |
Lwaxana Troi: Mr. Worf.
Lursa and B'etor: Yes, Picard was right to choose Gowron to be the next chancellor.
| By Keith Alan Monty Python on Wednesday, May 26, 1999 - 09:19 am: |
First Ahahah'Chooo: No one expects The Jem'Hadar! (Ominous music)
Our chief weapon is fear... and surprise.
Our two chief weapons are fear and surprise... and ruthless efficiency.
Our three chief weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency... and a completly fanatical devotion to the Founders.
| By Charles Cabe (Ccabe) on Wednesday, May 26, 1999 - 11:32 am: |
Our four chief weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency, a completly fanatical devotion to the Founders and really scarry faces.
| By Keith Alan Morgan on Thursday, May 27, 1999 - 08:17 am: |
The Vorta Gazoundhite: You mean 'scary' faces, not scarry faces.
First Ahahah'Chooo: (vaporises Vorta) That's for correcting me!
Cut line from What We Leave Behind
"Oh, my god! They killed Benny!"
| By weirddave on Wednesday, June 02, 1999 - 12:32 am: |
You Bastards!
| By Anonymous on Thursday, June 03, 1999 - 02:49 pm: |
Kai: Your pah is strong, young Skywalker.
Odo: I don't allow weapons on the Promenade. That includes light sabers.
Spock: I've got a bad feeling about this.
McCoy: I hate to admit it, but C3PO is even more annoying than Spock.
Scott: It's no good, Mr. Qu-Gon-Ginn. I simply canna fix the Queen's starship without at least three weeks in spacedock.
Kirk: Honorable members of the Jedi Council, our Prime Directive prohibits interference with other cultures. However, for you to deny Jedi training to Anakin Skywalker is simply wrong ... Our scientists have discovered that using this filter mask will block out the dark side of the force... Excuse me please, Kirk to Enterprise, carry out General Order 24 in thirty minutes unless before then you hear from me otherwise. In closing, I want to read for you an ancient document written many years ago, which begins as follows: "We the People of the United States of America, ... "
Janeway: I'm sorry, Anakin, but I already have a Captain's Assistant.
| By ScottN on Thursday, June 03, 1999 - 04:15 pm: |
Anonymous you forgot:
Sisko: You should not have come back, Old Man. Now I am the Master.
| By Charles Cabe (Ccabe) on Friday, June 04, 1999 - 02:36 pm: |
Meesa Nelix Binks, Messa cook food in the Captains Mess.
| By ScottN on Friday, June 04, 1999 - 06:32 pm: |
[Any Voyager Regular]: Yes, Neelix, your cooking is delicious.
Geordi: Yes, the holodecks are functioning perfectly.
| By Hans Thielman on Monday, June 07, 1999 - 02:42 pm: |
Kai Winn: Dukat, your services are no longer needed. I have hired a Darth Maul to assist me in releasing the Pah Wraiths from the fire caves.
O'Brien: Julian, look this alamo piece is actually Jar Jar Binks.
Sisko: Mother, you're telling me that there's no kitchen here in the Celestial Temple. In that case, I'm out of here.
| By Keith Alan Morgan on Tuesday, June 08, 1999 - 02:19 pm: |
(Every time I see that backward L symbol in Cardassian headquarters, I think of a similar L logo for the Legion Of Super-Heroes.
So even though I may be the only Legion fan at Nitcentral, here is DS9 vs. the LSH.)
Sisko: It's hopeless, Admiral. Our weapons can't get through Brainiac 5's shields, Princess Projectra creates illusions that make us fire on the wrong targets, Superboy and Supergirl stop our ships in any star system without a red sun, but they have Mon-El and Ultra Boy patrolling those systems...
Admiral Ross: Yes, our shields can't stop Phantom Girl and we just learned that Saturn Girl has been reading our minds to learn our plans.
General Martok: Timber Wolf and Karate Kid each singlehandedly defeated a battalion of Klingon warriors. With fighters like that we may as well surrender.
Sloane (appearing from nowhere): Worry not gentlemen. Section 31 has a plan. First we'll send in Paul Levitz. If that doesn't work, we'll send in Keith Giffen and Tom & Mary Beirbaum.
Sisko: Good heavens, man! Have you no decency? Isn't there something more ethical we can use like chemical & biological warfare or even the Genesis device?
Sloan: I'm sorry, gentlemen, but we have no choice. (Sloane vanishes into thin air)
(A few days after sending in Giffen & the Beirbaums, Sisko, Admiral Ross and General Martok are drinking bloodwine in Legion HQ.)
Sisko, Ross & Martok: Thank god for Section 31!
cut scene from What you leave behind
Jadzia brought back from the dead by the Prophets
Jadzia: I married a Klingon?! What was that slug thinking?
Quark: And I guarentee that this Latinum is urine-free
Morn: Urine?
Quark: Of course. Latinum is Platinum without the P.
Sins Of The Father
Worf's nanny: Your father wanted you to have this... it's his lightsaber.
Redemption II
Lursa & B'Etor: Come over to the dark side, Worf
Gowron's last words: I killed K'Eylahr
Uhura: Oh, it's so cute. What is it?
Cyranno Jones: Why my dear lady, it's an Ewok
| By norman on Wednesday, June 09, 1999 - 01:06 am: |
(Kai Winn takes off her robe and hat and throws it into the fire caves)
Dukat: Take It Off, Adoni! Take It Off!
Sisko: I'll be back in a year . . . or yesterday.
Kassidy: A year? Look, jerk, you can go and play with your Prophets for all you want while I have a child to raise! Men are all the same! Yesterday, you bet I wish I did something else yesterday!
