| Brian and Amanda Wood are best friends. They've been that way since they could remember. They are as close as two peas in a pod. Other people who are close to the life-long friends never understood why they never 'hooked-up'. They would soon learn that the reason that Brian hasn't made his move on Amanda was because he was gay. For almost three years, Brian has kept it a secret from everyone, even Amanda. When Amanda is given advice to try to make a move on Brian, Amanda learns Brian's secret. Although Amanda is hurt at the fact that Brian has been keeping secrets from her, she supports him. Being as religious as Brian is, he never went looking for a boyfriend. But one day, Amanda is dumped by her boyfriend for another girl, Brian begins having second thoughts about his sexuality.... -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------! ---------- Chapter 1: Secrets.... "I get the top bunk!" Amanda yelled. "Don't think so Princess!" Brian shouted back. They were into the last few days of the tour and since the last three cities that were scheduled were only a few hours away, they rented buses. Ever since Amanda and Brian were 13, Brian called Amanda 'Princess' and Amanda called Brian 'Sexy Man'. Brian took Amanda's bag and moved it to the bottom. "Fine, see if I ever call you Sexy Man again." Amanda pouted. Brian rolled his eyes. "Fine by me, I know dozens of girls who would call me Sexy Man whenever I wanted." Brian said as he climbed up to his bunk and laid down. "Oh yeah, well I know many guys who would call me Princess." Amanda said. "Yeah, Kevin, Nick, Aj and Howie." Brian laughed. "Shut up!" Amanda said as she threw a pillow at Brian. "I'm tired." Brian said as he laid on his stomach. "Sexy Man, where's my goodnight ki! ss?" Amanda asked. "Oh, sorry Princess." Brian said. He sat up and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Night Amanda." Brian said as he laid down. Amanda laid down on her bed and sighed. ******************************** At around 7 in the morning, Amanda woke up as the tour bus came to a halt. She stirred and sat up as the bus door opened. She got up. Brian was still fast asleep. She walked up to the driver. "Why'd we stop?" she asked. "Break time for one hour, then a 2 hour drive to the next city." he said. "If you're hungry, there's a 24 hour diner across the street." he said. "Thanks." Amanda got dressed and walked off the bus. "Morning Princess." Aj said. He and Howie stood on the side of the road, which was next to a river, with coffee in their hands. "Morning Aj, hey Howie." Amanda said. Nick stepped out of his bus. "Morning all." he said. "Hi Nick." they replied in unison.! "Where's Kevin?" Howie asked. "Dead to the world for the next 30 years." Nick said as he rubbed his right eye with the palm of his hand. "Oh, where's Brian?" Aj asked. "Dead too." Amanda replied. "Must run in the family." Howie commented. "Come on, I'm hungry." Amanda said as she grabbed Nick and Howie by the arms with Aj behind them. After they ordered breakfast they began to talk. "So, how was your night with 'Sexy Man?'" Aj questioned. "How come whenever Se-, I mean, Brian and I sleep within 100 yards of each other, you think we did something?" Amanda questioned. "Well why don't you?" Aj asked. "Yeah, you two make the perfect couple." Howie said. "Yeah, you know you like him." Nick smirked. Amanda bit her lip nervously and smiled. "Ah, see, I told you. You're perfect." Nick smiled and put his arm around her. "Okay, you guys found me out, but I don't think he likes me that way ya'll." A! manda said, letting her southern accent show. The guys looked at each other. "Well, why don't you make the first move?" Howie suggested. "First move?" Amanda raised her eyebrow. "Yeah, like go out for dinner." Howie said. "Yeah, and tell him how you feel." Nick added. "Then when he least expects it, kiss him." Aj said. "Like I haven't kissed him before Aj." Amanda pointed out. "No no no." Nick shook his head. "Not like your goodnight kisses on the cheek or friendly 'hello' pecks on the lips. You gotta show him that you like him more than a friend." Aj said as he leaned forward. "Ya'll think it'll really work?" Amanda asked. "Positive." Nick assured her. "Okay, I'm going for it." Amanda smiled. "Go for what?" Brian asked as he sat next to Amanda. "Uh, the number 