Nintendo Big Brother Reunion

"Hello--nice to see you all again."

Toad sits in the parlor once again with the cast of Nintendo Big Brother, seated facing him.  Their order has been determined by when they were evicted from the house.  Everyone, from the first evictee to the winner of Big Brother, is present.

"Yeah, well, it ROTS seeing you again!" bellows Bowser, quickly.

"We're all meeting again here for the Nintendo Big Brother Reunion episode, where we'll all look back on the game's events and clarify some of the most confusing points.  We're also going to compare some notes--mental notes, in particular--concerning everyone's game stratagies, playing styles, and who they believed was an ally and enemy."

The group looks around; smiles pass between some of the players.

"So, first question goes right to our big winner, and the main man," begins Toad, turning his attention to a grinning Yoshi.  "Yoshi: how did YOU win this?  The site hosting this game is backing you, its fans are backing you, everyone else here SHOULD'VE been out to stop you from the very beginning, and odds have always been against you winning ANYTHING sponsored by Yoshi Stadium--it's just not kosher to let your site mascot win any feature or event hosted on YS, right?  That's what everyone seems to think, anyways."

"Yeah, odds were definately against me, I guess," laughs Yoshi, "particularly when you look at it in that light.  I honestly didn't think I had much of a prayer when I first started, either; WHO on earth lets the site mascot win?  It's just like you said--nobody does it!  It doesn't happen!  I figured I was doomed to lose EVERYTHING I ever got to be part of, all because I just HAPPEN to be Yoshi Stadium's mascot!  Everyone assumes it's TOO PREDICTABLE for me to win, so the odds are constantly stacked against me!  I'm still kind of shocked."

"Believe it or not, so are our viewers, actually," replies Toad.  "We've already started receiving mail from people who were surprised by your victory; apparently, it's not as "predictable" as the on-line population assumed!  But let's get to Captain Falcon with a question: Falon, WHY would you bring Yoshi to the Final Two instead of Fox?"

"My alliance was with Yoshi--I couldn't help it," answers Captain Falcon, with a smile.  "And I don't regret doing it."

"But you could've won!  You *OBVIOUSLY* were planning the game out in your head the entire time; were you really that devious, yet--at the same time--so incredibly loyal that you decided to make the bad decision and take someone you were OBVIOUSLY going to have a worse shot at beating?

"Yeah....I'd say that sums it up," responds Captain Falcon, after scratching his chin thoughtfully for a moment.

"And no regret for taking Yoshi and losing to him?"

"None," smiles Captain Falcon.  "That's what F-Zero is for; it keeps my wallet fat and my pockets full."

"Well said," replies Toad, moving on down the line to a leering Fox.  "Oh, gosh....the moment of truth has arrived!  Fox McCloud, everyone."

Fox stands and bows as several of the residents applaud...and a few boo.

"Alright, Mr. Villain-type.  WHY act like such a smug, filthy wretch for the entire game?" asks Toad, seriously.

"Believe it or not, Toad, I think my best asset has been my intelligence, and I actually came into this game with my moves all planned out," explains Fox.  "Nobody likes a liar--a sneaky, demonic liar--but ANYONE will take the villain to the end in the Final Two, if they have a shot at beating them, right?"

There's a pause, and before Toad can speak, Fox clarifies quickly.

"Alright, that's the downfall of my plan: see, NOT everyone will take the sneaky liar to the end," concedes Fox, gesturing at Captain Falcon.  "I didn't plan on Falcon being so generous and loyal.  By the same token, however, he had me fooled that he was going along with my plan the entire time, and was kind of tied to me from the moment the game started.  He totally had me fooled that he was dependent on me, but in reality, he was playing the entire game on his own."

"How could you have POSSIBLY beat him, in the end?" asks Toad, confused.

"Luck," replies Fox.  "I was also planning on pointing out that Falcon had rode my coat-tails for most of the game, and that I had made it as far as him playing the game in a much more difficult style; it's EASY to make it far when everyone likes you, but as soon as everyone hates your guts, it's miraculous to survive that long."

"And if you don't mind, who'd you vote for?" asks Toad.

There's a pause.

"You won't ever believe this, but...for Yoshi."

Heads turn like mad to get a glimpse of Fox, and there's immediately a scurry of whispered suggstions between the others--perhaps Fox had a huge brain injury or memory lapse just before voting?  Fox only smiles.

"I don't know if I should believe it or not," replies Toad.  "Why on earth would you have a change of heart and vote for Yoshi?"

