Tsubasa Kurenai rode happily down the road on his bike, his dress flowing in the breeze, his hair and eyes shining in the sun, his dainty sailor shoes pedaling vigorously. He hummed a tune as he turned a corner, elegantly avoiding the tiny wrinkled figure which whizzed past. It wasn't until Tsubasa had ridden another block before he realized he had the hugest bundle he had ever seen, clutched tightly in his hand. Hmm, he mused, musta unconsciously used that Snake Hands teqnique I've been practizing... The bike screeched to a halt. He let go of the other bike handle and opened the bag. It was full of high-quality silk underwear. Tsubasa cocked an eyebrow. Now exactly who'd carry around this much underwear?

"AAAUGHHHHH!!! MY BEAUTIFUL UNDERWEAR!! IT'S GONE!!! OH, WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS?!"

The mob of angry women didn't hesitate to show him their very firm opinion on just what he'd done.

Tsubasa swung his bicycle easily round the koi pond and got off, carrying the bundle with him. He'd ask the Tendos and the Saotomes. When something weird happened, they were usually a very safe bet. Kasumi was standing outside, hanging up some clothes, so he strolled over to her, waving and smiling. Kasumi was a very nice person, who always seemed happy to meet anyone, but now she only gave him a dull look and a nod. He approached her, dumping the mountain of lingerie next to her. Her facial features twitched slightly. "You're not going to ask me to wash all that, are you?" She tried hesitantly.
     Tsubasa giggled. "Wouldn't dream of it. I'm just wondering who it might belong to, cause--" Kasumi gave the underwear another quick glance and actually smiled a little. "Do you have to ask?" She said, hanging up the last pair of pants. "Huh?"  Tsubasa gave her an odd look. Kasumi picked up her basket. "Don't you know who the infamous local lingerie thief is?" Tsubasa shook his head uncertainly. "No...?"

"P-panties...must h-have p-- aaahhhh! Get away from my lingerie!"
Kasumi smiled as Tsubasa regarded the dirt and bruise-encased figure hobbling across the garden towards them. "What is that? Some kind of garden gnome on batteries or something?" Tsubasa mumbled to Kasumi through the corner of his mouth. "It's Happosai. The panty thief. And I think you may be in possession of his freshly picked loot, Tsubasa."
      Happosai's battle aura began to glow faintly red as he approached them, but suddenly faded as he was a mere feet away. It seemed as though he was properly noticing Tsubasa for the first time. He staggered, his eyes wide and shining.
"Kasumi, tell me..." He murmured, "Who is this angel? Is she a friend of yours?" Both Kasumi and Tsubasa opened their mouths to speak, but Happosai beat them to it. "It matters not! You are so fair, dewy-eyed and silky-haired that I shall call you..." He struck an artistic pose which would have envied even Tatewaki Kuno. "...Silk-Bra Sasami!" Kasumi winced at the sound of Tsubasa's knuckles cracking violently. "I see you have taken my lingerie, but I forgive you. May I perhaps interest you in something from my fine assortment of brassiers and panties, Silk-Bra Sasami? And I just want you to know that I don't mind helping you put them on, if you are in need of assistance!" He held up an exquisite black lacy bra in front of Tsubasa's deeply crimson grimace, and just smiled innocently, if such a word could be used.
      "SNAKE HANDS!" Tsubasa roared, and a second later, Happosai was in orbit, completely trapped in the bra. "I guess I'll see you later then, Silk-Bra Sasami!" Happosai cooed from the air before landing head first in the same mob he had just barely avoided only minutes ago.

Tsubasa turned to Kasumi, huffing in an upset manner. "How do you dare to hang your personal items out to dry with a hentai like that around?" He wondered. Kasumi prodded the bundle very carefully with her shoe. "Once he managed to get a kitten in here by mistake. Can you believe it? Um, what where you saying, by the way? Oh, right..." She sighed. "Well, let's see...he doesn't steal the boy's underwear, of course, so that leaves dad and Mr. Saotome off the hook...then there's Nabiki; he knows she'll take an awfully clever revenge on him if he does anything, so he doesn't touch her stuff if he can help it. Akane's underwear used to get robbed all the time until she got so angry she tried to run him over with a Coca Cola truck that happened to be in the neighbourhood, and both of them were injured; it's a long story. Ranma's stuff he loots occasionally just to annoy him, but he doesn't really bother, cause Ranma has mostly male underwear and the other stuff Ranma has isn't expensive enough for him." Tsubasa cocked his head to one side."What about you, Kasumi?"
      Kasumi turned as she was about to go inside with the basket. "Oh, me? No, he doesn't take any of my underwear. He said he likes me too much, because supposedly I remind him of  his mother. I guess also it's because I'm one of the few people who doesn't hit him all the time. I feel sorry for the poor old guy, not necessarily because he deserves it, but because he's gotten so deep into sleeze, scams, dishonesty and pervertion that he can never change for the better and get some friends. Hmmm...I wonder if he was ever different..."
      Tsubasa blinked. You don't get to talk seriously much, do you, Kasumi? "Really? He thinks you remind him of his mom?" Kasumi nodded, smiling tiredly. "That's just the point. I remind everyone of their mothers...I just wish I could remind somebody of something else..." She pulled irritably at her ankle-long, blue dress, biting her lower lip. "You don't remind me of my mother." Tsubasa said, hoisting the underwear onto his back. Kasumi looked up at Tsubasa. "I don't?" Tsubasa shook his head. "No, she was much less...I don't know, in control of things. Calming." Kasumi put her basket just inside the door, and turned to Tsubasa, grinning. "Heh. If you say so. Let's go get this lingerie back to its rightful owners, okay?" Tsubasa nodded, glancing sideways at Kasumi, wondering what she was thinking. "Do you work anywhere, Tsubasa?" Kasumi asked casually as they walked, and Tsubasa looked at her. "Yeah, I have a part-time welding job to save up money for later. Why?"
      Kasumi just smiled.