4. It looks pretty good." Amanda said nervously as she grabbed a menu. "Oh, then maybe I'll get one." Brian smiled. Everyone nodded and kept t! heir eyes down. Brian cleared his throat and looked at the menu. "So, Brian, what would you think if I said that I was thinking of going out with Amanda?" Aj questioned. Brian looked at Amanda. "Oh, that's wonderful!" Brian smiled. Everyone's jaw dropped as Brian hugged Amanda. Amanda giggled nervously and glared at Aj. He shrugged. "Kiss him." Nick coughed. Amanda let go of Brian. All the guys looked at each other. "I forgot to wash my hands." Howie excused himself. "Yeah, me too." Aj said. "Me three, wait up." Nick said. They all headed to the bathroom. "Wow, why didn't you tell me you two were going out, huh?" Brian asked. "Because we're not. He was just trying to see if you-." she stopped and looked in his eyes. She leaned in and kissed him. Brian could tell that this wasn't like their 'hello' kiss. He pulled away from her. "I have to go unpack." Brian excuse! d himself and ran to the bus. Amanda sat there and cried as the guys came back. "So where'd he go?" Nick asked. "I did exactly what you guys said. Then he pulled away and said he had to go unpack and he ran to the bus." Amanda cried. "Oh, Princess, you probably just scared him. Give him time." Howie assured her. "No, he hates me." Amanda cried. *************************************** Brian ran towards the bus and ran inside. 'They can't know about my secret' Brian thought to himself over and over. He heard a knock at the bus door. He sat at the table with his head down. "Hey Brian, why aren't you getting some breakfast?" Kevin asked. "Not hungry." Brian said as he sniffled. "Bri, you okay?" Kevin asked. Brian quickly wiped away a tear and faked a smile. "Yeah, fine." he said. "No you're not, you're crying. Okay what happened?" Kevin asked. Brian shook his head like he ! wasn't going to talk. "Alright fine, I'll guess. Amanda kissed you in a more than a friendly way and you don't feel the same way." Kevin said. "How'd you-?" Brian started. "That's not important. So you really don't think of Amanda as any more than a friend?" Kevin questioned. "It's not that. This has nothing to do with her. It's just me." Brian cried. "Well what then?" Kevin asked. Brian sighed. "Kevin, I'm-" Brian began. "Brian, I need to talk to you." Amanda stormed on the bus. "I'll talk to you later." Kevin said. Amanda sat next to Brian. "Princess, believe me, what happened back there had nothing to do with you." Brian hugged her. "I understand that you're not attracted to me, but can we just remain friends?" Amanda cried. "The only reason that I'm not kissing you is b-because, I-I'm...." Brian couldn't finish. Amanda looked him straight in the eye. "Please tell me." she ple! aded. "Amanda, I'm gay." Brian said. Amanda moved away from him in confusion. She placed her hands in her lap and stared down. "Princess, you okay hun?" Brian asked as he placed his hand on her back. She looked at him and smiled. "My best friend is gay." Amanda said excitedly. Then her mood changed. "Oh, you're gay." she said sympathetically. "Yes, I am. Are you okay with that?" Brian asked. "Oh sure, I am, but the question is, is everyone else okay with it?" she asked. "Well, I haven't told the guys yet, but I think that they'll be okay.' Brian said. "No I mean the fans and media. This could bring down your whole career or it could raise your career up." Amanda said. "Well, ya see, I don't think I could afford taking that chance. That's why I'm asking you to keep this our secret." Brian made her look at him. Amanda nodded. "But, how long have you known?" Amanda asked. "3 years." Bri! an sighed. "And you never told me!?" Amanda said shocked. "I wasn't sure how you were going to take it." Brian explained. "Oh Brian, you can talk to me about anything. Promise me no more secrets, okay Sexy Man?" she smiled at him. He nodded. "Okay, but please don't tell the guys either." Brian pleaded. "Okay, but how are we going to explain why we aren't going out?" Amanda asked. "Easy, we don't." Brian said. "Huh?" Amanda looked at him. "We pretend to go out until you meet someone else." Brian shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, that'll work." Amanda agreed. "So, what about you?" Amanda asked. "What about me?" Brian asked. "Have