"I'm really quite impressed by his ability to last this long in the game without telling any lies, or turning on anyone.  It's really an admirable thing, and surely takes just as much skill as fooling everyone into thinking that you're completely incompetent...if not more skill.  Yoshi played very well, and he played the hard way.  I'm not a sucker for loyalties and morals, but I'm really competitive and love a challenge--that side of me pushed the vote to Yoshi in the end."

"Who would've guessed..." murmurs Toad, voicing everyone's feelings.  "Before we move along, Fox...tell the truth, now that the game is over: did you trap Link down in the basement?"

"No!  NO A THOUSAND TIMES OVER!" exclaims Fox, laughing.  "Talk to the girl in blue there, she can clear THAT matter up!"

Toad's bemused smile looks to Krystal, and she laughs.

"Yeah, I'm to blame," blurts Krystal, somewhat embarrassed.  "I cut the power in the basement, then locked Link down there.  But Fox and I discussed that plan long before I put it into action."

"Gotta have a girl do your dirtywork, eh Fox?" quips Toad.

Krystal shrugs.

"I guess I'm getting good at it, between this and Nintendo Survivor," she answers.

"Well, time to move to the biggest troublemaker in the game," continues Toad, moving down the line to the King of Koopas, who smiles broadly.  "Bowser...WHAT ON EARTH made you just walk out this close to the end?"

"Gah-ha-ha!  Your pitiful little prize money couldn't have kept the mighty King of Koopas cooped up in this stuffy little shanty even if you had added ANOTHER zero to it!" roars Bowser, proudly.

"Another zero?" gapes Toad.  "We already had it set to one million--we could never afford to give away ten times that much in one game!"

Bowser's mouth drops, and his eyes bulge.

"ONE MILLION?!" he screeches, his pupils widening.  "ONE MILL-....ONE MILL-...."

The group looks around at each other, half-smiling.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did you think you were playing for something less?" asks Toad, breaking a slight grin.

"MY INVITATION SAID TEN BUCKS!" bursts Bowser, the veins in his neck straining as his eyes bug with fury.  "SOMEONE RUBBED OUT THE OTHER ZEROES!"

"Oh....well, that's a shame," utters Toad, shrugging his shoulders and moving on past a huffing, panting Bowser.  "Zelda, arguabley the smartest person in the game..."

Zelda shrugs, blushing.

"That's me, I guess," she laughs, after a pause.

"If that's the case, why aren't YOU sitting up there?" grills Toad, wryly.

"Miscommunication, and poor planning on my part," answers back Zelda.  "I had made up my mind to try to pull Fox under the impression that I was completely under his spell, a la all these OTHER girls..."

She waves a hand behind her at the crowd of women who had been voted out earlier, and some of them make faces at being referred to in such a negative manner.

"I intended to tell Yoshi, but somehow it slipped my mind.  Then, voting time came, and when I saw my name come up over and over, I remembered that I had never said anything, and now I was paying for it."

"You figured that yourself and Yoshi were taking out Captain Falcon, and then--hopefully next--the mighty McCloud?"

"Exactly...but my plans were amiss, due to my complete forgetfulness," finishes Zelda.

"Even though Yoshi had a hand in voting you off, did you return the favor by casting a vote with his name?"

Zelda smiles.

"Of course I did.  Even though his vote was negative and mine was positive, we both wrote each other's names, so it's all fair."

"Bowser, I skipped you--who'd you vote for?"

"Falcon," replies Bowser, as an afterthought.

"And why did you vote for Captain Falcon?" presses Toad.

"I dunno.  Impulse?"

"Much like most of your thinking," replies Toad, moving on before Bowser understands the statement.  "Krystal and Ganondorf, the two victims of our "big twist", as it were.  Let's start with you, Krystal."

Krystal and Ganondorf smile, but Ganondorf's is more of a pained smile.

"How can you possibly dig this McCloud guy up here?" asks Toad, very seriously.  "He's filthy, lying scum!  You saw it all yourself!"

Fox grins and looks back at Krystal, who laughs.

"Actually, I find filthy, lying scum somewhat attractive..." muses Krystal, a mischievous look on her face.

"Then I'm your man!" blurts Bowser, proudly, and Krystal's glimmering eyes wrinkle up in a funny expression.

"I assume your vote went to your boyfriend's old teammate, then?" continues Toad.

"Boyfriend?" laughs Fox.

Krystal gazes back at Toad, a mix of expressions on her face, before replying, "We're working on THAT issue right now...and he'll cooperate sooner or later..."

There's a chorus of "ooo"s and Bowser elbows Fox, who shoves Bowser, annoyed.

