| March 3, 2003 It is purely coincidence that I decided to continue my online journal exactly eight months after writing the first entry. Life is like that though. I'm not a spiritual person (especially if you rate spirituality based on religousness). Neither am I too supersticous or whimsical about life; I am a practical person. But I can't help but be fascinated by my dreams. Now, nobody wants to hear my dreams, I understand that. I know that it is common for people to dread the statement, "I had the weirdest dream last night..." But don't you think the importance is WHY the person had that weird dream? Who cares what the dream was: monsters, faeries, weird love interests..it is all cliche and overdone. But something drives us to have these repressed thoughts in the first place. An even more importantly, why are they repressed? Why do we have these issues that we can't confront in our daily lives? Are we too busy? I certainly have the time..I'm sitting here typing away on a website that nobody will ever visit..I think I am more than capable of handling the things that are floating around in that brain of mine right now..but my money is on the fact that, for some reason, my subconscoius feels the need to "save" me from the tough issues that are lurking up there. So they will have to wait until I get some shut eye. Then I'll confront them... ..yeah. I've always enjoyed the thought of an online journal. In fact, I like the fact that no one will ever visit it. I think I am even going to ignore the spelling errors and dumb subject matter. I am doing this for myself more than anything. Hey, even Oprah touts the value in a journal, and being the first woman billionaire I think she may be on to something. Back to sleepy time. You know, it is weird, but I trapped in this odd paradox that haunts me day to day. Although I sleep at least eight or nine hours a night, and although I fall into what feels like a deep sleep where I dream five minutes after my eyes close, I wake up suprisingly unfulfilled, as though I had a mere cat nap. This effect was interesting for awhile but as the days drag on it is getting rather old. I have been very thoughful lately and I suppose the various things running through my mind are prohibiting a restful sleep. Not to mention those pesky repressed thoughts I have to deal with when the dreams role around. I saw "Cruel Intentions" the other day. Interesting movie. Comic when it wanted to be profound or shocking. I feel emberassed for movies like that. "Cruel Intentions" was one of those films that I always wondered about but was too lazy to rent since I knew in the back of my mind that I wouldn't enjoy it. The subject matter alone seemed boring to me. Nevertheless it was on television last Saturday and I found myself tuning in. Spring Break is near, and while many people are planning vacations and wild adventures I intend on doing a mass ammount of reading. I want to read as much as I possibly can, I want to actually get the books that people always recommend, not just nod and say "I'll rememeber that" as I plan what I'm going to say after they stop rambling on about the book I never intend to read. Books I've read recently: read if you're: Stupid White Men, by Michael Moore (a radical, environmentalist or hate Bush) Silas Marner, George Eliot (want to gain some perspective on life.. who doesn't?) Pride & Prejudice, Jane Austen (no comment) The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams(fan of sci-fi humor/philosophy) Actually I am still reading that last one. Don't I sound smart? Nah I'm just into books. No different then being into tv or any form of entertainment, really. That is odd, isn't it? Somehow people have attached this negativity to television/internet etc but if you're reading a book you are somehow performing a noble act. Isn't it all entertainment? Why is that such a dirty word? I'm contemplating getting rid of one of my nintendo systems or my playstation. I really can't decide what to do. On one hand my nintendo systems have my Zelda and Mario games, which are crucial to my collection, but on the other my Playstation is the newest machine and would be hard to sell. What to do? Maybe I'll keep them for another couple of years. I like writing poetry, although I am not comfortable putting it "out there" for all to see. Probably part of that is because the content matter is a bit more personal then whether or not I trash my nintendo. I am being summoned by an online mode of correspondance. Guess I'll tend to that as I cannot possibly to both. Back |