you been looking for someone special?" Amanda nudged him. "Amanda, you know me, now stop." Brian said as he climbed up to his bunk. He laid down. "Okay, I'm sorry. Can I come up?" she asked. "Sure." he said. Amanda climbed up and cuddled up to him. He held her c! lose to him. "Are you okay with us being close still?" Amanda asked as she held his hand. "Of course, you're my best friend." he smiled at her. "Good." Amanda sighed. "Brian?" "Hmm?" he mumbled. "I love you, Sexy Man." she whispered. Brian opened one eye then slowly opened the other. "I love you too Princess." he whispered back. Brian leaned down and gave Amanda her goodnight kiss. "One more thing." Amanda looked at their hands that were joined together. "What?" Brian looked at her. "So, am I the only girl you said 'I love you' to?" she smiled and looked up at him. He thought for a moment. "Does my mom count?" Brian asked. "Yeah." they giggled and went back to sleep. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 2: 'A-Man,-Da' *Two Years Later* "So, how'd it go?" Brian asked Amanda. "Oh, Jason was so cute."! Amanda said. "See, I told you he was your type." Brian hugged her as she sat next to him on the couch. Jason Small was a dancer for BSB, so Brian hooked the two up. Now they could stop pretending to be going out. They had told everyone that they were still best friends. "So, do you see a future date?" Brian asked. "Yeah, I think so." Amanda nodded. Brian sighed as Amanda cuddled up to Brian's chest. "What have you been up to tonight Sexy Man?" Amanda asked as she fiddled with the loose end of Brian's belt. He looked at her. "Well, I told Tyke about my whole life story. Now look at him." Brian pointed to the corner where Lil' Tyke was sleeping on his doggie-pillow. "Aww, Brian, you're lonely. Maybe I should call off my date with Jason tomorrow." Amanda suggested. "No, no. I'm fine. You shouldn't give up men because I gave up girls." Brian said. "You sure?" Amanda asked as! she played with his hair. "Positive. I'm going to bed, you coming Princess?" Brian asked before he got up. "I'll be there in a few minutes, I love you Sexy Man." Amanda said. "Okay, love you too Princess." Brian said before he gave her a goodnight kiss. Amanda watched as Brian skipped stairs going up to their room. Amanda thought that Brian might be having trouble letting out his feelings. He wanted to tell the guys and maybe the media, but he was afraid how they would react. Amanda got up and changed into her pajamas. She walked into the bedroom they shared every once in a while. Amanda looked at Brian. He was on his stomach in the fetal position and just falling asleep. He was sleeping in his plaid pj bottoms and white socks with no shirt. She slowly crawled up onto the bed with him. She crawled up to his shoulders and kissed his shoulder. "Brian, you awake?" Amanda asked."I am now, what's wrong?" he asked. "You have to tell them." Amanda hugged him. "Who?" he asked. "The guys." Amanda said. Brian turned towards her. "About what, you and Jason?" he asked. "No, about you." she said in a serious tone. Brian sighed heavily. He had a frightened look upon his pale face. "Do you think they'll accept it?" Brian asked. "Look, they're your best friends, even family, they care about you Brian." Amanda said as she took Brian's hand. "Thank you Amanda." Brian said. "For what?" she asked. "For caring about me the most. For taking care of and loving me. And just being there." Brian said as his blue eyes were clouded over by tears. "Anytime Sexy Man." Amanda hugged him. "You know, if I were straight, I'd ask you to marry me right now.?" Brian giggled. "You know that if I were a gay man, I'd say yes." Amanda laughed. -----------------------------------------------! --------------------------------------------------- Chapter 3: Breaking The News.... "Okay, call me the minute you get there Sexy Man." Amanda said as Brian was about to head off to the airport. "Okay Princess, love you!" Brian called as the limo drove away. The guys were on their way to the Bahamas to record their next album. Brian promised Amanda that he would tell the guys that he was gay when they got there. *************************** "Bri, come play PS2 with me." Nick called. "Nick, could I talk to you for a minute?" Brian asked. "Sure." Nick said. He followed Brian to their