"Enough said.  We'll not speak of this topic again during the show," replies Toad, smirking a little as he moves on to Ganondorf.  "Ganondorf!  Out of all these players, I seriously believed that you were the one destined to win the game."

"Me, too," replies Ganondorf, rather painfully as he smiles.

"Your game seemed so solid, and despite being sort of a rotten, sneaky devil, you were surprisingly strong, honest, and knowledgable.  The way you bounced from side to side made me think, 'Gosh, he's going all the way without a single scratch on him!'.  And you're sitting all the way back HERE!  Why?"

"I'm still not sure," answers back Ganondorf, with a sigh.  "It wasn't meant to be, I guess.  Somewhere along the way, Fox and Krystal caught onto me and Bowser, and I think Link, Zelda, and Yoshi had been suspecting that we were bouncing around.  It's a smart move to stay in the middle of things...but only for so long.  When the time comes that people start figuring you out, it's your warning to take a side and get out of that middle territory...because one side or another, if not both, is coming to take you out of the game."

"And that was your error?"

"Yeah.  Bowser and I stayed in those middle grounds too long, and became an easy target for both sides, since we couldn't be trusted by either party."

"And it sounds like you were really taken by Captain Falcon's acting, as well?"

"Yes, DEFINATELY!  I'm kind of proud of him, really; it was a genious plan, and incredible acting!  He really had me convinced up to the day after I was evicted.  Then, I started piecing things together, such as his constant losing, but his hard efforts as we neared the end of the game--he seemed to be trying too hard to lose that badly everytime.  After all, NOBODY has luck THAT bad; it had to be an act."

"So you only confirmed that Captain Falcon was acting the day AFTER you were evicted?"

"That's correct," answers Ganondorf.

"Krystal just said she voted for Captain Falcon; did you do the same?"

"After that kind of awesome performance--which probably would never have been discovered had I not pointed it out to everyone--I had to give my vote to Captain Falcon.  In my eyes, he played this game better than anyone could even PLAN to play it!"

"Very good," answers Toad, moving to Link.  "And, perhaps the hero of the game."

Link turns slightly red.

"You do realize that, to the audience, you were viewed as the upstanding, heroic player in this house, right?" asks Toad, and Link chuckles, feeling a bit embarrassed.

"I wouldn't have been able to tell how I came off, I was inside the game the entire time," answers Link, quickly.

"Aside from Yoshi, you were the most upstanding, straight-shooting player in the game, and the audience loves a good hero."

"So do I, so that's the type of player I tried to be," responds Link, seriously.  "As they say in Viewtiful Joe, "Everyone loves a hero.  Everyone loves you."

"Ah, a Viewtiful Joe fan?" asks Toad.

"Not particularly, but I'd really like to meet up with Joe sometime," replies Link.  "Maybe we could square off or something, and I could see if he's all that everyone makes him out to be..."

"That'd be a challenge to see," replies Toad.  "And your vote?"

"Went to Yoshi, no doubts or questions," replies Link, cheerfully.  "It sounds like Captain Falcon played a pretty mean game, but when all's said and done, my allies are my allies, and if I have the chance to support one of them, I take that chance without a second thought."

"Exactly why everyone loves you," remarks Toad, stepping down the line to Donkey Kong.  "DK...the only player to leave this house twice in the same game."

"Hey, don't rub it in," grumbles Donkey Kong.

"Sorry.  But, I did find it funny that, considering how strong you are, you felt the need to leave the game from a bloody nose..."

"It was BROKEN!" retorts DK, quickly.

"We checked the x-rays, just to be sure.  It wasn't even sprained."

"Well it FELT broken..." grumbles Donkey, sourly.

"Now what kind of stratagey did you have, DK?" asks Toad, moving to a better subject.

Donkey Kong thinks for a moment...without coming up with anything.

"Uh...I don't know," he replies, finally.  "I guess I was just reacting to what was happening; if somebody made a move one way, I tried to make a move the opposite to keep myself in the game."

"But, instead, you moved yourself in Check," replies Toad.

"Yeah, I guess so," answers Donkey Kong, frowning.  "I didn't see what was going on too well when I came back into the game."

"And your vote?"

"Went to Captain Falcon," answers DK.  "I sort of had an alliance with him, and knew him a lot better than Yoshi--I hardly ever even got to know him!"

"Good enough reason," replies Toad, moving to Samus.  "Samus, I can honestly say right now that your eviction from this game was least fair."

"I can honestly agree," replies Samus, although her tone is not bitter.