(Worf has his flashbacks)
Jadzia: Jerk! One year of marriage and he doesn't even think of me!
Kai Winn (ready to cast the book into the flames): Then I will! You know, Dukat, you really burn me up sometimes! Auuuuuuuugh!
(After Sisko leaves to face the Prophets,)
Vic: And now a song that was on the charts in my era. This is the Eve of Destruction!
Weyoun: I sometimes wonder what's underneath those helmets.
Founder: Probably some poor excuse of a hairdo!
Dukat (to Sisko): If you only knew the power of the Dark Side!
Winn (in the corner): I know it, and yeah, right, "some power"! (Turns into flames) Auuuuuuugh!
| By Odo on Wednesday, June 09, 1999 - 12:59 pm: |
Kira: Princess Leia, how do you see through these helmets?
| By Keith Alan Morgan on Wednesday, June 09, 1999 - 01:38 pm: |
Mulder: My sister was abducted by Pah-Wraiths
Scully: There is no scientific evidence that Pah-Wraiths even exist
| By MikeC on Wednesday, June 09, 1999 - 03:33 pm: |
DUKAT: Yes, Weyoun, that is a fine idea.
WEYOUN: Founder, that's not a good idea.
ENSIGN: Actually, Captain Kirk, you investigate the Mugatu.
KLINGON WARRIOR: Captain Kirk? Who?
KLINGON: But what about the Organian Treaty?
YEOMAN RAND: Actually, Captain, I don't think that "It was my evil side" is a fine excuse. This is my lawyer, Donny Douglas. See you in court.
SAMUEL COGLEY: My client pleads guilty. That's all I have to say.
| By Keith Alan Morgan on Thursday, June 10, 1999 - 01:20 am: |
Apocalypse Rising, the alternate version
Worf has just challenged Gowron to a Taco eating contest. 'Martok' & Odo wait in the hall.
'Martok': Why doesn't he just kill him.
Odo: Klingons take their tacos seriously and if you were a Klingon you would understand that, but my people don't understand about tacos.
We are the Borg. Your taco recipes will be assimilated.
Scorpion, the alternate version
Janeway: Doctor, we're going to load Neelix's taco recipes into you. If the Borg try to take the ship we will delete you.
Extreme Risk, the alternate version
B'Elanna: Neelix, my grandmother used to make banana tacos...
| By Quark on Thursday, June 10, 1999 - 04:24 pm: |
The real reason why Captain Sisko and Admiral Ross declined to drink a toast on Cardassia:
Sisko: Bloodwine, I hate it.
Ross: I agree, Ben. I'd sooner drink Romulan Ale than swallow that Klingon battery acid.
| By mei on Friday, June 11, 1999 - 02:17 pm: |
Hey, Keith! Good to see another Legion fan. I hate to admit, I haven't seen them in years, but I still enjoy the classics!
| By Keith Alan Morgan, Long Live The Legion! on Friday, June 11, 1999 - 02:39 pm: |
Hey, Mei! Yeah, they were great. Actually, they're still great, it's just the writer's minds that got smaller. Check out my posts in Jokes And Groaners & Things You Would Never See Or Hear In Star Wars. I slipped in a few LSH references.
Now back to the regularly scheduled joking...
Past Tense, Part I
at the end when Sisko & Bashir walk into the Sanctuary office
Sisko: The name's Bell... Taco Bell!
| By Hans Thielman on Tuesday, June 15, 1999 - 12:35 pm: |
Kira: Quark, put me down for two strips of latinum on Vedik ***** becoming the next Kai.
| By Keith Alan Morgan on Tuesday, June 15, 1999 - 01:14 pm: |
First Minister Shaakar: Here is our new Kai... Grand Nagus Rom.
Grand Nagus Kai Rom: Oh, my. I don't know what to say.
Garak: Excuse me Grand Nagus Kai Rom, but the people of Cardassia would like to speak with you.
Grand Nagus Kai Rom: Ohhhhh, boy.
| By Keith Alan Morgan on Friday, June 18, 1999 - 06:59 am: |
Holo-Doc: What is the nature of the medical emergency?
Daleks: It's the Doctor! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!
Chekov: Keptain! That man is lying. I have read his mind.
Kirk: Wait a minute, you're not Chekov! You're Bester, the psi cop!
Kai Winn: Emissary. Do you have a message from the Prophets?
Mace Windu: May the Force be with you.
Quark: I didn't always look this way. I used to be a principal in Sunnydale, California.
Jadzia: In a past life, I was a bartender.
Janeway: I was married once. To a police investigator who used to wear this natty raincoat.
Holo-Doc: I keep having flashback's of serving in Vietnam.
| By Latinum Grit on Monday, June 21, 1999 - 02:01 am: |
Jadzia (to Worf): Don't swear in front of the Orinoco. It'll think we're cheap.
Kira: Of course I want Odo, but as a bendy-toy, not for sex!
Julian: (monotone) Now we are alone, O precious lump of lanthanum, and at last...
(grimaces) No...
(monotone) at last I am free to reveal...
(grimaces) No...
(monotone) that which lies unseen in my heart. Can you guess it, my sweaty flanked okapi?
Ezri: Oh, my god, Julian! You're possessed by aliens who want you to sleep with me!
Julian: (grimaces) No,... just the writers...
| By mei on Tuesday, June 22, 1999 - 06:05 pm: |
Re: 7of9 saying: The Borg do not know this species.
Actually, she did say that, in Latent Images. (the one where they delete some of the Doctor's memories). I just finished watching that show, and the line is really funny with this board in mind.