room in their beach house. They sat down on the bed. "So, what's up?" Nick asked. Brian sighed. "Okay, you know that time when I was going out with Amanda?" Brian asked. "Yeah, I'm still not clear on why you stopped." Nick recalled. "That's because we never were." Brian said. "Whoa, wait, you two were nev! er going out?" Nick asked in a confused tone. "No, we pretended." Brian confessed. "Why would you do that?" Nick asked. "Because Amanda was helping me hide my secret." Brian said. Nick looked at him. "What secret?" Nick asked. Brian paused and sighed. "Nick, I'm gay." Brian said. "You're gay? As in, you don't like girl, kind of gay, or the happy kind of gay?" Nick asked. "Not the happy one Nick." Brian said. "Oh." Nick said. He was in shock, and Brian knew this. He put his hand on his back. Nick looked at where Brian's hand was, then at Brian. "Don't worry, I'm not looking for a boyfriend Nick." Brian laughed. Nick laughed nervously. "You okay?" Brian asked. "Yeah, yeah, fine. Does anyone else know?" Nick asked. Brian shook his head. "Not even your folks?" "No, I'm getting there. It's just really hard. I think that if I tell people that I'm gay,! then they'll look at me differently and either be afraid of me or just think of me as Brian, the fruit of the group. My sexuality isn't the only thing to my character and personality, you know?" Brian said with concern. "Yeah, I know. What does it matter what they think? It matters that you should be comfortable with who you are." Nick assured him. "But I'm not. I'm scared. I've been scared for about 5 years now." Brian said as tears built up in his eyes. "I know man." Nick said as he hugged him. "I know." *********************************** "Oh, hi Brian, guess what?" Amanda said as she picked up the phone. "What Princess?" Brian said holding back his tears. "I got a job!" she shrieked. "Oh wonderful, when do you start?" he asked. "Two weeks, why?" she asked. "Could you fly down here, I need you?" Brian said as a tear ran down his face. "Oh sure Sexy Man, who'd you tell?" she asked. "! Nick." Brian said as he sniffled. "And how'd he take it?" she asked. "Well, at first I think he thought that I was hitting on him." Brian laughed. Amanda laughed along. "Then once I told him that I wasn't then he was supportive." Brian said. "Okay I'll try to be there by dinner time tomorrow, okay?" Amanda said sympathetically. "Thanks Princess. I love you." Brian said. "Love you too." Amanda said. Brian could hear Jason in the background. "Tell Jason I said hi. Bye." Brian said as he hung up the phone. "Who was that?" Aj asked as he walked in, holding a cup of soda. "Princess." Brian said as he wiped his eyes. "Is something wrong?" he asked as he walked towards him. "No, I'm okay." Brian said. "You don't look okay." Aj said as he sat next to him. "No, really, I'm fine. What'd you need?" Brian asked. "I needed to get away from everyone, then I saw you." Aj shrugged. "Why did you need to ge! t away?" Brian asked. "Well," Aj began as he set his drink down and laid back and put his hand on his stomach, "Everyone was actin' like fags. Nick especially was being really gay trying to drink a whole glass of orange soda in one breath." he laughed. Brian didn't laugh. "And being gay is funny?" Brian asked. Aj looked at him. "What?" he was confused. "Never mind, I think I'm going to bed." Brian said. "Yeah, me too. Night B-rok." Aj said as he left. Aj ran into Nick. "Talkin' to Brian?" he asked. "Yeah, but I was talking about how you guys were actin' all gay and he got defensive." Aj shrugged. "You what?" Nick asked. "what?" Aj asked innocently. "What, are you both gay together or something?" Aj asked confused. Nick sighed and pulled Aj into his room. He sat him down. "Not both of us." Nick said. Aj looked at him. Nick sighed in frustration. "Go talk to him and ! tell him I sent you. Okay?" Nick instructed. "Sure thing Nicky." Aj said. He threw his drink away and began to walk out. "Oh, and Aj." Nick stopped him. "Yeah?" he looked at Nick. "Don't call me Nicky." Nick said. "Okay Nicky Pooh." Aj laughed. "Aj, just go talk to him." Nick said. Aj walked to Brian's room. He knocked on the door. "I'm not talking to anyone unless it's Amanda." Brian said with his face buried in his pillow. "I need to talk to you." Aj said. "I just want to be alone." Brian