"Let me get this straight: Fox talked your teammates--Link, Zelda, and Yoshi--into believing that you were secretly turning on them...when FOX, in fact, was the traitor?"

"I was totally framed by him.  And kudos to him, it worked pretty well," replies Samus, and she gives Fox a thumbs up, who returns the gesture with a smirk.

"And by that single nasty move, and that misplaced trust, you got voted out?"

"That's essentially it.  I mean, sure, I was kind of cold and not very friendly...and there WAS that incident where I blew out the power..."

She rolls her eyes innocently, and a few people laugh as they remember the trouble she caused single-handedly.

"But, I'd say the reason I was voted out can be summed up in two words: Fox McCloud."

"I have a feeling several of the people here can use those same two words to explain their own evictions," returns Toad, moving down the line to Impa.  "Impa....hi."


Toad stammers, looking for something to say.  Impa waits patiently, her face in an awkwardly-stiff expression that appears permanent.  She waits rigidly for him to ask her a question.



Toad looks up at Impa, confused.

"I...uh...didn't ask a question yet-"

"I know," answers Impa, one of her eyes bulging out in a crazy manner as her piercing eyes burn a hole through Toad.

"But why did-"

"I was waiting...for the question..." blurts Impa, her eyes fixed on Toad.

"Oh....alright.  Um..."

Toad loses his focus as Impa sticks out her tongue and licks the edge of her lower lip slowly, as if she is imagining him in a stew or as a pot roast...and growing hungry.

"Who'd you vote for?" he blurts, beginning to panic.

"The.....lizard...." grunts Impa, her eyes shifting slightly to stare into space inches above Toad's head...and a few inches to the left.

"That's fine, thanks," replies Toad, quickly passing Impa to talk to Peach.  "Peach, I've got a really good question for you: WHERE WERE YOU?"

"Huh?" asks Peach, surprised and confused.

"Exactly!  You didn't seem to EVER be thinking!" exclaims Toad, very frankly.

"I was thinking!" retorts Peach, somewhat hurt.

"Yeah, about Fox," snarles Bowser.  "You SHOULD'VE been busy idolizing ME, you know!"

"I thought you and Mario were going out or something!" continues Toad, and Peach bites her lip a little.

"Um....well.....Mario and I go out..." she stammers, not sure of a good answer.  "...sometimes..."

"But what I don't understand is why you went for a guy like Fox who wanted to use you as a human shield for himself in this game, when Mario sincerely believed he could keep you safe!" pushes Toad.

"Oh...well, that's of Mario," Peach fumbles, unable to come up with good phrases...or sentences, for that matter.

Toad sighs, somewhat disgustedly, and moves past her.

"I voted for Captain Falcon!" she cries, quickly.

"Birdo, you were the martyr for the "good guys" and the villain-turned-heroine.  You probably don't realize how many fans you made during your time in this game, be it as short as it was."

Birdo blushes and smiles.

"I did what I had to in order to save my sweetie.  And it was enough."

"Not only did you save your "sweetie", you made him win it all!" replies Toad.  "Are you two planning on doing something together now that the game is over?"

"Well, we'd LOVE to do some sight-seeing, maybe tour somewhere exotic and...private..."

Toad catches on quickly, and breaks a smile. 

"You two are made for each other, you know that?" he asks, with a laugh.

"I think we found that out pretty quick," returns Yoshi.

"Any regrets at ALL about leaving Fox's side just to get evicted in short order?" asks Toad, although he can guess her answer.

"None at all," answers Birdo, quickly, with a smile.  "I'd have done it over and over, and it paid off as much as it possibly could've!"

"No doubts in HER mind..."

Toad moves on to Wrinkly, sitting quietly, but waiting pleasantly for her own turn.

"Wrinkly, for being your age, you had a lot of potential right from the beginning," begins Toad.  "Your age actually might've been able to be used to your advantage--I thought for sure that most of the players would dismiss you as a threat and simply ignore you!"

"I guess I wasn't that lucky this time," smiles Wrinkly, cheerfully.  "Oh well."

"And I also hear you've already made some more plans?"

"Yes, I intend to spend a little time with my husband now," answers Wrinkly, delighted.  "He and I are going to go participate in another little game, some sort of race..."

"A little quality time with Cranky Kong, eh?" laughs Toad.  "Is he really as cranky as his name implies?"

"Oh, well, he's not really cranky..." explains Wrinkly, good-naturedly.  "But he does tend to become rather disgruntled easily...  He just need to get a good night's sleep every night and a big cup of coffee first thing every morning!"

"And your vote?"