Genma Saotome lay on his back, watching the approaching afternoon clouds, a dandelion stuck behind his ear and another eight stuck between his toes. He wondered briefly what if would be like to be an apple-picker in France, working long hard hours and drinking apple cider in the evenings, just thinking about life, about nothing, about not having a wife who was coming to town in a couple of days. He drew a long breath.
    Soun Tendo came walking up the hill at an amiable pace and lay down beside his friend, joining him in the study of cloud formations, thinking his own private little thoughts. Genma didn't comment on his arrival. "How long are you going to stay up here, Saotome?" Soun asked eventually, sparing Genma a quick sideways glance. Genma gave a big, slow grin. "Until the dandelions rot." Soun shrugged, a distant look in his eyes. "At least you still have a wife." Genma sighed and propped himself up on his elbows, looking at Tendo with empathy. "Oh please, Tendo...don't give me that. Don't say those things." Soun looked away. Genma scooted closer. "And if you want a wife that bad, you can have her." Soun snorted. "We both know you don't mean that." Genma smirked slightly. "Yeah...I know..." He lay back down, staring at the sky.
    "At least she'll be content that Ranma has a fiancé, right?" Genma asked the world in general. Soun said nothing.

Somewhere under the Furinkan gymnasium, someone was messing about with the occult. It wasn't the janitor, that's for sure.
It was Nabiki Tendo, flanked by Tatewaki Kuno and Hiroshi, who were hovering over her shoulders as she was trying to concentrate on the ancient scrolls. They were beginning to get pretty annoying. "Boys...let's go out for some refreshments, okay?" She sighed and rolled up the four scrolls before tucking them safely into her shoulder bag. Tatewaki and Hiroshi both nodded, wondering if the ritual would work. Nabiki Tendo, on the other hand, knew it would.

Happosai lay in a pile of...of...well, he didn't know what it was, because he was halfly unconscious. But it had a suspiciously garbage-like quality to the smell. A feeling that had never or seldom happened upon him was now welling up in his mind.
It was...it was...no, it couldn't be...shame? No, surely not him? Shame? He marveled at this, chills running across his back. What was this? What was the source? It was not the women who had beat him up because he'd stolen the underwear straight off of their bodies, that was for sure. Not a chance. He did that every day. But...but what was it, then?
      Someone was there. He looked up, his vision hazy. On a fence-pole, Cologne sat and regarded him, unamused. Her gaze was steel, but the grip on her stick was loose enough, showing that she wasn't really angry. You'd know it if Cologne was angry. She then looked at something across the road and darted over there as quickly as only a 3000 year old Amazon could. Happosai blinked, rubbing his ear.

Hiroshi sat in the Nekohanten, between Nabiki and Tatewaki. He sipped his tea with one elbow on the table, a far-away, and slightly bored look glazing his eyes. He was thinking about the spell...he was thinking about...about alotta things. Lately, he'd been thinking about those things almost every waking moment. And in his sleep. The idle chit-chat of The Sly Bookie Goddess and The Blue Thunder Of Furinkan High was mere background noise to him now. Suddenly someone poked him in the small of his back with a stick. "Aiieee!"
     Nabiki and Tatewaki eyed him for a while, marginally surprised, and looked behind him. There was no one there. Hiroshi joined them in their frown, then shrugged and turned. Three full seconds went by before-- "Aiiieee!" What was happening?
"Was that you?" He enquired hotly, not knowing if he should glare at Tatewaki or Nabiki. Both shook their heads. Next time the poke came, it was much stronger. He gritted his teeth, his fingers flexing with suppressed pain. "Ittai. Hmmm..." He narrowed his eyes, "I think I'll go for a refill..." He lifted his cup and sauntered over to the counter. He looked this way and that, but that young Amazon babe was nowhere to be seen. Ah well...she'd probably show up any minute. Through a wall or something.
      "You really aren't too bright, young man." Someone tugged his sleeve. He looked down to see the horrible apparition that was the Nekohanten's owner. He barely held back his shudder. He'd seen what happened to people who were disrespectful.
"Um...what?" He asked lamely, and she looked disapprovingly at him, but then seemed to reach a decision. "Come around to the back. We need to talk." Hiroshi could feel his back breaking into a cold sweat.

Yeah, yeah...I'm not too productive, so PART TWO isn't there yet.