said. "Nick said I had to talk to you." Aj said. Brian opened the door. "Okay, come in." Brian sighed. "Okay, you probably wonder why I've been so emotional lately." Brian said as Aj sat down. "Well yeah." AJ said. "Well there's no easy way to say this..." Brian took a deep breath. "I'm gay." Brian said. Aj sat there. "Oh man, gay? Wow, man, I'm sorry. I mean, not sorry tha! t you're gay, but..." Aj began to stutter nervously. "Aj, it's okay." Brian said. "Yeah." Aj smiled. He hugged Brian. "I'll still support you, you're still my bro, you know that right?" Aj said. Brian nodded as his tears hit Aj's shirt. "Thanks." Brian said as he wiped away his tears. "Not to sound rude, but you're not trying to, uh,?" Aj asked nervously. "No Aj." Brian laughed. "Oh, okay, come here then." Aj smiled and embraced Brian again. "You gonna be okay?" he asked. "Yeah, Amanda will be here by tomorrow." Brian said. Just saying Amanda's name made Brian glow with happiness. "Great!" See you in the morning Brian." Aj smiled. "Night." Brian said as he laid down. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 4: A Little Help From A Friend.... "He's in his room. He said he won't come out unti! l you get here, but no one knows why." Kevin said as Amanda set her belongings next to Brian's door. "I'll get him out, thanks Kev." Amanda winked. Kevin left and Amanda opened the door. She gently sat on Brian's bed. She was facing his back. "Hey Sexy Man." Amanda whispered. Brian turned around. "Princess!" he smiled and gave her a hug. "Where's my hello kiss?" she smiled at him. He leaned in and gave her a kiss. "I missed you so much." Brian said as he cried. "Oh, I missed you too, but I'm here now so please don't cry." she said sympathetically. "I told someone else yesterday." Brian said as he laid down his head on Amanda's lap. She stroked the back of his neck. "Who?" she asked. "Aj." Brian replied. "I take it he's okay?" Amanda guessed. "yeah, it's just, I don't know who I really am." Brian said as tears built up in his eyes. "What do you mean?" Amanda asked. He sigh! ed. "Like, I don't like girls that way, but I don't like guys that way either." Brian said. "You'll figure it out." Amanda said. "I better find out soon." he said as he dried his tears. He was emotionally confused. "Did you want to wait to tell the others?" Amanda asked as she gently stroked her hand up and down his arm. All he could do was nod. "You must be hungry, whatta ya say we have a picnic on this gorgeous beach front property, huh?" Amanda asked, trying to cheer Brian up. "Yeah, but first I should get dressed." he said as he stood up. "Tell ya what, we'll get dressed up, I'll take you on a date." Amanda smiled. "How's that sound?" she asked. "That sounds good." Brian smiled back. "Okay, that's my Sexy Man." she said as she kissed his cheek. "Thanks Princess, I love you." he said as he hugged her tight. She hugged him back. "I love you too, I'll meet you in an hour okay?" she said. ! Brian nodded. "Uh, where do I sleep?" Amanda giggled. "Oh, right on the right when you walk out." Brian showed her. *************************************** Brian knocked on Amanda's door. But there was no answer. "Princess, you there?" he asked as he slowly opened the door. He saw her on the he floor crying with a tissue in hand. He ran up to her. "Amanda what happened?" Brian asked. she looked up to him with teary eyes. She faked a smile. "Nothing, ready to go?" he asked as she stood up. "No, tell me what's wrong." Brian demanded. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 5: The Truth.... "It's okay. I'll be fine." she said as she stood up and smoothed out her shirt and faked a smile. "Amanda, tell me what's wrong." Brian demanded. "I just got a call from Mr. Small." she said. Brian hugge! d her. She began to cry. He kissed the top of her head. "He dumped me." she said. "Why?" Brian asked. "Younger woman." she cried. "But you're not even old." Brian said. "I know, I know." she said as she cried on Brian's chest. Brian all of a sudden felt different. He felt like he should do something more, beyond the hug and kiss on the head. For one brief moment, he changed. That moment became a minute, and longer. Brian lifted her head towards his. "You don't need him." Brian said. Amanda smiled and wipped away the makeup off Brian's shirt. "Thank you Sexy Man. I'm glad I can talk to you." she said as she hugged him tight. He looked down at her. She could feel his eyes laid upon her. She looked up into his eyes. He looked over her face and leaned in to kiss her. Not his normal kiss. Amanda searched his eyes for what he was thinking.