"My vote was cast for Yoshi," responds Wrinkly.  "He was a very admirable player, and I love loyalty and honesty.  But, I believe both these boys did a wonderful job of playing this game."

"Agreed!" says Samus, and several others add their own support.

"Mario, we've got a few questions for you now," continues Toad, turning to the super plumber, who winces.  "First of all, it's hard to believe that you were taken out so early on.  As we said earlier, a victim of Fox McCloud."

"Yeah, I didn't really have a chance," explains Mario.  "As soon as McCloud turned, I was in the line of fire.  So, my neck was first on the line and first out of the game for our side.  But, I don't hold it against anyone, I guess.  When I gave my last words before voting, I was feeling a little envious.  But, I've passed that.  Yoshi still played a good game."

"And your vote went to him, I assume?"

"Indeed it did," responds Mario.  "We're not only allies from this game, but we're also friends outside of the game--as most of you are aware."

"Did it cross your mind even once to try to turn on your alliance at all, or even Yoshi, at the very start of the game, or even before it began?"

"Well, it crosses EVERYONE'S mind!" laughs Mario.  "At some point, every player thinks, 'Hmmm, I wonder if I can take out So-and-so without endangering myself, and completely take control!'--it's just instinct to try and stir stuff up in your favor!  However, I don't believe it would've worked for me, even if I had."

"How do you figure that?"

"Well, I'm pretty certain Fox McCloud wouldn't have wanted to take on a side-switcher, when he, himself, was doing the same.  He wouldn't have trusted me, so I'd have been cornered by both sides.  And if I had tried to avoid his cooperation, I would've been fighting a war by myself, and ended up getting pinned down just as early on for not really matching up to ANY side.  It was a lose-lose situation."

"Thanks, Mario.  Two players left, and we're on the second of the two, Candy.  Candy Kong, why'd you lose out in the second episode of the game?"

"Well, dude, I was totally overpowered after girlfriend Daisy busted out," answers Candy, not especially bitter or cheerful.  "After she got bugged out, I had, like, no support, man.  All the vibes left were against me!"

"You were sort of a pawn still, though," replies Toad.  "I think Fox was hoping to use you to take out more threatening players, but didn't really get the chance."

"Yeah.  He was a pretty cool dog, so I wouldn't have guessed him out, man."

"And who'd you vote for?" finishes Toad.

"Well, dude, I asked my question, and the Falcon dude's answer was way more my vibe.  I totally digged his layed-back, mellow style, man.  So, I pitched him my vote, right?"

"But Yoshi wasn't really layed back?" asks Toad.

"Nah, he was a bit up tight for my taste, man," replies Candy.  "It's nothing against him, but I'm really diggin' the cool cats, you dig?"

"Yeah, I dig," responds Toad, moving to Daisy.  "And our first evictee..."

"Oh!  I'm so embarrassed!" Daisy cries, hiding her face and laughing nervously.

"Nah, somebody has to go first, and it was your bad fortune to be the victim for Nintendo Big Brother," says Toad, and the other players quickly voice their support.

"Aww, thanks guys," Daisy laughs.  "You're all so nice to almost makes me forget that you all voted me out first!"

The support quickly wanes and dies, and Daisy laughs.

"So what's the word on being voted out first?" asks Toad.

"Hey, it stinks, nobody likes it," answers Daisy.  "I mean, it's a dishonor!  If you're voted out first, it means you're liked the least!  Or, you were worst adapted to finishing the game!  It's bad no matter what the case!  But, it's all good, because it's just a game."

"You said it," concedes Toad.  "And on that note, who'd you vote for?"

"Sorry Yoshi," says Daisy, turning to face the winner.  "But my vote went to Captain Falcon.  "I'm just...WAY into his whole muscle-thing."

"Muscle-thing?" asks Yoshi, squinting at Captain Falcon and laughing.

"Hmm...conditioning pays off, I guess," replies Captain Falcon, flexing an arm with a grin.

"At any rate, our time is up, and this concludes the Nintendo Big Brother series," finishes Toad.  "Thank you all for joining us, and congratulations to Yoshi.  Good job by everyone, and I wish you all the very best.  Hopefully I'll see several of you again in some other series soon.  Also, I've just received word that everyone who enjoyed reading Nintendo Big Brother should stay tuned in December for Nintendo Amazing Race 2, featuring 12 all-new teams, new check-points, and even a new set of rules!  That's it for this season, and watch for news on a possible second season of Nintendo Big Brother!  On behalf of Yoshi Stadium, Pirate Yoshi, and the Yoshi Stadium Staff, thanks for reading and see you all soon!"
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