&nb! sp; He liked the feeling of actually kissing her. He did it once more. Amanda pulled away and smiled at him. She began to walk away. Brian followed her and stopped her. "Where are you going?" he asked. "Brian, you and I both know that that didn't mean anything." she said with more tears in her eyes. "Like hell it didn't." he took her hand and turned her around and kissed her. "Brian, you're gay, please stop pretending that you're not." she whispered to him. "But I'm not. I'm actually attracted to you Amanda." he said as he stroked her cheek. She looked at him confused. "Brian, please stop messing with me." she said as tears built up again. He shook his head and pulled her as close to him as possible. "Feel that?" he asked as he looked at her. She felt it all right. The only time that happened was when Amanda brought over her Tom Cruise movies. "I love you." he whisper! ed as he kissed her deeply. "Brian, I don't think this feels right." she whispered and pulled away from him. "Amanda, listen, I don' know how to explain this either, but you just, I can't believe I'm saying this, you just turned me on." he smiled. "But you're gay." she said. "Maybe, maybe it was a stage." "You can't be gay one minute and be straight the next." Amanda told him. "I know, it sounds crazy, but I actually am attracted to you right now." he said as hugged her tighter. Amanda was very skeptical. She pulled away from him. "Come with me." she said as she took his hand. She led them to the livingroom. Howie and Aj were sitting on the couch watching Kevin and Nick play video games. "Guys, can I have your attention?" Amanda said. They paused the video game and looked at the two. "What turns you guys on the most?" she asked. "What?" Nick asked. "I wanna know." Amanda said. "Why?" H! owie asked. "Please, I just need to know." she said. They looked at each other. "Well, great personality." Kevin said. "Oh come on, I wanna know exactly. What body part?" Amanda asked. "Boobs." Aj smiled. "Okay, thank you." she said as she walked away with Brian in hand. The guys looked at each other. "Why did she wanna know that?" Nick asked. "Probably trying to get Brian excited." Aj said. "Is she trying to make him straight or something?" Kevin asked. They all shrugged. "Sit down." Amanda told Brian as they got in her room. "Princess, what are you doing?" Brian asked. "Just sit down, I wanna see if you're bluffing." she said. She put her hands at the bottom of her shirt and slid her shirt off. Brian couldn't believe what she was doing. "Amanda, taking your shirt off isn't going to let you know for sure." Brian said as he stood up next to her. He leaned in and began to kiss her.! "I wanna show you that I love you." he whispered into her ear. Amanda could tell that he wasn't lying to her. She kissed him and slid his shirt off. "Okay." she said as she sat on the bed. "Are you sure?" he asked. "Brian, if you love me, and know this is what you want, then I'm sure. I've known you all my life. And, I love you too." she said as she took his hands and sat him down also. He smiled at her and began to kiss her.... ********************************************* Brian held Amanda close to him and stroked his fingers up and down her arm. Amanda sighed and kissed his hand. Brian pulled more blanket up to them. "Do you regret it?" Brian asked. Amanda shook her head. "You?" she asked. "I only have one regret." he said. Amanda looked at him. "What's that?" she asked. "Not loving you sooner." he smiled. She kissed him. "What are you going to tell the guys?" sh! e asked. "That I met the love of my life." he said. "You're being such a suckup." Amanda giggled. "And?" he asked. She tapped his chest. "Would you like to fire Jason, or should I?" he asked her. "Let me, I wanna see the look on his face." she smiled. Brian laughed and looked at her. "What are you thinking?" she asked. "Just thinking about how relieved I am to finally be able to say who I am. I actually know for sure now." he sighed. "I'm glad you know for sure." she said as she kissed him. |